


Crystal Clear

by secretsailorscout



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: A Relationship Where People Talk, Aged-Up Character(s), Crystal Gem Family, Dom/sub Undertones, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feelings Over Various Drinks, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gals being pals, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, No Alphaholes Here, Older steven universe, Pants Feelings, Post-Steven Universe Future, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Power Play, Romance, Sex, Spicy Slow Burn, Steven Discovers Sexual Tension, Steven Has a Thing for Saving People, consent is super important, flirty banter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 110,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26489941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsailorscout/pseuds/secretsailorscout
Summary: “Ask me. Ask me and I will.” He was a Diamond. He did not beg. There was a desperate tilt to his voice anyway.Steven Universe finds himself enamored with the new librarian in Beach City. Only he isn’t the only one who’s interested. Pink Diamond is also intrigued, creating a whole new set of complications.
Relationships: Steven Universe & Original Character(s), Steven Universe/Original Character(s), Steven Universe/Original Female Character(s), Steven Universe/Reader, Steven Universe/You
Comments: 200
Kudos: 231





	1. Connie

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfic has been sleeping on the fact that Adult Steven is going to be like the perfect romantic lead. So I wrote it myself. Be the change you want to see in the internet. 
> 
> Some admin notes - The librarian is not named and is female presenting. It's you with long hair now. All other features, size, and color intentionally left ambiguous. Have fun. 
> 
> Also, it's mentioned in the story, but all human and hybrid characters are mid-twenties.

* * *

This was all Connie’s fault.

Steven groaned as he hit his mattress face first, stifling his pink cheeks in his bedding.

“Steven, is everything still okay up there?” He heard Pearl call out from the living quarters down the stairs.

“Fine!” He groaned out from his pillow, willing the rosy hue to dissipate from his body, to regain a sense of calm. He turned his mind to the breathing rhythm Garnet had taught him, to the assurances of his therapist that he was in control…

But oh wasn’t that the problem? That he wanted control?

Again the pink surge, emanating a glow when he thought of her and Steven curled in on himself, around his gem. He closed his eyes, willing the telltale light to _stop_ , for the song in his blood to _cease_.

He should be better at tempering these feelings. He was a grown man, or as Amethyst liked to mock him, a young adult. Yet here he was, yet again wrestling the half of him that was Pink Diamond back for control of his body once more. Except this time the problem wasn’t rage. No, rage he could handle. He’d traveled the entire country sorting that particular mess of emotions out. He’d been seeing Doctor Bright for years now.

This wasn’t rage. He’d never felt anything like this before.

This was Connie’s fault. After all, she was the one who’d introduced him to her.

He felt a pink hue overtake his limbs once more at the thought of her and he shuddered, biting back a groan.

It had all started when Pearl asked him to drop some books off at the library. He hadn’t thought much about them at first and really, he’d only been half listening. Connie was waist deep in her dissertation but she was coming back to Beach City. Despite the vast resources of her own university’s library, Buddwick Public Library was the library Connie knew best. She knew the inventory like the back of her hand. She was coming back to access some obscure title on politics and Steven was going to meet her. It was a two birds with one stone situation.

He hadn’t thought much until he saw the giant cardboard box with thick dusty tomes, scrolls, and leather bound copies brimming out of the top. He squinted at the titles, all of which some variation of Gem glyphs.

“Pearl, these are Gem books not library books.” He pointed out, confused.

“Steven for the love of… Were you not listening to a word I said? They’re part of Little Homeworld’s community cultural exchange initiative. Buddwick’s librarian is sending some essentials on human culture for Little Homeworld’s collection back with you. So don’t forget to drop these off and pick those up around seeing Connie.” Pearl told him pointedly. Steven flushed guiltily but waved his hand. He couldn’t help that he was distracted!

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll remember.” Steven assured her, shutting the trunk to the Dondai.

When he reached Buddwick, he’d gone in without the books. There was no rush after all.

Connie had been seated in her favorite chair towards the back, the one she proudly bragged to him had memorized her butt grooves. He’d breezed in and past the front desk without so much as a glance.

“Oh hey Steven!” Connie sighed, looking up abruptly from the page and giving him a two fingered salute of a wave.

“Hi Connie.” He whispered, happy to see her. Her hair had grown back out longer in her mid twenties but she was still the same old Connie Maheswaran. She beamed at him and he collapsed next to her feet, the position less comfortable than he remembered as a kid.

“I won’t be long.” Connie assured him, eyes flicking over a page. She balanced a notebook against her knee and scribbled a note. Steven raised his brows but said nothing. He’d heard that one before. He let out a sigh, his own leg jittering a bouncy rhythm. He was anxious for some reason.

Was he nervous about seeing Connie? No, that wasn’t right. They video chatted a few times a week. And she was just his best friend.

Sure, he had once upon a time hoped for more with her when he was a child. She was his first friend and his first crush. And his first girlfriend. They had tried to date. But the love that he held for Connie, when they were Stevonnie, it was a love that was pure. It was chaste. It was something delicate and soft, familial. When they had tried to be more it was missing a fire, a passion. It had felt wrong to force that relationship into the sexual.

They had both admitted it felt like kissing a sibling and had gone back to being what they were best, ultimate jam buds.

“How’s the dissertation coming along?” He asked, chancing a glance up.

Connie had started ruffling her hair as she read. That was never a good sign.

“Fine, fine. Just a few gaps I need to fill. I actually finished a draft of it. The librarian’s looking it over. Bless her.” She mumbled.

“That old lady’s still around?” He asked, rubbing the back of his head.

“Nah, she passed away last year. Someone new took over.” Connie shrugged.

Steven raised up a bit stealing a peek towards the front desk and immediately froze.

Looking back, Steven was fairly certain he made a sound that mangled between ‘Gosh’ and ‘Ungh.’

What Connie heard was: “Gunghhh.”

At the noise her eyes raised from her book. Steven had his eyes locked on the librarian and his whole body had flashed momentarily full rose pink.

A slow smirk spread across Connie’s face as her gaze flicked between the oblivious librarian and Steven, who looked on with wonder, like he had found something shiny.

“Like what you’re seeing, Universe?” She asked, a slow grin forming.

“She… She’s uh… She’s new.” Steven managed to spit out, still not looking away.

He had never seen so much hair on anyone other than Rose Quartz, a flowing mass that was piled on top of her head in a twisted hive of waves with what looked like pencils for hair sticks. She had large oversized octagon frames that balanced on the edge of her freckled nose. She was wearing red lipstick and twirling a red pen in her fingers like a baton as she flipped through the pages in front of her.

All of his anxious energy seemed to flow back into him with a snap, making his body flush pink. He had seen giant women, three armed women, and women that could fit in his hand. But he'd never seen a woman like her. He stared at her with stars in his eyes.

“Who?”

Connie stated her name as a question, amused. “She’s been in town for oh… four months? Took them forever to hire someone. She’s good people.” Connie shrugged. “How do I not even live here anymore and I know this?”

“Because you know everything.” Steven finally recovered, only partially joking.

“Hmph!”

“What do you know about her?” Steven urged.

“Mhm let’s see… She’s a recent grad and I think she’s a writer? She hasn’t mentioned much about her family but I don’t think she’s a relative of anyone we know. I’m pretty sure she’s moved in to the old Hershel cabin on the other side of the wharf?” Connie stated, half her face hiding behind her notebook as she joined Steven in staring.

“What else?” He asked faintly, distracted as he watched the librarian's eyebrows furrow. She didn’t like something she’d read. She nibbled on the cap of her pen, making notations here and there.

“She’s a Capricorn.” Connie stated emphatically.

“Really?” He mused, unsure what that meant.

“No. I made that up.” Connie snickered and Steven ripped his gaze from the librarian long enough to glare at his best friend.

“Connie!”

A strong shush rang out from the table next to them and the librarian looked up at this and in their direction. Steven felt his breath catch.

Her eyes. They shined like gemstones in light. She looked at him and he felt heat pool in his cheeks and in the bottom of his stomach. The librarian’s gaze shifted to Connie and her expression brightened. She motioned her closer excitedly.

“Come on, Romeo. I’ll introduce you.” Connie stated, rising from her chair.

“Nooo! Connie…” Steven warned her, his voice trailing. A slow smirk was settling in on his best friend’s face. It was the face she made when she was laying the trap for a practical joke. For when she ate the last of the ice cream but handed him the tub anyway. For when she got tickets for Dogcopter 9 early and surprised him.

“Connie!” The panic rose in his voice as he scrambled after her.

She beat him to the front desk and by the time he’s tripped and stumbled over his gangly legs and uncooperative feet it was too late.

“… and you should meet him! This is my friend, Steven Universe.” Connie practically chirped.

“Hello.” She introduced herself and Steven felt the heat in his stomach slide lower, wrapping itself tight around his gem. He could swear there were constellations in her eyes.

Oh no. He couldn’t stop himself from flashing pink once more. He prayed the ground would open and swallow him whole.

Her mouth fell open. “Did you just... Wait a minute… Steven Universe… You’re _that_ Steven Universe?”

“Who?” He heard himself ask dimly, not wanting to look away from her but also desperately needing to get away from her. He could feel his powers going haywire.

“Aren’t you the guy that stopped the alien invasion? I’m pretty sure I heard your interview on the colony here in Beach City on National Public Radio.” She said thoughtfully.

Steven couldn’t form words, excited he had just learned something new. She was a talk radio listener. She had tiny anime figures surrounding her desktop monitor. There were doodles on post-it notes and stuck around the phone. She had a brooch shaped like a leaf pinned to her sweater.

“Uh...” he replied eloquently.

“Oh you mean the Steven Universe who spent his childhood being a hero defending the Earth, then went to space and set up a new galactic order? That Steven Universe? Yeah, that’s my best friend.” Connie stated casually with a flippant wave of her hand.

Her job here was clear - Enter ultimate wingwoman Connie Maheswaran.

“Connie!” Steven whined, his cheeks flushing pink. “It wasn’t… It wasn’t quite like that.” He deflected modestly.

“That’s incredible. I heard you were from here but I never thought…” the librarian trailed “Well I never thought I’d meet you myself.” She smiled at him, the kind that lit up her entire face.

“Is he not what you pictured?” Connie asked slyly, eyes darting back and forth between them. “I assure you he is even more charismatic and good natured than Jack Spear made him out to be.”

Steven groaned and buried his face in his hand, attempting to hide his blush. He was against violence but he was positively going to murder Connie after this. He heard the librarian’s laughter, a full sound that reminded him of a melody he hadn't written yet.

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you then, Steven Universe.” She reached her hand out and he reached out and took it. It was soft and warm in his grip and with a start he realized he was beginning to float.

“Oh!” He heard the librarian gasp, she stared up at him, the constellations more apparent. Orion, Cassiopeia. Up, up, he floated. He didn’t let go of her hand but she broke eye contact to look around her frantically, her own gravity disappearing. Steven couldn’t bring himself to let go. Instead of keeping him grounded, she began to float upwards with him.

“Is this how you greet everyone?” She asked a bit breathlessly, unable to stop the amusement from soaking into her features.

“No this is new.” Steven murmured, “Well… The floating is old. A partner for it is new.” He held her hand and pulled. She lifted off, bouncing off the top of the circulation desk and into mid air, green skirts billowing behind her.

“Steven, what’s going on?” Connie asked nervously.

“I’m so sorry.” He assured the librarian, actually feeling anything but, “I haven’t lost control since I was a kid.”

“No don’t be. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever done.” she gushed, the stars back in her eyes as she looked at him. She reached out and took his other hand. Steven blushed darkly.

“How are you doing this?”

“I’m half-Gem on my mother’s side.” He stated wryly, “It comes with... quirks.”

“Steven! Should I call the fire department? Or the Gems?” Connie shouted up to him.

“We’ll be fine. I’ll get it together in a minute!” Steven yelled back down to her.

“At least we’re indoors.” The librarian muttered next to him. They were quickly floating up to the second floor of the library.

“Please don’t let go of me though.” She flashed a shy glance up at him and Steven’s gaze flickered into points.

“I won’t.” He assured her, pulling her up even with him and close to him with a tug. His arm slid around her waist and Steven couldn’t stop the shudder that rolled through his body when she gripped him, hand twisting in his star shirt, her toes balancing on the tops of his feet. He was fully pink now, the blood rushing in his ears as her scent, something floral, invaded his nose.

In the back of his mind Steven knew he was losing his grip, should call for the Gems as Connie had suggested. Just as he knew the reason they were floating was _because he wanted to be_. He did not at his core want this to end, want her to let go. And she did not want him to let go of her, a darker part of his mind assured him. So they continued to float.

“Yeesh. I really should dust the top of these bookcases more often.” She mumbled. He laughed lowly as she ran a finger through a high shelf as they floated upward past it.

“Steven are you sure about this? You’re pink.” Connie called up to him, doubt seeping into her voice.

“Fine! Don’t worry.” He called back down to her. His floating partner gripped him tighter. His blush burned hotter. He was never coming down.

“Is that not normal?” The librarian asked worriedly, glancing up at Steven. Even this close she was a head shorter than him, her head tilted back to see his expression clearly.

He wouldn’t meet her eye now, “Last time I turned pink it was because I lost control of my anger. I don't feel that way now though so don't worry.”

She hummed next to him, “Oh, so you’re the incredible Hulk, huh?”

Steven smirked, “I know you’re making fun of me but all I heard was you call me incredible.”

It was the librarian’s turn to blush now.

“Ugh Steven I’m calling the Gems!” Connie yelled up at him, fishing out her cell phone. “Hello, Pearl?”

Steven felt a slight tap at the top of his skull. They’d hit the ceiling.

“You’re sure we’re not going to plummet to our deaths?” She asked nervously. Steven curled his fingers into her side slightly, tightening his hold. He liked this, feeling her against him. He hadn’t had someone cling to him like this, held someone like this in what felt like ever.

“You’re safe with me.” He murmured into the top of her hair. “Trust me.”

She tipped her head back and stared up at him, contemplating, “You know what’s crazy? I do.”

And she smiled at him. It was a dazzling smile that made his gem glow. She gasped, staring downward at the pink light. He felt her fingers grip the edge of his shirt. She looked up at him quickly and he made no move to stop her so she lifted it. The pink stone where his belly button would be was flat with facets. Hands full, she wanted to touch it but knew that may be pushing her luck.

“What’s with the glow?” She asked, head tilting curiously.

Steven avoided her gaze but his eyes brightened, eyes falling on the sky light.

“Pearl and the others are on their way!” Connie called up to him.

“I know you said you’re thankful we’re indoors but how would you like to change that?” He asked, a devious smile forming. He did not want to come down and it was likely the Gems would figure out a way to make him. At the very least they’d find a way to get her away from him and down to solid ground.

“Typically I avoid floating out into the city with strange men I’ve just met.”

“Ah but what about half Gems?” Steven asked, waggling a brow at her. She laughed, that wonderful sound again that made him feel lighter. He didn’t want this feeling to end.

“Oh, well when you put it like that…” she trailed, amusement apparent. He popped the latch and pushed the window open one handed. Her grip loosened and he slipped upward and through the opening, just barely manipulating his broad shoulders through.

She hesitated however, “You’re sure we won’t just…keep floating upwards forever and suffocate in the atmosphere?”

“I’ve floated into space before. I can bubble us…erm magical barrier us.. if we get that far.”

He could sense her apprehension and pressed, “Sort of hope we do though. The view is incredible.”

The stars were back in her eyes again as she grinned at him. She maneuvered her way through the window after him and he pulled her up through the roof and into his grip once more. He heard her gasp as she floated there on the roof, the sunset an amalgam of pink, blues, purples across the rooftops of Beach City.

“This is beautiful.” She breathed. “Hard to believe the space view gets better than this.”

“Believe it.” He assured her with confidence. He twirled her, much like a dancer would, spinning her out to face the setting sun. Her feet treaded the air instead of standing on his toes and she let out a breathless laugh, exhilarated. She could see the boardwalk, the familiar four streets or so that made up the town. Up ahead on the temple cliff, the lighthouse light flickered on.

They were moving forward now, feet spring stepping off shingles before cycling through the air. He kept his arms around her, letting her float between his hands. Together they pushed off the top of the Big Donut.

“I’m impressed. You haven’t panicked once.” He commented in her ear. His voice made her shudder and she turned, catching his eye.

“I seem to be in good hands.” She murmured, flushing slightly. Steven felt a certain smugness fill him at her compliment. There was a pause and she admitted, “It also doesn’t hurt I’ve seen _Niyazaki’s Moving Mansion_ at least a dozen times.” They were floating up towards the lighthouse now.

“Good movie, but if we’re talking magical flying… I liked the one with the rooftop chimney sweep musical number more.”

“Oh, just a music fan or are you a musician?” She asked lightly over her shoulder.

“Dad’s the musician. He taught me some things here or there. I could play for you some time. If you want.” He added hastily.

“Steven!” He could hear Garnet yelling at him from below and he nearly groaned. She was beneath their feet, Pearl not far behind with Amethyst and Connie bringing up the rear.

“Is that the Gems?” He heard her ask.

“Yup. They ah.. Pretty much raised me. Along with my dad.” He stated sheepishly.

“I would love to meet your space moms.” The librarian grinned at him. Steven scowled.

“Guys, we’re fine!” Steven yelled down at them.

“Let her down already, Steven!” Pearl yelled up at him “That girl could get hurt!”

Steven rolled his eyes and the librarian laughed.

“I’m fine, miss, but thank you for worrying! Steven’s got me.” She assured them. They were approaching the cliff side and they bounded up, her feet briefly skimming the lighthouse banister. They hovered there for a moment.

“Is she right, could you let me down?” She asked, looking back at him.

“I could.” He mussed. A sulk appeared slowly, “Don’t really want to though.”

Her eyes narrowed, “I thought you didn’t have control over this.”

Steven had the decency to at least appear a little guilty, “I told Connie I’d get a grip eventually and I did. Back when we got on the roof. But you were having such a good time and I just wanted to talk to you without anyone else around.”

Her lips quirked, giving away nothing, “Your friends are worried about you, you know.”

“I know but we are safe and I barely know anything about you.” Her feet were balanced on the iron railing now and he hovered in front of her, still holding her hands.

“You don’t have to make them worry just to get to know me, Universe. I believe you said you’d play me song at some point. This may shock you but I also have a bunch of questions I want to ask you after all this.” She gestured to his floating self with a point of her chin and he laughed. “So I guess I’ll just have to see you again.”

“It’s a date.” He murmured, pulling her hand close, lips grazing her knuckles. He admired how red she turned, her face its own mini sun. He eased her down further, past the banisters and onto the solid ground of the lighthouse balcony.

From the ground he heard shouts of, “Steven!”

With a wink he disappeared, floating down from her view. Out of sight, she felt her body relax, legs giving out beneath her as she collapsed in a heap.

She was going on a date with a magical boy. She was in trouble.

She slowly found her footing, making her way to the lighthouse door on shaky legs. She turned the knob. It was locked. She let out a groan. She was in more trouble.

* * *

Two hours and an awkward conversation about how she had come to be locked on the terrace of a neckbeard named Ronaldo’s secret base, the librarian was hustling back across town and to the library.

What the hell had she been thinking? She was raised better than this. She didn’t abandon work to go moon over a hot guy, even he did have amazing magical powers.

And make no mistake about it, Steven Universe was _hot_. She had no idea how she’d missed _that_ in all the Gem news coverage the last several years. He was tall, broad shouldered, with soft brown eyes and dark curly hair. That is, when he wasn’t flashing completely pink from head to toe. His skin, his hair, his eyes, everything had turned a rosy magenta. When that happened, he’d gotten even more broad, even more muscled and taller. With a frustrated groan, she realized she was still blushing.

A date. A date… with Steven Universe.

Why did she agree to that? She didn’t date!

She reached up, patting her own curls to make sure they were behaving in her updo as she barged through the library doors, nudging them open with a bop of her right hip.

No sooner had her foot crossed the threshold than a sharp tone shot out her name.

“Mayor Nanefua!” She panicked, “I… You.. Uh. Hi?” She settled on.

There was no worse feeling than being caught slacking off by your boss. At a generous four feet, Mayor Nanefua was the matron of Fishstew Pizza, the Mayor of Beach City, and, to the librarian's chagrin, mad as all hell.

“Young lady! I did not hire you to go traipsing about Beach City. During business hours I expect you to be here!” There it was. The wagging finger.

She cringed, looking away from the imposing tiny form of the Mayor. She hung her head a bit, unable to bring herself to make eye contact.

“Leaving the building unattended! Your uncle would-“

The doors burst open behind her. “Sorry Mayor Nanefua! That was sort of my fault.” A deep voice at her back interrupted cheerfully.

She looked over her shoulder, unable to hide her surprise at seeing Steven Universe again so soon.

“Steven! Of course you were involved in this. Young man, stop stealing my staff!” She pointed at him accusatory. He held his hands up good naturedly, smiling.

“I’m sorry! It was a Gem thing. We weren’t gone very long and as you can see no harm was done. It won’t happen again.” He assured her.

Nanefua narrowed her eyes at them and then jerked a thumb over at the circulation desk.

Half of Beach City was milling around in a line, books in hand for check out. A cart was brimming with returns to be sorted. Two crates of new titles sat waiting to be labeled and filed. And the library was scheduled to close in an hour.

“Okay maybe some harm done.” The librarian stated, panic apparent. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“No worries, Mayor. I’ll make it up to you in free labor. I’ll help her. If you could use it?” He offered, looking down at her now. She stared up at him, grateful tears welling. Who was this wonderful man? She gave him a stiff nod, unable to speak.

She turned to check with Mayor Nanefua only for her to be breezing past the two of them. She patted Steven’s arm affectionately.

“You are such a good boy.” She sighed. And then she was gone.

“I… You came back?” The librarian asked, confusion apparent. Steven had endured a lengthy chewing out by the Gems but he had tuned out most of it. He'd been dreamily trying to imagine a first date when he realized jumping off of a lighthouse without getting his date’s number or address presented several critical problems to his plan. One panic later and Connie had come up with a completely reasonable plan of attack.

“Turns out I left the Dondai here? Also Pearl has two boxes of Gem literature for the exchange program I need to offload.” _Also it's only been two hours but I wanted to see you again._

The librarian groaned, pinching her nose bridge underneath her frames. Make that four boxes for intake.

“We’re supposed to close in an hour. There’s no way.”

“Miss, are you the librarian? I’ve been waiting for over an hour.” A man in line asked accusingly.

Steven led her to the circulation desk, guiding her through the chaos by the elbow, “It’s not just me. Connie’s not far behind me and the Gems… well I’m sure they won’t mind. Just tell me what you need.” He tended to go with a delayed entourage whenever he bailed mid Gem lecture.

Fifteen minutes later and the library was a bustle of activity. Pearl was on shelving duty, a quick skim of the Dewey decimal system all she needed. _Steven, you never told me humans had a organization method for books. Such numerical efficiency!_ The absolute bliss on her face at getting to organize worried Steven that this was not a one time job for her. Garnet was directing foot traffic and answering questions. It turns out half the reason Buddwick was suddenly so busy was busybodies.

“Is it true -“

“The librarian is back. Yes, she did float through town. Yes, we do take book requests. Yes, even that kind of book.”

“Oh.”

The Future Vision helped.

Amethyst was helping by snoring loudly in the children’s section.

Connie was on checkout duty, scanning out the residents with rapid precision.

That left the four boxes of intake for Steven and the librarian. She scanned them, assigned the genre and decimal while Steven clear wrapped them and added the stamp card to the inner front. He added them in a growing stack on a rolling cart for shelving. He was thrilled for several reasons about this. Firstly, he was helping someone. Crisis solving was undeniably one of his best skills. Secondly, he was helping her.

“You really didn’t have to do this.” She was saying next to him, gratitude apparent.

“It’s no big deal.” He grinned, all boyish charm, “Besides it gives me more time with you.”

She blushed at this, her eyes locked straight ahead as she scanned. He was physically standing right next to her, unable to keep himself from gravitating into her orbit. He was currently trying to place her perfume, a mix of gardenias? Lilac?

“Well I’m sure you had better things to do today than this.” She shrugged, as she continued to scan at the computer. Steven was secretly pleased as it gave him a chance to study her out of the corner of his eye unnoticed.

“Not really. I’m… Sort of in a weird place right now.” He admitted. “Still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and all that.”

“Aren’t we all?” She commiserated dryly.

“You seem to have it down. Library sciences? Connie says you’re even writing a book.”

Another blush at this as she passed off the book to him. It blended with the freckles across her nose, a rather fetching shade of red. He could not in fact, be more wrong. She had nothing ‘down’ and was actually a giant mess under a shiny veneer of imposter syndrome.

“Did she?” She muttered grumpily. Steven froze, seeing her discomfort.

“Oh I didn’t mean-“

The librarian sighed, “I’d like to. Just haven’t figured out what to write about. I came out to Beach City hoping to find inspiration.” She frowned at this. Steven hated it.

“You’ll find it. You’d be surprised how many people find themselves here. The odds are in your favor.” The frown lessened slightly but didn't disappear.

“But you haven’t?” She asked curiously.

“I… It’s complicated. I like the idea of helping with Little Homeworld. It’s important work. Gems come from a traditionally caste system so breaking that mold and unlearning those built in preconceptions… It’s rewarding to be a part of that. I just have to limit my involvement or it overtakes me. I threw myself into it as a teen and it.. It was really unhealthy.” He admitted.

“Seeing so many people figure out their calling when you’re struggling with it yourself must have been hard.” She murmured.

“I was happy for them but… Yeah, honestly it was.” He admitted, surprised she had picked up on something he had privately thought but been afraid to say. He swallowed thickly, unwilling to stay on the topic for longer, “So why Beach City?”

“Oh. Well it’s gorgeous for one. Decent cost of living. My folks live in Empire City so not too far away but far enough for some room to breathe. And well… I was found here.” She admitted quietly.

“Found?” He asked.

She nodded curtly, “On the south beach as a baby. Or so my Dad’s told me. I was adopted.” It had been an epic blow out, her decision to move to Beach City. She had called to tell her parents she had settled in after the move. But picking up the phone again after that… It was too hard.

“And you don’t know where you came from?” He asked.

She shook her head, bottom lip pursing. “It’s fine. I mean… It doesn’t matter. My parents love me. I’m curious, but the odds of me figuring out my past… Well, it doesn’t change anything.” She knew that bit was true. Being here was enough. Her parents, even if they were fighting, were enough.

“Hm… Maybe the Gems know something? They’ve been around for a couple thousand years.”

Next to him, the librarian choked. “I’m sorry, they’ve _what_?” She guffawed, chancing a glance across the library at Amethyst who was still passed out.

A child had a marker out and was doodling a monocle and a curly mustache on her face.

“Uh… They’re kind of immortal beings.” He stated slowly.

“How old are you again, exactly?” She asked him, looking at him in abject horror.

“Not that old! I’m only twenty-four. Half Gem.” He assured her, amused.

Her shoulders drooped in relief, “Oh thank heavens. I’m twenty three.”

“What, you thought I was some creepy old man in disguise?” He laughed, eyebrow raised.

She smirked, playfully bumping him “You’re still a year older than me, gramps.”

Steven huffed, cheeks puffing in frustration. Next to him she paused, brows furrowing.

“I can’t read this to file it. Do you read Gemspeak?” She asked, holding up the top book from Pearl’s box. It was covered in gold filagree and was several inches thick.

“ _The Rise and Record of the Great Diamond Authority_.” Steven read aloud. The librarian tilted her head, noticing his expression of distaste. He took it from her, thumbing the pages. It only took a few before he found the illustrations in yellow, blue, white, and pink. He turned to the page, Pink Diamond a feminine Gem in a puffy outfit, stretched up, Earth in her hand.

“That’s Mom.” He said quietly, turning the book so she could see. “She gave up her physical form for me. I have her gem.”

She thought back to the rosy pink hue he seemed to glow when they first met, his comments on the caste of Gems, the book title. _Oh_. “Pink Diamond. So I guess that makes you intergalactic royalty?”

Steven snorted, “Absolutely not.” His cheeks were tinged pink.

“Should I be calling you Your Highness, or something?” She asked, her smile growing. She cocked her head. Connie bounded up to them, collapsing in the swivel chair next to Steven with a sigh.

“Finished!” She exclaimed in relief. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Oh not much. Steven was just casually telling me he’s a space prince.” The librarian answered immediately. Steven groaned, hearing Connie snicker.

“It’s a hollow appointment. I have no official duties as a Diamond. It is not like that.” He grumbled. He carefully ignored the two, beginning to pick through Pearl’s box and sort through the titles.

“Oh please, don’t let him lie to you. He’s still on their council. And Yellow, Blue, and White adore him. They seek his advice on just about everything. He’s totally space royalty.” Connie confirmed, waggling her eyebrow at the two.

“Ah, not so footloose and fancy free then, Princeling?” The librarian teased.

“Connie is exaggerating. They don’t ask for advice on everything.” He pouted, flushing.

“I guess I should be showing the proper respect. Not every day a space prince helps out with my workload. Is there some incredibly pompous fancy title I should be using?” The librarian asked, shooting a sideways glance at Connie for answers.

Connie’s expression was full of mischief, “It’s just Pink Diamond but if you wanted to get technical, all the Homeworld Gems refer to him as ‘My Diamond.’” Connie gave the title gravely, with an air of gravitas.

Steven heard the term and winced. He didn't get why the Diamonds used that expression. So many Gems refused to see him for who he was, as Steven. It felt even stranger to hear humans use it. Those worlds were so separate. It didn’t bother him to hear Connie say it, she knew how he felt about it. And after all it was just a title. If he was honest he was a little curious how hearing the librarian say it would make him feel.

“Just Steven is more than fine!” Steven countered quickly, determined not to look at her. Why did he feel so restless?

She laughed, “Just Steven it is then, My Diamond.”

It was as if the breath was knocked from his lungs with the sudden force of a punch to the gut. He felt hot, all over.

_My Diamond._

The book he was holding clattered to the floor and the pink hue flooded his form. He reached out, gripping her wrist. He didn’t want her to run.

“Steven!” Connie yelled out in warning. The librarian’s eyes had gone as wide as saucer plates at the sudden light-switch flip of his transformation. The Gems were also calling out his name, tasks abandoned as they made their way to the front desk in a blink. He bubbled himself and the librarian without hesitation, determined not to be interrupted.

“I’m... I’m sorry.” She breathed, unsure of what to say. She was certainly startled. Especially by the pink translucent barrier. But she wasn’t afraid. He’d gotten taller and she tipped her head back to stare at him.

“Say it again.” Steven was relieved he'd said it without begging.

To her ear, it teetered on a command.

“I’m sorry?” She repeated, concern growing. Maybe she had crossed a line.

“No.”

“Steven?” She questioned.

“No.”

She paused and Steven felt himself shut everything out, focusing on her red lips. So plush, so nervous. He wanted to watch them form the words. He had no idea those two words could bring him anything other than dread.

“My Diamond.” She breathed and his eyes glowed pink. They sounded like smoke, curling through his chest. He wanted her, her loyalty, to hear those words in every emotion, every variation they could possibly be said. He wanted to lock her away somewhere only he could find her. To have her touch him and draw that title out of her lips however he could. He inhaled sharply, forcing himself to not do what every cell of his body was screaming at him to do.

“Your Diamond?” He questioned slowly, testing the sound aloud as he released her wrist. The curl from earlier had freed itself from behind her ear. He hummed, reaching up and tucking it back in place, fingertips brushing at her neck behind the shell of her ear in the process.

An open shudder tore down her spine. The look he was giving her positively burned, a pang of heat shooting through her.

There was a gleam in his eye, gaze locked on hers, “We’ll see about that, won’t we?”

* * *

Steven, freshly back to human and face first in his pillow, let out a sustained embarrassed groan at the memory. He'd been so out of his mind it was like the words had left his body like some hyped up Casanova on overdrive. He’d transformed back, dropped the bubble, took one look at her and the Gems, and high tailed it out of there.

Next to him his familiar ringtone chirped. _Do do, dodo, do._ Connie’s face was on the screen.

With the way he’d panicked and ran, he knew he probably worried her. He’d gotten another lecture from the Gems. Steven readily admitted this one had more merit.

_Do do, dodo, do._

He’d call Connie back later. He knew it was his own issues, his own control.

But just thinking of hearing the librarian’s voice say those words. _My Diamond._ He groaned and flushed pink. He knew without a doubt this wasn't _rage_. This was _want_. He wanted her so very badly his Diamond side was going haywire.

He wasn't like this. He didn't want people, want control over people. She was her own person. He was his own person just as she wasn't… His.

He shuddered, the clench of heat low, around his Gem at the thought. He wanted nothing more than to drive the librarian mad, as mad as she was making him feel. To wrap himself around her until she was weak with pleasure and could only call out for him until she was hoarse and he made it true. _My Diamond. My Diamond. My Diamond!_

No! That wasn't… He wouldn't …

He flooded back to his normal color and huffed at his phone. He couldn’t bring himself to answer. This was all Connie’s fault anyway.


	2. Pearl, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter ended up being 30 pages because I got way too carried away in the second half, not gonna lie. I've split it into two parts because I'm the absolute worst. 
> 
> If I had to pick a favorite Crystal Gem, it'd be Pearl. Expect to see more of everyone's awkward bird mom in the future.

* * *

He wasn’t going to admit that he had a fight with the Gems, per se. It was definitely _not_ a fight. The fact that there was raised voices and a difference of opinion did not a fight make.

He wasn’t an angsty teen so subjectively, part of him knew that their concern was coming from a place of love. However, he was also, once again, _not an angsty teen!_

So Pearl saying _I don’t want you seeing that girl again_ had gone over about as well as to be expected.

There may have been some shouting. He wasn’t exactly proud of that.

Amethyst was also no help. _You did kind of wig out around her twice, dude._

The only ally to be found was Garnet. _Steven is an adult, Pearl. I trust him._

Needless to say Pearl and Garnet were not speaking at the moment. Steven ruffled his curls in frustration and reminded himself that Pearl and Garnet’s relationship was as Dr. Bright put it, _not his fight._

He was old enough to not need the Gems’ approval to date. It didn’t mean he didn’t want it anyway.

Scowling he flipped the cassette over and pushed it back into the slot in the Dondai. The day was bright as he drove the winding seascape roads to Little Homeschool but that didn’t stop the clouds looming in his mood.

He stole a glance at his phone for what felt like the hundredth time that day. By some miracle, the librarian had still wanted to go on a date even though he had gone, as she referred to it, _all Tarzan on her with the ‘My Diamond’ thing_.

His mouth still went dry whenever he thought about it.

He tried not to think about.

He thought about it a lot.

They had been texting. He couldn’t stop. It was a flurry of typing, text alerts, and goofy smiles at his phone. He'd learned a lot through this flow of information. Her love of old movies and obscure sci-fi, of manga, and that the only thing she ever stole was a pack of gum when she was seven and she cried so hard her Dad made her return it.

He told her about his childhood, storied thing that it was. But also about the albums of the bands he wanted to see live if he was from a different era, how he was not a big fan of horror movies because of the jump scares, and his strong opinion that mint chocolate chip reigned supreme as an ice cream flavor.

They talked about everything, anything, about nothing.

Their first date was scheduled for tonight and he did not want to mess this up. Steven was still racking his brain trying to think up something that would top rooftop skipping at sundown. It had to be perfect. It had to be amazing.

He called Garnet.

“Hello Steven.” She answered before the first ring even completed.

“Hi Garnet, I’m sure you already know why I’m calling…” He trailed.

All their calls began this way. _I’m sure you already know why I’m calling_ was as ingrained as _hello_.

“Steven, I can’t tell you what to do for your date.” There was a practiced stiffness in that tone.

“You’re with Pearl, aren't you?” He surmised sourly.

“Yes.”

He groaned.

“Garnet! I know she’s mad but… I really don’t want to mess this up. If you can’t give me advice can you give me… Not-Advice?” He asked slowly. “You know… For deniability.”

“Hm…” The sage voice mused over the phone. “I am not giving you advice. I would not advise you to give Peridot a call after this. She absolutely has not perfected the next generation spaceship to where you would be able to fly it. With light speed, at around 21:00 Earth Standard Time you absolutely would not be able to see a supernova of Centari. Those not-coordinates would be-“

Steven swerved across the road as he scrambled for a pen to scribble on the back of a fast food receipt. There was much honking of horns and general chaos. In his defense, he never went to driving school.

“Thanks Garnet! Love you, bye!” He exclaimed hurriedly, hanging up in a panic. He’d made it to the side of the road and parked, nerves settling.

Call ended with Garnet, he could see several texts he’d missed:

**[evieoconnell]**

_Seriously Steven this place is a mini Empire City._

_Maps! Come on! Even malls have maps!_

_Crap, did you say left or right at the warp?_

_I really should have taken you up on that Little Homeworld tour. I drove around for longer than I care to admit._

**[brucebanner]**

_You’re at Little Homeworld right now?_

_**[evieoconnell]** _

_Yeah! Human book drop off for the cultural exchange._

_Will I see you?_

_**[brucebanner]** _

_If you know where to look. :)_

_…If I know where to look. Where are you again, exactly?_

**[evieoconnell]**

_I’ll say it again: this place is a maze. Pearl says it’s called the Learning Amphitheater?_

_**[brucebanner]** _

_You’re with Pearl???_

_**[evieoconnell]** _

_Yeah. Glyph questions. Garnet just bailed. Does she always grin like that when you call??_

Steven felt the dread slide down his spine as he immediately shot off the curb, gunning his way for Little Homeschool. He knew it was a gamble if Pearl was talking to her that he’d even have a date tonight, but he dialed Peridot anyway.

“Hey Peridot! So listen, I was talking to Garnet and she says you’ve got a ship I could fly…”

* * *

The glyph question wasn’t a total lie. She really did have questions on them for Pearl.

But it was less a singular question and more of a _teach me your entire language so I can read all of the things_ conversation. She couldn’t help it. She was a bookworm after all. And nothing made her want to read something more than being told she couldn’t or it was banned.

The librarian wrinkled her brow as she once again handed her unofficial homework practice sheets over to the pale Gem. She hadn’t been attempting to learn Gemspeak for very long. But she had a lot of down time at her job for studying and the language was so pretty on paper.

“Hm… Your line work is improving?” Pearl stated awkwardly, the sort of observation that was more to be polite than anything else. The librarian groaned.

“That bad, huh?” She sighed.

“Are you sure you want to read, write, and speak in our language? I’m not even sure the human voice is vocally capable of the full range needed to…” Pearl trailed off.

“The speaking thing is less important. I just want to read.” She interrupted, determined.

“Stubborn, are we? Well, if you’re sure…” Pearl launched into a dizzying lesson that left the librarian’s head spinning and aching. It wasn’t as if they were building off of a common alphabet even. It was a complete deconstruction of the language. Trying to compare it back to the human word just made her more confused. There was no one to one.

If she had to explain it though, Gemspeak was almost like humming. It was a drone of sound with every note a word. Every lilt or cant to the note, the speed, the intonation, it all would change the meaning. It gave her a headache when she tried for too long to focus on it.

“I am terrible.” The librarian groaned, “It’s so different. How did you even learn English?”

“You hear what I want you to hear. I’ve been told frequency hopping can give humans a headache.” Pearl stated with a shrug. The librarian’s mouth hung open, a perfect ‘oh’ of surprise. She was equal parts fascinated and perturbed.

“Thats… unsettling. Like mind control?”

Pearl let out a laugh, sounding a bit manic, “No, no! Not like mind control. It’s just perception. If I had mind control powers… Well, you wouldn’t be dating Steven, that’s for sure.” She said it so cavalierly, so matter of fact, it could be nothing else than genuine.

 _Ah._ The librarians cheeks colored and Pearl had the decency to look a bit taken aback that she’d actually rambled full speed ahead into an uncomfortable truth. Pearl flushed blue, unable to make eye contact.

“I suppose you think the pink episodes were my fault.” She tried her best not to sound hurt.

“Well… You’re certainly the common factor in this. You have to understand, it's nothing personal. You’re sweet and I enjoy… Well whatever this is we’re doing. You’re lovely for a human. But I love Steven. We just got him back a few years ago and well…”

That made sense. She had heard of the Summer Where It All Went Wrong, sort of. It was more in what Steven had _not_ said about that period of time than what he had. Connie had filled in some of the gaps.

As if being summoned, Steven Universe was running toward the Learning Amphitheater at a breakneck speed. He skidded to a halt in the doorway, expecting to see either a fight or the librarian in tears.

Instead it was Pearl who looked like she’d been through the ringer, fidgeting awkwardly. “I’m not going to take him away from you, Pearl.”

Pearl looked up, startled at this. “I… I never said…”

“I know.”

She sighed, “And I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to hear but… I really like Steven. I don’t want to leave him alone. If it turns out whatever is happening to him is my fault, I’ll tell him and we’ll figure it out together. Part of the reason I asked you to teach me Gemspeak is so I could read your culture’s books and see if there’s an explanation.”

“That’s…very sensible of you.” Pearl admitted. “But Steven is unique. There’s never been a half-Gem, half-human hybrid before. I don’t know how much good reading will do you.”

“It’s okay. Will you keep teaching me anyway?” She asked, half shrugging. “If not for Steven... just for fun?”

“Sure.” Pearl smiled. A loud sniff drew both their attention to the doorway where Steven Universe was standing watery eyed with a giant grin. He was fairly sure Pearl was still not convinced but the librarian was finding common ground with her. She hadn't turned tail just because Pearl didn't approve.

“Steven!” Pearl exclaimed, happy to see him.

“How long have you been standing there?” The librarian gulped, visibly nervous. A pretty blush spread across her cheeks. _I don't want to leave him alone._ It repeated mockingly in her head.

“Long enough to hear you’re learning Gemspeak.” Steven stated, eyebrows raised.

“It’s so hard.” The librarian visibly deflated, “Pearl is an awesome teacher though.”

Pearl lit up at this, blushing blue demurely. “Well I… I wouldn’t say that.”

“I would.” Steven chirped, taking a seat on a bleacher nearest the two. “I told you Pearl was my teacher growing up, didn’t I?”

“Why do you think I asked her?” She smiled.

“She’s doing well. It’s tricky phonetically for humans. You remember.” Pearl prompted him and Steven frowned. Pearl would bring up that embarrassing episode.

“Don’t remind me. Didn’t I shatter a window?”

“That is not the worst thing Greg’s van has been through.” Pearl shrugged. If she hadn’t rebuilt the vehicle from the axels up herself twice, she would be convinced Steven’s healing powers extended to vans.

“Voice based property damage, Universe? Isn't that reserved for opera sopranos?”

“Hm, well I’d like to hear you do better. I believe a demonstration is in order.” Steven stated, leaning back in a lounge. His elbows propped on either chair at his side, highlighting his large biceps in a way the librarian found incredibly distracting for an institution of learning.

“No way! Too embarrassing. I’ll make you eardrums bleed.” She protested. Pearl shook her head, amused.

“What’s she taught you so far?” Steven asked, refusing to let it go.

“Just the fealty oath.”

Looking back on this moment, Steven decided that this was Pearl’s fault. Of course, the first thing Pearl taught was not how to speak names or give an age or occupation. Such things were not in a Pearl’s lexicon. They were all default.

“Well let’s hear it.” Steven grinned. She glared at him, chancing a glance at Pearl.

“Oh go on. You know he won’t give it a rest until you do.” The librarian took a deep breath and opened her mouth. The husky cadence of her voice reminded him of a comforting folk songs and temptation. She had an undeniable human accent but it was charming, giving the tones a reedy tilt. Loosely translated, what Steven heard was:

> _Each thought of you fills me with sweet emotion;_
> 
> _I give to you my deepest devotion._
> 
> _My fondest wishes to be yours completely fill;_
> 
> _I belong to you totally, My Diamond, and always will._

It was a seductive sound, a siren’s call. He felt the fight for control overwhelm from him the moment her Gemspeak reached him. She spoke things he hadn’t realized he yearned to hear until that moment.

He was entirely pink by the time she’d finished the verse, staring at her with an open hunger and diamond pupils. She had called him My Diamond, gave herself entirely to him.

The fantasy grew. She was his to possess. He wanted her to speak to him in Gemspeak. _My Diamond._ He wanted everyone to hear her pledge and also no one. He wanted to hear it again, in the dark, beneath him… He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“Pearl… Give us a minute.” He rasped, vaguely aware the other Gem was there.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Steven…” Pearl trailed, apprehensive. Steven ripped his gaze away from the librarian long enough to shake the embers off his fantasy free and stare at Pearl. Pearl seemed tense, a hair's breadth away from summoning her spear. 

“I’m not going to hurt her.” He looked as if the idea offended him, “I just want to talk. Alone.”

Oh, he wanted to talk. But only for starters.

“Not like this you’re not.” Pearl said stubbornly, arms raising out like a wall as she stepped in between him and his goal.

“Pearl…” Steven warned her, taking a step forward. Immediately the librarian moved, slipping around Pearl and up between the two of them. She reached a hand up, resting it on Steven’s chest, fingers spread wide as if to push him back. _How amusing._

“It’s okay, Pearl. I… I’ll be fine. It’s just talking.” She assured her with a small smile.

Pearl glanced between the two and sighed, “Five minutes. But I’m waiting just up the stairs.”

She turned and the two watched the Gem retreat. She had barely cleared the half way mark before the librarian heard the rumble of his voice at her back.

“That was an impressive display.” He murmured. “I liked it more than I care to admit.”

“Convincing Pearl… Or the Gemspeak?” She asked shakily, staring up at him. She tried desperately not to lose her nerve. Steven was just so… big.

Pink, he doubled in size, dwarfing her. At just over six foot in his human form, now he edged closer to seven. He was built like a linebacker in his natural state but now… His musculature was apparent, the thick cut of his biceps and the breadth of his chest underscored through the sudden extreme tightness of his star t-shirt.

“Both.”

“Who... Who are you? You don’t act like Steven.” She asked hesitantly, feeling silly. She knew it was Steven but… The way he carried himself, the confidence and arrogance that seemed to ooze through every word, every move that he made…

There was none of the quiet kindness, the sweet sincerity, the charming shy mannerisms of the Steven Universe she was getting to know.

“Oh I assure you…I am more like Steven than he wants to admit. We are both very intrigued by you.” There was a cunning, a slyness in this voice. She could swear it was deeper, rumbling against her at frequency she couldn’t hear but could sense like it was touching her.

“So you are different people. What are you?” She asked. He circled her like a predator, doing nothing to calm her unease.

His gaze looked her up and down with thinly veiled appreciation, surveying her, his first subject. Steven had thought her beautiful earlier and she was indeed fair to look at. All that hair of hers was everywhere, a wild thing that seemed to have a will of its own. Her sea foam green dress molded to her shape, flaring out at the waist before stopping half way below the knee.

“We are both Steven. He’s still here. I’m just running the show.” He confirmed absently.

“You’re… his Diamond half. You’re Pink Diamond.” She stated, open wonder in her face.

“Correct in one. Such a clever thing you are, little pet.” His eyes seemed to sparkle, pleased she had distinguished them apart.

He was still Steven, would respond to Steven. But this was him as a Gem. No human insecurities or social niceties. He was who Steven tried to suppress, all of the confidence as well as the selfish desires.

Speaking of desires, he reached out to grab her but she moved out of his reach.

“I am not your pet.” She told him sternly with a fire that made him smile slowly.

“Call it whatever you want. You are mine.” Pink Diamond stated patronizingly, with a tilt to his lips that dared her to defy him. He moved for her again. The librarian however, was not one be cowed.

“I don’t think so.” She stated, dancing again out of his reach.

He laughed, “It's much too late for that. You said an oath.” He was growing tired of these games. In a blur of an eye he grabbed her, taking her by the upper arms and drawing her against him. She squirmed, refusing to look him in the eyes.

“I was repeating…” she protested weakly, realization dawning.

The fealty oath! This was all because of that damn fealty oath...

He smirked victoriously and buried his nose in her hair. It was half twisted in a knot on the back of her head, half flowing free like water through his fingers as he watched her fall apart at the realization of what she had done.

He expected her to wilt into him, to laud him as Her Diamond.

What he heard instead was a shaky, “I did not specify to which Diamond.”

He frowned, displeased she was still protesting.

“You said it in my presence, you as good as.”

He twisted his fingers in her hair, enthralled with how smooth it ran over and through his hand. Steven Universe had fantasized about doing exactly this but never thought he would get the nerve. Pink Diamond indulged himself for the both of them now.

“Do other Diamonds not witness these oaths? That doesn’t mean anything.” She stated, lifting her chin brazenly. _This willful…_ He stifled a grunt of frustration.

“And who else but me would you call Your Diamond? You have not met the others and I saw you first.” His tone trailed into a fierceness, anger flaring like a petulant child. His fingers in her hair twined into a fist.

“I don’t know I feel like Blue and I would get on rather well…” She surveyed him coyly, beneath her lashes.

“Stop this nonsense and speak your oath again to me.” He demanded, tugging her closer to him. He did not release her hair, gaze burning deep into her own.

“No. I don’t belong to anyone, least of all you. You are not Steven.” She stated evenly. Her only tell of nervousness was a slight tremble under his grip.

Instead of anger, there was the low rumble of laughter. Pink Diamond released his grasp of her hair, letting it tumble free.

His fingers raised to her jaw, fingertips brushing the line coaxingly, “Oh but I am. As much as he tries to fight it he wants this _just_ as badly as I do. He’s not the gentleman you seem to think he is. You should see some of his thoughts. The things he’s been dying to do to you as soon as he set eyes on you…” His voice hung low, whispering it like a confession hot against her mouth.

He could feel her weakening, her eyes hooded under his attention. He moved towards her lips and she let out a weak whine of protest, hands writhing between a twisted pull and a push at his shoulders, “I’ll scream. Pearl will be down here in seconds. She already doesn’t trust you like this.”

“Is that supposed to intimidate me? She is hardly a threat.” He murmured.

It was as if a switch had flipped. Her hands became fists pushing at him, the haze extinguished with a fierce, “Don’t you dare hurt Pearl.”

Vexed as he was at having been so close to tasting her and thwarted, he was willing to admit he was impressed at her loyalty.

“I won’t. I am still Steven. But if you think you can hide behind any Gem from me you are not as clever as I took you for.”

She glared at him now, “Insulting me is not going to help your cause.”

“Hm.. Don’t despair, Stardust. I can be patient.” He hummed, wrapping a curl around his finger and tugging playfully.

There was no objection to this new title like there was with pet. He took her lack of reaction as tacit approval and filed it away.

“Somehow I don’t believe you.” She stated wryly. A rumble sounded in his chest as a slow, lazy smirk spread across his features.

“I can also be persuasive. You are not as resistant as you claim to be.” Pink Diamond observed, pleased at how she gave a nearly imperceptible tremble at this. She scowled though, unnerved but rallying.

“And you are not as charming. Let the other Steven back out.”

He released her, scoffing. “Your skills of persuasion, however, could use work.”

“Now.” She demanded sternly, hands moving to her hips.

He huffed, an arrogant sniff that set her teeth on edge. But after a moment he sighed,“Very well. But this is not over, Stardust. You will be mine, one way or another.” He warned her.

She grinned now, repeating his earlier promise, “We’ll see about that.”

Pink Diamond gave way, rushing out and leaving regular Steven Universe in his wake.

He blinked rapidly at her as the librarian raised her hand in a wave to Pearl. The Gem was bounding back down the stairs and appeared next to them, hovering like an anxious mother hen.

“Steven, are you alright?” Pearl asked frantically.

“I’m… fine.” He admitted, glancing over at the librarian. A furious blush erupted across his features as he met her gaze.

“Remember everything?” She asked him with a raised brow. He let out a moan, slapping a hand to his face and willing the ground to swallow him whole.

He nodded, his cheeks exploded in crimson.

“I’m really sorry.” He cringed. It had felt like an out of body experience but he had been there, present for the entire thing. Enamored with the whole thing. He was still flustered just thinking about it… about her.

“What happened?” Pearl asked urgently.

“My Diamond half… It erm… It’s interested in her.” Steven awkwardly explained, looking at everywhere but her. The librarian swallowed thickly, noting with a sinking feeling the absence of a ‘we’ in his statements. The Diamond version had said both. Was that not true?

“Gem stuff seems to set it off. He’s really big on me swearing fealty for some reason.” She mused.

A shudder ran through Steven’s spine at this. _Yes. Yes, please. ...No!_

“No offense…” Pearl began tentatively, “But why you? Steven never reacted that way to Connie or to Greg.”

“None taken.” She mussed dryly. “But I have no idea.”

Silently, Steven noted he’d also never wanted another human the way he did her but he didn’t want to say that aloud to _Pearl_. He rubbed the back of his head slowly.

“It’s not… We’re not violent or angry when we’re in that state. We’d never do anything to harm you. It’s just a weird power trip.” He flushed.

It wasn’t that weird, really. He just wanted her complete submission. _No!_

“That’s comforting.” She stated weakly. “But I'm not pledging my eternal loyalty to a possessive Pink Superman. Even if I'm dating Clark Kent. I've got my own life. No offense.”

“That’s fair.” He conceded, “I’m sorry. Look, if you don’t want to be involved in this anymore…”

She smiled ruefully at him and to his immense relief, snatched up his hand. She gripped it, threading his fingers between hers tightly.

“Hmph. You severely underestimate how much it takes to scare me off, Universe.” She teased.

Pearl let out a laugh, wrapping an arm around Steven in a hug. She wasn’t losing him all over again. This was something they could handle.

“Pearl?” She heard the librarian inquire.

“Yes?”

“It looks like I’ll need more Gemspeak lessons. Anything you have on Gem customs and culture might be helpful as well.” She sighed. The taller gem grinned eagerly. The uncertainty of losing Steven answered, Pearl’s eyes shown in excitement. This human was truly impressive.

Hesitation clouded her though for a moment, “Although I understand if you don’t want a part in this either. Pink Diamond did confirm I’m what’s causing Steven to turn.”

Pearl contemplated this for a moment, eying the two, “I trust Steven.” She said finally, echoing Garnet. Steven sighed, releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“So you’ll help?” The librarian asked cautiously.

Pearl threw her arms around the girl, beaming. She released Steven’s hand, caught in a whirl as the tall Gem unleashed her excitement in a spin “Are you kidding?! I love research!” She gushed, stars in her eyes. “And Gem customs? Well I can tell you everything you need to know! Nobody knows Homeworld better than a Pearl. You’ll need my copies of Facets, I wrote in the margins cause Eisen has a good grasp of the essentials but is also a simpleton. Their history of processions is just…ugh! You should also talk to Bismuth she might have some ideas for gadgets. I know Pink Diamond won’t hurt you but really preparation is key and…”

The librarian threw an amused glance over to Steven who could not stop the melted smile from overtaking his expression at watching Pearl go-all in on the girl. He wanted to talk to her more, so many things still needing to be said between them. But Pearl was already leading her away, talking so animatedly and quickly he knew it would be a lost cause. He sent her a text instead.

_**[brucebanner]** _

_I’ll pick you up at 8?_

_**[evieoconnell]** _

_It’s a date. :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are all weak for Diamond Steven, let's be real. 
> 
> Further credits: The fealty oath is a modified version of a poem by Ali Sabry. Evie O'Connell is a reference to every librarian's patron queen, Rachel Weiss in The Mummy (1999). Bruce Banner is the pseud of Marvel's Hulk.


	3. Pearl, Part II

The librarian checked her thin strapped watch out of paranoia for what felt like the tenth time in the last five minutes. She willed herself not to chew her lipstick off, a shade of mauve that matched her full skirt. Her hair was behaving for once and she opted to leave it down, hoping against the humidity it would stay that way.

By her clock, he was late. It was 8:17. She kept peaking out the window, the clock, the window, in a vicious loop, ever vigilant for the Dondai.

An almighty roar that sounded like a jet engine was parking on top of her meager house had her scrambling outside. She locked the door anyway, despite what felt like its imminent obliteration. She tossed her forearm up, casting a shadow over her eyes as an honest to goodness spaceship landed on her front lawn, er, _beach_.

It was diamond shaped because, _of course it was_ , but smaller than to be expected. A light in the top of it burned magenta and legs appeared, folding itself out of the sides of the craft to set down. A gang plank materialized, shooting down at an angle from a doorway which appeared in the center.

There was a rush of depressurization steam, a hiss, and Steven Universe strolled down the plank, hand in his jeans pocket, whistling.

She burst out laughing, not sure what was weirder, the fact that he’d come to pick her up for a date in a bonafide UFO or how incredibly normal this felt to her.

At her laughter Steven looked up, smile widening as he made his way to her. He’d forgone the star shirt, trading it in for an open yellow button down with a simple white v-neck underneath.

"You look... Wow." He mumbled, eying the way her hair tumbled and the full magenta skirt, the flattering cream blouse. 

“Flatterer. Although you clean up quite well yourself." She waggled an eyebrow and he blushed. 

He was in front of her now and he revealed his second hand, thrusting a single white bloom into her personal space, “I found this for you.”

"Why thank you, sir." she grinned, unable to resist bringing it up to her nose for a sniff. "I'll accept your bribe. Warp speed and you are still late? Honestly, Universe!” She teased, tucking the flower behind her ear with a wink.

Steven's hand twitched for a second before caving, reaching down to give her hair a slow sweep of his fingers, re-situating the flower just so. He smelled strongly of spicy aftershave and something floral.

“Ahw come on! You’re supposed to be too dazzled by the spaceship to notice that.” He grumbled, reluctant to pull his fingers out of her hair but recognizing the demand of polite society to do it anyway.

“Hmmm… Depends. Are we going to space?” She asked, tapping her chin thoughtfully, a cat that ate the canary grin growing.

Steven sighed, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, “I was actually thinking we’d go up the block to Fishstew Pizza-“

She smacked him playfully on the shoulder and he grinned. She leaned forward, rocking on her heels. She began a slow chant. “Space! Space! Space!”

He rolled his eyes, “Get in the spaceship already before I change my mind.”

She let out a whoop that was _definitely_ unladylike date material but she just couldn’t bring herself to care. She darted past him, fast footfalls up the gang plank and into the spacecraft.

“Whoa!” She breathed, stars in her eyes. Everything was hard metal and angles. The design inside was minimalist and sleek. There was a bit of a walkway ahead of them, the ship feeling rather spacious. There was a lone captains chair, holographic panels surrounding it, and a single console.

“This is the best date ever.”

“I’ve been here all of five minutes!” He protested, strolling through the doorway. It rushed closed behind him with a pressurized hiss.

“Best. Date. Ever.” She intoned, stars not leaving her eyes.

“Please tell me you’re not into me just because of my ride.” He teased, settling into the captain seat and beginning to type a sequence into the holopad nearest him off the back of a receipt. She felt her mouth run dry, the position effectively cementing Steven into the role of every sci-fi captain fantasy she’d ever had.

She willed her eyes away from him but failed, mesmerized as he continued to start up the space craft. Every flick of the wrist, every tap of a button. His dark curls fell in his eyes and he quickly brushed them back. She inhaled, needing to focus elsewhere. He chanced a glance up at her, brow furrowing in concern when she didn’t respond instantly.

She swallowed, “Look the raw charisma of the Dondai is an indisputable fact. I did not stand a chance.”

“If that does it for you, I’m never showing you my Dad’s van.”

The spaceship lifted off and she stared at him, shifting awkwardly in the center of his field of vision. She felt a bit like a hula girl bobbling on his intergalactic dashboard. Sensing her discomfort he gestured around himself vaguely.

“It was designed for one person. But um.. Take a seat anywhere, I suppose.” He smiled, it fading as he watched her approach him. She drew closer, slipping around a holograph panel and approaching his seat. He cut his eye to the windshield, knowing they’d be jumping to light speed soon and to steel his nerves.

“This okay? Would I be in your way?” She asked, perching herself next to him on the broad expanse of the right armrest, legs crossing his lap and feet wedging themselves between his left thigh and the chair side. Steven felt his brain stutter.

“Nope.” He breathed, reassuring himself in the face of mauve skirts and bare legs. She was much too precariously perched. The alert buzzed and he forced himself not to think. He grasped her lower legs, tugging them in to pin between his thigh and the seat bucket and pushed her knees forward. With a gasp she slid almost fully into his lap, balancing half on the armrest and half on his entire right side. He wrapped his arm around her waist and hit the button to warp before she could react.

“Hold on.” She slammed backward partially against him and the chair and his fingers curled into her hip. She clung partially to the armrest, her other hand clinging to a fistful of his shirt. It lasted for seconds before they adjusted, barreling straight forward at the speed of light, vortex flashing all around them. He heard her breathy laugh and she relaxed, releasing him.

“That’s some horsepower you’ve got.” She breathed, nervousness apparent.

“We’re fine. Peridot and Pearl taught me everything they know. These Era Three ships are a lot easier to control than the old Pink Diamond ship. It was controlled with pants.”

She laughed again, her head falling back as she smiled at him. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out, fingers dancing around a stray lock of her hair. It was down tonight, a wild tangle of waves. He wrapped the strand around one of his fingers, eyes cutting up to the windshield periodically.

“So where exactly are you taking me other than you know… The Final Frontier.” She asked, settling in against him. He tried not to focus on the fact that so much of her was wrapped around and close to him. It was bliss.

He felt himself nearly turn pink but he fought it back. _Please, not tonight. I want this as me._

“Nope! Surprise.” A pause, “Ugh…Connie warned me you were a Pathist.” He teased.

Her mouth opened, offense apparent, “And what do you have against _Star Path_ other than it’s not scientifically accurate, in your experience?”

He laughed, debating making a joke but then said, “It’s that thing where you can never watch a show when it’s something you do for a living. I do intergalactic politics at least half the time so watching a show about in my down time? No thanks.”

She tilted her head for a moment, considering this before nodding, “Alright fair. I thought you said you didn’t have official Diamond duties?”

“I don’t.” He sighed. “It’s complicated. Connie had it partially right. I sit in on the council, deal with the occasional crisis. The thing is they’ve been holding the council more and more frequently. I’m up to three a week now. That’s not including phone calls. Which,” He fished his phone out of his pocket and flashed to her. The lines of missed calls and texts were multiple already “I’m avoiding tonight.”

“But aren’t they important?” She asked, brows furrowing.

“You’re important.” He shrugged a single shoulder and re-pocketed his phone without even a glance at the notifications.

“Alright, but if we get in a galactic war with some sort of rock army because you’re ignoring calls and trying to get in my pants I will never forgive you for it.” She swore lowly, raising a single finger to his face in warning.

He didn’t even think. He leaned in and nipped her finger lightly, tongue swirling over the tip in a lengthy suck before his lips brushed over the fingertip. He could swear he heard her whimper.

“Hm.” He debated, looking at her from underneath his dark lashes, “Not sure how those Empire City boys operated around you, but I am a Beach City boy and I was raised better.”

Her eyes were like saucers as she stared at him, brain short circuited by the absolute sin.

“Something about that thing your tongue just did and the guitar in the corner has me doubtful, Universe.” Steven felt perverse pride in the fact that she sounded a bit breathless. He was back to twirling a bit of her hair in his fingers again.

“Musicians…” she grumbled.

He raised an eyebrow at this, “I know you’re joking but you should know that I don’t really have a lot of practice at this sort of thing.” He stated directly, knocking the wind out of her sails.

“You’re serious?” She asked, surprised.

“Yeah I uh…” He looked down now, speaking to her hair, unable to look her in the eye.

“I mean I dated Connie but that was it. Neither of us… It felt wrong. We tried, but our relationship wasn’t _that_ , you know? I drove around the country for a few years. Didn’t find anyone. I never experienced that spark everyone talks about. I mean, not until I met you, anyway.”

“You’re sure you’re new at this? Cause that’s some line.” She breathed and he chanced a glance upwards. She opened her mouth to ask how much of him was Steven Universe versus Pink Diamond that felt that way. But the ship’s alarm cut her off.

“We’re here.” He smiled, flipping two switches and tapping screens. His excitement was apparent. The ship gave a shudder, dropping. She gasped, feeling her stomach clench like a plummet off the top of a roller coaster before evening out. They had gone from streaming light to dark.

“Oh… Wow.” She breathed, rising off his lap and nearly floating to her feet. She was mesmerized, starry eyed at the expanse of space all around her. She’d been to a planetarium as a girl and remembered how small she’d felt. This was entirely different, like she was floating in a sea of space. There were so many stars.

She felt the cabin lights dim at his request and he punched a few buttons to bring the ship to a stand still. There was a rustle and she absently recognized the picnic blanket was tossed out in the center of the room. A portable record player started up, the music soft and slow. There were more of the flowers like the one in her hair, a picnic basket as well.

He looked up and smiled at her and her heart stuttered.

“Steven. This is a lot.” She murmured, lump in her throat as an overwhelming tide of panic and emotions swept her under. Tears trickled down her face and she inhaled sharply.

Maybe it was the vacuum of being in space, the sheer amount of effort he’d put in, or both. But she started crying and couldn’t bring herself to stop.

“Oh no.” He breathed rushing to her side. He immediately reached down and started wiping at her tear tracks with his sleeve, smoothing them away with his fingers. “What is it? What’s wrong? Is it too much? I told you I’m bad at this! I mean I know… I _know_ this is kind of cheesy, right?” He rambled, his own panic starting to rise.

She silenced him with a lingering kiss on the edge of his jaw. He froze.

She sniffed quietly, smiling sheepishly up at him, “You’ve done nothing wrong. If anything you’ve done everything _right_. I’m just the one… I’m the one feeling lacking. I mean… You’re _magical_. You’re this spectacular… Somebody. And I’m just some frumpy librarian. You brought me to literal space, Steven!” She flailed, words jumbling and reality sinking into her fast.

“Hey, hey, hey… Stop…” He murmured quietly, interrupting her tirade. “You are enough.”

“You say that because, I don’t know, you think I’m pretty and your Diamond tells you to for some crazy reason but I mean… Steven I… You…You don’t want me.” She tried weakly to reason with him.

But his hands were running up her back now, cradling the nape of her neck, thumb stroking her soothingly in a repeated rhythm behind her ear.

“You don’t get to tell me that. I decide what I want. And I told you, you are enough.” He pulled her against him, letting her bury her face into the shoulder of his button down. She gripped his shirt in her fist with all her strength, like it was a lifeline.

“You don’t… You don’t know me well enough to know that.” She protested.

“I’m starting to. If you’ll just let me.” He countered smoothly. She fidgeted.

“You’ll get bored.” she whispered, voice cracking “I’m really…I’m really not…” He gripped the back of her neck, hand sliding forward and thumb raising her chin. She avoided his gaze, eyes wet with tears.

He chuckled quietly, “Oh I’m not so sure I will. Did you know Garnet has Future Vision?”

“She does?” She croaked, gaze flying up to his. He indulged in a smile, pleased he’d shocked her.

“Mhm. Haven’t you noticed? She never asks a question because she already knows the answer. She won’t tell anyone the future and she says nothing is predetermined. But she did say that you… are my greatest challenge yet. Now you tell me how _that_ sounds boring.” He leaned down and into her, forehead nudging hers.

She pulled back, chewing on her bottom lip nervously, not meeting his gaze.

“Well… Typically there’s a solution to challenges. They loose their appeal once you figure out the trick.” Her voice was quiet, distant and sad. He brushed her newer tear tracks away again with his thumb, cradling her cheek in his palm.

“Lucky for me you seem like the kind of girl who’s capable of more than one.” He murmured.

“Steven…” She whispered pleadingly, her body seeming to melt into him, tension receding. She knew she probably looked a mess from crying. Her fists released into steady palms. It was just _so very nice_ to feel wanted. To feel needed. She swayed in his hold, shyness reemerging in the wake of her vulnerability.

A pulse rocked the ship, startling the two. She pulled back from his embrace and reluctantly he let her.

Lightyears away, Centari imploded, the burning ball of light sucking in before sending out a pulsing wave of celestial blue light. What was left was a floating ball of expanded light and shimmering dust, burning aqua and green.

“Was that…”

“A supernova, yeah.” He murmured, enamored with the way the lingering light danced in patterns across her face.

“Best. Date. Ever.” She repeated mesmerized.

“Still?” He asked her. He didn’t have a vast experience pool but he felt dissolving your date to tears usually fell in the bad category. She sniffed, giving a small laugh now.

“Still.” She assured him, smile returning.

Steven Universe knew he could be compulsive, could fixate on things and on people. He knew he grew loyalties to brands and people impulsively, loved long and deeply. And he knew right then, staring at her excited expression while listening to her energetic explanation for how supernovas formed, that she would be the last girl he’d ever take on a first date. He swallowed thickly.

“Steven?”

“Yeah?”

“Am I boring you?” She asked him suspiciously, eyebrow raised.

“No! No. I’m just relieved. You worried me.” He admitted hurriedly.

Her smile flickered a bit and she gave him a small shrug, “I’m sorry. I um… I’m not really used to people going through trouble for me. It’s nice. But I got overwhelmed.” She explained, rocking back on her heels.

“That’s my fault. I just… I really wanted everything to be perfect.” He admitted, deflated.

“It was! _It is!_ ” He did not look convinced and she sighed, sliding her arm through his and pulling him to the floor. He yelped, tumbling down with her in a tangle of limbs.

Instead of settling on top of the blanket she grabbed it, throwing it up and over them both and wrapping it around both their shoulders. They sat huddled next to each other in a cocoon of gingham, watching the remains of the supernova burn and twist. He sat tensely next to her, spiraling as he thought of every moment he may have misspoke, scared her off.

“You’re infuriating.” She mumbled after a moment. She leaned her head against his upper arm, sighing. She stared out into space, watching the twisted dance of light.

“What, why?” He asked, thrown off.

“You’re funny. You drive a space ship. You saved the world a couple of times. You scheme up amazing dates. You’re incredibly absorbent of my tears.” She listed slowly. He snorted a bit at the last one, “Is there anything you’re bad at?”

“I don’t scheme.” He pouted. “And I’m not perfect, I’m bad at plenty of stuff.”

“List.” She prompted immediately.

He huffed, “Isn’t this backwards? Shouldn’t I be luring you in with my good qualities?”

“Schemer.” She sing-singed in reply and he scowled.

“Fine! Fine… Let’s see… I’m not great at cooking. Finances. Um.. I fixate on things.”

_And people._

A pause, “I… I used to have…. A bit of a temper.” He admitted the last one with a wince. He supposed it was important she knew.

“Hm… I guess being raised by Gems would do it on the cooking and finances.” She conceded. “But lucky for you I’ve been called a wizard at both.” She waggled an eyebrow at him, earning a smile. “You should try my fried chicken. It’s a religious experience. And I navigated my uncle out of a lifetime of destitution by Revenue Services.”

“Vegetarian.” He winced.

“Yeesh, you should have led with that.” She said gravely and Steven laughed. “I’ll get creative then. Eggplant lasagna? Oh! I just saw a video on carrot bacon the other day!” She said brightly.

He laughed again and she snuggled back in against his shoulder, smiling.

Her voice was quieter now, “I’m not sure I buy the fixation thing as a negative. You’re stubborn, but nothing you’ve told me fits with you letting anything consume you.”

 _Wrong._ The thought came to him immediately. _I am absolutely enamored by you._

She was still talking, “Picturing someone like you with a temper is hard. But it does not scare me.” The idea that Steven Universe was capable of anything evil or hurting her… She didn’t buy what he was selling. It wasn’t in his makeup.

“What if I told you when I snap I turn full Diamond or maybe into a giant kaiju?” He asked.

“You’re making the kaiju thing up to mess with me.” She huffed.

“Mhm… No I definitely did and I destroyed our house. There were horns. Full Godzilla. Shapeshifting is part of the Gem wheelhouse of powers.”

“Let me guess.” She mussed. “The Big Donut ran out of strawberry glazed and you decided to burn and pillage as a giant lizard monster?” A pause, “Honestly, I get it.”

He snorted, “No! It was more of a gradual descent into madness over a rough couple of weeks? It wasn’t just one thing. I… I overloaded.” He looked haunted and she nodded slightly, understanding that bit rather well. “I um… still go see a therapist. She helps.”

“That’s good!” She paused, “The therapist, not the slow descent into madness bit.” She clarified. He gave her a tiny smile instead of his regular large cheerful one and she frowned, nudging him slightly.

“Hey… You’re not going to hurt me, Steven. You said it yourself.”

His gaze was dark, “Not on purpose.”

“Not as an accident either. You’re not seventeen anymore, you’re in control of you.”

“I… I’m not in control when my Diamond side comes out.” He exhaled. “But I’m still him. If I do something to you when I’m.. We… I just don’t want to ruin this.” He admitted finally.

“Pearl and Garnet… and I’m sure Amethyst too seem to believe in you, Steven. So do I. You should trust yourself more.” She sighed. Deep within him something shifted, a silent agreement between human and Gem halves. They would not hurt her. They would not do anything to break her trust or her spirit.

Her head lolled on his shoulder and she sighed audibly. The feeling was back, like he was speaking to her with silent words that touched.

“Can I play you something?” He asked her, nose brushing her temple, once, twice.

“Alright.” She agreed softly, reluctantly letting him hop up and to his feet. He walked to the corner of the ship, snagging his guitar.

He padded back to her, settling down cross legged in front of her. He began a gentle strum of chords, fingers deftly working the strings. She swallowed thickly.

Steven licked his lips nervously. He never thought he’d sing this song to anybody:

> _Do you believe in destiny?_
> 
> _Close your eyes and leave the rest to me_
> 
> _Do you believe in fantasy?_
> 
> _I have to when its right in front of me, oh_
> 
> _What are you doing here In the real world?_
> 
> _What are you doing here?_
> 
> _So close I could touch you_
> 
> _What are you doing here_
> 
> _And what are you doing to me?_

He chanced a glance up at her and she was completely transfixed. The stars were back in her eyes again.

He had a unique voice, smooth yet wavering, wrapping her up in the lyrics. He swallowed thickly, pressing onward with his own addition:

> _I saw you and was paralyzed_
> 
> _By your beauty I was hypnotized_
> 
> _Now my star is on the rise_
> 
> _Since it found its way into your eyes, oh_
> 
> _Won’t you just stay right here_
> 
> _In the real world?_
> 
> _Won’t you just stay right here?_
> 
> _So close I could touch you_
> 
> _Won't you just stay right here_
> 
> _Embrace this destiny with me?_

The guitar chords swelled before trailing off. He glanced up at her again.

“You wrote that?” She asked, voice thick in her throat.

“Half of it my Dad wrote for my Mom. The other half I wrote for you.” He murmured. She was for once in her life, rendered speechless. She was glad she was sitting because she was fairly certain her legs were too shaky to prop her up.

“Musicians…” she repeated, shuddering. A slow smile rose on his lips, eyes sparkling mischievously as he set the guitar aside. He was looking at her positively predatorily, the hair on the back of her neck raising at the stark similarities between him and his Diamond half. He reached across the floor going for her ankle, intent on tugging her across the distance between them and to him.

Around them the ship let out a whirl, “Incoming transmission from - Yellow Diamond.”

Steven let out a strangled groan, head hanging. The librarian laughed.

“Answer it.” He said aloud, drawing back from her.

“Steven? Hello? Where are… What are you doing on the floor?” Yellow asked. Her face was projected above them, her giant face peering into the hologram camera too closely. 

“Hi Yellow.” He sighed, looking up.

“Thank goodness. You weren’t answering your phone. I was debating warping over to your Earth planet and- Oh, hello there.” She stated haltingly, eyes narrowing. “Steven, who is that?”

Steven introduced her and she gave the former intergalactic warlord a polite wave from underneath her blanket.

She debated sticking her tongue out at her and hiding under it completely but that seemed childish.

“I’m on a date, Yellow.” Steven sighed.

“A date? These human customs of yours are most unusual. No matter, you must come home at once! I told the Chancellor of the Beta Provence that my villa on Alpha 9 was merely a vacation home and not a cover for stealth re-occupation but he’s set up a blockade anyway! I will not be separated from gamma sunbathing by that pathetic sycophant.” She huffed.

Inwardly Steven wanted to scream. He could not get any privacy with the librarian even out in the middle of empty space! He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Have you tried inviting him to visit your villa?” Steven asked.

“What? That lower life form? No! Why would I?”

“Equal life forms. Equal.” He sighed, “Invite his delegation to check your vacation home out themselves and show them you have nothing to hide. Maybe then he’ll relax with the blockade. I know you can be charming, Yellow. Use it.”

“Charming. Hm, yes well. I suppose I could try that. If that fails could I vaporize him?”

“No.” Steven stated pointedly. She huffed.

“You are so difficult.”

“Bye Yellow. And don’t call me until the next sun rotation unless it’s an emergency, please.”

“This was an emergency!”

“Ship, hang up.” Steven groaned. Yellow’s face blinked out of sight and he slid forward onto his stomach entirely, feeling completely defeated. He fought the urge to dramatically bang his fist on the ground. “One night, I just wanted one night to myself.”

“Hmm… Ship, forward all incoming calls to voicemail.” The librarian only replied.

“Forwarding all calls to an automatic voice messaging system.”

His head shot up and he stared at her wide eyed. She winked at him, twirling the blanket off her shoulders and billowing it out next to them. “Well what do you know? It worked.”

“How did you -“

She shrugged, “If Alexa can do it I figured so could a spaceship.”

“Now,” She stated sternly, flipping the vinyl and setting the arm to play. Soft music began to croon. “I believe that’s a picnic basket. I’m starved. Unless you cooked what’s in it.” She asked, eyes narrowing accusingly at him. “In which case, I just ate and couldn't possibly.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “Pearl might have helped me put that together.”

He shoved the basket at his back across the gap between them. She started rummaging through it, eyes shiny, “Oooh! There’s cute little heart shaped cucumber sandwiches in here.”

He propped his chin up on his hand as he watched her pilfer through the wicker basket, gushing over the contents Pearl packed the two of them. She was just as excited now as she was for the supernova, as she was for floating, as she was when she first saw him tonight. He sighed. He was pretty sure he was completely, utterly, hopelessly smitten with the librarian.

It was all Pearl’s fault, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven's right, you are enough. Hope you're doing okay today, reader. 
> 
> Further credits: Destiny is Rebecca Sugar, but the third verse belongs to an extended cover by Hell Universe on YouTube. Fourth verse I reworked. Star Path is a rather poorly disguised reference to Star Trek.


	4. Garnet, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kicks off the Garnet arc, which is about four parts and is going to cover some major plot points. Also a reminder - while wholesome, this story is a giant excuse to simp for Adult Steven so expect it to stay horny and get mature in later chapters. 
> 
> Peep them tags and always ask your parent's permission before going online.

Steven Universe was not the biggest fan of _Alien Invaders_ at Beach City Arcade. It seemed a little on the nose, considering his family history. The Lovecraftian tentacle monster shoot-em-up with the hollow plastic guns as controllers was therefore, never a game he frequented as a kid.

It just so happened however it was the librarian’s favorite, right next to _Street Brawler_.

He smiled, leaning up against another cabinet console as he watched her point and shoot her way through the level breezily, lollipop stick poking out of her mouth. She was wearing her flowing green skirt again, her hair up in a long wavy ponytail on the crown of her head. Her glasses slid down her nose as she aimed the controller. There was a confidence about her stance, her play shooting, that existed as a dichotomy of childishness and femme fatale.

“I’ve never seen anybody get this far.” He admitted, impressed.

“I’ve had a shameful amount of practice.” She pointed off screen, reloading her ammo supplies quickly. She shot alien after alien as they popped out from behind barrels and beams at the top floor of the warehouse.

“My days off before we met was typically…. Raspberry filled glaze from the Big Donut and a few rounds… Here. Before the beach.” She explained brokenly between bouts of intense focus, sucker rolling around to the opposite cheek. Her brow furrowed in concentration as her eyes scanned the screen for the next ambush. Steven had never seen anything more adorable.

“Remind me to apologize to Mr. Smiley for keeping his VIP customer away.” He paused, “Actually just remind me to apologize to Mr. Smiley. I’m surprised he still lets me in here. The Gems and I broke way too many games back in the day…” He mussed aloud, trying to distract himself.

She cleared the level and relaxed for a moment, sucker stick shifting in her mouth once more.

“Hey… Can I ask you something?” She asked casually, eyes darting over to him as she stretched her arms up tall for a moment, limbering up. She resumed her shooting stance again as the loading screen disappeared.

“Shoot.” She could practically hear him grinning at his own cleverness.

“Ha. Ha.” She intoned dryly. There was a click as she began to shoot again. “Did you have any luck asking Garnet about fealty? Pearl loaned me a book of hers but uh… It’s not very helpful.” She admitted.

He could swear she was blushing slightly but it could have been frustration. Her health in game was quickly dwindling.

Steven swallowed, recalling exactly the conversation he had with Garnet. He knew he owed the librarian an explanation, that it would probably be best coming from him both as her boyfriend and a Diamond diplomat. But it didn’t change the fact he didn’t want to tell her.

Pink Diamond was even more against the idea, unsurprisingly. He felt restlessness slide through him. He always had been a bad liar. Perhaps a different tactic?

“Why are you making that face?” He asked instead, brow raising.

“It’s um… A very descriptive book. And it doesn’t help that Pearl wrote comments in the margins.” Now it was Steven’s turn to tinge red.

He could have gone without that cursed knowledge.

“So no luck then with Garnet?” The librarian tried again, hopefully.

Steven let out a breath when he was saved from answering by her character dying.

_You Lose!_

She huffed, deflating in defeat. She had however, hit the high score. Her 197,874 beat out the previous score by PWND by a narrow 200 points.

“Oh wow, you topped the leaderboard.” He breathed, impressed. She tapped out some letters, spelling out: P..W…N..D.

Steven’s mouth dropped open.

“No way! _You’re_ PWND? You’ve been the high score on this cabinet for months! Peridot is going to flip out when she finds out that’s you. It’s been driving her nuts.” Steven cracked up, pointing to the third name on the list of PERI. He remembered the lime green Gem practically frothing at the mouth when she told him of her intense rivalry with the arcade gamer PWND.

“You’ve uncovered my secret identity! Please keep it to yourself! From one superhero to another.” She pleaded theatrically, pulling the pink lollipop from her mouth and clasping her hands together in a begging motion. “Seriously though, I want Peridot to like me.” She added on gravely.

Steven rolled his eyes, unable to keep the grin off his face. He pushed off the cabinet console he’d been leaning against and took the plastic controller from her, reholstering it. His hands were large but through careful maneuvers he took it from her without touching her hand. The librarian felt her stomach drop at this but said nothing. “I might… If the incentive was right.”

“Extortion? You wouldn’t.” She gasped melodramatically.

He was closer to her now, that floral fragrance of hers invading his nose and his senses. He could still see the shine on her lips, the dewy pink hue of the candy staining the corner of her mouth. Steven smirked, staring down at her, “It’s a very modest fee. All I want is one taste of that lollipop of yours.”

“But I don’t have another one.” She admitted unable to break his gaze.

“Even better. We can share.”

“Isn’t that unsanitary? What about cooties?” She wrinkled her nose. He hovered in her personal space. His hands twitched and he longed to touch her but he kept them firmly at his sides.

“How old are you, again?” He teased.

“Uh, do you want a taste or not?” She asked with faux sternness.

_Oh yes, he wanted a taste._

His gaze darted down again at her mouth. Cautiously she held the sucker out in front of her, the lollipop drifting into his field of vision and obscuring his view of her lips. He leaned forward, swirling it into his mouth. He kept his eyes locked on hers, convinced he heard her squeak.

“Wasn’t my first choice of method, but I’ll take what I can get.” He commented smoothly with flagrant Universe charm, her face burning red as comprehension dawned.

“You meant…”

_Kissing._

She can’t deny she hadn’t thought about what it’d be like to kiss Steven Universe.

Okay, if she was being honest she thought about it a lot lately.

Clearly he had thought about it too.

“I do love strawberry.” He sighed, releasing it with a pop. It was driving him crazy, sampling the sweet. So this was how she tasted right now. It would be so very easy for him, in the dark alcove of the arcade, to press her up against the nearest cabinet and kiss her until he ran out of oxygen. He was half Gem so it would take quite a while.

However there was just one little problem.

His pupils were geometric already fresh from his thought of kissing her.

“We agreed.” She reminded him weakly, breath catching at the sight.

“We did.” He conceded, stepping back from her. He worked to keep his breathing steady.

That damned agreement…

Steven and the librarian had a frank conversation, not very long after their first date. He admitted that until he figured out how to control his bouts as Pink Diamond they should avoid doing anything that would encourage him to make an appearance. He was working on meditating. He was also working on a gadget with Bismuth. In addition to certain Gem customs, Steven also made it clear that physical contact on his side was out. Which obviously included… kissing.

It had been an entire week since he’d last laid even a finger on her and she was dying.

“As such, my new demands include one round of _Street Brawler_. Loser buys donuts.” He stated with a grin, eyes fully brown and soft once more. She laughed, tension receding from her shoulders. This was fine. She was okay with this. What did it matter if he didn’t touch her?

“You’re on.” He grinned, taking up his post at one set of controls. She joined him and he was so broad that he was forced to let her slip in front of his right shoulder to take up the second player controls. She could feel him partially behind her, could smell the smooth scent of his aftershave and something sweet.

She swallowed thickly. She was okay with this.

He smiled at her. She was so not okay with this. 

* * *

She shifted on her teal couch later that afternoon, Pearl’s battered copy of Facets clattering to the floor. Her brows knitted, the afghan crumpling around her as she slipped into dreams. She didn’t mean to fall asleep, she’d just been so tired lately. With as much as she’d been sleeping she was surprised she didn’t feel more rested. Instead she would wake up feeling more drained and so incredibly turned on she wanted to scream.

She fidgeted in her sleep. It wasn’t her fault. The latest chapter of Facets, _On Allegiance_ , was of particular blame. It was written for Gems but translated into English. It documented the first time White Diamond ran into Metals, a race of beings she did not create, and had them swear fealty. She didn’t know if it was because she was human or someone took liberties with the translation, but it read to her like a Dear Penthouse letter.

_Dear Gems, I never thought it would happen to me but this hot, built race of strong male aliens wouldn’t submit me to me!_

All of these factors she suspected contributed to the reason that Steven Universe was _heavily_ present in her dreams as of late.

She felt the bottom of her sofa fall out from under her, feeling herself free fall into dreams, tumbling down, down through the clouds until they turned cotton candy pink. Gradually her falling slowed and instead became a float. Her hair, her dress, all of it drifted eerily in suspended animation. White light intermingled with pink, streaming through the clouds, sunbeams dancing over her fingers as she splayed them out in front of her.

“Hello Stardust.” His voice was low, rumbling in her neck just below her right ear. His arms reached out, hooking around her waist and pulling her back and against him.

She shook, her eyes closing as she felt his lips brush at the shell of her ear, the side of her neck, the junction of her collarbone to shoulder. She could tell from the bulk of the chest at her shoulder blades it was him.

“Pink… Diamond.” she breathed. In suspended animation, her footing had no leverage. She pedaled helplessly.

Awake she would have pushed him away. But here, in her dreams… Pink Diamond nipped at her shoulder lightly, tongue swirling in the wake of his teeth. She heard an unfamiliar sound like a mix between a keen and a pant leave her body.

She felt his hand ghost up the front of her body, fingers brushing between her breasts, the underside of her jaw. His thumb pressed up under her chin hard, tipping her head back to look at him. She could see him out of the corner of her eye. The rose hued Gem surveyed her with excitement, amusement clear in his burning eyes.

“Say it… Just say it, Stardust.” He exhaled, just below her earlobe.

“I…” She breathed, her equilibrium was off, she felt helpless. He was solid and strong at her back and she sagged weakly against him. She could feel his other hand spread out across her stomach.

“We can both get what we want.” He coaxed in her ear, nose brushing the shell. He pulled back, the geometric points of his eyes dropping to her mouth, “And I _know_ you want…” he murmured darkly, his lips so close to hers.

“Stop! We agreed.” She whispered against him. He inhaled sharply, expression sour as he drew back from her lips reluctantly. His thumb loosened from underneath her chin allowing her to turn and face him.

“ _Steven_ agreed not to kiss you. _Steven_ agreed and it’s been driving him crazy.” Pink Diamond spat, sullen displeasure apparent with the human side of him. She reached up, arms circling around his neck.

“You’re a part of him so technically you agreed too.” She reminded him.

She wanted to touch him but hesitated. Steven had said he was nervous to touch her but he was touching her now, wasn’t he? After all… This was her dream. She wasn’t afraid here. She could do what she wanted here. Her fingers reached up brushing over his cheek bones, the strong line of his jaw. Her gaze was hooded as her fingers continued to map his face, gently exploring the cleft of his chin, thumb running over his bottom lip.

“That is true…” He admitted, preening under her touch and her recognition as part of Steven. His hand slipped downward, palms running over her hips before gripping the outside of her thighs. He tugged her towards him, settling his hips between her thighs and slipping her legs to wrap around his waist. He watched the silent pant of pleasure at the contact fall out of her mouth.

He smirked, a lofty smugness she found equal parts infuriating and exciting.

“However the reason for the agreement was to keep me from coming out. I’m already out. So that makes it null and void.” He ground up and against her slowly, staring directly into her eyes. She gripped his shoulders. Another pant, her eyes fluttering. He was enjoying this, the feel of her against him, this game they were playing.

“It doesn’t matter. I asked you not to.” She gasped, head falling back as he rolled against her, another slow pass of his hips.

“That _is_ a good reason.” He breathed angrily into the hollow of her throat. “But are you sure you’re still asking? This is your dream after all.” He tempted her sinfully, his lips brushing the underside of her chin. He stilled, fighting to keep his hips from surging.

“I… Ah…” She trembled, “Steven!” The sound of her calling his name that way… It ruined him. He nearly broke. He needed it, needed it, needed it. He felt his tether to sanity fraying.

“Ask me. Ask me and I will.” He was a Diamond. He did not beg. There was a desperate tilt to his voice anyway. His hands slid back to her butt, fingers gripping it tightly as he ground himself into her hard. She openly moaned, a sharp cry that had him gritting his teeth to hold back his need.

“Please…” He could swear she nearly sobbed.

“What do you want?” Pink Diamond insisted, fingers brushing at her cheek. He didn’t care what response followed. He’d give it to her. He’d find a way. Anything, he’d make it hers.

“Please Steven. Please kiss me! Please-“ He crushed his lips against hers, swallowing her cry. She melted against the front of his chest, tilting her head back farther for him and he feasted. They crumpled together, a twisted meeting of need and will. His lips moved hard on hers, a demanding kiss, before his head tilted a new direction and he pressed forward again and the kiss changed. He felt her fingers bury into his hair, her lips parting under his in a whimper. He pressed onwards but softer now, almost desperate, sweeping his tongue into her mouth and tasting her. He could feel her hips rocking against his and he broke free of her long enough to inhale sharply.

There was an abrupt slam of what sounded like a screen door and she woke up. 

* * *

She bolted upright in a panic, awake in her living room, heartbeat pounding frantically in her chest. It was just a dream. _It was just a dream!_

But stars, what a kiss. She still burned from it.

She looked at her foyer, Connie waving into her front window above her geranium flower boxes. She sighed, getting to her feet and shuffling to the front door. She wanted nothing more than a cold shower. She twisted the lock and the brass doorknob to let Connie in anyway.

“Hey!” Connie chirped cheerfully, breezing past her and into the cozy house. She had a recyclable shopping bag with her and she moved confidently towards the kitchen. “I brought the mangoes and the yogurt. Mom swore on sending me with homemade, not the store stuff since we're celebrating. Tonight we party!” She grinned fiercely, dumping the supplies onto the counter.

She looked up at her friend and immediately grimaced.

“Are you okay? No offense but you look um…. tired.” Connie trailed, biting her cheek.

 _Like death warmed over_ would have been the more accurate description. The librarian stood in her foyer still, wrapped up in a hideous purple and green Afghan. Her hair was an exploded frizzy mess of curls and waves. She stood looking dazed at Connie, wearing striped sweatpants and a t-shirt with dark circles under her eyes.

She seemed to deflate, a heavy groan leaving her, “I'm a terrible friend. I'm sorry I forgot.” She moaned.

She and Connie had become fast friends. Between helping her edit her dissertation and the librarian being thrust head on into the Gem world with few human friends who understood… Connie had become a regular fixture at her place. She'd made plans to make mango lassis, cook curry, and break out the newest _Princess Bunny Space Soldier_ movie as soon as Connie was finished with her dissertation.

“Should we reschedule?” Connie asked worriedly.

“No! No.. I'm fine I just I… I haven't been sleeping very great lately.”

Connie frowned sympathetically “What’s the matter? Have you tried melatonin?”

_Why did everyone always ask that?_

The librarian shuffled to the barstool and Connie rummaged through her cabinets, pulling out her cutting board and blender. It had taken her a few visits but they were past the awkward getting-to-know-where-stuff-is phase of cooking in a stranger’s kitchen. Connie knew her cabinets like the back of her hand. Partially due to her inconspicuously rearranging them when the librarian wasn’t looking. She took a paring knife from the magnetic wall strip and started peeling the mangoes.

“Getting to sleep is not the problem. The problem is the quality is garbage.” The librarian leaned overtop of the aqua countertop, face half buried by her arms as she watched the smooth strokes of Connie’s knife.

“Nightmares?”

“I wish.” She muttered with a frustrated sigh. At least that was easy to explain. “I know you probably don’t want to hear about this kind of stuff but…” She inhaled, “I’m being bombarded by stupid, sexy dreams about your best friend.”

Connie snorted, “Uh, I am your friend too! Friends talk about boys even if one of them is _also_ friends with said boy. Spill.” She demanded. Whenever she asked Steven how things were going with her he’d just get a dreamy look on his face and use some variation of the word ‘amazing.’ That was not what Connie wanted to hear. She wanted _the good stuff._

“Ugh, Connie, this is supposed to be about your dissertation, not me!” The librarian deferred. Connie nearly chucked the half peeled mango at her.

“The night is young and my brain is soup from final edits. Distract me.” She demanded.

“Fine! So Steven and I decided that until we can figure out how to stop Pink Diamond from taking him over we are going to take things slow. Get to know each other. He admitted its not just Gem stuff that sets him off its um… Anything exciting. So we decided no kissing.” The librarian was staring at her up from the countertop and behind the wall of her arms. But the displeasure was clear.

Connie wrinkled her nose, “You realize this plan sucks, right?”

“Yes! Connie, it sucks so bad.” She moaned loudly into her countertop dramatically. “Have you _seen_ Steven? I mean you two dated for like… a second. You get it, right?”

“Part of the reason we didn’t work was that I didn’t get it.” Connie pointed out diplomatically.

“Well I do! He’s driving me crazy! I am a grown woman. I have grown woman needs.” She hissed, an angry blush on her face.

Connie smirked, dumping the fruit into the blender, “So your hormones are in overdrive, how do you think Steven feels? Have you talked to him about it?”

From behind Fort Arms there was a vehement, “No!”

“Maybe you should. Or maybe you should take back your dumb rule and lock yourselves in the bedroom for a week. I vote both.” She advised slyly, twisting the lid on her mom’s yogurt container and dumping it into the blender.

“Connie!”

Connie sent her a grin, padding to the fridge and digging her milk carton out. She gave it the sniff test before deeming it suitable. She added a splash to the blender. “What? Just talk to him. If you’re a mess, I guarantee you Steven is worse.”

“What makes you say that?”

She sighed, silently asking the universe for patience. _These two clueless nerds…_

“Steven has _never_ been sexually attracted to anybody before. All that awkward hormone stuff you went through in high school? He’s getting a crash course. Throw in the Diamond half and I’d imagine he’s ready to throw himself off the pier.” She raised a brow. She fished through her shopping bag, pulling out the cardamom and adding a pinch.

“I didn’t really think about that.” The librarian admitted.

“So no kissing. What about anything else?” Connie fished, hoping against hope.

“No. The real Steven will barely even touch me.” She grumbled.

“But Dream Steven?” Connie asked leadingly.

The librarian was confused at the distinction but obliged her anyway.

“Dream Steven won’t keep his hands to himself.” She admitted, flushing.

“Hmm…. Got any honey?” Connie asked her. The librarian nodded, trudging to her coffee cabinet. She handed over the bear shaped bottle and Connie gave a healthy squirt of it into the blender.

Connie hummed, “Let me see if I’ve got this. You’re like nuns by day and Sin City by night?”

There was a furious blush on her cheeks now, “Quit judging my dreams! They aren’t real.”

“They’re real. Dollars to donuts he’s dreamwalking.”

Connie hit the switch on the blender and it erupted into a cacophony of angry sound matched only by a shriek from the librarian, “What?!”

“If you aren’t letting him kiss you in real life and you’re both this worked up? He’s invading your dreams and seducing you there. I know Steven. And it is one thousand percent a move he would pull.” Connie yelled over the blender with the conviction of a best friend who knows their person. She flipped the switch off, satisfied with the lassi consistency.

“Okay I really need to get a decoder ring list of Gem powers because this is ridiculous.” The librarian groused, shuffling to her cup cabinet and grabbing two glasses for her and Connie, “That’s seriously a thing he can do?”

“Yeah. He dreamwalked when were kids into Kiki Pizza’s head and helped her fight her subconscious and self actualize. If he can fight a giant pizza I don’t see why he can’t use his powers for sin.” Connie shrugged. She popped the blender free and poured each of them a full glass.

“I am equal parts impressed and furious. I feel… I don’t know… My dreams are my dreams, you know?” She grumbled, looking uncomfortable. Thankful she hadn’t dreamed anything too personal.

“I get it. You made a request. He’s using his powers to ignore your request. Boundaries are trickier when your boyfriend is a magical boy.” Connie waffled her hand. “Talk to him.”

“You’re really sure he’s dreamwalking?” She asked nervously. What would that conversation even sound like? It was an unusual accusation to make. Tricky. She sighed, taking a swig off the mango lassi. She didn’t know what she expected. It was heavenly.

“Oh yeah. It’d explain why you’re so tired too. Neither of you are actually getting sleep.”

“I’m going to throttle him.” The librarian muttered darkly over her drink. Sleep was sacred. Connie snickered.

The two were interrupted by a bang as the librarian’s front door was thrown open, an exclamation of her name in the doorway.

“Garnet?” She asked, surprised. The Leader of the Crystal Gems had punched her yellow oak door off its hinges, gauntlets in hand. She surveyed the room cooly, expression unreadable behind her pointed shades, ready for action. The fusion paused at the sight of the girl and Connie standing mystified in the kitchen.

“Oh. This is the mango lassi timeline.” She said, visibly relaxing. She sighed and turned to leave without another word, dissipating her gauntlets.

“Uhhh… Garnet?” Connie asked nervously. The fusion froze, “What do you mean ‘This is the mango lassi timeline’? You can’t just say mysterious stuff and then leave.” The librarian took a heady slurp of her drink, nodding.

“It doesn’t matter. Everything is fine. You’re fine.” Garnet assured her. It was making her feel like everything was in fact, _not_ fine. She finished her slurp, making up her mind.

“Hey since you’re here, you want one?” The librarian asked, nodding to the pitcher. The Gem turned, seeming uncomfortable.

“I don’t really…eat.” She explained awkwardly. This was new territory.

“Amethyst does.” Connie pointed out, shrugging. The librarian smiled at her and wiggled the pitcher. The fusion sighed, picking the front door up and sitting it back on its hinges. She shut it, telling herself it always wobbled like that. She joined them in the kitchen, huddling her large form onto a barstool. It made her taller and if possible, even more uncomfortable.

The two humans only grinned.

“Steven says you’ve got Future Vision. Is that what this was about?” The librarian asked. She grabbed her a yellow smiley face coffee mug and Connie dumped the last of the pitcher into it, sliding it across the counter to the Gem like a bartender.

“Yes. I see a stream of possibilities. Sometimes they cross and in those cases, the future is not as clear. If you’re in this timeline… You saw Yellow Diamond on your date with Steven.” It was not a question. Connie raised an eyebrow, looking at her. She had left that bit out of the date recap.

“I did. Who was I supposed to have seen if this was the margarita timeline?” The librarian asked, partially joking. Connie hopped up, sitting on the counter across from the Gem.

“There is no margarita timeline.”

“Lame.”

The fusion took a sip of the thick mango concoction, feeling it coat her tongue. It wasn’t…unpleasant. She savored it for a moment.

Steven knew Connie, liked Connie. Garnet knew Connie, liked Connie. She was a good human.

Steven knew the librarian, liked the librarian. But Garnet didn’t know the librarian. Would she like her? Was she a good human? Garnet took a deep breath and decided to try and find out.

“I am relieved reality went this path. The others were… Not pleasant.” She admitted.

Instead of freaking out and demanding details that librarian only smiled, leaning casually against the kitchen cabinets. “I assumed as much from the way you roundhouse kicked my front door in. Thanks for turning up for me.”

Garnet inclined her head, “You are important to Steven.”

At this the librarian scowled, “Yeah well, I’m still mad at him. Connie thinks he’s been dreamwalking.”

“Oh he has.” Garnet confirmed without missing a beat. Connie whooped in triumph at being right and the librarian groaned.

“That little…” she mumbled angrily to herself, taking another hateful swig off her drink as she stewed.

_She reminds me of Ruby when she’s mad._

_….How dare you!_

“You must not agree to swear fealty to Pink Diamond.” Garnet said carefully. She had told Steven the same. But it did not take Future Vision to see he hadn’t told her.

“Why not?” she asked, curious. Her reasons were her own. But the Gems’…

“Tell me your knowledge of fealty.” Garnet asked, taking another drink and settling into her stool more comfortably. This kind of role, advice, guidance… She was comfortable here.

“Pearl gave me Facets.” The librarian pushed off the cabinets and moved past her to the glass coffee table. She handed the book to the Gem.

Garnet was often grateful for her sunglasses. It kept humans from being uncomfortable at her three eyes. It also hid when she rolled all three of them in exasperation.

“ _That_ is the dime store romance novel of Gem customs and not helpful. Share with me what you really know and I’ll see what gaps I can fill.” Garnet beckoned her, twisting on the stool to face the girl.

“I knew it read like erotica! Given what Steven told me about Rose Quartz and Pearl I don’t know what I expected.” She muttered, sitting down on the couch in a huff. The fusion couldn’t stop her slow smile at this.

“Fealty.” Garnet prompted her again, coaxing her back on track. The librarian shared a glance with Connie who shrugged.

“Not much. Isn’t it just like a pledge of eternal servitude?” She sighed, “It seemed like a bad idea, me being a human and liking my life and all, so I declined.”

Garnet nodded, “You lose free will. Your Diamond’s will becomes your will. What they want, you want. Your entire existence ceases. Your life becomes only service to Your Diamond and nothing else. You lose all sense of self preservation. Any powers you possess Your Diamond can use. You take on their color scheme and lose your sense of self. Your Diamond is your beginning and your end.”

There was a pin drop of silence between the three and the librarian breathed out shakily.

“That sounds… unhealthy.”

“With the wrong Diamond… The wrong Gem.. It can be.” Garnet confirmed. “And yet for weaker Gems it is the ultimate honor. That sort of blend of consciousness allows them access to a power higher than themselves. It is not unlike fusion in that way.”

“I’m not a Gem.” The librarian muttered, pulling a leg up to her chest and wrapping her arm around it.

Why… Why would Steven… Pink Diamond… Why would he want that? And from her?

She thought about her unfinished novel, her parents, even moments like earlier laughing with Connie. All of that would be gone. She had seen friends lose their identity to who they dated in the past. This sounded like that nightmare, only on steroids. She swallowed thickly.

Connie was speaking now, “White Diamond used that kind of power back during the end of Era Two on you, Pearl, and Amethyst. Is that what it’s called?”

“Yes. Diamonds can force fealty. But that is…taboo. For an honorable fealty, consent must be given.” Garnet explained but it felt like her voice was coming from far away.

“I can’t believe Steven wants that from me.” Her voice was small and she buried her face against her knee. She knew she was tired, that lack of sleep was making her emotions go haywire. She knew it was ridiculous. She felt tears welling anyway, panic rising.

There was a weight displacement on her left, a shift in the couch cushions and she felt a steady hand at her back, reassuring between her shoulder blades.

Garnet’s voice was soothing beside her, “Our Steven knows… He knows that kind of control is wrong. The Pink Diamond of Rose Quartz knows that is wrong. The Pink Diamond of Steven… He sees it as a way to possess you through assimilating you. He does not see it as wrong. Change his mind.”

She looked up at the fusion, wiping her tears, “I am the worst person for that.”

“You’re the right person.” Garnet corrected.

“I don’t know if you’re right… but I really want you to be.” She smiled barely. She was thrown off kilter when she felt arms wrap around her from behind, squeezing over her shoulders.

“I’m here for you too. You aren’t alone. If it gets to be too much… Just talk to me. Team Human Beings?” Connie reaffirmed, hugging her. Connie had shared with her how Greg Universe, a wholesome Dad she had yet to meet, had been there for her when she first started navigating the world of Gems. Connie needed someone then. Now it was her turn to be there for someone else.

“Team Human Beings.” The librarian sighed back.

“Now! I think that is enough heavy stuff for one evening. This was supposed to be a party.” Connie groused, releasing her friend.

“The lassis were a hit.” The librarian rallied. Garnet gave a thumbs up.

“So is this movie, if the internet message boards are to be believed. Garnet, want to stay and watch _Princess Bunny Space Soldier_?” Connie asked excitedly. She jumped over the back of the couch, vaulting into the remaining open seat. The librarian already wielded the remote, flipping through menus to get to the rental screen.

“Uh..” The fusion stated, once again uncomfortable.

“There’s short skirts, special moves, and the power of love involved.” The librarian baited her. She waggled an eyebrow suggestively.

Garnet grinned, “I’m in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know White Diamond's mind control ability doesn't really have a name but it does now, suckers. Watch me tinker with canon. Also, I hate the "jealous girls pitted against each other" trope. So expect to see Connie being supportive, the voice of reason, and shipping the fuck out of Steven/librarian. 
> 
> Further credits: Alien Invaders is a reference to Space Invaders (no, not that one the other one). 
> 
> Street Brawler is a reference to Street Fighter. 
> 
> Dear Penthouse is an old as hell reference to a Playboy style magazine called Penthouse Forum where readers could write in naughty stories for publication. 
> 
> The mango lassi recipe is from SimplyRecipes.com. 
> 
> And finally, Princess Bunny Space Soldier is a reference to Sailor Moon, the number one magical girl herself.


	5. Garnet, Part II

Steven Universe bolted awake at the sound of Amethyst barging through the downstairs screen door. He exhaled sharply, realizing he was no longer Pink Diamond. His blood was still on fire and he drug a hand down his face in frustration.

Dreamwalking had not helped. If anything it had made his condition _much worse_.

Ever since their date, the two had seen each other every day. He’d spend time at the library during her shifts. She’d curl up on pillows in the floor of his room while he wrote a new marketing jingle or song for a quick paycheck. She’d visit Little Homeworld with him. He loved spending time with her.

The problem was the more time he spent with her, the worse his control got. Pink Diamond was furious he, as Steven Universe, was getting all of the attention. And the more infatuated Steven grew with her, the more Pink Diamond wanted her loyalty. Wanted _her_.

Stars, he wanted her. He shifted uncomfortably, hard in his jeans. He had promised her until Bismuth could come up with something that would ensure her protection from him that would give him peace of mind, he wouldn’t kiss her. He wouldn’t let himself touch her either, worried if he did he wouldn’t stop.

The first time he’d dreamwalked into her mind it had been an accident. He hadn’t done it in so long he forgot the signs, how everything felt just a little off, the lack of environmental control. He’d thought it was his own dream.

She was there, reading against Rose Quartz’s tree, in a field of baby pink wheat. She’d leaned back against him instead of the tree and he ran his hands through her hair, holding fistfuls in his hands. He’d buried his face in her neck and kissed along the line of her shoulder.

When he wasn’t able to will them into doing more, that’s when he knew.

By then it was too late.

And Pink Diamond saw an opportunity.

For the past several days he’d see the librarian during the day as Steven Universe. And every night he’d slip into her dreams as Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond had no issues going about doing what Steven Universe only dreamed of doing awake. He’d batter her defenses down and convince her to beg for him. Each time Pink Diamond would set out into her dreams, intent on getting her fealty. And each time he’d abandon the fealty plot and lose himself in her, Steven’s desires bleeding into him. He’d fall prey to his own schemes, of driving her so mad with pleasure she’d speak the oath he wanted so badly to hear.

She dreamed and he kissed her senseless under the pier, memorized the taste of her skin on his spaceship, and had her deliciously just now in Rose’s room. He licked his lips faintly, eyes burning pink as he thought of her. He was powerless to stop, didn’t want to stop.

Perhaps this was for the best. At least there he couldn’t hurt her accidentally. He could take and take and not worry about losing control. She could go on thinking Steven Universe was a perfect gentleman by day and by night he could indulge himself in every lustful thought under the cover of her dreams and the facade of Pink Diamond. It was the perfect set up, really. Well, minus the lack of sleep.

“Hey dude, you awake?” Amethyst asked, poking her head up the stairs.

He blinked hard, willing control back. Stars, he really needed to hurry up and get his own place. He was far too old and far too horny anymore for an open loft room. He calmed down just as she got close to him.

“Yeah just woke up. What’s up?” He sighed.

“Got plans?” She asked casually, excitement palpable.

“Nah.” He sighed. He’d wanted to take the coldest shower possible but it was clear Amethyst had an agenda.

“Oh really? You aren’t hanging out with your _girlfriend_?” She asked, tone curling teasingly around the title. He flushed hotly.

“She’s hanging out with Connie. It’s a girl’s night.” He informed the pint sized Gem.

“Sweet! Pearl’s out making googily eyes at Bismuth. That means you and me can watch….” She trailed off excitedly before thrusting a DVD into his face. “Kaiju Kong!”

“Isn’t there some cheesy romance in this?” He asked skeptically, eyebrow raising. The cover had a wilting girl trapped in the fist of a giant primate on top of the Empire City Building. All signs pointed to yes.

“Eh who cares about _that_ junk? I wanna see a giant monkey fight a T-Rex!” Amethyst whooped, stars in her eyes as she punched the air excitedly.

“Yeah, alright I’m in.” Steven shrugged. Amethyst lunged for his TV set up at the foot of his bed, a ferocious yell of victory sounding. “You’re on snack duty! Popcorn, stat.” She demanded. He vaulted off the top of his loft, bounded off the couch, and floated down into the kitchen. He rummaged through a cabinet, finding popcorn, and tossed the microwaveable packet into the microwave.

He heard the main menu start up with the roar of a gorilla and he felt himself relax.

Maybe this was just the kind of distraction he needed.

One hour into the movie later, and it turned out this was not, in fact, the distraction that Steven needed. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach but he kept watching anyway, riveted.

For one thing, the actress had long curly waves of hair that reminded him way too much of the librarian. For another, he remembered what it felt like to shapeshift into a giant angry beast so Kong was empathetic, not terrifying.

It turns out both Steven and Amethyst ad been right. There was an epic fight between Kaiju Kong and not one, but three, T-rexes.

It had earned a star-eyed _I’m so shapeshifting into one next battle_ from Amethyst.

It was _also_ a love story between the long haired actress and some putsch writer. He was trying to save her from, who Pink Diamond deemed was her real love, Kaiju Kong.

_They’re not in love. He kidnapped her._

_…For her own protection._

When it came time for the actress to be sacrificed to Kong, he could feel a restlessness in his Gem at seeing her tied up, dangling for the taking. He almost groaned.

He was not into this sort of thing, he told himself sternly. The actress struggled, squirming. He was a good, wholesome guy.

_But what if…_

_No!_

Another hour later and Amethyst was angrily yelling at the movie, flinging the empty bowl at the top of the television set with a _dink_. “Level the city Kong! You’re better than this. Humans suck!”

“Amethyst!” Steven scolded.

“What? They do suck in this movie!”

Her phone rang abruptly, interrupting their discussion, and Amethyst answered it.

“Y’ello?” She asked, sinking back into a lounge against the beanbag chair at the foot of Steven’s bed. A pause.

Steven could faintly hear the other side of the conversation. It sounded like Connie.

“I’m with Garnet and the librarian. Got any fire salt?”

“Yeah I’ve still got some, why? You want it?” Amethyst asked.

“We’re making curry and we like it spicy. Garnet said you’d hook us up. How bout a plate in exchange?”

“You want me to bring the heat? I gotchu. There better be enough for me and Steven though. That cool?” Amethyst asked, raising a brow.

“For sure!”

“You good to go buddy?” Amethyst looked over at Steven who was brimming with tears over the movie ending.

“Yesss!” He sobbed.

It had not been a happy ending. Why couldn’t they just let the giant monster get what he wanted?

“Suhweeeet! See ya!” She yelled, hanging up and tossing her phone over her shoulder.

“Come on, you sap. Pull it together. We’re going to go see Connie and your lady friend and burn our taste buds off.” 

* * *

“Connie! Why did you invite Steven over?” The librarian hissed as soon as she hung up.

She hadn’t planned on seeing him tonight.

She was still mad but hadn’t ruminated for hours on what she was going to say yet.

She was still in sweat pants.

This was a disastrous set up.

“Because I'm calling the shots tonight and he's my best friend. Besides you two need to talk.” Connie exclaimed, making very good points.

“I hate you.” The librarian moaned, sliding off the couch to the floor dramatically.

“You shouldn’t have mettled, Connie. They’ll talk when she’s ready.” Garnet weighed in.

“Mhm, and when would that have been?” Connie asked, turning her gaze to the girl on the floor.

Garnet went to open her mouth and Connie pointed at her, “Don’t answer that.”

Sullen silence from the librarian was her answer.

“That’s what I thought. Now shoo! Go shower and put on something cute. Garnet and I will start the curry.” Connie stated, hands on hips. The librarian drug herself off the floor and slunk out of the living room.

But not before a passing, “You sound like your mom right now.”

Connie let out an indignant huff, “I heard that!”

“Good!”

Twenty minutes later the librarian exited her bathroom, donned in a sundress and a short sleeved cardigan, sulking but refreshed. The shower had certainly helped. Add in the under eye concealer and she looked rejuvenated. She made her way up the hall and into the kitchen, greeted with loud conversation between Amethyst and Garnet.

“Dude, I can’t believe they suckered you into watching that. Isn’t it for kids?”

Connie pointed her wooden spoon at the short Gem accusingly, “Hey! _Pretty Soldier Space Bunny_ is an animated genre defining classic and there will be no blasphemy under this roof. Come on Steven back me up, I know you read the manga.” Connie asked, tossing a glance at him.

He was lounging on a barstool, his half lean on the countertop pulling his t-shirt in ways across his chest that the librarian decided should be illegal, given his current standings with her.

"The costumes were cool.” He sulked. The librarian breezed into her own kitchen, peaking around Garnet. Garnet had wrestled the spoon away from Connie and was tending the curry pot almost robotically. Connie had told her to stir and she would.

"Tell me about it. Tuxedo Knight made me disappointed that men didn't just walk around in a penguin suit all the time." The librarian sighed in lament.

Steven raised an eyebrow, "Didn't he never do anything but get kidnapped and die?"

She added his hot take to reasons she should be mad at him, despite the way his eyes sparkled with mirth and that the sight of his amused half grin made her stomach flutter.

"You hush. He was Princess Bunny's morale boost and eye candy. It was a very important job." She sniffed, freeing the spoon from Garnet and taste testing the pot. Garnet edged out of the kitchen, relief apparent.

"Not just Princess Bunny's apparently." Steven commented wryly, amused at her defensiveness. 

“Leave my taste in animated men alone." She grumbled, fiddling with the spice cabinet and tweaking the curry pot accordingly. 

“You’re looking refreshed. Feeling better?” Connie asked, smugness palpable as she saddled up next to her in front of the stove. The librarian extended her the spoon and Connie licked it, nodding her approval.

“I might be.” The librarian muttered testily, not enjoying the palpable smugness Connie radiated at being right. She scowled, turning her attention elsewhere.

“I thought you were bringing the heat, Am?”

“Girl, you know I did. We’re adding individually and sparing Steven.” Amethyst said, jumping up and ruffling Steven’s hair. He laughed, grabbing her and tossing her one handed over onto the couch.

“The rice will be finished in five minutes.” Garnet intoned.

“Man, I wish Pearl was here.” Connie sighed. They were almost at a full house.

“Give her a call, I don’t mind.” The librarian shrugged.

Connie tilted her head. “You sure?”

“Oh, _now_ you want my opinion?”

Connie smirked and fished her phone out of her pocket, dialing.

“Hey! Pearl! What are you up to?” She stepped out and into the dining room where it was quieter. Amethyst and Garnet were still fighting over _Pretty Soldier Space Bunny_ in the living room.

That left Steven and the librarian in the kitchen. Alone.

She was mad, but seeing him in person so soon… He quirked a brow at her, brown eyes dark as he stared at her. All her arguments scrambled in her head like a tangle of string. Her tongue was in knots.

A thousand things rushed through her head to say.

But what left her mouth was: “Uh… Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” He murmured, eyes trailing down her form, “Nice dress.”

Her face erupted into a red that rivaled a tomato. She turned away, giving the curry a half stir and fiddling with the burner knob on her stove. She tried to rally her courage in the face of the signature Universe charm over the stove pot.

She was mad at him. _Mad!_

“This was a nice thing you did. Throwing all this together for Connie.” The voice was in her ear once more, low and smooth. So soon after her dream it was too much. He wasn’t touching her but she could feel him, his presence radiating at her back.

“It was supposed to be just us but it got out of hand. Garnet got her timelines confused.” Steven’s brow furrowed at this. Why had Garnet shown up? What had she said to her?

Before he could ask the rice cooker beeped. She had extricated herself from in front of him and made her way to the cooker quickly, not looking him in the eye.

The front door opened, wavering on its hinges as Bismuth strolled through the front door, Pearl in tow. “Big P! What up?” Amethyst cheered. The librarian smiled, Connie materializing from around the corner.

“Rose Knight!” Bismuth cheered, wrapping Connie in a hug. “Congrats on your final battle. Pearl was explaining this human custom of ‘dissertation’ to me. It sounds fearsome.”

“Just submitted it this afternoon.” Connie confirmed. Bismuth set her down.

“Rice is done!” The librarian called. Pearl entered the kitchen, nervous expression apparent.

“Bismuth and I don’t eat but Connie called…” She trailed politely. “Are gifts customary at these kind of human gatherings?” There was a hum, a glow of light, and Pearl reached into the gem in her forehead, retrieving a roll of toilet paper and handing it to the bewildered librarian.

“It’s good to see you, Pearl.” The librarian laughed, setting the roll aside. “You didn’t have to bring me anything, this is all for Connie really.” She grinned, smile fading slightly, “Although I feel bad we’re eating and you’re not. Are you sure I can’t get you something? Tea?” She asked.

Pearl smiled but shook her head demurely, “No, no. This is a lovely home you have though. So many books...” Pearl trailed. She fought the urge to sort them. 

The interior of the librarian's home was a mix of retro and thrift, from the teal couch to the scarlet wingbacked chair. Books were stacked over nearly every hard surface. Despite that it felt warm, cozy rather than messy.

The librarian smiled, “It’s not much. I’m just renting from my Uncle. This is nothing though, you should see the library in the attic.”

“Can’t get enough books, eh?” Bismuth intoned, smiling. The large grey and rainbow Gem appeared suddenly, looming behind Pearl, “That sounds like someone else I know.”

Pearl blushed, “I really would love to see.”

“After dinner.” The librarian promised. Steven smiled, taking a look around the house filled with his family and friends. Connie squeezed her way through the narrowing path in the kitchen and grabbed plates. Amethyst vaulted up onto the counter, fire salt tube in hand. She crouched, awaiting dishes like a spice gargoyle.

“You must be Bismuth.” The librarian smiled up at the broad Gem.

“And you must be Steven’s librarian.”

Steven fidgeted, not admitting how much he enjoyed the title, “S-She's not my…”

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Bismuth continued, reaching her hand out. She shook it politely.

“All good things, I hope.”

There was a gleam in Bismuth’s eye now, “Of course. You’re all Steven talks about.”

“Oh-Okay! I think it’s time to eat, don’t you?” Steven interrupted the two nervously, blushing.

The Gem exchanged a smile with the librarian, but it faded as she turned.

This girl? This is who was causing Rose Quartz’s son to panic in her armory and demand she build a weapon?

The plates were handed out and the food portioned for humans and partaking Gems. Amethyst spiced according to her heart rather than request. The group settled in at the bar countertop and the couch, plates full and eyes shining.

Connie took the first bite, eyes nearly watering and face turning red. The librarian was not much better. Amethyst slid the whole plate’s contents into her mouth and let out a burp of actual fire that nearly ignited the lace curtains. Steven, a sane individual who knew better than to let Amethyst anywhere near his food through years of experience, was unscathed.

The night progressed, a steady stream of conversation pockets and laughter wove its way through the cozy cottage on the beach. There had been stories swapped and songs sung.

But Steven could not shake the itch, the feeling that something loomed.

His first clue had been when the librarian did not touch him. He had a personal policy against such contact but that never stopped her from bumping against him, ruffling his hair. Tonight there was none of that. In fact, she barely spoke to him, engaging with Pearl, with Connie, anyone as soon as he drew closer to her.

Connie was also not meeting his eye, historically a bad sign.

Something was off. And he had a sneaking suspicion Garnet was to blame.

Currently, Pearl was red faced trying to explain her copy of _Facets_ to Garnet in front of an amused Bismuth. The stout purple Gem eyed up Connie, mischief blooming in her eyes.

“So Connie… I heard Bismuth call you the Rose Knight earlier. You sure you can still be called that if you never spar anymore?” Amethyst baited.

“I don’t need to spar regularly to be able to take you, Teach.” Connie countered smoothly.

“I thought Pearl was your sword instructor?” The librarian interjected.

“For all that fancy footwork and boring form stuff, sure. If she wanted a real challenge, then that’s when she came to me.” Amethyst smirked.

“Hmph. You’re still calling that back ally tussling you two used to do _training_?” Pearl sniffed.

“Better than that twirling ballet garbage you teach. Talk about style over substance.”

“It’s a disciplined art form. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Why you…” Amethyst growled.

Steven rolled his eyes and the librarian laughed, “I’m almost disappointed I wasn’t around back then. I would have loved to have seen you guys fight. It sounds incredible.”

The grin was back and growing on Amethyst’s face now, “You heard her, Maheswaran. You know you want to blow off some steam anyway after that disser… _whatever_ of yours. Wanna tussle?” She asked, earning a sour expression from Pearl.

“This is unwise.” Garnet warned them sagely.

“I don’t have my sword. I haven’t seen Lion around lately.” Connie deflected.

“I can call him.” Steven chirped, bounding up and hanging himself out the open front door.

“Lion!” He yelled. There was a collective silence as the house stared at him. Nothing happened.

Steven hung his head and sighed. He inhaled deeply before letting out a call in Gemspeak that rattled the stones of the Gems and set the teeth of every human on edge: _“Lion!!”_

There was a swirling of a pink portal and suddenly a four hundred pound pink lion slid through it and on through the glass coffee table, shattering it. His mane was a lighter pink, looking like swirls and tuffs of cotton candy.

“Oops.” Steven stated flatly, chancing a glance over at the librarian who was too dumbfounded by the animal for words. She blinked, dimly registering the shattered table.

“Ehhh… This many Gems under one roof? We were bound to break something sooner or later.” Bismuth intoned.

“I’ll get you a new one.” Steven assured her. The librarian ignored him, eyes shining still at the sight of Lion, who only yawned, looking around in disinterest.

“Who cares about the table? There’s a pink lion in my living room.” She hissed, approaching him slowly. Lion stared at her pointedly for a moment before deciding the rug was more appealing. He circled his tail a few times before plopping down on a few throw pillows, eyes closing. She inched closer to him, eyes shining, and at Steven’s nod she ran her fingers through the silk of his mane.

“His name is Lion.”

“Lion, huh? Real creative on the name front.” She teased, making a face.

“I was eight.” He sulked, but secretly felt relieved to see her smile at him, talk to him, for the first time since the kitchen.

He sighed and then unceremoniously shoved his hand into Lion’s mane up to his shoulder, fishing around through a smaller swirl of light. The librarian jerked her hands back, suddenly very aware the pink lion was magic.

“It should be in here somewhere…” He trailed off. He took a deep breath and threw his face into the mane vortex as well. He spied Connie's sword and he grabbed it, pulling himself and the sword and scabbard free with a gasp. Back in the librarian’s living room he inhaled again.

“Found it!” He stated triumphantly, tossing the scabbard to Connie who caught it deftly.

“Oh yeah!” She cheered, “Let’s do this.”

“Outside!” The librarian interjected immediately, fearful of book damage.

“I hate to stomp you at your own party, but if you think I’m gonna go easy on ya, think again.” Amethyst grinned, throwing herself around Connie’s shoulders. She ruffled her hair, earning a screech from Connie, and bolted out the door, the human hot on her heels.

The Gems followed, the librarian trailing when she felt a hand on her wrist, stopping her in the doorway. With numb shock she realized he was actually touching her. His expression was dire.

Steven held her, “What's wrong? Did Garnet say something to you?”

She let out a slightly manic laugh, “Wrong? Nothing's wrong! What makes you think anything is wrong?” Steven sighed, releasing her wrist to run a hand through his curls, frustrated.

“I thought I was a terrible liar but you are _the worst_.”

She swallowed thickly, “Seriously. I'm fine! Come on, I don't want to miss Connie's fight.” Her smile was small, barely a flicker. She was also fidgeting.

Steven crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow, “You realize I wrote the book on this tactic, right?”

The librarian's bright expression dropped completely and she groaned, “This is Connie's party. We can’t have this conversation now. We can talk later.”

Steven reached ahead of her, pushing the door closed. His hand lingered on the doorframe ahead of her as he leaned into her personal space.

“They won't miss us. Spill. What did Garnet see?” His voice was against her ear again. An hour ago, a dream plane ago, she found it seductive. Now it just made her mad.

She knew he was like this, relentless once he set his mind on something. She didn't want to have this conversation now. Much like dreams, he didn't respect that either.

“Garnet is not to blame here Steven.” She stated, her voice cool as she turned to face him.

She could see the realization dawn, “What, I am?”

He looked uncomfortable now. Guilty, even. Her eyes narrowed, “Answer me this one question: Have you been Dreamwalking into my head?”

He couldn't meet her eye. “Umm… M-Maybe we should go watch the fight.”

He turned away but she stepped in front of him, eyes burning, “I don't think so, Steven. You pushed for this so… Let's discuss.”

He felt his heart sink as she continued on, “You didn't tell me that dreamwalking was something you could even do! Never mind the fact you used it to… Take advantage of me.”

Steven glared at her now, incredulous. “Take advantage?” He repeated, laughing harshly. He was not Kevin. They were not the same.

“Oh no… No, no.” He stated flatly, “I kept my promise. You gave consent. _Very_ eager consent.” His voice dropped low at the memory, eyes a rich chocolate as he stared down at her.

If possible her face burned a brighter red, “No! I thought it was a dream! A _personal_ dream of my _own_ creation, not yours. In fact, I specifically remember you using the words ‘it's just a dream’ to me. Maybe you're a better liar than you think you are.”

“I didn't….” He protested faintly. Had he?

She stormed away from him, pacing now, “You are infuriating… You know, I hope mind reading is in your wheelhouse too. That way you can hear all the creative insults I have for _people who barely let me sleep for three days!_ ”

He winced. He was half Gem, so the lack of sleep wasn't quite at his narcolepsy inducing threshold yet. He could see it now in her though, the circles barely concealed under her eyes, the bleary way she glared at him.

“Alright, I'll admit it wasn't my brightest plan but I could touch you in there! I couldn't hurt you.” He crossed his arms. It sounded selfish once he said it out loud.

“But I could still swear fealty! You think Pink Diamond gives a hoot what plain of consciousness I swear my free will away on?” She spat, clenched fists giving way to open fingers as she flung her hands up.

Steven froze, “Oh. I didn't…. You know about…”

“Yeah I do, Steven. And you know what the messed up part is? It doesn't bother me nearly as bad as the dreamwalking. At least with fealty I have a _choice_. But invading my subconscious? You didn't even ask!” Her hands dropped at this. Steven felt like the air from his lungs left with it. He thought back to their first date, of his promise to himself not to break her trust.

“The first time was a mistake.” He admitted “But the rest… I couldn't stop.”

“Why?” She asked faintly.

Steven raised a hand, fingers hovering above the skin of her cheek, lingering for a moment before dropping, “I don't trust myself to touch you. But in dreams I do. It's an urge. The more we see each other the stronger it's gotten.”

“Then maybe we shouldn't see each other for a bit.” Her words echoed, shooting through him like a white hot lance of pain. He tried to fight the mounting sense of panic he felt. His ears were ringing.

She was still talking, he faintly realized, “Steven, I'm crazy about you… But you controlling yourself is up to _you_. That's a trust you have to have with yourself. You are stronger than whatever Gem crap is making you feel that way.”

“Not… see you? I don't… You don't want that.” He protested weakly, with shaky laughter, feeling like he was dazed. He reached out, forgetting his own rule and grabbing her by the shoulders.

“I don't. But if you can't control your powers, maybe it's for the best right now? I don't want to make this worse. For whatever reason I'm what's causing you to struggle. Maybe Pearl was right…” She trailed. Tears were flowing down his cheeks now. She reached up to wipe them away and he flashed pink, flickering into magenta.

“No! No… I can control it….” He gasped, grabbing her hands tightly, rubbing his face against them now. There was a flare of power that seemed to push out like air. He could do this. He could… He could…

She tried to pull her hands back and it was the wrong thing to do.

He looked down at her, eyes flashing pink. His grip on her became like a vise.

“Steven… Steven, stop.” She breathed, nerves raising. From behind her back there was a rumbling growl. The interdimmensional giant cat wound his way between them, snout wrinkling as he let out a warning snarl.

“Lion?” She asked, momentarily distracted.

It didn't last long. There was a pulse like the beat of a heart, Steven’s hand feeling hot, his eyes like pink lasers as she felt _something_ trying to sink into her. It was like when she could feel his voice touching her only this time it was trying to shove its way under her skin. She gasped and his grip tightened, “You can't… You don't want to leave.”

She shuddered, eyes closing, a pink haze threatening to overtake her. It tried to strong-arm into her senses, invade her mind like a fog. Her brows knitted and she tried to cling to her clear thoughts, “I don't. But thats my decision, not yours.”

Lion’s snarling next to her was reaching a crescendo.

“Then don’t leave me! Stay here. Stay mine.” He jerked her hands closer to him and Lion forced his way between them, stopping her momentum. Steven’s gaze on her burned hot, the pressure of the air around her thick. He was glowing now, his skin his eyes, a brilliant magenta. She winced, head turning away from him, away from the blaze of pink.

“No! I don’t belong to you! I don’t belong to anybody!”

There was a flash of light so bright it shattered the windows and knocked all of them apart.

Steven stumbled back, fascinated with the rainbow spectrum dispersal of every shade of pink he had ever seen. They danced and sparkled off the walls, on every surface like a disco ball refracting a pink light.

The librarian slammed into her bookcase with a force that splintered the shelving, before crumbling to the floor.

“Oh no… No, no, no, no, no!” Steven Universe breathed, clarity rushing through him and the pink hue fading from his skin. He froze, seeing her crumpled on top of shattered glass and a mess of broken wood and books. He'd lost control. When had that happened? One moment she had said… _Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a bit…_ And then… His stomach dropped.

“Steven? What happened?” Connie stood in the doorway, taking in the destruction of the living room. Steven looked like he was teetering on shaky ground, unable to do anything but stare.

The librarian was dazed, lolling in and out of unconsciousness. In the center of her chest shone a clear light, so bright and dazzling, reminding Connie of a chandelier in warm sunlight.

“Steven? What the…”

“Dude.” Amethyst breathed.

“Connie?” The librarian asked weakly, the light dying down.

Lion was next to her, pacing in front of the prone librarian and he stared pointedly at Connie, spurring her into scrambling over to the injured librarian. Connie looked her over, years of first aid training and second hand doctor advice from her mom kicking in. She didn't show any obvious wounds save for her hands and wrists, an angry red.

The light receded into her chest once more and she fainted.

Behind her she could hear Steven stammering. “I turned pink… but I was me. I… I tried to force her.. Oh no. _Oh shit…_ Pearl! Pearl, I messed up!” Pearl was next to him, wide eyed. She looked over to Bismuth but murmured assurances to Steven, her hand rubbing gently on his back.

“Steven, breathe. It's okay. She's okay, right Connie?” Bismuth stated evenly, hand on the panicking hybrid’s shoulder.

Connie nodded, “I think she just passed out.”

“ _It's not okay!_ She said we shouldn't see each other and I snapped. Oh stars, I tried to force my will on her. I tried fealty.” He hissed, feeling sick. In his panic of her not wanting to see him, he'd desperately tried to seep his will out and into her. Just for a moment, just to make her understand. And then the stream slipped out of his control, flowing out of him like a tidal wave and into her like a tsunami. He’d tried fealty when he wasn't even Pink Diamond.

Pearl let out a breath surveying the damage, “You did all this?”

“N-No. There was this light and I just…” He trailed off.

“That… was not your light.” Garnet stated. All eyes stared at the girl, passed out in Connie's grip. The light had receded but a little shimmer and flecks of it still hung in the air around her. Lion curled next to her, a low whine as he set his head in her lap.

Perhaps not Team Human Beings after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled writing this chapter and tbh I've been so nervous to see the response that I've hesitated posting. 
> 
> Writing the fight with Steven was hard. Not only for dialogue, but I want this fic to examine relationships with Dom elements in a healthy way. There's so much unhealthy media about romanticizing abuse in relationships out there already. I settled on her power flare causing her injuries. But we all know Steven and you can fit so much angst inside that pink boi. People leaving is always a trigger for him. One they'll need to address. 
> 
> I also hope revealing the librarian is not #TeamHuman doesn't disappoint folks. But I think there needs to be a reason for why Steven has been acting the way he has that's more compelling than Local Man Sees Hot Lady. Til next time. xo


	6. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an interlude so it's a short ride this week.

She had the most confusing dreams, in the period of that time in the dark. She was shouting commands in battle. She was making out with a nameless stranger. She did it all with her eyes closed, with a competent assuredness that not only did she know what she was doing but she knew how to do it _very_ well.

It was a feeling she rarely had awake so she was enjoying it while it lasted.

Then her eyes were open and she was sitting on a wicker hooped back chair, sunlight streaming into the empty tea room. There was a black and white tiled floor and the rose table centerpiece seemed to wilt under her gaze. The woman across from her was a tumble of pink sausage curls and cherubic cheeks as she sipped from the floral china tea cup and saucer. There was something familiar about her. The librarian had the strangest sense of deja vu and then the pink woman was speaking.

“I am sorry to invade your dreams like this but I had to see you for myself. You’ve been asleep for so long and I was so very impatient. You understand.” The woman sighed in a saccharine sweetness. She seemed to be relishing the moment.

“Well… At least _you_ apologized.” The librarian sniffed a bit, taking a sip of her tea. She was pleased to find a rose oolong in her cup, the temperature and sugar level just so to her liking.

“Hm, yes. The Diamond boy. Not ideal. You could do so much better.” Her expression was pinched, tone dripping in thinly veiled disapproval. The expression had thrown the librarian off identifying the woman initially, but as the librarian squinted it started to dawn. “Although I suppose, to each their own taste. In any rate… Let us get down to business. I dislike being in your debt but it seems you did do me a favor in the end, after all.”

Wonder seeped into her face, “You’re Rose Quartz.”

The pink woman, newly identified as Steven’s mother, took a sip from her tea and then laughed.

It was a haughty sound at odds with her soft, caring demeanor.

“My… Is that how I appear to you? How droll.” The Rose Quartz doppelgänger mused dryly over the edge of her tea.

Her brow furrowed, “There is something different about you, though. _Ah_ … You aren’t really awake yet, are you?” The disappointment in her was palpable and the librarian could sense that what limited warmth had been present in the woman’s demeanor was now completely absent.

“Oh. So… You aren’t Steven’s mother.”

She found she knew less and less lately but of this she was absolutely sure. Why was she here? Where was here? In fact, she didn’t recall traveling here or what she had been doing. Every time she got close to remembering it was like the thought slipped free, just out of reach.

“Hmph. Certainly not.” The disdain practically dripped.

“Then who are you?” The librarian countered, tone sharp. She didn’t feel that this Anti Rose Quartz was a threat but she felt unease all the same. It wasn’t like she stood much of a chance if she was in danger. She decided to continue to sip her tea far casually than she felt.

“Oh dear. If you don’t know _that_ then what use to me are you?” Anti-Rose sighed morosely without an ounce of any of the maternal graces the librarian felt the real Rose Quartz would have overflowed in abundance.

“Probably none but my compliments on the tea all the same.” The librarian stated frankly. It was just her luck that this... manifestation would appear as a demented version of her ~~boyfriend~~ … ~~ex-boyfriend's~~... _Steven's_ mother.

“To see you reduced to this… No memories. No powers.” There was a morose pause, “Terribly inconvenient.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” The librarian commiserated, “Why don’t you fill me in?”

“Hm, well… Let me think. This does complicate things.” Another pause, “Unfortunately I had rather counted on you being awake and well… _functional_. But as you’re not, I have problems of my own and frankly I don’t have the time. I’m sure you’ll sort it. Until then, try not to draw attention to yourself.” Anti-Rose advised her smoothly. The librarian’s mouth dropped open in outrage.

“Excuse me. _You don’t have the time?_ We are on an astral plane and have nothing but!”

At this Anti-Rose scoffed and the librarian’s gaze became a squint, “Don’t you owe me some kind of favor? I apparently helped you. An answer or two would be nice.” The librarian set her tea cup down and leveled Anti-Rose with her sternest look, a mimc of Pearl’s.

“Perhaps if you were the same version of yourself who helped me. But as it stands, you are _not_.” Anti-Rose pointed out with a haughty dip of her chin.

“Well I don’t really see myself cashing in on that favor any other way.” The librarian prompted.

“A fair point. However, answers are trivial if you don’t have the power to act on them. No, my dear, the best you’ll get from me is turning a blind eye. The rest is up to you.” Anti-Rose decided swiftly, her eyebrows arching high as she savored another sip.

“That’s it?” The librarian asked incredulously.

“It’s more than you realize. Now, I really should be going and you should wake up.” She hummed a few notes, colors starting to bleed and the librarian stood up abruptly.

“Hold on just a minute. You seriously aren’t going to help me?” The colors popped back solid for a moment as a look of surprise registered on Anti-Rose’s features.

“Why should I?” She stated coldly. There was a sneer now, “ _Help you._ ” She rolled the repeated phrase around, distaste obvious. “Hmph. You are _definitely_ not her.”

“But I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be!” The librarian protested, feeling like she was losing an argument despite only being given half the rulebook and no facts.

At her look of panicked helplessness Anti-Rose merely made a tutting noise.

“Start at the beginning.” The woman stated. “Now… Wake up!”

The colors ran much faster now like paint oozing off a wet easel. She felt like she was falling, swimming in darkness, and then she woke up in her bed. Everything was a blur without her glasses and she could sense movement around her. She recognized the fuzzy warble coming from the blur of teal, paleness, and blonde though.

“Pearl?” 

* * *

The following morning her phone rang and she let it go to voicemail.

The librarian sat in her empty house waiting for Garnet to arrive as Pearl had stated she was the next babysitter in line. Exactly why she was receiving a rotation of the Crystal Gems and _not_ their leader still was a sore spot. 

The quiet in her home was stark in the aftermath of Connie's party. It seemed to stretch out over her, deafening.

Strange, it had never bothered her before.

The glass was gone, the books back on the repaired shelf. Pearl had spent the night prior, the tidying undoubtedly her work.

The Crystal Gem had given her soup, helped her shower, and then eased her back into bed. She had spent the rest of the evening in the wing backed chair at her bedside, reading as the librarian nodded in and out of sleep. Pearl had been incredibly nurturing and gentle but a weight hung in the air. The elephant was in the room and yet...

Pearl had answered the bare minimum - That Steven was unharmed. That she’d been unconscious after their fight for two days. But he wasn’t here. Why wasn’t he here? Pearl’s answer had cut like a knife.

_Because he doesn’t want to be._

The librarian hid her tears from the Gem, holding them until she felt like she'd burst. Sheltered by the privacy of her shower she cried huddled in the bottom of her bathtub until the water beating down on her back started to run cold. It wasn’t intentional but the conversation with Pearl carried a distinct vibe of _I Told You So_ that made her feel small. From then on the subject of Steven was as absent from conversation as he was from her home.

The librarian's emotions on his absence varied from anger, to worry, to relief.

She sighed, looking at her living room. Her windows were permanently open now it seemed. She really should board them up before it rained. Her brow furrowed. 

_Start at the beginning_ , Anti-Rose Quartz had told her. But what beginning had she meant?

She walked to her piano bench and sat. She curled her hair behind her right ear and began to tap an easy rhythm, her fingers waffling for a moment between one key and another.

She inhaled shakily for a moment and then:

> _I guess I have to face, that_
> 
> _in this awful place, I_
> 
> _shouldn't show a trace... of doubt._
> 
> _But pulled against the grain, I_
> 
> _feel a little pain, that_
> 
> _I would rather do... without._

“He didn’t mean to you know.” The smooth voice of the leader of the Crystal Gems drifted in. Garnet had let herself in. The librarian momentarily wavered on the ivory but kept playing. She swallowed thickly.

Pearl must have mentioned to Garnet the lack of discussion about Steven.

“He’s a grown man, Garnet. Don’t make excuses for him.” There was a bruise and a burn around her wrist, the skin mottled purple and red as she held them above the keys. Her back ached as she sat, the result of taking the full impact of a bookcase. She knew these things had been the byproduct of her power flare.

But Steven had tried… Tried to do something he swore he never would.

It was fealty. It had to have been fealty.

She could still feel it, that feeling trying to shove under her skin and it raised gooseflesh on her arms. No, an apology was owed. A discussion between them still needed to take place. Weariness sunk into her down to her bones. She hated discussions like that.

Not that it mattered since _he didn’t want to be here._

Garnet drew closer to her, listening to her rhythm. It was a melancholy tune but it was full of longing, lament, and grief. The librarian instrumentally riffed, resolutely not looking up to the tall fusion.

“I’m not. Even if he lost control… It’s no excuse. Steven knows what he did was wrong. He’ll apologize to you. When he’s ready.”

“And I’ll listen. When I’m ready.” She countered.

Garnet nodded sagely, sitting next to her on the bench. She tapped out an answering rhythm, the two speaking through music.

_Don’t you blame me too?_

_Don’t do this to yourself._

The librarian tipped her head back, letting Garnet take over. The sound that left her lips was smokey and full, a hazy murmur of lyrics:

> _I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free..._
> 
> _I'd rather be free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free..._
> 
> _Free-ee-ee, free-ee-ee, free... from here._

Garnet’s last note wavered. She leaned her head against the fusion’s shoulder. She should be embarrassed but instead all she felt was a profound sense of relief of not being alone and not being blamed. She crumbled and Garnet let her sag against her. That steady hand was on her back again. She felt tears brimming again and she cried as the Gem held her.

“It’ll be okay.” Garnet promised her, “You aren’t alone.”

“It feels that way.”

“This is not the end. Not of you and not of Steven. You will both come back from this and you will be stronger for it. Don’t lose sight of what matters.”

The librarians phone rang again.

She sniffed, wiping her cheeks clean. The Crystal Gem’s hug slipped and she pulled back. She gave her a watery smile but made no move to answer it. There were so many things she wanted to ask Garnet, so many questions about who she was, what she was, what had happened.

“You know what I saw… When I dreamed?” The librarian finally said and Garnet nodded.

“I can’t tell you who she is. But I can help with everything else.” Garnet assured her.

“She said to start at the beginning.”

The Gem nodded some more, “You need to take a trip. And I need to go with you.” 

The librarian swallowed thickly.

Oh. That beginning.

She didn’t know the fusion’s reason but she knew better than to argue. Her phone continued to ring a gentle jingle of bells.

She shared a look with Garnet before she pressed the green button and answered her phone.

“Hi Dad. It’s me. I think I need to come home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this angst hors d'oeuvres wasn't a full course. It's been A Week for me. I wasn't entirely happy with this interlude but finally I just decided to pull the trigger and post. It will be made up for in the next two chapters (which are written!) in which Shit Actually Gets Real. So hold on to your butts. 
> 
> Further notes: Escapism is the work of Rebecca Sugar.


	7. Garnet, Part III

Connie Maheswaran sat in the backseat of the tiny blue Volkswagen, sitting crossed legged on the middle hump and peering up between the passenger side and the driver seat. Garnet, Connie, and the librarian had set out that morning for Empire City, a road trip for the purpose of going to visit her parents. It had been a fun trip of loud music sing alongs, rolled down windows, and a pitstop for specialty burgers only found in The City. The cheer of earlier however was rapidly dwindling as she turned the corner onto her street and parallel parked across from it. Looking at her front door, the librarian could not decide which thing sounded less appealing at the moment: a talk with her parents or a talk with Steven Universe.

Not that the latter was speaking to her.

It was strange, the radio silence between them. Their relationship thus far had been a month of a steady stream of texting, of being around each other like a whirlwind of happiness. They had really rushed into things. But since the night of Connie’s party a week ago, neither had spoken. She forced herself not to glance at her phone again for the hundredth time that day.

“So this is it, huh?” Connie asked, the three of them staring out the windshield at the modest brownstone. Garnet, who was in the passenger seat, nodded once. Her anxiousness was apparent. The librarian refused to think too hard on those implications.

“Yup. This is where I grew up.” The librarian confirmed, fidgeting.

She hadn’t smoked a cigarette since that one semester in college but seeing her house again made the old urges come back. She loved her parents. But she hadn’t spoken to them since she moved to Beach City, since the fight, almost five months ago minus the phone call announcing her visit. Thus had been the ramifications of the fight they had the night before she left. She swallowed thickly.

“So are we going to go knock or..?” Connie trailed.

“I guess I should.” The librarian mumbled, opening her car door and getting out. The other two followed and the three of them crossed the street, walking up the stone steps.

On the landing, the librarian hesitated, closing her eyes and inhaling. She could do this.

She leaned in and knocked.

The black front door swung open seconds later, her Dad in the doorway, “Hi Sweet Pea.”

He smiled, just as he always did. She hadn’t even stepped in the door but she could smell the familiar tint of his aftershave and she felt her throat close up.

“Hi Dad.” She choked out, jumping forward and hugging him. He clutched her, eyes shining as well. Her Dad was tall with wavy shoulder length dark hair and kind brown eyes. He always wore dress slacks and a turtleneck.

“Gary, she’s home!” Her Dad yelled over his shoulder. Gary, her Pops, peaked around the corner from the kitchen, spectacles sliding down his nose. He was blonde, bearded and larger than life with the jovial attitude to match. He had large forearms and always wore a band tee and jeans. Today it was offset by an apron. She could smell ginger snaps drifting down the hall.

“Baby girl!” He exclaimed, running down the hall and wrapping her up into a hug. She winced, letting out a gasp, his forearms landing right on her bruise.

“Pops! My back! Please!” She gasped. Immediately he set her down, concern growing.

“What is it, what happened to you? Sweetheart, your eyes… What happened to your hands?” Her Pops asked, grabbing her forearms. The pink outline of bands around her wrists mottled with bruising had his dark brows furrowing, “David, did you see this?” He asked her Dad.

“Dad…Pops… I’m okay.” She insisted. “Can we come in?” She asked, motioning to her friends behind her. Her parents froze, seeing the others with her for the first time.

“These are my friends. This is Garnet and Connie.” She gestured to each of them. Connie gave a wave. Garnet looked like a statue.

“You.” Her Dad exclaimed, staring at Garnet, totally stupefied.

“I never thought we’d see you again.” Her Pops continued.

The librarian and Connie blanched, “Wait…What?!” 

* * *

_Twenty Three Years Earlier…_

“No. We’re not keeping it.” Garnet stated emphatically.

Amethyst, Garnet, and Pearl stood on the beach front of the temple, staring at the smoldering crater in the sand.

There was a small pod and in that pod sat what appeared to be a human child.

Giggling and laughing it cooed as it stared up at the three Crystal Gems.

“Ahw come on, what’s one more baby? Aren’t you supposed to have more than one so they can keep each other company?” Amethyst asked, tilting her head. “Besides, Steven likes it.” She pointed out.

Baby Steven, nearing his Terrible Twos and always into mischief, had crawled his way into the crater and was peering over the edge of the still sizzling spacecraft on his tip toes. His giant red star t-shirt lifted up from his plump ankles to his knees, eyes shining like stars.

“It’s a baby, not a cat.” Garnet intoned.

“Steven get out of there!” Pearl scolded, “Don’t touch strange spacecraft. You don’t know where it’s been.” She sniffed.

Steven only laughed, reaching a chubby arm into the cockpit.

The other baby cooed, grabbing a fist full of his curls. Steven pulled back, screaming in outrage, and the two came tumbling out of the spaceship head over heels and onto the sand.

“Uh… Garnet? Are babies supposed to do that?” Amethyst asked dryly. The baby from the spacecraft seemed to glitter when Steven touched it, something shimmering from within its chest, seeming to unwrap like furling ribbons.

“Ohhh no. No! Stop that!” Pearl stated flatly, grabbing Steven up and out of reach from the mysterious space infant. Both immediately began to well up with tears, wailing. The furling light from the baby receded and Garnet reached down, picking it up.

“What is it? A Gem?” Amethyst asked. Pearl and Garnet bounced their respective babies, the two looking at each other.

“With that light… Not exactly.” Garnet began carefully.

“It’s a Light Prism.” Pearl said, “Although I’ve never seen one take the form of a human before.”

“A Light Prism? What's that?” Amethyst asked, nose wrinkling.

“It’s a weapon. They’re given to high ranking Gems on Homeworld.” Pearl answered.

“It doesn’t seem dangerous to me. It seems like baby.” Amethyst countered, peering up at the squirming infant in Garnet’s hold.

“Maybe right now. You saw that light, Garnet. I don’t want it around Steven.” Pearl declared, trying to keep Steven from wriggling free of her hold. He was pointing at the space baby in Garnet’s hold, chubby hands grabbing.

“It _is_ a weapon. Greg’s book on human children does say we shouldn’t leave those where Steven could get them.” Garnet commented musingly.

Amethyst looked annoyed. “Ahw man, I wanted to teach Steven the whip. Ranged weapons are the best.”

“Hmph, _I’ll_ be teaching him the sword which has clear advantages to the whip.” Pearl stated with an air of superiority.

“Guys… No weapons.”

Even though it was clear to Garnet he’d be learning the gauntlet. He had an obvious affinity for smashing sand castles and food already.

“Ugh… Lame!” Amethyst groaned. “So what do we do with Not-Steven, here?”

“I might know someone.” Garnet trailed.

There had been a couple at the courthouse a few days ago. She had gone at Pearl’s urging that Steven needed some type of legal documents to establish him as an Earth resident. The two Gems, their fight with Homeworld still raw, wanted some assurance, something on paper they could argue to Zircons if it came down to it that Steven was the property of Earth. That venture had not gone well. But it seems it had not been a waste of time after all.

The couple had been there seeking adoption, in search of a child. The Gem could tell they were heartbroken at being rejected in their efforts. They seemed like nice people. They had mentioned they were from Empire City. That should be far enough away from Steven.

She bounced the baby, Not-Steven, in her arms, running a soothing hand along the back of its head. It already had thick, wavy hair, long for a baby. Not-Steven settled, staring up at Garnet with wide eyes. It was kind of cute, she supposed.

“I’ll be back.” Garnet stated, turning away from the two Gems and the baby half Gem.

Steven cried, reaching for Garnet and Not-Steven.

It hadn’t taken much and with a little Future Vision, Garnet had found the brownstone in Empire City. The two humans had opened their door to find Garnet, wrapped in a mysterious travelers cape for dramatic effect on their doorstep. Not-Steven was asleep in the crook of her right arm.

“I understand you would like a baby.” She said without preamble.

“Um…” the dark haired man trailed. The tall blonde with spectacles eyed her warily.

Garnet thrust her forward unceremoniously and Not-Steven woke up and began to cry. The man on the left took her immediately, eyes watering.

“David, we can’t just take a random infant.” Gary, the blonde, hissed, “It’s illegal.”

“So is us adopting, apparently.” David stated bitterly.

“You’ll take Not-Steven.” Garnet confirmed, eyebrows raised. That was easier than anticipated.

“Uh…If Not-Steven is the baby… Yes?” Gary asked, sharing a glance with David who nodded. Not-Steven cooed, happy to be comfortable again.

“Don’t you want to… I don’t know… Confirm we’re good people?”

“I know you are.” Garnet only stated, not elaborating. “You’ll take good care of her.”

“We will.” David confirmed, heart melting at the infant in his arms. She'd settled, beginning to doze. She let out a yawn.

“Do you.. um… want money?” Gary asked, uncomfortably.

“Gary!”

“What? I don’t know how the illegal baby trade works.”

Garnet shook her head, “No money. Just promise me you will never take her to Beach City.”

“Hm… My brother Hershel is from there but he always comes here for Thanksgiving anyway.” David mused aloud, glancing over at Gary.

Garnet made a move for Not-Steven and David quickly pulled out of her reach, “We promise! No Beach City!”

“Good.” Garnet nodded.

“No Gems, either.”

“Gems?” They both asked, confused.

“Alien race from space.” Garnet deadpanned. David and Gary shared a look.

“Oh. Is she a…?” David asked cautiously.

“No. But they’re dangerous for her. Keep her safe.”

“We will.” 

* * *

_Present Day..._

The living room was just as she remembered it, a cozy thing made up of leather and navy. Her Dad’s work as a linguist meant art and calligraphy prints the world round. Her Pop’s social work and love of bands contributed to the textbooks and vinyl. The mantle held three different replica swords from renaissance fairs past.

The librarian sat on her parents couch, Connie and Garnet next to her across from her parents.

“I’m going to assume I am the Not-Steven in that story.”

“Safe bet.” Connie muttered dryly.

“No wonder you two freaked out when I moved to Beach City.” She sighed.

“It was one of the two things she said _not to do_! We thought she was just some crazy lady at first. But then the next thing you know Gems are on the news and aliens are real. Beach City was national news, what with the giant hand attack and then with the Gem colony settling there…”

“Not that we have anything against Gems!” Her Dad cut in hastily.

“Garnet’s a Gem, by the way.” Connie clarified helpfully. Garnet gave a thumbs up.

“Checks out.” Pops trailed, eying up the incredibly tall fusion.

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?” The librarian asked Garnet.

“I didn't consider the possibility that you were Not-Steven until I saw your light. I thought you were just a human.”

“Yeah… Me too.”

Connie seemed concerned and shared a concerned glance with her Pops.

The librarian stood up suddenly. “I’ll um… be right back. Bathroom.” She said weakly around the lump in her throat.

“So just so we're clear… You're … not her mom?”

“Moms are a human construct.”

The librarian made her way up the stairs, past the family portraits and her school pictures. Upstairs she headed for the second door on the left and slipped inside. She flipped on the light, staring into her childhood bedroom.

It was exactly how she remembered it. There was a twin bed in the corner, science fiction posters slapped on powder blue walls. The comforter was fluffy, covered in cartoon clouds. She sat at her desk. Empty of her books, it didn't feel the same. There was a picture of her with her musical theater friends shoved in her mirror. Trophies from her piano competitions in elementary grades lined the top shelves. These were all the markers of a normal human childhood.

She swallowed thickly. She was human. She felt human.

Then again, what did being a Light Prism even feel like? Absently she touched her chest, hand hovering where the others had said the light had emerged.

She fished her cell phone out of her pocket and the screen lit up.

_No new notifications._

She wanted to text Steven. To call him and talk through what it meant to be raised a human and not be human. He'd probably have good advice. He wasn’t answering her calls though.

 _Three_ unanswered and unreturned phone calls had been all her dignity had allowed before it became painfully obvious he wasn’t speaking to her. He didn’t want to be around after she woke up, after all. She swallowed thickly.

She sighed, looking around her room. It was the same as always but now it felt poisoned, like she didn't deserve it.

She was torn from further thought when an explosion knocked her to her feet, shattering the glass and knocking trophies off shelves. Her glasses went askew and she adjusted them from her new spot face first on her shag rug, startled.

“…Dad! Pops!” Her voice trailed out, panic rising.

Silence.

“Connie? Garnet?” She called out.

She took the stairs down two at a time, nearly tripping in her fumbling to get to the main level. The front door and the living room were blasted open to the street, bricks crumbling and furniture overturned in a cloud of drywall dust and blaring car alarms.

“Where is it? Pink Diamond’s Light Prism? I know it’s here.” There was a haughty, manic voice coming from the street.

She nearly made it to the remnants of the living room when her Dad grabbed her by the shoulder, hand covering her mouth. He urged her to stay put so she did. From the crumbling half wall she was able to see her Pops, Garnet, and Connie in the middle of the street.

Across from them, projected in a hologram was what looked like a male Gem. He had dark tousled hair, a brown leather jacket with black lapels. He wore underneath it a brown suit with buttons. In his forehead sat a disk that shined like a new penny.

“Light Prisms went extinct over eight thousand years ago. The last recorded use of one was Hessonite during the colonization of Earth.” Garnet stated. Glasses and stance combined to form a cool air of defiance.

Connie saddled up next to her, an imposing five foot five and added, “Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Such impudence from the natural fauna here on Earth. A shame really, that the Great Diamond Authority’s forces didn’t wipe you off the star map.” The hologram man stated dryly.

“Who’s the rude floaty guy?” Pops grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Who am I?” He asked, genuinely affronted. “I am Copper, Electric Grade, C101. And you… You are in possession of a weapon that belongs to my most Precious Metal!”

Garnet raised an eyebrow, gauntlets already appeared but still at her side.

“We don’t have any weapon.” She stated flatly.

“You… liar! My scans sense its power source emanating inside that primitive dwelling.” Copper was practically frothing at the mouth now. Two clamp arms extended from the sides from the hovering spacecraft. “Hand it over!”

It dove for the brownstone and Garnet swiftly intervened, giving the spacecraft an uppercut to the craft that left the arms spinning like a top and it flying backwards.

Garnet’s tone left no room for debate, “I am warning you right now. Leave Earth.”

“You are violating the Era Three Intergalactic Accords. There is no Light Prism and you are invading a peaceful planet on no grounds.” Connie parroted some words she heard Steven use from Diamond meetings, pointing a sword at the craft.

Her Dad shuffled anxiously, “Did she steal that from our living room?”

The librarian hushed him, straining to hear.

“No grounds? No grounds?! You… arrogant… _Gems_.” He spat out, hatred apparent, “ _Pink Diamond_ has a Light Prism that rightfully belongs to _My_ Metal… That’s stealing! You think just because you set up the Accords everyone has to play by your rules? No!” There was a twist and the center of the spacecraft was replaced with what ominously looked like a cannon.

“Give me the Light Prism!” The librarian made a move to get up from her hiding spot but her Dad tightened his clasp on her shoulder and shook his head.

“No.” Garnet only stated flatly, gauntlets smashing together. The hologram disappeared with the frustrated yell of Copper and the spacecraft unleashed a deafening laser of light that forced Garnet, Connie and Pops to dive out of the way.

“I wish I had my sword.” Connie grumbled, flicking the fireplace sword out to second position.

“Let’s do this.” Garnet stated. The two shared a nod and Garnet dodged another light beam, feigning left, then right she charged the spacecraft head on.

She dodged, avoiding metal arms that pierced the ground in an explosion of rubble like spears. She hit the center cannon with a one-two punch combo that caved the barrel in.

Connie meanwhile slid underneath the floating spacecraft on her knees, sword dragging along the undercarriage. Had it been her sword, it would have pierced. Unfortunately the blade snapped free from the hilt. She was grabbed by a robot arm by the ankle and jerked up into the air.

“Connie!” The librarian was moving before she had a chance to think, brushing off her Dad’s grip and scrambling through the rubble.

She grabbed bricks as she went, hurling them in the direction of the spacecraft.

“Hey! Put her down! Don’t you dare hurt her you hunk of junk!”

A stray brick hit and it turned, a complete one eighty. The lights whirled and she swallowed the lump in her throat. _You got its attention. Now what?_

Garnet barked out her name, “Go back inside!”

Aloft, the hologram of Copper reappeared, eyes peering through his display in confusion.

“Another human? This planet is absolutely infested with..” He trailed, scans whirring and lights blinking around him. He eagerly tapped at his displays. “Oh. Not human…”

A pause and then a bark of laughter sounded from him.

“ _You’re_ the Light Prism? What a ridiculous form you’ve taken.”

The librarian glared up at him, “Pops was right. You _are_ rude. Put Connie down, right now.”

He stared at her blankly. “What's a Connie?”

“The human in the claw! Ground. Right now.” She spat. The hand kept its grip and the spaceship zoomed closer, the hologram large and intimidating as it stared down at her. She had to tip her head back to stare straight up at him.

“As if I’d take orders from a Light Prism.” He crowed in laughter. “ _You_ get told what to do. _You_ don’t get to tell me, a superior life form-”

“Garnet?” The librarian called out, deeply annoyed.

“All over it.” Garnets gauntlets came down on the top of the spacecraft in a double fisted dunk, caving in the metal dome in a shower of sparks. There was a deactivation hiss and the bot collapsed. Pops helped Connie to her feet, free from the claw.

“Thanks. Nice one.” The librarian smiled at Garnet, fist bumping her as the gauntlets dissolved.

The hologram of Copper flickered, laughing, “You think this over? Oh no. We know where you are now, Light Prism. We’re coming for you.” He spat. “If you think you can hide behind a fusion…”

“I’m not hiding. I live in Beach City. And I have a name.” She pronounced it syllable by syllable, slowly. “See you around, Copper.” She stated flatly, staring directly into the lens.

If there was one thing video games were good for it was fine tuning the ability to talk large quantities of smack. She arched an eyebrow and the lens flickered and went dark.

Villain gone, she deflated, running a hand through her hair. She fought to keep from full on shaking, swallowing thickly. Nausea swelled. 

“Oh god… Why did I say that? What was I doing? I feel sick.”

“You did well.” Garnet clasped her on the shoulder.

“Connie? Are you okay?” She asked nervously. Her friend smiled, giving her a thumbs up.

She collapsed now into a full on spiral of anxiety.

“What the heck is going on?” Her Dad asked next to her.

She ignored him and whirled an accusatory finger at Garnet, “You can’t tell Steven about this!”

“Are you nuts?” Connie yelled, “The Metals were White Diamond’s biggest competitor for galaxy colonization in Era Two. And you _don’t_ want to tell Steven and the Diamonds that they are after you?”

“Connie’s right.” Garnet clarified. She narrowed her eyes at her.

Of course she was. But she didn’t have to like it.

“Well… I don’t really see how it’s Steven's business.” She fidgeted.

“You are not that ignorant.” Connie protested, exasperated.

The librarian fidgeted some more.

“You can’t even defend yourself. What are you gonna do?” Connie continued her tirade.

“I don’t know!” She yelled back, startling all nearby. At their stares she crumbled.

“I don’t know, okay?” She repeated, voice softer this time.

“Don’t tell the Diamonds yet.” Garnet interrupted smoothly, “What I said about Light Prisms being rare is true. I don’t know how they will react. That path is not clear.”

“Great.”

“But you should talk to Steven.”

“Great.” She repeated, but with more sarcasm.

“Uh… Who is Steven?” Her Pops interjected.

“Short answer? Steven Universe is the defender of Earth from the Diamond invasion several years ago, founder of Little Homeworld. Also known as Pink Diamond. Shorter, shorter answer? He’s my uhm… My uh…“

She blanked on a noun to describe her relationship to the half Gem.

“He’s her boyfriend.” Connie cut in unceremoniously.

“Connie!”

“What? He is!”

“Ugh… Ex-boyfriend. Maybe? I don’t know. We’re not speaking right now.” She huffed.

Her Dad and Pops glared at her. Both men had their hands on their hips and she cringed.

“You’re dating someone and you didn’t even tell us? Young lady….” Her Dad trailed, stern voice rising.

“Oh come on! Half the house caved in and you’re mad I’m dating someone? I’m an adult, Dad!” She exclaimed, gesturing to the brownstone.

“I’m not mad that you’re dating. I’m mad you didn’t tell us! We’re your parents!”

“Still?” She asked, gesturing around them to the utter chaos. She watched realization dawn, her Dad’s anger deflating. She could see the warmth flood his brown eyes and her mouth suddenly felt dry.

“Oh sweetheart…” Her Pops embraced her as did her Dad.

“Yes, still. You think being a Light Prism or an alien changes that? We raised you.”

“You will always be our daughter.” Her Dad’s muffled voice confirmed. She sniffed,`refusing to cry again today but coming dangerously close to anyway.

“As such… You are still going to catch hell for not telling us you’re seeing someone.” Her Pop intoned. She laughed. Her Dad fished his phone out of his slacks pocket and began to type.

“Steven Universe…. Steven Universe… Oh, honey, is this photo recent? He’s very adorable but isn’t he a little young?” he asked, eyebrow raised at his phone screen. He flashed it at her, the familiar press photo of Steven at seventeen outside of Little Homeworld on opening day flashing into her line of sight.

“Dad! Are you really Googling him?” She felt her face heat.

“Let me see!” Her Pops cut in, horning his face into her Dad’s personal space to see his screen. He turned the screen around to show her Pops.

Garnet hovered above them, “Oh that was five years ago. I believe I have some more recent photos…” Garnet conjured a giant photo album from out of her blue gem in a beam of light.

“Oooh. Nice scrapbook. You know David has a few inside of the little lady as well if you're interested.”

“Oh yes.” Garnet only grinned.

“Oh no…” The librarian trailed, witnessing an alliance of proud parents.

“Come back inside. I’ll set the tea kettle on. If it survived the blast.” Her Pops stated, the three parents making their way back towards the crumbling brownstone.

“You okay?” Connie asked her, coming up beside her.

“Yeah.” She said after a moment, “Yeah, I think so.” She smiled.

The human and the human Gem weapon linked arms and followed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Error 404 Steven not found. He'll be back next chapter. 
> 
> Not sure what your home life is like, reader, but take two wholesome dads instead. 
> 
> Also - Yeah, yeah. I too played Save the Light and I know the video games do their own thing with Light Prisms. But also... Nah? Look at me. I'm the captain, now. 
> 
> I had fun this chapter. Copper was a campy delight to write. And imagining Garnet making a detour just to get a cape in order to show up Very Dramatically greatly amused me. Until next time. xoxo


	8. Bismuth

Bismuth had heard stories from Pearl and the other Gems about how Steven could be a one track mind whenever he was in a fight with somebody.

She’d been _poofed_ by the young Diamond before. Not her proudest moment to be sure.

But she had never seen him where she’d doubted his sanity, where he’d gone like the Summer Where It All Went Wrong.

Now she was getting an idea.

“Again.” Steven panted from in front of her anvil.

She winced. “Steven, are you sure you’re…”

“Again.” He insisted, shaking his head. There was a headstrong fire in his eyes, truly fearsome and Bismuth knew arguing was futile.

She sighed and tapped the modified Gem destabilizer against his chest. He erupted in yellow lines like electricity. He stiffened slightly, letting out a groan, head hanging and curls drooping.

Bismuth immediately jerked the wand back, regretting the move immediately.

“Are you okay? Was it-”

“It’s not enough.” Steven interrupted, practically growling in frustration as his head lifted. The tap had hurt but he could still move through it had he wanted to. But he deserved this, deserved worse. That pain was a mere blip in an ocean of what he owed.

Bismuth on the other end, only felt relieved. She was also a little freaked out. The half Gem had broken a sweat but he was far from being incapacitated.

“That destabilizer crossed with a cattle prod should be enough to scramble your gem.” Bismuth stated weakly.

He took the wand from her by the handle and took it over to her forge, easing it back into the flame and grabbing a hammer.

She wasn’t religious but she felt like praying to every Earth god that her anvil would survive this wouldn't hurt either.

“Well it wasn’t.” He grumbled, watching the metal turn red hot.

It wouldn’t be nearly enough to keep him from the librarian. Not if he really set his mind to it.

His pupils flashed pink as he groaned replaying that night in his head for the hundredth time.

He jerked the destabilizer from the flame and began to hammer, slamming it against the metal over and over again. 

* * *

_Five days earlier..._

“Steven… Please…. Just a little peek?” Pearl insisted. It had been two days but he still felt sick.

He shouldn't be here but he couldn't leave. Her room felt like home, like a hug that ached.

He sat at her bedside in a wing-backed red chair, hideous afghan around him. There were so many books he could be reading. They lined the baseboards, spilling off bookcases and swallowed every surface. All he could do was stare at her instead.

She was in bed, Pearl sitting on the edge and stroking her hair, tumbling down everywhere around her.

She looked pale, like a shadow of her normal bright self.

“No. I’m not entering her head again like that again. Not without asking her first.” Steven insisted. He didn't deserve to be here but he wanted to make sure she woke up. He eyed the purple at her wrists. He could heal her but that would mean touching her. He didn't feel like he deserved to just make that disappear. He’d heal her but he wanted her permission.

Right now he felt like he was pushing his luck just being in her room.

_Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a bit._

Why was he here?

She didn’t want him. He shouldn’t be here. And yet..

He watched her, painfully aware of her steady slow intake of breath in dreams. He just wanted a little more time. He just wanted to confirm that she was going to wake up. And then he’d leave.

“But it’s just to make sure she’s alright…” Pearl trailed, chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

“I can’t. _I won’t._ Connie’s mom says she’s okay, she’s just exhausted.” Steven assured her as much as himself. The dark circles under her eyes weren't improving though. He went ahead and blamed himself for those too.

“She’s been out for two days. I don’t think that’s normal for a human or a Prism…” Pearl stated quietly. Her fingers kept up a methodical strumming of the hair spilled across her lap. Steven would have given the world to trade places with her in that moment, in an alternate timeline where he hadn’t…

He cut off that train of thought.

“You’re worried about her?” Steven asked, surprised.

“Well I… She’s a sweet girl.” Pearl flushed blue, “And she’s important to you.”

Steven swallowed thickly, nodding, “She is. Even if she doesn’t want to see me after this.”

Pearl looked uncomfortable now, “She’s… practical. She knows she's whats causing you to-“

“No! No, Pearl. _I’m_ the problem! Not her. I don’t want to stop seeing her but I’m terrified I’m going to hurt her even worse than I did this time.” He ran a hand into his hair, tugging slightly. He seemed to curl into himself, receding into the giant red chair.

Pearl’s features seemed to soften as she looked up at him. “Steven… I have never known you to give up. And I don’t think she’s the type to either.” A pause, “Really, her written Glyphs are simply horrible I wish she would sometimes…” Pearl said despondently.

“Pearl!” He laughed a little through a tight smile, grip lessening.

He sighed, staring at the sleeping librarian again, like he had for hours. He wanted to commit every freckle, every curl to memory. In case it was all he had.

“Honestly Steven.… I see the way she looks at you, the way she talks about you when you’re not around. You had a fight. When she wakes up, apologize. Find a way to move on.” Pearl urged him.

“I…” Steven trailed. The librarian suddenly shifted, eyelids tightening, breath sharpening.

“She’s waking up.” Pearl whispered.

Steven got to his feet hurriedly, blanket tumbling off his lap. He nearly tripped over it in his effort to scramble to the doorway.

“Steven? Where are you going?” Pearl called after him.

“I'm sorry! I know you said apologize but… I can’t. I cant face her, not yet. Watch over her, Pearl.” Steven choked.

Pearl made a move to get up, devastated by the torment on the half Gem’s expression.

“Pearl?” The soft voice of the librarian croaked, sore from disuse. Her eyes flickered open, everything a blur without her glasses.

Steven felt relief trickle down his spine at seeing her awake. His heart clenched as he saw how vulnerable she looked, the pain in her face.

He couldn’t… He couldn’t be here right now.

He turned and fled before she saw him.

* * *

Bismuth gave him another hit from the destabilizer.

This time it was enough to freeze the breath in his lungs and knock him to his knees. The pain lanced through every nerve ending, stopping all coherent thought. He skidded back across the floor, crackling with yellow lightening.

His eyes were Diamond points when he looked up at her. Bismuth was frozen at the sight, nerves raising. She’d sent a Diamond flying, a lifelong goal really. Why then was something in her telling her this was a very bad idea?

“Better.” He huffed, struggling to get his breath.

Amethyst strolled into the forge right at that moment, oblivious to the tense minefield she was walking into.

“Yo dude. That thing _kicks_!” Amethyst cracked up, smiling. She didn’t wait to see Steven’s expression, attention on Bismuth. She went over and fist bumped the dazed Gem.

“You're really getting down to _Bismuth_ making new weapons already? Oh man… Those Metals won’t stand a _chance_ if that thing leveled Steven!” Amethyst jumped up, hanging off Bismuth’s shoulders to shake her excitedly.

Amethyst enjoyed the peace of Era Three. She really did. But she also enjoyed a challenge and nothing said a challenge like a new enemy to fight.

“Metals?” Steven asked, getting to his feet. “What are you talking about?”

Amethyst laughed, “Those lame aliens? Come on dude, the librarian told you, right? She’s been home since yesterday.”

Her smile evaporated at Steven’s thunderous expression.

“Ah boy.” She cringed.

“Amethyst…” His tone pitched in warning, “Spill.” 

* * *

The librarian was combing through the latest stack of Gem texts, homework pages from Pearl scattered out on her coffee table as well. _The Rise and Fall of the Great Diamond Authority_ sat open in her lap. She adjusted her glasses, muttering to herself as she compared notes. She was trying to read what she could about any mention in Era Two pages of Metals but the translation wall was making it slow going.

There was a knock at her door.

“Just a minute!” She called out, book in hand as she made her way to the front door. She couldn’t put it down. She was so close on the current Glyph. _Feminine possessive… Source… Mother!_

She opened the door distractedly, expecting Connie or one of the Gems. There was an unnatural silence and she glanced up.

Steven Universe stood on her doorstep and _livid_ would be a polite term to describe him. He glared at her, arms crossed over his chest sternly.

“Uh… Hi?” She stated, dazed.

“When exactly were you planning on telling me that you, Connie, and Garnet fought a Metal in Empire City?”

He stormed past her and into her living room. She’d never seen Steven mad before.

Annoyed, yes. Unsettled, yes. But this… She took a deep breath and entered the proverbial ring.

“Won’t you please come in?” She asked sarcastically, eyebrow raised. Steven was pacing in her living room already and she shut the door behind her, closing the book in her hand with a snap. She added it to the nearest stack. When she crossed her arms and didn’t make a move to answer him, he barreled on.

“You…. You fought a Metal? And everyone knew but me! I had to hear it from Amethyst.” Steven wasn’t even looking at her. She was surprised he hadn’t already burned a trench in her floor he was so steamed.

“It wasn't a big deal. Connie and Garnet had it covered. And well… You and I haven't exactly been….speaking.” She finished after a pause, shrugging. That snapped him from his rut. He stared at her, seemingly stunned.

“ _Wasn't a big deal?_ ” Steven repeated, incredulous. “Metals are the _one_ enemy White Diamond won't talk to me about! They were compassionless galactic warlords that fought the Diamonds tooth and nail in a race to colonize half the galaxy. When one of them comes to Earth, my planet, it is a _very_ big deal.”

Steven glowered now, “Especially when their primary goal is to kidnap _you_.”

He was staring at her straight on now and stars, how he had missed her. Every wave of hair, every freckle, just as it had been. Seeing her after so much longing to… It only amplified his desire to keep her exactly how she was now: Safe.

She pushed up her glasses and ran a hand through her hair in frustration, “I’m fine. Garnet-”

“Will not always be around to protect you.” Steven cut her off striding towards her now. He wanted to hide her away in some bunker, some ivory tower, some perfect oasis where no one would ever find her.

“I know that, Steven! I'm not an idiot. Amethyst is going to train me.” She shrugged as if to say the issue was resolved. That was something the purple Gem had _not_ mentioned.

Why was everyone keeping secrets from him? Steven felt like screaming.

He kept his voice even, barely, “Train you? No. You don’t need training.”

Now she felt like screaming.

Her eyes narrowed, “And why not?”

“Because _you_ are not going anywhere near a battlefield.” Steven warned her.

The librarian snapped, “You are not the boss of me, Steven Universe!”

“I’m not _trying_ to-” He cut himself off, realizing he was yelling.

He shut his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before trying again, “It’s not safe.”

“Oh and it was safe for you when you were eight?” She countered, arms crossing her chest.

“That was against other Gems! This is different.” He argued, pointing one way and then another to illustrate the difference.

Gems had been trying to kill him or kidnap him.

 _Oh_.

Well… Now that he was thinking about it, maybe it wasn’t that different.

“All the better reason for me to be prepared! I should know how to defend myself.”

“On that at least we agree.” He stated grimly. “Here.”

He reached into his pocket and handed her a small tube with a button. He pressed it into her palm. Steven hit the button and what burst from it was an angry tuning fork, crackling with yellow electricity. It screeched in her hand like a hell cat, the sheer energy from it standing her hair on end. She could feel a powerful thrum in the handle.

“It's a destabilizer. Bismuth and I tweaked it. It should keep you safe from the Metals…and from me.” Steven trailed. Her large eyes reflected the crackle and jump of electricity with a sense of wonder until she registered his words. She pressed the button on the side and it retracted.

“I don’t think…. I can’t…”

“Yes, you can! I know you don't want to see me anymore, but the Metals seem to think you're mine. And seeing how I don't know how to announce to half the galaxy you and I aren’t…”

“Oh. Is that what you want?” The librarian asked, voice faint and hurt apparent.

Steven stared at her as if she had said something absurd, “ _No!_ But since it’s what _you_ want-”

“Don’t get me wrong, I am _very_ mad at you right now. But… when did I say I didn't want to date you anymore?” She interrupted him flatly.

Steven froze, “Wait, what? The whole reason I… That night at Connie’s party… You said maybe we shouldn’t see each other.”

That? That was why?

She groaned in understanding now, “I meant maybe we shouldn't _physically_ see each other. As in maybe we shouldn’t see each other face to face for a little while? As a temporary measure until Bismuth could figure out how to make your Diamond half chill out! Not break up entirely! You're the one who refuses to answer my calls. If anyone doesn't want us to be together, it's _you_!”

Steven stared at her thunderstruck, “You… You still want to date me?” He was torn between abject relief and numb disbelief. He couldn’t bring himself to hope.

“ _Yes!_ Even if you’re being a total clod. Which, just so we’re clear, you definitely are right now.” She pointed out and he sank back from her, pacing again like a caged animal. His hands shook and he ran one through his curls, clenching slightly.

“But before.. The bookcase… I lost control.”

He shouldn’t be questioning this. But he couldn’t stop. He chanced a glance at her and she let out a breath, inclining her head.

“Yeah and I'm pissed you haven't apologized over that but I hardly think you meant to.”

“I really am sorry.” He breathed almost immediately, wide brown eyes on hers now.

She nodded stiffly, unable to keep his gaze, “I know. Thanks for the new coffee table and the house repairs by the way.”

She didn’t have any proof but she knew she was right when color crested his cheeks.

“I… Well… Least I could do.” He said tightly after a moment. He eyed the upward twist of her hair, the outline of her form. His fingers twitched, longing that he quit fighting this. He kept fighting it anyway.

“You really… You really still want to be with me?” He heard himself ask her, his tone wistful. 

“Oh stars, Steven…” She exhaled in exasperation and let out a trill, a sound in Gemspeak:

> _“Yes! A thousand times yes! What more can I say to convince you I want you?”_

He made a drawn out broken sound at this and he lunged, dragging her to him. He embraced her, burying his face in her shoulder. It felt like he was practically hanging off of her, melting down into her. She held him, arms tight around his back.

She swallowed, “I _do_ want you. I want to be with you. And I don't want you to think that comes with strings or conditions.” Her grip loosened and she pulled back enough to see his eyes were swimming, “But if this… if we… are going to work, you have to _figure your Diamond shit out,_ Universe. I’ll help you. I’ll do anything you need me to. But no trying fealty again without my consent again. Ever.” The librarian stared at him pointedly. This was non-negotiable.

“Okay.” He promised, his voice almost a hoarse whisper.

She nodded again and chanced a glance up, “Then the real question is… do _you_ want to date _me_? I don't know if you heard but apparently I am a rare space weapon that can't find her on switch and not a human.” There was a hint of a smile, a ghost of her usual mirth.

He laughed, the sound low and shaky. His eyes were dark, a molten twist of chocolate, “I could care less about what you are. But if you need help finding that on switch I am _very_ available.”

“Steven!” She chided in furious embarrassment and he laughed again, sounding more confident. He couldn’t pull himself from her personal space. He could smell it, that light floral scent she always wore. He could feel some tension un-bunch between his shoulder blades at the feel of her hands on his shoulder, on his chest.

“Seriously though…” He murmured, “If we're going to work… No more keeping things like the Metals from me and trying to deal with them on your own. I’ve yet to see a relationship survive something like that.” He admitted. He had serious childhood baggage from that.

“Okay…” She sighed, “But if you're making rules, I am too. The no kissing thing was a bad idea. We're a couple. We need to touch each other.” She pleaded.

He felt his breathing tighten.

“I don't… I'm terrified if we start I won't be able to keep my hands off you. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.” He confessed, cheeks tinting with color.

She grinned, “Are you seriously trying to threaten me with a good time?”

He laughed, despite himself, smile quickly simmering to pensive worry, “But Pink Diamond…”

She sighed as if humoring him.

And then his brain short circuited as she leaned up and kissed him.

It was a soft thing, her lips lingering on his own. She was steady and sure, gentle as her mouth brushed his full bottom lip. By the third pass he'd regained enough wherewithal to kiss her back.

Steven dimly registered he had never kissed her before, not in the waking world. This was technically their first kiss. She deserved a proper one.

So he cradled the back of her head in his large hands and poured all of his longing into a slow move of his mouth against hers. She swayed on her feet as he led her through it, all sharp inhales before forgetting how to breathe at all. He kissed her like he had longed to, like he had ached for, an ebb and flow of pressure that he drew out exquisitely.

There was a rosy hue as his gem started to glow underneath his star t-shirt. He heard the soft sound she made as a result of his attentions, hyper aware of the way her skin looked bathed in the soft pink light of his gem as he kissed her. She was beautiful like this, in her want of him.

He wanted more, his Diamond urged him. To back her into the nearest wall and to _take_.

_No!_

He released her as though she burned him, hands trembling from the effort.

She opened her eyes, looking at him in blissful confusion as the light disappeared.

“Steven?”

“We can't.” Steven insisted with a panicked edge, unable to fight the awakening interest he felt from within him, hovering just underneath the surface, “It’s dangerous. _I’m_ dangerous.”

“You’re not dangerous. Pink Diamond is still you. I can talk to him.” She assured him.

His gaze was fierce, “And say what? He wants fealty, nothing less.”

She shrugged, “Oh, I don’t know…But I could use his help when the Metals show back up. And between his dream conduct and Facets I might have a few ideas on an agreeable compromise.”

She was heading down a dangerous path. One she was fairly certain the wholesome youngest Universe would be very against.

“What… are you suggesting?” Steven asked, suddenly feeling faint.

“Well to be blunt… Humans have several different ways of showing an intimate dedication to someone without losing free will if they're doing it right. Um… Sex for one thing.”

Steven felt his vision bleed magenta for a moment. The casual commentary so soon after kissing her slid hot under his skin, enough to make him burn at the mere thought. He wasn’t sure what scared him more, how much he enjoyed the idea or how his Diamond half seemed to be entertaining it.

“You want to… to…” He couldn’t even put it to words.

She arched an eyebrow and he couldn’t decide if he wanted to run, fight, or kiss her again.

“It’s an option.” She acknowledged. He could feel his gaze point Diamond at the very insinuation. He thought back to the sound she made when he kissed her, the blush on her cheeks. He was fairly certain he could make her string together a song out of those pretty noises. He quickly shut his eyes, turning away from her and swallowing a groan.

“ _No_. Absolutely not. Until two minutes ago we had an agreement against _kissing_ and now you want to… You…” He let out a shaky laugh, clinging to his protests like a lifeline. His hands shook, trembling.

“You’re panicking. Quit panicking.” She told him carefully and he inhaled sharply. “I’m not talking about jumping right in. But, well, there _is_ a gradual build up to these things when two people are in a relationship. Connie seems to think denying physical touch could be what’s making it so bad for you. Her suggestion was locking ourselves in the bedroom for a week.” She explained almost innocently, fidgeting a bit.

He felt his mouth go dry. He did feel starved for it. And now that he'd tasted her he felt the emptiness of knowing just what he'd deprived himself of and it _hurt_. He turned away from her, trying to purge the image his mind was quickly conjuring of her wrapped around him, tangled up in her sheets, and failing desperately.

“Connie is not an expert on Gems. I am not risking your safety on a hunch.” He insisted.

“And I'm not using a glorified taser on you just because you're scared of being turned on.”

“I am not scared of being turned on!” He protested, his voice cracking, eyes closed as he rubbed his temple in frustration.

“Steven…” She sighed, “You won't even look at me right now.”

“That’s because it’s a bad idea.” He whirled, eyes latching onto hers, so fierce that they burned. It swallowed her confidence and her breath. He grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards him, “Listen to me. We are not going to _make love for the first time_ as part of some cheap negotiation for power with my Diamond half. You deserve better than that.”

“Sweet boy, but who says it’d be my first time?” She asked, lips curling wryly. It wasn’t rocket science to figure out that if kissing Connie, his only girlfriend, had felt wrong… It was a near certainty the half-Gem was a virgin.

“It’d be your first time with me and that’s what matters.” Steven countered, unfazed.

“It doesn’t bother you?” She asked, brow raised. She’d been a senior in high school and had gotten carried away in the backseat at a sleepy drive-in movie theatre. It’d been messy and sloppy like so many other first times.

“Nope. Doesn’t matter.” Steven confirmed, eyes still burning, “Because I am going to completely _ruin you_ for anyone else again.” He told her confidently. He was a living contradiction, bashful and shy some moments and intensely confident in others.

She swallowed thickly. Her eyes met his and seemed to swallow her into a trance.

He continued on, his voice low and full of intent, “I'm going to take my time exploring every square inch of you until I know you better than I know myself. I'm going to kiss you like I did just now and a hundred other ways until you _need_ me, like you can't breathe without me. I'm going to touch you in ways you're starving for until you beg for it.”

She stared at him owlishly, feeling like she might black out from how red her face was. She made a sound in the back of her throat that teetered somewhere between a whine and a sob.

“And when I _finally_ make love to you, and make no mistake about it- _I will_ \- it'll be as _me_ and it'll be on _my_ terms. I will use every piece of me to worship every piece of you. Making love would be the only thing you could call it.” His brown eyes were so richly dark they teetered on black, appraising her reaction.

Her voice cracked but she found it, “Really?”

She sounded far more doubtful than she felt.

“Yes. I’ll love you forever until you can't stand it.” Steven warned her and she inhaled sharply.

Any iota of witty thought she possessed dried up into a babbling, stammering mess.

“Oh.” She only exclaimed, stunned. It sounded like a threat rather than a promise but rather than fearful she felt… impatient. A shudder traveled up her spine. He hadn’t said anything obscene or explicit. Yet her body reacted stronger than if he used every filthy word in the lexicon.

The flush crept down her neck. Her wrist twinged in his hold, his grip painful on her bruised skin. Steven felt her twinge and his brow furrowed, grip on her wrist loosening to reveal the purple skin. He lost some of his edge, guilt flickering through his features.

“I'm sorry… I should have done this days ago.” He pulled her wrist higher, examining the marks on her skin and hating the sight. He surged forward, plush lips at her pulse point, kissing slowly across the underside of her wrist. She felt her legs shake, his magic sliding into her skin, sparkling pink as it removed the discoloration. It took all of her willpower not to moan at the sensation.

Oh stars, she wanted to feel that power, his tongue, that magic everywhere.

He _was_ going to ruin her and she couldn't even bring herself to resist.

“Steven…” She trailed, his name sounding in far breathier a tone than she was proud of. He ignored her, doing the same with her other wrist, slowly, methodically. He watched her fall apart under lowered lashes, unable to hide the way the corner of his mouth curved up in amusement.

Stars, people had him all wrong. There was nothing innocent now about how his touch, his mouth felt on her. It was a ghost of earlier, a hint of how it had felt to kiss him. The bruising on her wrist melted away leaving supreme pleasure that sunk into her bones. His gaze flicked up to hers, dark and wanting.

“I’ll agree to kissing you. But only if you agree to carry the destabilizer.” She could feel him slip the tube into her palms once more. It was enough to tug her from the brink, leading her out of her haze.

“I’m not going to use that thing on you because you aren't dangerous, Steven.”

“I am.” He grit out, “It’s Bismuth’s solution. It’s what we agreed.”

“That was when Bismuth’s solution didn't involve enough electricity to reanimate Frankenstein _and_ give me a perm.” She pointed out. He groaned, persisting.

“Only if it’s an emergency. If I'm out of control.” His gaze was pleading. Her wrists slipped from his grip and she circled her fingers into his star t-shirt. Her blush was fading, her brain rebooting as she recalled how violent the crackle and thrum of power in the weapon had felt to her.

“It’ll hurt, won’t it? How could it not?” She asked, unable to meet his eyes.

“It’ll get me to stop. You’ll be safe.” He reasoned, lips brushing her temple. His nose followed indulgently. He could smell that trace of sweet floral again and he wanted to grow a garden of whatever bloom it was and bury himself in it. The librarian however, wasn’t so far gone to notice he didn’t say no.

“Steven, I’m not hurting you. If it was the other way around, could you?” She tipped her head back, imploring him to see it from her point of view.

“Well… No.” He admitted hesitantly, “But I’m telling you it’s okay. I’d rather be the one hurt than you.”

Her lips pursed at this, “Then my answer is still no. I won’t carry it. That's not good enough.”

Steven felt his frustration exploding, and he pulled back from her, “I'm telling you I don't trust myself. Listen to me!”

“No, _you_ listen to me. You need to at least _try_ to find another way. That thing can’t be-“

“There's not. This is the best way you just don't want to hear it. Take the destabilizer.” He interrupted her, shoving her fingers closed in a fist around the tube. Anger flared in her again as she realized he wasn’t asking, he was telling her.

“I told you. You are not the boss of me. You do not get to just order people around, Steven. You Diamonds seem to have a habit of forgetting that’s not how relationships work.” She glowered stubbornly. She threw the destabilizer and he caught it, furious.

Her last comment cut deep but he did his best not to show it. She caught it though, the crumbling corners of his facade and she went to apologize but he beat her to the punch.

“Maybe you were right. Maybe we shouldn't see each other.”

Pain lanced through her.

He stormed out the door without a single glance back for the second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why's every OC the most purest virgin to ever virgin? Or if she is experienced, the lead's butthurt about it? 
> 
> Miss me with that BS. Sex positivity and experienced reader FTW! 
> 
> Housekeeping: I love posting weekly. I've written farther in (five chapters ahead) but the pace I'm posting is outweighing the pace I'm writing. I need the cushion as I go back and rewrite scenes as things arc. I don't know if a weekly update will be sustainable. It may be an every other week thing from here on out? I don't want anything to feel rushed or quality to dip. 
> 
> Anyway, raise your pitchforks and head on down to the comments. Every time someone posts a comment, kudos etc I make happy sounds and cry inside. Everything is stressful and writing this fic is my anxiety outlet. xoxo


	9. Amethyst, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: *Announcer voice* And here we are in the incredibly long ninth inning and our characters are coming round second base! The ushers will be coming around to check IDs as its all hands on deck for sexual content! NSFW, activate incognito browsers, my god what a play!

The librarian stood in the middle of the Big Donut, eying the display case with a slight frown. Even faced with an endless array of sweet treats, it wasn’t enough to boost her mood.

_I’ll love you forever until you can’t stand it._

She’d stewed on it as she brushed her teeth before bed. She’d tossed and turned all night, her sleep fitful as her subconscious stewed on it some more. She’d glowered over her coffee, thoughts reaching a simmer. By the time she grumbled and huffed and stomped her way through Beach City on her way to the Big Donut her anger had reached a low boil.

_I’ll love you forever until you can’t stand it._

How dare he…. How dare he. How dare he!

How dare Steven Universe say something so dangerous…So wonderful… Followed by something so supremely irritating.

_Maybe you were right. Maybe we shouldn't see each other._

That was her line! How dare he flip the script on her. She was typically not a violent person. But right now the idea of throttling something sounded supremely excellent. It was a good thing she was on her way to her first training session with Amethyst.

“Two raspberry filled and two strawberry glazed with sprinkles, please.” She decided, telling the man behind the counter.

“If you really want to take the raspberry to the next level you should get the lemon glaze.” A lofty voice at her back weighed in unprompted.

She turned, eyebrow raising at the stranger at her back. He was tall, with swirled pink hair in wisps that reminded her of Lion. He had skull gauges in his ears and the ensemble of a swashbuckler, right down to the collared cape. His skin, his hair, his eyes…all of him was bubblegum pink.

Any other city she would have thought he was a cosplayer. Here, in Beach City, she had no doubt he was another alien.

Another pink alien at that.

 _Great_.

Her expression curdled and the captain grimaced.

“Sorry… Used to work here. Old habit.” He laughed, gloved hands raised in good natured protest.

Her expression softened but only slightly.

“Lars!” The man behind the counter exclaimed. “Good to see you. Picking some up for the crew?”

“You know it, Dewey.” The alien, newly identified as Lars, gave the man a thumbs up. The man behind the counter, Dewey, nodded, glancing back to her.

“Miss?”

“Make one of the raspberry a lemon glazed?” She asked, shrugging.

“Coming right up.” He confirmed, grabbing a white paper bag and flicking it open. At her side, Lars smiled politely at her. She swallowed her foul mood and made an effort to keep her emotions off her face. After all, it wasn’t his fault.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. You a tourist?” He asked carefully, head tilting as he surveyed her.

She was a cute thing, mass of hair swirled into a messy ponytail on the top of her head. She had octagon glasses and wore an electric purple athletic wear set.

She shook her head, tone neutral, “I’m the librarian for Buddwick. Just started a few months ago. Are you from Little Homeworld?”

He laughed, shaking his hands in protest, “I’m not a Gem. Beach City is my hometown. Although I guess the pink is a little much of a giveaway I’m not human. Well, anymore.”

“The pink isn’t as strange to me as you’d think.” She muttered lowly.

His eyebrows raised at this, “It isn’t?”

She hadn’t been as quiet as she thought, apparently.

“Not really. There’s a bossy guy I know who turns pink occasionally.” Her expression was sour.

“Ah so you _have_ met Steven Universe.” Lars confirmed, smirking. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to ask him about it when she was interrupted.

“Your order.” Dewey handed her the donut bag and she went to pay from a tiny bluebird coin pouch.

Lars cut in smoothly, gloved hand pushing her coin purse to lower, “Add ‘em to my tab. I’ll take a dozen Deweys to go.”

“What? Are you sure? I couldn’t…” She protested modestly but Lars only shook his head.

“Consider it my fee. I was hoping we could talk?” It had been a while since he’d attempted to charm someone before and he felt rusty. But from the way she flushed perhaps he wasn’t as bad as he first thought. She took the bag from Dewey.

“Oh. I was on my way to the Temple Beach to meet someone. But you could walk me?” She offered. Lars grinned.

“Sure. I know the place… You meeting Steven or the Gems?”

“Gems. Well… _a_ Gem. Um… Amethyst? She’s giving me combat training. It’s… a long story.” She sighed, reaching into the bag and pulling out the lemon glazed.

“Love to hear it. If you’re inclined to share.” Lars pursued.

“Maybe.” She hedged and took a huge bite out of her donut, “Oh stars this _is_ amazing.”

“Told you.” Lars laughed. She made a face but smiled, a beautiful thing that made him feel warm. She continued to munch, eyes glazed over in happiness.

“So… You know Steven?” She asked after a pause, keeping her tone deceptively casual to hide her interest. It didn’t work and Lars looked amused.

“Hard to find somebody in this town who doesn’t. He got Dewey the job here. And me… Well, I wouldn’t be where I am today without him. The real question is how do _you_ know him?” Lars asked, eyebrow raised.

“I… Well… He…” She colored, fidgeting.

 _Ah_.

“It’s like that, huh?” Lars asked, smiling knowingly.

“It’s complicated.” She settled on finally, unable to meet his gaze.

“Been there.” Lars paid for their haul. "Thanks Dewey!”

Lars took both their orders, opening the door for her gentlemanly on the way out.

Just outside, Steven Universe froze, seeing Lars and the librarian exit the Big Donut together.

_Since when did she know Lars? Did they show up together?_

Lars held the door for her so smoothly, a considerate smile on his face. He was saying something and the librarian laughed, a full smile that caused something in Steven’s stomach to clench before twisting. He hadn’t seen her smile that way at him in what felt like forever. What had Lars said to her to earn it?

Something ugly and uncomfortable simmered inside and he held back, not wanting to get closer but also unable to look away when-

“Yo! Steven!” Lars yelled out, spying him.

He blanched for a moment but recovered, smiling nervously and giving the two of them a wave. He had always been excellent at masking his emotions to protect other people from them, sometimes to his own detriment as Doctor Bright had noted. Steven slid the familiar mask on now anyway.

“Heeeey guys…” He trailed awkwardly, purposefully not looking directly at the librarian. He didn’t know if he could handle that right now.

For her part, the librarian was also a ramrod straight bundle of tenseness. She hadn’t planned on seeing Steven, although she knew it was a possibility given her plans for the day.

For all her stewing she should should have been lit off into anger instantly. Instead the sight of him caused all of that anger to be sucked down into a churning vacuum of nausea and hurt. Seeing him so casual under this fake veneer of _everything is fine_ was awful.

Everything wasn’t fine.

_I’ll love you forever until you can’t stand it._

Stars, he was so handsome. It wasn’t fair. She watched him, the way the bright oceanside light reflected in the swirls of his hair, so dark it almost slid into other colors like the wings of a raven. He was talking to Lars now, she realized dimly, and she fought to keep her face from blushing and to pay attention.

“I didn’t realize you were home from space, Lars.” Steven observed with forced cheer.

It was the wrong thing to say and he realized his critical error too late.

At Lars’ side, the librarian’s eyes got big and round and she whirled, excitement palpable, “You’ve been to space?” Her gasp got bigger, “Oh man! Dewey said crew. You have a crew? You have a spaceship?” Her questions followed faster and faster in excitement, making Steven crack a thin smile. She was still the same when it came the spaceships as she was their first date.

Lars laughed, eyes sparkling, “Yeah. I do. If you ever wanted to go for a spin, I could take you.”

At her starry eyed expression Steven felt a spike of irritation.

“She’s already been.”

The librarian sent Steven a startled look, one that he didn’t show a shred of remorse at.

Lars’ eyes narrowed, darting between the two of them, his lips curled slightly as the pieces fell into place. _Oh this was too easy._

“Only once!” She huffed, displeasure apparent.

“Well. It probably wouldn’t be safe anyways. My crew and I are space outlaws, after all.” Lars shrugged with casual indifference that was actually calculated. He could practically feel Steven’s annoyance with him and it was _delicious_.

She took the bait, eyes sparkling with stars.

“No way! What for?”

“Oh, you know. General Robin Hood escapades here, a little anarchy over there. Steven usually gives me a finger wag at least once a month.” Lars sighed with a devil may care shrug and attempted to ooze the ambivalent bad boy charisma ladies loved. He was fairly certain actual steam was pouring out the ears of young Universe and it made Lars want to cackle with glee.

“If you would stop stealing from Homeworld liberated planets I wouldn’t have to call you.” Steven ground out between clenched teeth.

Back in Era Two and when he was younger, Steven thought Lars was cool with his thieving. Now that Steven fielded most of the planetary complaints he found the undead space pirate a vexing thorn in his side. The two were still friends, with age just came a certain level of nuance.

“Yeah, yeah. And if you paid attention to half the stuff that went on elsewhere out of your jurisdiction you’d be singing a different tune.” Lars shrugged.

They had this same fight in a new flavor nearly every time they spoke anymore. Steven, annoyed that Lars kept stealing. Lars, annoyed that Steven didn't use his position as Pink Diamond to do more.

The librarian’s watch beeped and she glanced down, “Ugh, I’m going to be late.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you.” Lars offered smoothly, gloved hand resting at her back. It took everything in him not to shoot a smug glance over at Steven but he reined it in, managing instead a cool glance. Steven's gaze darted to Lars grip, up to glare at him. _Huh. So this is what ‘if looks could kill’ meant._

“Late?” Steven heard himself blurt out. He couldn’t let this conversation die. If she walked away… With Lars’ hand doing that _thing_ …

“Training with Amethyst.” She murmured, not meeting his gaze. Their previous fight flashed through his mind. He did remember hearing her say Amethyst was going to train her, although he was surprised Pearl hadn’t been her first choice. He still didn’t have to like it, regardless of which Gem she chose.

_In fact…_

“I was just headed to see Amethyst myself. I’ll come with you!” Steven bulldozed ahead.

Lars looked dismayed, much to Steven’s immense satisfaction. The librarian's head swiveled, gaze darting between the two. She sighed and shrugged. With no polite reason to object, Steven quickly fell into step next to her.

The three set off, the librarian cringing at the tension. She racked her brain for a neutral topic.

“So… Lars… You’ve traveled space. Run into any beings called Metals?” The librarian asked, chancing a glance to her left. She was thanking her stars it was a short trip. The Big Donut was beach front. It was a straight shot of half a mile and around a cliff to the temple.

Lars winced, “Not the friendliest group. Why do you ask?”

“I… had a run in myself recently. Just trying to figure out what I’m up against.” She sighed, looking contemplative. From her right, Steven shared a glance with Lars.

“They’re trying to kidnap her.” Steven explained, distaste apparent.

“They’re a nasty bunch. Trained warriors since birth, a conqueror race with an unbending will. I ran into a fleet of Iron in Beta Seven and they blew so many holes in my engine it looked like Swiss cheese. Why are they after you?” Lars asked, looking down at her.

She glanced over at Steven, who made no indication she shouldn’t share.

She flushed, freckles lighting up, “I’m a Light Prism…er…super weapon from space, apparently.”

“You? Well… I guess stranger things live in this town. But I never would have guessed it by looking at you. Just thought you were a regular babe.” Lars mussed aloud, gazing at her with a grin. Surprise seemed to seep into her features and she blushed.

Steven stumbled over his feet for a moment before sending Lars a look. His cheeks were flushed in anger. He opened his mouth and the librarian cut in quickly.

“Well would you look at that! We’re here!” She squeaked, cheeks dark. From ahead she could see the fingertips of a stone hand pointing out the sand. The purple Gem stood on one fingertip, balancing her whip handle on her nose like a seal. The librarian smiled at Lars, taking her donut bag swiftly off the top of his own box.

“Come on. Amethyst isn’t the most patient.” Steven goaded her, a few paces ahead.

“I know, I know.” She sighed.

She gave the space pirate a quick half hug, “It was nice to meet you, Lars. Thanks for the donuts.”

He blushed, “Any time. My number’s on the bag. Give me a call if you ever feel like seeing the sights off planet.”

“I might.” She smiled at him and Steven knew then with a sinking sensation what he was feeling. He was jealous, terribly jealous of the smile she sent Lars.

“Or if you just want to talk…” Lars continued smoothly, “I’d love to listen.”

Steven felt like walking straight into the ocean and screaming.

“Thanks. See ya!” She gave him a wave. The space captain waved and turned around, heading back to town. She made her way across the sand, cheeks pink. She didn’t look over at Steven but she could feel his gaze on her, eyes shrewdly scanning her reaction.

She barreled ahead, determinedly not making eye contact, making a beeline across the sand for Amethyst. Unfortunately her legs were not as long as Steven’s so it was not as quick as she’d have preferred.

He caught up to her easily, walking backwards to scrutinize her expression.

“You might, huh?” Steven couldn't resist, parroting her reply.

“Why not? Lars was very nice. You on the other hand…” She sniffed, trailing off slowly.

Steven grit his teeth, “I was really polite, under the circumstances.”

“What circumstances?” She bit back testily.

“He was flirting with you just to make me mad.” Steven stated, tone scathing.

The librarian felt her blood boil, “He was being nice! Not everything is about you, Steven!”

Steven opened his mouth to retort when he realized Amethyst was watching them.

“Am I interrupting something?” Amethyst asked, nose wrinkling. The librarian turned away from Steven and he watched as she adopted a tight smile.

“Nope! I brought you your favorite.” The librarian greeted her, tossing the donut bag up to the Gem on top of the stone hand.

“All right!” Amethyst ate the donuts, bag, Lars’ phone number, and all before the librarian could protest.

“Are you a Gem or a goat?” The librarian asked weakly.

Silently, Steven made a promise to buy Amethyst a whole box of donuts in thanks. She burped.

Amethyst promptly shape-shifted into a purple goat, chewing cud, “Bit of both.” The librarian laughed and Amethyst grinned, reverting back.

“Ste-Man! Didn’t expect you to show up. You here to help with training?” Amethyst asked, jumping down from her stone hand perch.

“… _Why yes._ Yes I am.” Steven trailed slowly, devious smile growing as he caught the librarian's outraged expression. He hadn’t really come up with a good excuse on the way over here for actually seeing Amethyst.

He really just hadn’t wanted to leave the librarian alone with the space captain.

“Really?” The librarian cut in sternly, arms crossing over her chest. “Because yesterday you said you didn’t want me anywhere near a battlefield.”

“Still true.” Steven confirmed, “But if you’re gonna not listen to me anyway, I might as well stick around in case you hurt yourself.”

The librarian glared at him, “Appreciate your vote of confidence.”

“Ooh.. Should I leave?” Amethyst cringed.

“No!” Both parties shouted at the same time at her.

“ _Yeesh_.” Amethyst stated, looking displeased.

The librarian glared at Steven before stepping forward, “I’m sorry Amethyst… We are fighting but it won’t get in the way.” She shot a stern look in Steven’s direction and he broke eye contact, “I really am ready to learn.”

“Well… Not that I’m _not_ down or anything but… You sure you don’t want Pearl for this? This kind of training junk is more her speed.” Amethyst asked a bit vulnerably, arms stretched back behind her head. She avoided eye contact pointedly.

The librarian shook her head adamantly, “These Metals are warlords and warriors and from talking to Connie… Pearl’s methods are very traditional. I’m behind the curve as it. I need unconventional.”

Amethyst chanced a glance up at her, smile forming, “In that case you came to the right Gem.”

There was a crack and Amethyst’s whip flew out, wrapping around her right ankle and jerking her feet out from under her. Breath knocked out from her the librarian blinked rapidly from flat on her back. She heard Steven shout her name out in a surprise and she waved her hand, choking in air.

“Ground rules are lame but necessary. Rule one: Steven minds his business. Every time Steven _doesn’t_ mind his business is one donut for teacher.” Amethyst stated, arms crossing.

“Fine.” Steven grumbled.

“Rule two: Whatever awkward feelings you two dinguses are going through does not get brought on this beach to mess with my training. I will literally steam roll you if you make it weird.”

“Fair.” Her pupil muttered from the ground.

“Last rule: You tell me or Steven if something hurts. You do not get brownie points for being a pain martyr. I’m not gonna hold back.” Amethyst warned her.

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Good. Now are you just going to lay there or are you going to get up and fight me?” Amethyst asked, eyebrow raised.

“But I don’t have a weapon.”

“La- _ame_! Figure something out.” Amethyst yelled, tugging the whip at her ankle forward. The librarian started sliding along the sand, panic apparent.

“Amethyst… She’s new at this. You have to actually teach her.” Steven intoned, arms crossing. Amethyst gave the girl a yank, sending her flying up into the air, arms windmilling frantically. The Gem and the half Gem stared as she sailed up, up, way off the ground and into the clouds.

“Annnd… That’s one donut for me from Steven.” Amethyst stated, studying her nail beds for a moment in indifference. The librarian came plummeting back down to Earth and Steven caught her effortlessly in a giant heap.

“Make that two. Seriously, butt out Steven.” Amethyst huffed.

“You okay?” He asked the librarian softly. She was panting but nodded shakily, slowly slipping to her feet. Suddenly Steven was very grateful he had decided to invite himself to her training sessions.

“You can’t just vault her thirty feet off the ground and tell her to figure it out, Amethyst! You’re gonna kill her pulling a stunt like that.” Steven yelled, turning on the Gem. The librarian raised an eyebrow, surprised he was so defensive of her. She didn't expect him to be laughing it up at her getting beat up by Amethyst. But she didn't exactly expect this either. Her brow knit.

“Oh, I’m sorry dude, do you not approve of my methods? You think the Metals are gonna go easy on her just cause she’s a total beginner at fighting? She’s a Prism, man, not a human. Let her figure it out herself.” Amethyst countered.

“She’s right.” The librarian huffed. “I need to do this on my own.”

“We never fight alone. You shouldn’t have to train alone either.” Steven insisted. “Let me help.” His expression was so soft and earnest she blanked for a moment on why she was mad at him.

“You are. Now sit down and supervise.” She directed, regaining her senses.

“Three donuts.” Amethyst mouthed silently at him. Steven groaned, throwing his hands up and turning to settle in at the base of the stone hand.

The sun rose then began to set and Steven watched through his fingers as Amethyst spent the rest of the afternoon whipping and tossing the librarian around like a rag doll. All of her effort was put into defense, dodging and dancing, rolling this way and that as the crack of the whip sounded.

Embarrassingly, it wasn’t until hour three that the librarian thought to get creative.

She rolled, grabbing a hand full of sand in the process. She turned, tossing it in Amethyst’s face, blinding her. Amethyst stumbled back, shocked, and the librarian went for the whip handle, desperately trying to pull it out of her hands. Unfortunately she was neither strong enough or skilled enough for such a maneuver.

Amethyst flung her back with a blow from her fist, sending her tumbling across the sand. It cracked across her jaw, an explosion of pain followed by an ache. She spit blood, panting on her hands and knees in the wet sand of the tide.

She could hear Steven calling her name from above the roar of the surf.

Amethyst’s hand came into view. “Now that’s what I’m talking 'bout!” The Gem smirked.

The librarian looked up at her and chuckled. The librarian took Amethyst’s hand but her smile faded. The girl pulled, using the momentum and her feet to flip Amethyst behind her. From behind her she heard Amethyst’s thrilled shriek of laughter on the sand.

“Not bad. Now you’re getting it. If you don’t have a weapon look around you. Use your opponent against themselves somehow.” Amethyst advised, “I could train you for ten years on combat and you’d still suck compared to a Metal. Steven says you’re smart. Use your strengths.”

“Are you okay?” Steven huffed, running up to the two of them.

“Fine.” She smiled, laughing a bit actually. He pulled her to her feet, eyes scanning over her for injuries. Her bottom lip was swollen, bloody. He debated kissing her to heal it but couldn’t work up the nerve.

“You’ve got… Um…” He cleared his throat awkwardly and licked his thumb. He brushed it over the corner of her mouth, healing her busted lip. She blushed, feeling the fizz of magic, eyes round in surprise.

“I think it’s time for a break.” Amethyst stated behind them. The two snapped from whatever trance was between them and the librarian laughed nervously.

“Oh thank the stars. I think I’m gonna jump in the ocean and cool off. How bout a swim?” She asked, both of them.

“Nah.” Amethyst shrugged.

Steven shook his head, “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

“Neither did I.” She laughed, stripping her shirt up and over her head without a second thought. She was sweaty and covered in sand. Clad only in a sports bra and leggings Steven felt his mouth go dry. There was so much skin…

He was above ogling her, he chided himself. _Above it._

He kept staring anyway as she slowly pulled her hair from its high ponytail, hair tumbling free and the ends dancing around the curve of her butt. Was everything in slow motion? He was pretty sure he was watching her move in slow motion. She glanced over her shoulder at him.

He swallowed thickly as he watched her kick off her shoes. She caught the slack jawed look on his face and smiled impishly, running into the surf, laughing before diving under completely.

Amethyst laughed watching her, “She so wants you, dude. I don’t know what you two dorks are fighting over but make up already.”

“I… I just want to keep her safe. She wants to learn how to fight and she won’t carry the destabilizer Bismuth and I cooked up and I’m terrified the Metals are going to hurt her or even worse, _I’m_ going to hurt her and-” Steven admitted, words tumbling rapidly out of him as they both watched her laugh and bob up and down in the waves.

“Woah! Woah man!” Amethyst interrupted him, hand on his upper arm. “Have you talked to anybody at all about this?”

“Not really.” Steven had the sense to look abashed.

Amethyst sighed, “Steven, you know better than that. Talk to me. What’s got you freaked?”

“She has!” Steven exclaimed, gesturing out to the librarian at sea, “She’s driving me crazy, Amethyst! You know what a battle is like! She doesn’t and what if… What if something happens to her?”

“I get that. All three of us felt that way about you when you first started coming with us on missions. You have to trust her. And all of us too, man. You know we’re all going to look out for her.”

“I know.” Steven sighed, looking down guiltily, “Part of me just wants to keep her some place where nobody will hurt her.”

“You can’t, man. She _doesn’t_ want that. Which makes it kidnapping. You’d be no different than the Metals.” Both of them looked out over the ocean, suddenly standing up.

“Do you-“

“No, dude! I don’t see her.” Amethyst agreed.

The waves were empty and both of them immediately barreled for the water, going underneath the sea. Steven was in his pink bubble, Amethyst as is, not needing to breathe.

Underwater was alive with coral and fish, a swathe of color different from on shore.

They hadn’t gone far under when they saw the problem. A silver mechanical beast, shaped like a sea monster had a metal tentacle wrapped around the struggling librarian, pulling her under and towards its mouth.

Steven saw red.

He flung his shield out, slicing through tentacles and Amethyst grabbed her, the two swimming for the surface.

His shield dissipated and the beast roared, bursting up and above the waves after them. Steven followed, gathering speed as he grabbed both Amethyst and the librarian by the waist. The three narrowly avoided a burst of tentacles. He propelled them both out of the water and into the air, floating down onto the sandy beach. The librarian let out a gasp, choking as she greedily inhaled oxygen.

“Okay?” He asked shortly, staring down at them. Amethyst gave a thumbs up. The librarian nodded and Steven returned it tersely.

“Steven!” Garnet and Pearl were running down the steps of the temple and across the sand, summoning their weapons.

“Light Prism! Oh Light Prism!” A space craft appeared, floating behind the screaming metal tentacle beast just off shore. “How do you like my newest pet?” Copper’s face appeared via hologram, glee unbidden.

“Copper.” She said, getting to her feet shakily, “I’d say it’s good to see you again but I’d be lying.” Steven wedged himself in front of her stubbornly, tense. Garnet and Pearl reached the three on the shore, standing next to them in anticipation.

“I see you’ve found more weak Gems to cower behind. It’s no matter. I’ll shatter them all if that’s what it takes.” He crowed, surveying the Crystal Gems.

“You aren’t hurting anyone.” Steven insisted in fury, pupils Diamond. He phased magenta, a translucent pink shield with swirling vines summoning with a weighty _thunk_ onto his right arm.

“Oh ho… Pink Diamond! So it is you. I wondered when you’d show your face. Hand over the Light Prism, thief.” Copper demanded.

“No. She's not yours.” He insisted, chin raising defiantly. The librarian felt her cheeks flame.

 _She's mine._ It burned through his blood, a belief so strong and so intense in him it ached.

“Not for long!” Instead of a beam of light, this spaceship shot a net. The formation of Gems scattered, dodging the net as it exploded across the sand. Steven, or Pink Diamond as he was now, gripped the librarian close pulling her from range. He set her down under the stone hand and turned to the others.

“Pearl, guard her. Garnet, Amethyst, the sea monster.” He directed calmly. In front of him, the librarian blinked, sense of panic rising.

This was actually happening. They were going to fight. _Steven_ was going to fight. She looked at the giant metal beast and the floating space bot and fear curled around her.

As if sensing her discomfort, Amethyst put her hand on her shoulder.

“You can’t wig out, okay? Keep your wits and listen to Big Mama P, alright? We'll be okay. We’re in this together.” Amethyst assured her hurriedly.

The librarian nodded, swallowing her nerves. Her failures had seemed fine earlier, when she was training with the stout purple Gem. Now she realized all those mistakes would have gotten her killed. She didn’t have three hours and numerous failures to learn pocket sand techniques. She had one shot. One. _If_ she was lucky.

“She’ll be fine.” Pearl confirmed, spear whirling.

“What about Copper?” Amethyst asked.

“Oh I’ve got that covered.” Pink Diamond promised them ominously. The Metal was his to fight.

The three split ways leaving Pearl and the librarian on shore.

“Sorry about this. Nobody like babysitting duty.” The librarian muttered self consciously, crossing her arms. The two watched as Amethyst wrapped her whip around a group of tentacles, binding them tight. Garnet came in like a speeding bullet, ripping through the appendages with an iron gauntlet.

“It’s really not so bad. Everyone loves a free show.” Pearl assured her, eyes on Pink Diamond as he deflected net blast after net blast with his shield. He flung a spiked bubble out as a projectile and it crashed into the spacecraft, sending it and the hologram Copper flying.

“I haven’t seen Steven fight before.” The librarian admitted, flushing as she watched the half Gem dodge an arm spear from the spacecraft. He rolled up and over the extended arms and straight into a downward punch that decked the craft under the waves with inhuman strength. She should not have found the show of strength, the way his biceps tensed as he wielded the shield to block deadly blows, as hot as she did.

“Hmmm. Form’s a little sloppy.” Pearl mussed critically next to her, surveying them, “He must be mad.”

“He’s pink, Pearl, what do you think?” The librarian muttered sarcastically.

She was jerked from her musings by Pearl barreling into her, pushing her out of the way of a strike from above. The two rolled head over heels in the sand. In front of them was another claw spacecraft bot with a cannon underneath it.

“I guess it was naive to think we’d sit this one out.” Pearl commented lowly.

“Pearl… Give me a weapon. Steven says you’ve got all sorts of stuff stored in there.” The librarian begged, the two of them scrambling backwards across the sand. There was a popping noise and a burst of light and Pearl handed her a second spear. She took it, grateful for anything that wasn’t sand.

There was a burst of net and the two dodged opposite ways. The spacecraft speared its arms towards Pearl, firing another net at the librarian. She sliced the spear through it, twisting to the side in time to avoid the craft launching at her by inches.

“Pearl!” Pink Diamond yelled, concern growing as he watched the craft advance on the librarian. He blocked two blows from his own space bot opponent, helpless to intervene.

“I’m on it!” Pearl shouted back, scrambling to the librarians side.

“Worry about your own battle, Diamond.” Copper spat, metal claw piercing him in the upper shoulder and spraying blood before sending him plummeting beneath the waves.

“Steven!” The librarian called out, panicked.

“He’ll be fine.” Pearl assured her, parrying two arm attempts to grab her in rapid succession.

“Give yourself over to me, Light Prism. I’ll spare their lives if you come willingly.” Copper enticed her.

“I don’t believe you!” She yelled back, spear piercing through a metal arm of the craft fighting Pearl. She was immediately wrapped in the arms of the bot that had been fighting Steven, the metal sliding tight around her body, constricting and twisting tight like a boa snake. Pearl had been hit by a net, pinned to the ground.

“Clever thing.” Copper grinned, bringing her even with his hologram screen. “But I’ve got you now.”

Pink Diamond suddenly burst from the bottom of the ocean, hurled by Garnet like a javelin. He crashed through the craft, fists pink, into one side and clear out the other in an explosion of wires and sparks. The craft died with a sputter. He ripped the machine off of her, pulling the librarian free by the waist and letting the powered down space craft crash into the ocean.

The librarian’s eyes through all this were on Pearl though, claw barreling towards the net covered Gem to spear her through. Subjectively, she knew Gems couldn’t die. But the human part of her was convinced Pearl was going to die. She couldn't let Pearl die!

She panicked and glowed white, her hair, her garment, all of it flashing brilliantly as she summoned a weapon, a crystal version of a halberd. It sparkled in the light, a rainbow of colors reflected as she flung it at the craft. Pearl scrambled free out of the way, stunned. The librarian’s eyes burned white, absent of iris and pupils, as she willed the halberd to turn with a coax of her pointer finger, attacking the craft and shattering it with a mighty sweep of the axe blade.

The hologram of Copper glitched out as he stammered, “Impossible! You shouldn’t be able to make constructs on your own!” His screen flickered away into darkness.

Awareness seeped back into her and the halberd phased away into nothingness. In the background there was a bellow and a shriek, the kraken ripped through by Amethyst, who had taken the form of a mighty T-Rex.

“Pearl, are you okay?” The librarian yelled.

“Fine!” Pearl assured them with a wave and a bit of chagrin.

The librarian sagged a bit, feeling a large bit of her energy go with it.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Pink Diamond assured her. And he did, _he had her_. He phased back to regular Steven Universe with little fanfare. She whimpered, blinking rapidly to get her focus back, everything bleary for a moment.

“I’m fine.” She repeated over and over, dazed.

“Don’t push yourself.” Steven soothed. She buckled again in his hold and he sucked his teeth in a sound of disapproval. He swept her legs out from beneath her, arm circling the back of her knees.

“Steven… Seriously.” She protested, staring up at him. His jaw clenched and he floated the two down to Pearl and the others on the sand. He needed… He just needed. His gem was practically singing with it.

“I’m taking her home. She burned herself out using that kind of power.” Steven stated.

“Don’t go all that way. Bring her inside.” Pearl insisted, gesturing to the Temple.

“I’m right here, you know! And I’m fine!” She huffed, put out that no one was listening.

Steven nodded dryly, “Uh huh. You’re laying down inside anyway.” He insisted stubbornly.

“We all could use a recharge in our rooms.” Garnet started calmly. The three Gems nodded. Steven made his way up the temple steps, still toting the red faced librarian. He was carrying her bridal style, as if she weighed nothing.

“R-Really, you can let me down. I’m okay.” She promised him weakly. She tried to squirm free but he glared at her and held her tighter, his grip like iron. He ignored her, kicking the screen door open with his foot slightly and swinging her inside across the threshold.

“You still need to rest.” He insisted. He climbed the stairs, feeling a tenseness in his shoulders ebb now that he had her within his familiar walls. He lowered her onto his duvet. As he transitioned her, she felt her fingers brush something wet and tacky. She pulled her fingers back, her fingertips tinged red. Her eyes widened.

“You’re hurt! Your shoulder… You shouldn’t have carried me.” She protested frantically, grabbing his shirt sleeve in worry. There was a hole in his black star t-shirt where the space bot’s claw had pierced clean through, blood caking his skin and obscuring it. He hovered, seated on the edge of his mattress.

“It’s healed, honest.” He assured her, watching her expression of concern in amusement as she tucked her legs under herself, sitting closer to inspect it. Her fingers kneaded the skin nearby, attempting to see if a wound opened. It was hard to tell under the caked blood and sand.

“Steven, you sure you don’t need anything?” Pearl called up to him.

“We’re okay!” Steven assured her, simultaneous with the librarian's, “A first aid kit.”

Pearl was up the stairs in a second, kit, bowl of water, and washcloth in hand. “Steven, are your healing powers not-“ She began worriedly, expression tense.

“They’re fine.” Steven sulked, secretly thrilled, “She’s just being stubborn.”

“I just want to clean it and make sure!” She insisted vehemently. Pearl relaxed, setting the supplies on his nightstand. She knew from years of raising Steven the half Gem was likely healed. But it was good to see someone else worry and dote about him for a change.

“He’ll be fine. But I’ll just leave these here anyway.” Pearl managed with incredible difficulty.

“Thanks Pearl.” The librarian smiled. Pearl retreated back down the stairs and the librarian grabbed the washcloth and dunked it in the water bowl.

“Shirt off please.” She demanded clinically, pleased her voice didn’t crack at the request.

“No way. I’m telling you there’s nothing to worry about.” He insisted, flush rising.

“Then you should have no issue showing me!”

“That is _not_ what I have the problem with.” He flushed hotly.

“We’re both adults here.” She insisted. Steven was well aware of that. She was undaunted.

“Steven… Please?” She asked worriedly. It was her change in tone that gave him pause. He could see the slight hints of vulnerability, the worry.

“Fine.” He sighed, raising his arms. Her hands gripped the bottom hem of his black t-shirt and she tugged it up and over his head. Steven felt his blush burn red, face close to her jaw as she weaved with the motion in and out of his personal space.

Embarrassment ebbed as he watched her, fascinated as she dunked the washcloth into the bowl and began running it along his right shoulder. The tacky blood and sand melted away at the motion. Steven exhaled shakily, feeling her fingers glide over his skin through the wet terrycloth.

He always healed and the Gems had long since quit worrying themselves.

Subsequently he hadn't had someone tend to a wound, touch him like this in years.

“It _is_ healed, I can’t believe it.” She marveled, shock apparent. The washcloth plopped in the bowl again and this time he felt just her bare fingers on his clean skin, smoothing up and down right where a hole should have been. There was no wound, no newly healed pucker, not even a scar. She glanced up at him, surprised to find him watching her intently.

“I told you. A wound that size is nothing.” He promised breezily. From anyone else it would have sounded arrogant. From Steven it was reassuring. Her fingers trailed from the junction of his shoulder, touch changing to a caress. Her feather light touch smoothed to circle the swell of his bicep on autopilot and he stiffened.

The librarian felt her mouth go dry, their situation beginning to dawn on her.

“I-I’m sorry… I should um…”

“It’s fine.” He assured her hurriedly, his voice high and strangled. “More than fine.”

Color bloomed in her cheeks, but her hands weren’t able to stop. She recalled the battle, the way he’d looked fighting for her. Her eyes skittered over his bare chest, at the smattering of dark curls, the defined pecs trailing down the rounded hint of abdominals, and finally to the pink flat top of the diamond where a belly button would be.

He was staring with rapt attention at the appreciation on her face as her gaze raked down him. His brown eyes shifted molten with a word that could only be _hunger_. Her gaze met his.

“We’re turning in, night you two!” Garnet’s voice floated up the stairs.

“Night.” Steven called back to them deceptively cheerful, gaze never leaving hers.

“You should go before the sixth phase of the temple door.” He warned her quietly.

“Why?” She asked him simply. His control slipped and his eyes burned pink.

“I’m giving you a very short window for retreat as a courtesy. If you stay, I'm not holding back.” He warned her.

Three opens, three closes. His restraint could last that long, but only just.

Her eyes widened, breathing hitched. Steven stayed frozen and counted.

_One, Two._

He expected her to scramble for the stairs in a burst of activity. She wasn’t moving.

_Three, Four._

Her hands were still on him. He could be imagining it but he could swear they even tightened.

_Five, Six._

He wasted no time sliding across the bed, crashing into her body, against her mouth before she could change her mind. His hand slid up and clenched into her hair tightly, his opposite ghosting over her hip bone before digging in there. He held her to him where there was no escape, his thoughts racing from how she had looked at him, that she hadn’t left and had wanted this.

“Steven…” She breathed pleadingly when she managed to surface for air. He moaned lowly at the desperate sound of his name, tongue brushing past hers in total abandon. He cradled her jaw, eyes drifting closed as he threw caution to the wind and indulged himself in tasting her. It was a cocktail of bliss but it only deepened, a burgeoning unnamed craving. He chased after it in her mouth, determined to find the answer but was only left with more wanting. He could feel her hands running up his bare chest, gripping his shoulder, his neck. She did not shy away, meeting him kiss for kiss, just as hungry. And when she _did_ pull back slightly, it was only to nibble and suck at his bottom lip.

“This doesn’t change anything, I’m still mad at you.” She protested weakly, climbing into his lap. Her fingers dug into his hair, clinging to his thick curls. Her thighs straddled his hips but gave them space, not giving them the contact he knew they both burned for.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed against her lips, running his along her jaw line. They slipped lower, falling down her neck, “I’m sorry… You can yell at me all you want after this.” He murmured, tasting the slight salt of the ocean on her skin. “But I need this right now.”

_I need you._

Between his burning jealousy over Lars, the second appearance of Copper… He bit down lightly where neck met shoulder causing her to gasp against him. He pulled the injury into his mouth with a suck, healing the broken skin in a flurry of pink magic that left her panting and twisting in his lap. She felt her abdominal muscles tighten at the sensation, a desperate pang of want spearing through her.

“Oh god…” She gasped, “Is your healing magic always like this?” She breathed shakily.

“Like what?” He murmured distractedly, completely lost in her. Pink Diamond had experienced something similar to this with her when he had dreamwalked. Steven could recall the sensations, though they had been doubly muted by both his Diamond and the dreams. Now he was adrift and inundated, drowning in her.

This… this was so much _more_.

His lips ran across the hollow of her throat, her collar bone.

“I… Ah!… I’m pretty sure it’s an aphrodisiac or something? I’ve never felt anything like it.” She admitted, grip clenching him. “It's driving me crazy.”

He let out a whine of multiple notes at this revelation, his brain going haywire with the knowledge he was reducing her to a trembling mess, fingers digging into her hips. She rocked against him, lips finding his once more. There was teeth now and she bit his bottom lip, an angry clash of wills as she moved and danced with him. It wasn’t gentle or tender or sweet. But it made him _feel_. 

He could feel the heat of her skin, the true sense of touch. All of his senses felt heightened, tuned in to her and alive, so very alive he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

“I can’t stop touching you.” He breathed helplessly, feeling like he was on autopilot as his hands slid back to grip her butt and pull her against him. He should have felt more panic about this but instead he watched from beneath her, fascinated with the breathy gasp she made as he forced her hips to grind down on his own. His own breaths came in pants at the sensation of feeling the delicious ebb of pressure rubbing against his arousal.

“Steven…” She whimpered pleadingly, and he swallowed the sound, kissing her slower now, trying to tamper the inferno between them but fueling it instead.

“The destabilizers in my pocket.” He panted as she pulled back from his lips. Her fingers were in his hair, hand on his shoulder, traveling upwards. He nearly groaned. The heat of her touch felt incredible on his bare skin. This had spiraled well out of his control but he reveled in it.

“You have to… You have to…” He lost his train of thought, feeling her suck gently at his bottom lip.

He dissolved into a desperate whine, need clenching within him.

“No. You’re not hurting me. You’re… oh god, Steven!” She moaned, head tipping back.

Something in him snapped at the sight of her bliss and clear need for him. He needed this too but she was _begging_ , begging him so sweetly.

If she wouldn’t stop him there was really only one other course of action. He zoned in on a new goal. He’d make her feel so much pleasure she couldn’t possibly hate him.

He shifted them, pulling her back and down onto her side, back against his chest. His arm curled around her lower hips, stronger than iron and unmovable. She panted and he could feel her squirm against him, her butt rubbing against his arousal.

“You… are the most stubborn, most infuriating girl I've ever met.” He breathed into her neck with a hint of resentment, cheeks heating as he murmured into her skin. “Why do you fight me on everything? Why don’t you ever do as you're told for _once_?”

“Because… you’d hate it. Too boring.” She trailed hazily, earning a dark laugh from him.

She was right of course, he realized bitterly.

“Then I’ll just have to be creative.” A wicked gleam rising to his gaze.

“Tell me to stop.” He practically growled at her, his gaze on her expression intently as his fingers crept downwards, slipping into the front of her pants. He hesitated for a moment, prepared to withdraw if she showed any signs of panic. She made no move to object and he zeroed in, fingers brushing her clit before beginning a circle, a rhythmic brush that coaxed her hips into opening wider for his hand. Her eyes fluttered closed and she sank back against him in surrender.

“Tell me that you don’t want this. That you don’t want me…” He trailed off into a groan, his fingers slipping farther down and into her wetness. She was soaked for him. He’d never done this before but he listened with a laser focus, varying his pressure and his speed experimentally until he found the pace that had her shaking. She let out a needy sob and his fingers increased their speed.

“No!” She hissed passionately. “No, no - _Yes!_ \- I want you, Steven…” She was practically trembling. She didn’t know what was the right answer anymore only that she _wanted this_ and she'd say anything to keep his hands on her. Triumph and happiness bled through Steven. He swiveled his wrist, driving two fingers into her core. She jolted against him and he clenched his jaw.

He began a steady rhythm that had her hips canting and rocking to meet his hand.

“Holy _shit_ … Oh, stars… Steven.” She barely recognized the sound of her own voice, it was so messy and needy. Steven covered her mouth with his hand, muffling her cries as he set about playing her like she was his new favorite instrument.

“Shhh..” He breathed soothingly into her neck, “Don’t want the Gems coming back out to this, do we?” He chuckled softly, placing a lingering gentle kiss on the shell of her ear.

“Or is that what you want? Do you want an audience? People to watch how much of a mess you are for me?” She writhed against him and he grunted before chuckling darkly, enamored with the pleading whines she made for him. This was exquisite.

She shook her head frantically against his hand, making noises of protest. He practically sighed in pleasure, “Mhm… That’s it, Stardust. It’s all for me, isn't it?” He coaxed her, pupils pointing.

He could feel his Diamond side studying her with just as rapt attention, how every motion he made, every slightest tweak of angle or pacing would flicker expressively across her face. He was fairly certain this was his new obsession.

The librarian was overwhelmed, voice frozen in her throat. She felt like all of her nerve endings were a live wire, pushing her into mindless ecstasy as he overloaded them with every stroke of his hand. She was blown out on pleasure, her vision hazy and desperate as her eyes locked on his.

“Me… Only me.” He couldn’t tell anymore if he was telling her or assuring himself. She could feel him grinding against her, as he drove her to the brink matching the pace of his fingers.

“Yes. _Yes!_ Steven… Please, whatever you want… Just don’t stop. _Please_ don’t stop. I’m so close!” She almost cried into his wrist. His hand covered her mouth again and he held her tighter to him, kissing frantically against her neck. His fingers sped up and he bit her shoulder. He drug his tongue across it slowly, magic tingling, and the broken sound she made muffled into his hand at the sensation was perfection.

“Stars, I want you so much. You’re beautiful. So beautiful…” She shook and he felt her legs tremble as she fell apart against him. He could feel the rhythmic flutter of her orgasm around his fingers draw out as she crashed over the edge with a shudder, gasping. His gaze bled pink as he watched it happen. He wanted to burn the look of desperate bliss on her face into his memory forever. It was enough to push him over the brink after her and he shook, coming in his pants as he ground against her.

Reluctantly he pulled his hand from her pants, releasing her mouth as well. There was a bit of fumbling as he found some discarded garment to wipe his hand clean on.

He sighed, feeling her melt back against him. She tipped her head back and he kissed her again this time long and slow. The light from his gem surged bright before fading away as he pulled back.

“How do you feel?” She asked worriedly, twisting in his grip to face him. Her hand slid down the front of his chest and he shook his head, grasping her hand in his.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” He assured her, “You?”

“Is that even a question?” She murmured, burying her face into his shoulder with a breathy sigh of contentment. She was blissed out after possibly the strongest orgasm she’d ever had in her life. He chuckled lowly at this, unable to stop the sense of pride he felt in his chest.

“How 'bout your Diamond side? Everything okay?” She asked lightly, peeking up at him.

“Better.” He stated softly, surprised to find it was true. He flushed, “I think… Connie might have been right.” He admitted hesitantly. She laughed.

“Of course she is. She’s right about everything.” The librarian grumbled.

Steven murmured, “She was wrong about something though. Now that I know touching works I don’t think a week locked in here with you is enough.”

The librarian flushed, “Does this mean you’ll keep touching me?”

Steven lifted an eyebrow, “Does this mean I'm forgiven?” He countered.

She smiled wryly, “It’s certainly a good start, Universe. Although I could always use more convincing.” She waggled an eyebrow.

He laughed, fingers brushing over her cheek. His brown eyes seemed to soften, melting fondly as his fingertips caressed her cheekbone.

“I really am sorry, you know.” He murmured to her quietly.

“I know… I’m sorry too. We both said a lot of things, in the moment.” She conceded, voice barely above a whisper. He nodded slightly, pensive.

“I don't want to fight you… This… anymore.” He admitted wearily. Her nose brushed his.

“Good. Because I don’t want to either.” She murmured softly before letting out a yawn right in his face. He laughed, the sound teetering on a giggle and she looked embarrassed.

“You need rest.” He cupped her face in his hand, fingers sliding behind her hair to the nape of her neck before tracing down her spine. She shuddered, a full bodied thing, bliss flooding her face openly at his touch. Steven's eyes widened.

“I can’t if you keep doing that.”

He swallowed, pulling his hand back. If she hadn’t been so tired, so spent from her power burst, training, their activities earlier…

He wanted to spend hours, learning every inch of her and studying how she reacted to his touch.

“Sleep.” He whispered. “There’s time for that later.” He assured her, but mainly himself. She settled in against his chest with a sigh, leg curling to hook around him. His fingers brushed her hair back and he stroked it soothingly.

He'd craved this, feeling her wrapped around him. Relief sunk into him deep down to his gem. She was here with him, safe with him in this moment. He began a gentle hum, a soft melody of notes he’d been working on that had her sighing louder. She could feel the vibrations in his chest as he experimented with the sounds lazily, trying to find an order he liked.

She drifted off to sleep in his embrace, the first deep sleep she’d had in weeks. Slowly the notes hung longer and longer in the air, measured rests becoming sustained ones.

Steven floated in to dreams behind her, an aching peace settling through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a beast to write. I've probably rewritten and tweaked the smut.... like 20 times by now? As a long time reader, first time (published) writer, it took me forever to get it to where it was the appropriate levels of spicy and a believable Steven vibe. How'd it hit for you, reader? 
> 
> To the people who posted unbelievably nice comments about me taking longer to post, y'all are the MVPs and this one was for you. xoxo


	10. Amethyst, Part II

The next morning Steven Universe drifted awake feeling as if he’d slept for _years_. He still had nightmares, his adventures taken their toll, but last night had been dreamless, deep sleep. It was rare, let alone a full night’s worth of it.

There was a lump of warmth at his side and he huffed, assuming Lion had snuck in his bed again. He opened his eyes but he wasn’t met with pink fur.

Instead there was a sea of wavy hair, spilling over him, around _her_.

The librarian was wedged against his side, face buried against the crook of his shoulder. Last night rushed back to him and Steven blushed pink. He pushed the wild strands back, carefully, trying not to wake her. His hand slowly smoothed, revealing her face. Stars, she was lovely.

_Wait, was that drool?_

There was a click of a camera shutter and his eyes whirled accusingly to the top of the stairs. Pearl stood there, camera phone held up, blue eyes swimming and blue blush heavy.

“Pearl!” He hissed in a theatric whisper, embarrassed.

“What? You’re both so cute!” Pearl whined.

“How long have you been standing there?” He asked her suspiciously.

“Two hours.” Pearl chirped without a shred of guilt and Steven’s face exploded red.

“ _Pearl!_ ”

“I’m sorry!” She sobbed, “You were cuddling each other in your sleep and I just kept getting good photos!”

“Get out of here!” Steven blushed angrily, then hesitated, “Also… Send me those.”

“Oh… Alright… I’m leaving.” Pearl assured him with a defeated sigh, headed back down the stairs.

He sighed in relief and Pearl popped back up like a demented prairie-dog, “I also broke into her house and got some of her clothes and personal effects. They’re in the corner. And Garnet is out getting you both breakfast and-“

_“Pearl!”_

“Going! Going!” She insisted, darting down the stairs. At the commotion, the librarian groaned and shifted next to him, eyes fluttering open. Steven felt himself melt, weakening at the sight of her adorable drowsiness.

She drifted awake and into a moment of woozy panic at seeing a room not her own. A dresser sat against a far wall covered in decorative picture frames. There was a close up photo of Rose Quartz. And there was a candid shot of her at Buddwick’s circulation desk, glasses sliding down her nose as she obliviously read. There was a dramatic painting of a wilting Garnet and a cherubic Steven on the wall.

 _Steven_. She was in Steven Universe’s room.

She twisted around fully, sensing that she wasn’t alone in the cream duvet and sheets. There was a lump of warm skin she _definitely hadn’t been drooling on_ and she pulled back, eyes shooting open wider.

“Morning.” Steven Universe greeted her, gaze hooded. His voice carried a certain timbre first thing in the morning that she immediately decided she liked. His curls were mussed and he was still without a shirt. That she _definitely_ liked.

“Good morning.” She replied, a certain shyness emerging. She smiled a bit, chin ducking as her thoughts spiraled. Was she not supposed to be here? Should she have not slept here? She floundered under morning-after tropes while Steven looked oh so calm and-

_Wait a minute._

Her brain rewinded as she realized was looking at him with perfect clarity.

Wonder seeped into her as she reached up touching her face. No glasses.

Steven watched her, smile only growing, head propped up on his hand.

“Holy _shit_ I can see!” She bolted upright as if she was on a spring in a flurry of hair, panic setting in as she fumbled across the pillow for the octagon frames. She shoved them on her face then lifted them up and down, staring at the reverse order blurry than clear face of an amused Steven. Her mouth dropped open.

“I… might have gotten a little carried away with the healing powers last night.” Steven tinged red guiltily. At hearing how his magic affected her, he had lost count of the number of times he had bit her or left love marks on her skin only to heal her with a swirl of his tongue. He eyed the expanse of her neck, relieved he didn’t hurt her but also severely put out by the lack of evidence he saw of his attentions.

He watched the librarian turn red as well at the implication of _last night_. Steven was unable to stop a pleased grin from ghosting the corner of his mouth at her reaction.

Overwhelmed all she could do was mutter dejectedly, “But I love these frames.”

Steven laughed, taking them from her and popping out the lenses before handing them back to her.

“Sorry. I um… Sort of did the same thing to Connie.” He admitted.

At her raised brow and growing smirk, he panicked, “The glasses thing! Not… Oh stars.” 

"I know what you meant, Universe.” The librarian only laughed, rolling to the side a bit and stretching. Her back arched, a full curve that pushed her chest skyward as she yawned, shoulders twisting. Morning light streamed across her skin through the sliding door. Steven had never seen anything in his sheets more alluring.

Oblivious to the stars in his eyes, the librarian sniffed her armpit slightly and made a face, groaning. “Oh man, I am gross… Do you mind if I steal your shower?” She asked, tilting her head.

“I didn’t think you were gross.” Steven pouted, “But yeah, go ahead. Pearl may have um… brought you some of your things.”

 _Pearl broke in to your house_ seemed harsh.

She slipped out of bed and Steven sunk back into the fluffy duvet, watching her sleepily pad around his room with a dopey smile, heart full. Unaware, she mussed her wild hair and picked through the collection of things Pearl brought her.

“Hey… Can I borrow a shirt?” She asked, blushing. “Pearl’s pack job is um… lacking.” She turned and showed him a bathrobe, a change of what looked like pink silk underwear, and leggings only.

“Yeah sure, top drawer.” He nodded towards the dresser. She opened it, digging out one of his many black t-shirts with a yellow star. She snagged one, murmuring her thanks and scuttled down the stairs. Steven collapsed back on his bed completely, arms extended, sigh of happiness leaving him.

He heard the bathroom door shut and the shower start up. His eyes shot open.

Oh stars, she was showering. _Oh stars, she was naked._

Last night had certainly helped, but if anything it had lit a fire in him. He was new to a relationship involving touch, especially touch like _that_. He thought of her under the water with a background of the familiar white subway tile of his bathroom, smelling of his lavender soap in all that hot steam… The sounds she had made the night before echoed in his ears. What would it be like to experience those in the acoustics of his shower, completely bared to each other?

That settled it. He was on the move, goal in mind. He chanced a glance down the stairs.

He crept down them, slipping into the living room. So far so good.

The slam of the fridge door made him jump guiltily.

Amethyst grinned at him from in front of it. “Morning dude!” She exclaimed.

“Amethyst!” He exclaimed in forced surprise. He was not subtle.

“Going somewhere?” She asked, smugness palpable as she drank straight from the milk carton. Steven blushed, brain stuttering to a halt.

“Uh.” He could hear the shower running like a siren’s song.

“You two made up, didn't you?” Amethyst pressed him, grin growing.

“Well… We uh…” The water shut off. His hopes died.

There was a shriek from the bathroom, an exploded burst of activity and the door burst open in a cloud of steam. The librarian barreled from it, wet hair twisted on top of her head in a bun, clad in black yoga pants and his black star t-shirt.

 _Oh stars, his black star t-shirt!_ It molded to her figure in a way the half Gem had never seen his shirt do. It was fascinating. Seeing her wearing the Crystal Gems symbol, something of his…

He jerked from his blatant ogling when Amethyst snickered and shoulder checked him.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He asked, coming to his senses.

“It's Monday!” The librarian screeched, panic apparent. “And it's noon!”

“And?” Amethyst asked, unimpressed.

“I'm late to work! The library was supposed to open _three_ hours ago. Oh god, Nanefua is going to kill me!” She panicked, making a beeline for the front door.

She breezed past Steven, halting to press a hurried kiss to his mouth. He melted, stunned a bit by the casual domestic gesture. He could smell a mix of her scent and his lavender soap.

“S’okay.” He assured her, dazed, “Have a good day?” She smiled and he wavered on his feet.

Another kiss, as if it was normal, as if it was regular.

“Bye!” She yelled, blazing a dust trail out the front screen door. Wonder shown in his expression, his pupils tiny stars.

Amethyst saddled up next to him, grinning at the dopey expression on his face, “It _definitely_ looks like you made up to me. _Man_ , you've got it bad, huh?”

Steven blushed furiously at the realization Amethyst had seen it all unfold, “I… Well…”

“Amethyst, quit picking on Steven.” Pearl tutted sternly, breezing in from the Temple inner sanctum. She looked around for a moment, frowning in disappointment.

“Oh. She left already? But Garnet isn’t back yet.”

The front door opened, Garnet breezing in, “I passed her on the way inside and gave her a smoothie. Brought you one too, Steven.” She handed him the to-go cup and Steven silently nodded his appreciation for the portable breakfast.

“Since we’re all together… We should probably talk about yesterday’s battle.” Garnet continued, taking up residence on the couch and settling into an easy lounge.

“What about it?” Amethyst asked flatly, leaning against the fridge, “We kicked Metal butt!”

“This time.” Garnet agreed.

Steven’s shoulders tensed. That did not bode well. He slurped his smoothie furiously.

“What do you mean ‘this time’?” Pearl asked, concerned. Garnet looked grim behind her sunglasses.

“Garnet, what did you see?” Steven asked, far calmer than he felt.

“The future is never fixed. But a Light Prism that belongs to no one is unprecedented.” Garnet admitted. Steven knew the librarian was her own person, that stealing her free will through fealty was wrong.

Hearing Garnet say she didn’t belong to him bothered him anyway.

He sucked harder on his straw, brows pointed downwards in worry. He drifted back to the evening before, mollified slightly by the recent memory.

“Well I don’t see an issue with that.” Pearl stated with a prickly edge, color rising in her cheeks.

Garnet sighed, “Pearl, you know what she is better than most of us. That kind of power of hers… Left out in the open without a conduit? She’ll either burn up or have half the galaxy at Earth’s door in two months.”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Steven interrupted, “Burn up? Why?”

Garnet shot a glance at Pearl who fidgeted, “Light Prisms are essentially a massive power source and an an arsenal in one. They’re normally a pyramid. They’re an artifact, not a person. Armies, weapons, copying abilities… It’s all limitless for a being with a Light Prism on their side. They used to be given to high ranking Gems on Homeworld. But they were wiped from existence some eight thousand years ago. She’s likely the only one left.”

Amethyst looked contemplative at this, “Sounds pretty powerful to me. Why is she um… how do I put this nicely…” Amethyst paused before barreling ahead anyway, “Um, _not_ powerful?”

“Probably because she doesn’t know what she's doing. All that power is meant to have a conduit to run it through. A person to wield it. Without one… Odds are good she’ll burn herself out.” Garnet stated. Amethyst’s mouth fell open. With growing dread, Steven realized that process had already begun.

“She already summoned a weapon and glowed.” Steven pointed out, sinking down onto the couch next to Garnet as he recalled their fight with Copper.

“It shouldn’t be possible. Light Prisms are told by their conduit to create. They don’t do it on their own.” Pearl realized, looking at Garnet with open shock. The fusion nodded sagely.

“She’ll continue to get stronger as she comes in to her powers.” Garnet confirmed. “But until then she’s vulnerable. She has free will. We can’t let her fall into the hands of someone who doesn’t respect that.”

“Like Copper. Why is he showing up now?” Steven mused darkly.

“She likely made a blip on his radar from being around us. Her power is drawn out by Gems or other walks of life from space. She’s never been around Gems until now.” Garnet stated. Steven felt the sinking feeling in his stomach worsen.

This was his fault, their fault. He should convince her to leave Beach City. He should walk away.

He felt a painful pang just thinking of it. Steven thought of the way her touch, her kiss felt. How she looked this morning in his duvet. He couldn’t leave her alone, not with enemies like Copper around. She needed him.

“We’ll just have to keep those crazy space warlords away from her. At least now we know why they’re interested.” Amethyst sighed.

“It explains Steven’s reaction as well.” Garnet nodded.

“What are you talking about, Garnet? I don’t care about weapons or power.” Steven insisted. He gave up the throne as Pink Diamond. He liberated worlds, not enslaved them.

“I know. But being around that kind of power still corrupts. It explains why you were so drawn to her and it could also explain why you’re having trouble with Pink Diamond. You can’t deny you’re very… _protective_ of her.”

It did not sound like protective was Garnet’s first choice of word.

“You’re wrong! What she is has nothing to do with… It’s not… It’s not the main reason I…” Steven stammered and stumbled, sinking feeling in his chest.

He tried again, “Just because I’ve never felt like this about someone doesn’t mean it’s a Gem thing!” His distress was apparent. It wasn’t the only reason he felt a pull, an attraction towards one person for the first time in… Oh stars.

_Was the only reason he was attracted to her because he was part Gem?_

“Steven…” Pearl trailed.

“It doesn’t matter, man.” Amethyst cut in, taking the wind from his sails. “Who cares why you feel the way you feel? It doesn’t change that you’re still feeling it!” She ruffled his curls and he smiled, albeit strained. “Look, it’s obvious you’re crazy about this girl. We all like her too! She’s _family_ now. And family has each others backs.” Steven nodded, partially comforted but still shaken.

Garnet nodded sagely and Pearl welled up in tears, gripping Amethyst by the shoulders, “Amethyst! When did you get so wise?”

She shook the Gem, tears exploding out her eyes like a hose.

“Ugh, P, you’re drowning me! Get off, you sap!” Amethyst groaned dramatically, trying to claw the emotional Gem off of her.

“So it’s settled. We take turns keeping an eye on her until she gets a better hold on her powers.” Garnet clarified, ignoring the bickering between the two Gems.

“I said she was family. I didn’t say I was giving up my free time.” Amethyst groused, arms crossing in a sulk.

“Amethyst! You _just_ said family has each others backs!” Steven exclaimed, eyebrows pointing downwards in dismay.

“Ehhh… Can’t I just be that family member that freeloads food off of her instead?”

“No.” Garnet scolded her and Amethyst huffed.

“Ooh! We can take shifts.” Pearl confirmed, eyes glittering at the hint of an excuse for scheduling. She had a whiteboard in her gem somewhere…

“Or we could just stick _Romeo_ over here with her. He’s with her all the time anyway.” Amethyst pointed out, gesturing at Steven. He blushed, pouting a bit at the title but not rejecting it either.

“He can’t always be around. That’s not healthy. Steven has his own responsibilities too.” Garnet intoned, voice of wisdom as always.

“Uh… Speaking of, what should I tell the Diamonds?” Steven asked, brows knitting in concern.

Garnet frowned, “That path is still not clear to me. I can tell you that over half the possibilities are…unfavorable.”

There was an ominous silence amongst the Crystal Gems, Steven not quite sure he wanted to know what it bore.

“Unfavorable?” Pearl questioned nervously, breaking the ice first.

“The shattering of all or some of us, Era Two resuming, or the end of the universe. Sometimes all of the above. Depends on the timeline.”

Steven slumped and groaned, “Why can’t the universe just stay saved?”

“We could… not tell them?” Amethyst floated, finger gun aimed hopefully at Steven.

“That’s lying.” Steven pointed out with an exasperated tone that said he didn’t approve.

“It’s not lying if they don’t know to ask! Who says we have to mention her?” Amethyst protested.

Garnet tilted her head a bit, weighing the implications of this.

“If half the galaxy shows up after her we may not have a choice.” Pearl muttered dryly.

“We’ll just cross that bridge when we get to it.” Steven sighed, getting up. “I’m gonna shower and swing by Dad’s. Do one of you mind keeping an eye on her until tonight?”

“Sure thing, Steven.” Garnet nodded.

Steven gave them his best practiced smile and headed for the shower, smile fading into a frown as he went.

* * *

Necks had craned as the librarian sped her way over several blocks on foot from Steven’s place, dumping the smoothie into her face as she ran. She hadn’t had coffee, had three missed calls from her Dad, and had endured a powerful telling off by Mayor Nanefua.

However, despite her circumstances, she couldn’t help but feel a bit on Cloud Nine.

She’d spent the night with _Steven Universe._

Her cheeks heated just thinking about that let alone…

Connie Maheswaran burst through the library double doors, to-go coffee cup in hand, eyes narrowing at her across the front desk. Connie pointed at her, gesturing at the star shirt and then back to her face making sputtering noises.

“Hello to you too, Connie.” The librarian patronized, struggling to hide her smile.

“Oh… No. No! You do _not_ get to be quippy right now. I had to hear you spent the night at Steven’s house from Dewey! _Dewey!_ Mayor Donut knows more about your relationship right now than I do!” Connie ranted hotly, stomping up to the circulation counter.

The librarian looked at her with narrowed gaze and gave her a theatrical librarian shushing.

Connie’s lips curled, half in a scowl and a smile, “ _Details_. I want details.”

“Shouldn’t you be harassing Steven?”

“You were closer.” Connie shrugged by way of explanation, “And I suspect you are more easily swayed by caffeine bribes.” Connie sat the to-go cup of coffee in front of her.

Peace offering supplied, the librarian softened a bit, taking a sip out of the cup followed by a long drag.

Connie, wonderful human and top tier friend, remembered how she liked her coffee.

“Sooooo…. Late night?” Connie prompted, deceptively casual. She hopped up, sitting on the edge of the circulation desk, legs dangling. The lurid eyebrow waggle clenched it.

“Oh _alright_.” The librarian hissed, voice low, “I went to train with Amethyst. Copper showed up. There was a big fight with the Gems-”

“Wait, what? Man! I miss all the good stuff.” Connie sulked, cheeks puffed in a pout.

“Yeah, yeah. Steven got stabbed, except he _didn’t_ because you know, healing powers. I went all glowey for a bit and summoned a halberd-“ She waved her hand in a circle, sipping the morning elixir as she went.

“You can do that?”

“I guess?” She quipped, then “Steven took me back to the temple afterwards and he was a perfect gentleman.” She insisted. That part was sort of true. He was a gentleman. A gentleman who had been _very_ hospitable. Her cheeks glowed pink.

“I just fell asleep there.” Also sort of true.

Stars, she was just as rubbish with sort-of trues as she was lying.

She kept her mind focused on anything other than _that_ to keep the blush from her face from tipping her hand. Unfortunately, by the gleam in Connie’s eye she knew this was a lost cause.

“Really?” Connie asked sardonically, brow lifting.

“There… may have been some kissing and… _stuff_.” She mumbled into the lid of her coffee.

“Funny how ‘and stuff’ is conveniently vague.” Connie pointed out. The librarian flushed but didn’t deny it.

Connie sighed, “But I’m glad you two made up.”

“I am too.” The librarian sighed truthfully.

There was a pause.

Connie slowly smiled at her, a full twisted thing like a Cheshire cat, “So how was it?”

“No idea what you mean.” The librarian replied swiftly, slurping her coffee.

“You are just as bad of a liar as Steven.” Connie pointed out, observing her fidgeting.

“Leave me alone, you sadist.”

“Mhm, insults. Telling. That good, huh?” Connie asked, impressed.

The librarian wavered then her head fell, defeated. “Disgustingly good. I’m ruined for life.” The librarian grumbled, making Connie burst into laughter. She whined now, “He healed my eyesight, Connie! I don’t even need these frames anymore.”

“That _is_ good.” Connie smirked. “Surprised you’re here, dressed and out in civilized society. Not naked and still climbing my best friend like a-”

“ _Ohmygod_ you’re the worst.” The librarian inhaled rapidly, practically squeaking.

“Uh, who brought you coffee again? I am _the best._ ” Connie corrected, grinning.

“Point taken.” The librarians brow knitted, “You really heard from Dewey?”

“Yes, a slight I may never recover from.”

“How the heck did _he_ hear about it?” The librarian asked, confused.

Connie grinned at the city girl’s clear lack of understanding at the efficiency of small town gossip.

“Oh you didn’t know? Star t-shirts are the new scarlet letter.” Connie grinned, eyes cutting downward. The librarian groaned into her hands. She had to admit… While she loved wearing Steven’s shirt, it did have a very distinct lack of subtlety about where she spent the night.

They were interrupted by a clatter in the common area. The librarian turned in time to see an inconspicuous Garnet attempting to hide behind a newspaper in front of an over turned display rack. Garnet was not however, dressed as normal. She was in a black suit with new black sunglasses, a failed air of covert about her. There was a coiled earpiece in her ear.

“Garnet. Nice shades as always.” The librarian commented, eyebrow shooting up. “What are you doing here?” She righted the rack and reloaded the fallen books.

“Uh… Secret mission.” Garnet decided after a beat of panic.

“At the library?” She asked, brows knitting in confusion. The only unusual thing happening at the moment was the six foot tall Crystal Gem fusion.

“I’m on assignment.” Garnet admitted, glancing around them suspiciously.

“Future Vision?” The librarian asked.

“Sort of.” Garnet hedged mysteriously but did not elaborate. The librarian sighed, defeated.

“If there’s a fight in the forecast can you divert it outdoors at least? If the library gets demolished in a Gem battle, I’m fairly certain Mayor Nanefeu will murder me.”

Garnet looked stricken at this news and nodded gravely.

She also began talking lowly into an earpiece and turned away from her. The librarian shrugged and headed back to the circulation desk.

“What’s Garnet doing here?” Connie asked, ”And why does she look like she’s gone full Ruby?” The librarian had heard of Rubies and their propensities to take up bodyguard jobs. As mayor, her boss Nanefua often arrived with her own entourage of them. But Nanefua wasn’t here and the librarian was sure Garnet had better things to do.

“I don’t know.” The librarian stated dubiously, “But something is definitely up.” 

* * *

Across town, Steven Universe checked his phone at the notification alert.

_**[renegade pearl]** _

_Dear Steven, I just took over for Amethyst. No sign of any trouble. I’ll keep an eye on her until you’re finished with Greg or Lion shows up. It should not be a problem. Love, Pearl._

_**[Steven Quartz Universe]** _

_Good. Thanks again Pearl. :)_

_**[renegade pearl]** _

_Dear Steven, You are welcome. Love, Pearl._

He really needed to talk to Pearl about texting etiquette again. He shoved his phone back into his jeans pocket and exited the Dondai. He strolled up to the familiar purple, red, orange, and light blue space decal van outside _It’s a Wash_ and rapped his knuckles twice on the steel door.

“Dad?” Steven called out. There was a rustle inside the van and the back door popped open, Greg Universe sticking his balding head out like a gopher. It had been five years since his Dad’s unexpected hair cut and Steven still wasn’t used to seeing him without the flowing mane. He kept it clipped shorter these days, bald spot prominent along with the silver streaks.

“Hey-ya Schtu-ball.” Greg grinned, leaning back inside and popping the door open farther with a swift kick. “What brings you to my office?"

Greg’s over the ear headphones hung off one ear, his laptop open on a milk crate. Steven could faintly hear Sadie and Shep’s newest song blaring through the speakers.

“I… was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d bring you the tracks I’d been working on to see what you think.” He stated, tone overly nonchalant.

“Steven… You know they’re gonna sell. I have no idea why you keep writing songs for other people. You don’t need the money.” Greg’s shoulders sagged. He was proud of his son, but the artist in him still gnashed his teeth at the idea Steven was ghostwriting songs and jingles.

“Just give it a listen.” Steven insisted, long since tired of this debate.

It was true he wasn’t hurting for cash. But his Dad wasn’t hurting for cash either and he still preferred the van. Steven still wanted to earn money and do things his own way. In truth he felt lost, pulled so many directions. Song writing had been one avenue he’d explored. Occasionally, he’d cave to agent phone calls and write another round. _You’ve got a natural ear! Perfect pitch! Give me another batch anytime; they’ll all be hits!_

Greg cut the music he was working on and inserted the CD into his disc drive. Steven stared skyward as the clouds rolled by, expression unreadable as his Dad spent around twenty minutes to listen through.

Greg pulled his headphones off at the end and ejected the disc, turning it back over to Steven. His expression was solemn. As a parent, he’d both looked forward to and rued this day. He could never be ready for this. Now it was here. Where had the time gone? It felt like yesterday he was drinking beer from a cooler out of the back of the van and raving to Vidalia about the mysterious pink haired woman in the white dress he met on the beach.

He kicked his feet out the back door, taking the same place he always did next to his son, for once feeling every year his age. The elder Universe raised his gaze to the clouds as well, silence settling between them for a moment.

“You can’t sell that stuff, son.” Greg stated with a sigh after a long beat.

“Why? Is it terrible?” Steven asked self-consciously, cheeks tinting pink as his head swiveled from the clouds to his Dad abruptly.

“No. The opposite actually… They’re incredible. But that’s why you can’t sell them. Those kind of songs…” Greg exhaled, “They’re not meant to be sung by someone else. They’re special. They’re your songs, sure, but they’re also _hers_.”

“They’re just songs.” Steven protested, fidgeting. Something in him sank hearing it aloud.

“They’re more than that. I wrote the same kind of stuff when I met your mother.” Greg looked wistful now, that same tone that always made Steven feel awkward. But this time it didn’t.

“But you were in love with Mom!” A _nd she died and you were a wreck._ “And I… Well I… I don’t know if what I’m feeling is because I’m a Gem or because I’m human.” He admitted, tone sinking.

Greg rubbed the back of his neck, “The Gem thing was never my specialty…” He paused but at the distraught look on Steven’s face he forged ahead, “But ah… What makes you think being part Gem has something to do with how you’re feeling, kiddo?”

Steven exhaled. It was a loaded question, “It’s kind of a long story…”

Greg smiled at this, “I’ve got time.”

So he opened the top of the cooler in the van and handed Steven a soda. Father and son popped the top and Greg settled in for the whole saga.

Slowly, carefully, Steven started stumbling his way through events from the beginning. Greg tensed at the mention of pink episodes once more, reminded of the dark days, of The Summer Where It All Went Wrong. But he held in his fear, nodding and making active listening noises as Doctor Bright had recommended he do as Steven took him through it all.

Unstuck after so long, the words came fast and furious for Steven now. He tiptoed around anything racy and he toned down some encounters.

This was still his Dad and _he’d rather die, thank you very much_.

But he did talk about Pink Diamond. How Pink Diamond was paranoid about her safety. How Pink Diamond was jealous and constantly wanted her for himself. Definitely just Pink Diamond.

 _Certainly_ not human Steven Universe.

By the end of his second can, Greg was grinning, a knowing smile playing around his mouth, “Well if you want my opinion, it doesn’t sound like a Gem thing to me.”

“It doesn’t?” Steven asked, eyes wide.

“No _pe_.” Greg grinned, last syllable popping loudly, “Sounds like love to me.”

Steven, for his part, was a living statue as his brain made mayday noises and crashed.

“ _Love_?” Steven choked, voice high and strangled. _Oh stars._

His thoughts glitched like a vinyl record with a scratch as he struggled and churned over the possibility. _Love_.

Steven was quick, typically, to declare his love for things. Food, brands, songs, locations… Nothing was exempt from his liberal application of the word. It’d been his favorite concept to teach at Little Homeworld.

But to be _in_ love with someone… Someone that could leave, someone that could _die_.

On this, he was far from quick. He was downright terrified.

Besides, what was being in love even _really_ like? The only stable, healthy relationship he’d seen up close was a Gem fusion. Even then, he rarely saw Ruby and Sapphire separated and interacting with each other when there wasn’t a crisis. His own family wasn’t exactly nuclear.

There were the Maheswarens, but he’d always been too busy hanging out with Connie, hadn’t been around them enough to _really_ observe.

What was it like, he wondered, to be in love with someone but still be your own people?

He’d seen schmaltzy movies, sure. In fact, romantic comedies were some of his favorites. If those were anything to go by, being in love seemed to come with a large amount of drama resolved by kissing in the rain.

_But love in real life? And what came next after the rain kissing?_

He didn’t know.

The day-to-day, ins-and-outs of being in love, a successful, _normal_ human relationship… It was a complete mystery. He wasn’t even a successful, normal human!

He was starting to think it’d be easier if this _was_ a Gem thing.

Greg quirked an eyebrow, “Well like I said I’m no Gem expert here but… Listening to you and listening to your lyrics…. Her ability to make you laugh, or thoughtfulness for others, or ability to debate you on topics you both care about are not Light Prism traits last time I checked. They’re human ones.”

Greg was right, of course. The songs had flowed ever since Steven met her, scribbled on napkins, on receipts, in notebooks around his room. He’d written songs about how she looked on their first date in space, when the supernova danced on her skin. He’d written songs about the sound of her laugh. He’d written songs about her fights with him, his earnest desire to always fight _for_ her not _against_ her.

That she was kind, that she was beautiful, that there was no one else like her.

 _Love_.

“But the Gems said…” Steven faltered, panic steadily rising. He couldn’t. He _couldn’t_.

Greg shrugged, “Maybe we’re both right. Who says it has to be _all_ of one thing or _all_ of another? You’re part Gem. You’re also part human. It was never going to be an easy answer for you two. But if every pork chop was perfect…”

“We wouldn’t have hot dogs.” Steven finished with a sigh and his Dad nodded sagely.

Steven’s expression deepened, “I don’t… Love is actually… really scary to think about.” He admitted in one big rush.

Greg smiled, “That’s okay. No one says you have to know now or even tomorrow how you feel. Half the fun of being in love is the road to getting there.”

“But… _if it is love_ …” Steven continued, voice small, “What if I do it wrong?”

The question was so soft Greg nearly missed it.

“Some people do.” Greg turned pensive, “It’s sort of like… dancing.” He settled on finally.

“Dancing?” Steven asked, confused.

“Yeah, dancing!” Greg was excited now, “You can dance well with a lot of people. And some people, well, they step on your feet and are _terrible_. But then you find that _one_ partner that just seems to know how to groove with you better than anyone else could! And you realize you weren’t _actually_ dancing before. The steps may have been there but it didn’t add up.”

“Well that’s cause the only math in dance is in the two step.” Steven said slyly.

Greg’s mouth opened and then he let out a booming laugh, Steven’s slow laughter bubbling along with his.

Steven’s mirth faded and he set the rest of his soda behind him in the van. His hands flexed in his lap, fists then open. Greg stayed silent, watching the gears turn in his son.

“I don’t know if she’s the right dance partner for me. But…. I just want to keep dancing with her as much as I can, until I figure it out…” He trailed, flushing brightly when he realized his Dad was watching him with a knowing grin.

Greg knew that feeling all too well. It was the opening number. He remembered when he started it with Rose.

“So…” Greg trailed innocently, “When are you bringing her by to meet your old man?”

“Dad.” Steven groaned, hiding his smile.

“What? I can’t meet her?” Greg protested, expression pitiful and pleading, “Steven! Come on! I’ll wear the sweater and everything if you want me to!”

Steven laughed, feeling lighter already, “I’ll bring her by some time. No sweater required.” 

* * *

Across town, the librarian quickly found herself at the heart of a Crystal Gems conspiracy, of which Garnet _-in the library, by the book rack, with the sunglasses-_ was only the beginning. The librarian felt eyes on her all day and it wasn’t just because of her wardrobe.

She took a late lunch and sat on the pier, sandwich and book in hand. Her bare feet dangled in the water. Across the bay on a tugboat, a purple bald eagle wearing black sunglasses watched her eat.

She spun by the bank to deposit her paycheck and Pearl, also wearing sunglasses, was the teller. _Ah yes, a deposit. If this infernal machine would cooperate…_ Pearl had then proceeded to shove her hand, librarian’s check and all, through the bank computer screen.

She locked up the library at closing time and was stalked home by Lion, incredibly also wearing sunglasses. That she enjoyed. People gave her a wide berth through the streets with the pink African jungle cat at her heels. Enough she was able to stick her nose back in her book while she walked through town unhindered.

The librarian sighed as she let herself through her front garden gate, unsurprised to see Steven Universe lounging on the bench swing on her front porch, black shades sliding down his nose as he shot her a grin.

Fresh from seeing his Dad, Steven felt his nervousness swell, thoughts and fears churning, but he hid it. That all dissipated as he watched her talk to Lion. She was talking to him animatedly like a person and he grinned.

She held the gate open for the giant cat with shades, brow arched, “Are you coming in, sir?”

“You’re calling Lion sir.” Steven observed, voice dry with disbelief.

“It’s a sign of respect. He’s a gentleman.” The librarian insisted, not breaking eye contact from the giant pink Gem ally.

“He hacks up hairballs on my rug the size of baseballs.”

“Ahw, he just has a sensitive palate. Isn’t that right, baby?” She cooed. Lion wrinkled his snout and she made a coaxing noise, scratching him under the chin for a moment. Lion’s eyes crossed before they closed, nose lifting sky high to give her access for further chin scratches. Her voice was high and sweet, tones pinched, “You’re such a cute kitter, aren’t you, you absolute unit? You’re such a good boy.”

Steven’s mouth hung open at the sight of her baby talking Lion. Lion never let him do that!

She scratched with both hands through the thick fur, making kissy sounds. Steven was fairly certain the purring noises beginning to emanate from the oversized house cat could classify as a lower level earthquake.

“Don’t encourage him. He’s spoiled enough as it is.” Steven grumbled, slightly bitter.

Lion cracked his eyes to stare at Steven contemptuously for a moment before shaking off the glasses and flouncing off through the sand.

“Ahw Lion! Come on! Those were hard to find for a cat your size!” Steven protested after him.

The librarian struggled not to laugh at Steven’s defeated expression.

“Traitor.” He sulked, “How long have you been plotting to lure him away from me with chin scratches?”

The librarian’s smile was slow and mirthful, “Oh from the start. The odds are against you, Universe. It’s well documented that the Venn diagram of cat lovers and librarians is just a circle.”

Steven’s eyes narrowed accusingly, “You’re bribing him, aren’t you?”

The librarian flushed guiltily, “I… might be giving him my fried chicken. At least until the Lion Lickers shipment I ordered arrives.” At Steven’s snort her shoulders rose defensively, “What? He’s a growing boy!”

Steven rolled his eyes, “He’s _definitely_ spoiled. I can’t believe I’m jealous of a cat.”

She smirked at this, “I can give you chin scratches and call you a good boy too, if you ask nicely.”

Steven’s cheeks exploded red all the way out to his ears and his sunglasses slid down his nose ridge, hands flapping nervously.

“I… Well…” He felt tongue-tied and she grinned. She climbed the porch, humming slightly and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. His panic melted as did his expression, shoulders relaxing.

“How was your day? Let me guess, secret mission?” She asked, knowingly. He was wearing a suit similar to Garnet’s.

“What gave me away?” He asked, genuinely perplexed.

She bit her lip, trying hard not to smile but failing. His shoulders dropped in defeat at her laugher. She beamed, shooing him to move over on the bench swing. She settled in next to him on the white wood swing, bag dropping to the porch slats by their feet.

“You said no secrets. I believe that includes secret missions.” She accused and Steven scowled. “Start talking.”

He scratched his cheek, “Did I say secret mission? I meant _ambiguous_ mission.”

“Uh-huh.” She intoned, disbelief thick, “I’m assuming this _ambiguous_ mission is the reason I’m suddenly the pied piper of Crystal Gems.”

“Well yeah. If they admitted they were guarding you, you would have told them to go home.” Steven shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. The librarian opened her mouth to object but closed it, lips pursing when she realized he was right.

She rubbed her temple, eyes closed and eyebrows high, “I feel like I’ve missed something?”

Because surely there was something.

So Steven told her. His shoulders hunched as he recalled what Garnet had told them that morning, about her power, about the danger, and about how the Crystal Gems had committed to look after her until she was stronger.

“You… don’t seem that upset.” Steven remarked, fresh off the news that her burning up via lack of power conduit was a possibility. The librarian sighed stretching.

“Well… There’s a lot of assumptions baked in to that.” She pointed out and Steven’s brow furrowed, “There’s nothing saying _I_ can’t learn to control it. And you’re a Diamond so if anyone could handle me, it’s you.”

Steven smirked, “Do you know that from _hands on_ experience?”

She groaned and stuck her tongue out at him, making a face. He grinned.

“But what I _do_ have a problem with is the babysitting. You and the Crystal Gems can’t give up your own lives to follow me around forever in the off chance something _might_ happen. I _might_ walk to work tomorrow and get hit by a car and die. You never know.” She shrugged her shoulders, eyes closing as she talked. When she opened them, her face fell.

Steven looked positively _stricken_.

“I s-should talk to Mayor Nanefeu about banning cars in town anyway. The emissions are bad for the environment.” Steven stated shakily, reaching for his cell phone.

The librarian laughed, hand on his forearm, stilling him, “Steven, that’s not the point. What I mean is… It’s not fair to you or the Gems.”

Steven’s shoulders slumped, “I just want to protect you.”

He froze, feeling her head lean against his upper arm, “I know. But you can’t control everything.”

_You ridiculous, wonderful man._

“To keep you safe? Watch me.” Steven challenged petulantly, cheeks puffing in a huff.

She sighed, pulling back to look up at him, “Look, this is all because I don’t have full use of my powers, right? So let’s change that. What if I widened my training teachers to all Crystal Gems? Met with someone new every day?”

“That’s too hard on you. The Gems want to do this. I want to do this. Just let us.” He stated. It sounded suspiciously like he was begging. It also didn't hurt that his brown eyes were all soft and doughy like a pleading pet seeing human food. It was criminal and she floundered.

“What about every other day? And you ease up on the babysitters.” She tried again.

“Three times a week max and the _bodyguards_ stay exactly as is.” Steven countered, demeanor shifting stern as he entered the negotiations with her. His gaze narrowed and locked on hers but she didn’t shrink. Her chin raised. Fleetingly he wondered if kissing her until she forgot words would be an effective argument strategy.

“Training counts as a bodyguard duty. On my rest days, the Gems just hang out with me, no espionage.” She proposed. He supposed that sounded fair.

He nodded briskly, “Done. But we get to keep the sunglasses.”

The librarian laughed, “Agreed.”

She reached her hand out and he shook it.

Deal brokered, she sighed, eying up Steven’s black suit and tie look. She had yet to see him in such an outfit and had to admit the tailoring as well as his commitment to a bit were impressive.

“Are you my guard for the evening, then?” She asked, rising to her feet. She scooped up her bag, digging out her keys. Steven stood as well, moving to follow.

“At your service, my lady.” Steven gave her a sweeping bow, kissing her hand.

“Why don’t you come inside and service me there?” The innuendo slid out of her mouth without passing a filter. She immediately blushed but did not take it back.

Steven’s cheeks exploded in crimson once more as he stretched back to full height, flustered but loosening the knot of his tie,“If my lady commands.”

“Well, I’m not _ordering_ you to do anything but if you _wanted_ to come inside…?” She trailed, smile rising as she stared up at him. Steven nodded, blush still heavy, as his gaze flicked down her form. His fingers brushed out, rubbing the fabric of her t-shirt sleeve.

“You’re still wearing my shirt.” He murmured lowly. A pause, “It looks good on you.”

“Is that a yes, Universe?” She asked, her eyes sparkling as her smile grew wider. His heart seized, her head tipped back to stare up at him more than it called for.

It was invitation he couldn’t refuse.

He answered her by closing the gap between them and slanting his mouth over hers. She hummed happily, fingers brushing his jaw. She swayed on her feet, wavering and bumping into her front door. He smiled into her mouth, noting her sharp inhale as he pressed onwards urgently, his series of kisses blending into one prolonged press against her lips.

She took a step back, trapped between the doorway and his large frame. Steven swept his hands down her sides, grasping her hips and lifting her off the ground as if she was weightless. Exhilarated laughter bubbled from her, her expression wondrous at his casual display of super strength. It lit something in her blood and she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him again and again until his head spun. _Stars_.

She could feel his hand fumbling next to her, at the keys in the door handle. She took advantage of the opportunity, hands sliding down his face to his jaw. She tilted her head, angle changing as she kissed him deeply, languishing in him, like she had dreamed of all day.

Steven made a strangled noise that sounded suspiciously like a whine and he pushed her front door open, stumbling inside with his hands full of her. He managed to close the door, wasting no time in pressing her against the other side. The contact made her gasp and he swallowed it, nipping at her mouth teasingly. Her hands were clenched tightly in his hair, clinging to the swell of his bicep. They moved, rocking in an eager exploration of the other with hands. It was a push and swell, a dance that felt familiar even though Steven hadn't done the steps with anyone. It was her turn to make a sound, soft and needy as he swept his tongue into her mouth.

From behind them there was a click, the living room lamp turning on.

“Guess that explains why you never called.”

Steven and the librarian froze, effect similar to being doused in a bucket of ice water.

They broke apart, hands sliding off each other. Steven let her slip down his front to plant her feet on solid ground. He turned to face the voice, staying in front of her, eyes burning pink.

“Lars.”

The space captain was lounging in her red wing backed chair like he owned the place. Lars raised one hand to his chest, the other skywards in a show of dramatic presentation.

“The one and only. Good to see you, Steven.” Lars gave him an upbeat smile, before pointing at the librarian, “But I’m here for her.”

Steven felt his whole body stiffen. The librarian tensed but raised her chin, refusing to be embarrassed, “What do you want? And why are you in my house?”

“You have so many eager Gem friends lately.” Lars sighed, a bit of sulk evident, “It’s hard to get you alone.”

“She’s not alone right now, either.” Steven pointed out tartly.

“I can see that.” Lars pointed out, smirk apparent. The librarian held out for a moment then furiously blushed as Lars raked his gaze down her from head to toe. She was fairly certain Steven actually growled at this.

“Man, you really grew up. Didn’t think you had _that_ in you, Universe.”

“Out, Lars. Right now.” Steven snapped, at his limits.

“I don’t think so, dude.” Lars sighed breezily. He twirled the destabilizer between his fingers like a baton, tube dancing round and round in his hand. Behind him the librarian’s eyes widened, fingers curling into the back of Steven’s suit jacket.

Earlier on the porch, she had felt like the Crystal Gems guarding her was just Steven being overprotective. Now she was re-evaluating that belief. She felt like she was witnessing a slow moving car accident. She couldn’t look away and she was filled with dread.

“Where did you get that?” Steven only asked lowly.

He didn’t need to pat his pockets to know it was missing.

“This? Oh… That’s my little secret. Take you back, Steven? Remember? Topaz and Aquamarine? If I recall correctly these things hurt like the devil.” Lars mused.

The librarian’s calm demeanor cracked slightly at his insinuation.

“Enough! What do you want?” The librarian demanded, stepping out around Steven to face the space captain fully. Her fingertips ghosted Steven’s arm as she emerged, keeping contact with him to reassure him and if she was being honest, herself. It only partially worked.

“What I’ve always wanted since you and I first met. _We need to talk_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lars is such a chaotic neutral little shit and I love him. I laugh every time thinking about him pre-scene  
> sitting there in the dark like a parent waiting to bust a kid past curfew. 
> 
> This chapter was just fun. Like just so much fun to write. 
> 
> For the look on Connie's face at the beginning of her segment, please refer to the pointing Leonardo DiCaprio meme. The Gems going full security detail is the kind of extra ass energy they would bring. Greg and Steven talking through feelings like adults is the parenting I want to see post SUF. And Lion... well... shout out to my own two mini Gem beasts for the inspo. Til next time, readers xoxo


	11. Lars of the Stars, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting early this week. Because the next chapter may be a late post with the holidays. Enjoy this behemoth until then.

Steven Universe generally regarded himself as a pacifist, although he had worked extensively on the finer points of anger management thanks to The Summer Where It All Went Wrong.

He was still partially human after all. _Nobody’s perfect._

As such, he tried not to be too hard on himself for having a sudden urge to toss _Laramie Barriga_ out the librarian’s window.

What stopped him was two fold: the librarian’s hand on his tensing forearm and the fact that he’d had her windows repaired once this month already. It would be a hassle to get Bismuth back out here again so soon.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t sorely tempted to toss Lars on through it anyway.

He glared at the pink space captain who seemed to drape over the red high backed wing chair like it was a throne. Lars grinned cheekily, rearranging a cross of those long legs, destabilizer waffling in hand.

_We need to talk._

“We’re talking right now, aren’t we?” The librarian pointed out with a composed patience Steven did _not_ empathize with. Steven felt the blood rush in his ears and he tamped down a strong desire to push her back fully behind him where he knew it was safe.

“Don't get me wrong, sweetheart I _love_ an audience. But what are the chances of us talking alone?” Lars asked her hopefully, with a raised brow, glancing at Steven again.

Like he was the unwelcome one.

Steven shook up to his curls, indignant in anger, “Not _even_ an option.”

What could have happened had he not come inside? Had she been alone? Steven’s gaze burned pink, pupils pointed Diamond with no hint of cooling.

“I didn’t realize her living room was under Diamond Authority. Let the lady speak for herself.” Lars pointed out, tone scathing.

Steven’s gaze widened and he glanced down at her, confidence shaken.

The librarian’s arms only folded across her chest, gaze trained on Lars. She looked stern but really it was to hide the tremors in her hands, “Anything you say to me can be said with Steven here. Provided you both can be civil.”

Her eyes bounced between the two men, feeling increasingly as if it was a hard ask.

“Tell that to your angry Diamond boyfriend. I’m not the one with glowing eyes.” Lars scowled.

“And I’m not the one waving a weapon around.”

There was a long pause, neither moving, both still glaring.

“Well this is going well.” Lars appraised sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“You’re scaring her.” Steven continued accusingly.

Lars deflated a bit though, seeing the wide eyed look from the librarian, guilt nagging.

“Look, I’m not here to hurt anybody. The destabilizer trick was just insurance. You know, so you’d _not_ immediately punch me in the face for being here? Chill.”

Steven did not look convinced or, in Lars’ terms, _chill_. The two locked eyes, lightening practically flashing between them.

The librarian took a glance at the force of will and testosterone in her living room and sighed.

“Lars…” His gaze broke from Steven’s and she chewed her lip slightly, debating, “Are you really just here to talk?”

The skepticism was heavy but the captain’s gaze softened, then nodded, “Scout’s honor.”

He wasn't a Scout but he figured the sentiment was what mattered.

She gave him a long look and then, returned the nod, “Alright then.”

She gave Steven’s arm a squeeze, catching his gaze. He stared at her surprised, eyes fading from pink to brown. The set of her shoulders relaxed at this, at seeing he was himself once more. Reassured, she slipped past him and breezed into her kitchen. Lars watched the exchange with interest but for once chose not to comment.

“I’ll put the kettle on.”

If she’d learned anything from Steven it was that everyone deserved a chance to explain.

She was sure he’d agree once the machismo aired out.

She grabbed the copper tea kettle off her stove and filled it with water. Lars didn’t appear to her to be malicious, just haphazardly awkward. It was in some of his mannerisms, the way his eyes darted around. He wasn’t as confident as he tried to appear. She knew a thing or two about that.

Besides, Steven was here. He always made her feel safe.

Unsurprisingly, Steven had followed her, trailing after her into the kitchen like a mopey bloodhound. The librarian moved around him, opening cabinets and rummaging around within the safety of his orbit. He cooly leaned against her countertop with crossed arms, still tense. If Lars made a move for her, he’d have go through him first.

Lars made no move to get up from his chair, absently still waffling the destabilizer tube between his middle and index like a pen. Steven’s gaze trained on it.

The librarian glanced over her shoulder, “Lars, can I get you anything? A holster, maybe?” She floated the heavy suggestion from the kitchen, catching the bunched appearance of Steven’s shoulders and his heavy fixation on the device.

Lars looked chagrined and glanced at the destabilizer, “Oh. Yeah, sorry.”

He set the weapon on her coffee table, gloved hands raised as he sat back from it, leaning into her chair with far more ease than Steven considered appropriate. “Nice place you got here.”

“Thank you.” She stated curtly, pulling out a tin of loose tea leaves and giving them an obligatory shake. She paused, “Although the security could use some work. How _did_ you get in?”

Lars shrugged, “I found your spare key under the flower pot arrangement on the porch. My parents used to do the same thing.”

She dutifully avoided Steven’s pointed look in her direction with pink cheeks. She’d be changing the locks and moving the key tomorrow, it seemed.

“I assume you have a very good reason for breaking in.” She continued conversationally, taking the kettle as it began to screech and pouring it over the yellow herbal tea leaves in a glass tea pot. The sweet smell of chamomile drifted through the room and she brought it along with three tea cups and a sugar pot into the living room.

“Well… Like I said, I _did_ use a key. Is that _really_ considered breaking and entering?” Lars proposed philosophically. She settled in across from him on her couch, Steven next to her.

“Yes.” Steven declared sourly, “Why are you here?”

She poured Steven a cup, neatly interrupting his attempt at menace by handing it to him.

“Be nice.” She scolded him and Lars watched with raised brows as the youngest member of the Great and Powerful Diamond Authority actually _pouted_.

“Why are you taking his side?” Steven mumbled glumly and she rolled her eyes.

“I'm not. But unless I'm mistaken, you two _are_ friends. You'd realize that if you'd set your dumb pride aside for a second and used your big grown up people words.” Lars was surprised when the librarian leaned forward and smoothly poured him tea as well.

“Hah! Man, does she always school you like this?” Lars snickered gleefully. Steven practically growled.

She fixed Lars with an even stare, “That was partially directed at you. We’re all ears, captain.”

Steven looked supremely smug at this but in the interest of good tea, Lars let it go.

Lars huffed, “Alright, alright. It’s like this. When I ran into you in the Big Donut I already knew who you were, sort of.” He admitted. “I recognized you.”

Lars turned his wrist, typing into his watch for a moment. He pointed it above her coffee table and a hologram of her from the waist up appeared. There were strange figures and Gem glyphs underneath.

The librarian’s glyph reading was still rudimentary but she scrunched her face, getting the gist, “Is that a wanted poster?”

Steven read aloud, translating faster, “Renegade property of the Metal Consortium last sighted on Crystal System Colony Planet Earth. If found, please return by care of Copper, Electric Grade, C101 for a reward of four thousand Federation Standard credits.”

“I stand corrected. That’s a lost and found poster.” She grumbled, “I’m assuming it's from the classifieds right along with the other missing pets.” Her expression soured knowing that from a Metal point of view, her and Lassie were sharing a column.

“You’re not far off.” Lars admitted. Her expression grew strange for a moment, hope peaking.

“Is… four thousand credits a lot?” She asked them both curiously, feeling flattered.

“Not really.”

She grumbled under her breath about cheapskate aliens and nursed her tea.

“It’s not exactly nothing though, either. Did you come here to kidnap her?” Steven asked pointedly over the edge of his teacup. He was enjoying his tea. He weighed that enjoyment against the Throwing Lars Out a Window plan again carefully.

“Well.. I _did_ think about it for like, a hot second… I mean, our crew could _really_ use cash. Our warp core has been on the fritz for at least a year.” Lars debated aloud, glancing at the ceiling.

Steven’s voice was iron, “She’s a person, Lars.”

“I can see that! And that’s what made me curious in the first place. A human in the classifieds is super rare. And the wording... That's weird too. There's no mention as to what kind of property or any further details. Finding out you’re a Light Prism though? Well I can see why Copper didn’t want that in the papers.” Lars explained.

“If you’re not here to turn me in… What _do_ you want?” She asked, setting her empty cup onto the coffee table.

“I want you to help me plan your own heist.” Lars stated confidently, doing the same.

“Uh, what?”

Lars grinned, a devious thing, “Keep up, angel. Copper’s listing you in the paper as vague as possible and cheap. He’s trying to have someone _find you_ but not find out _what you are_. That’s because if people _do_ find out what you are, it’s open season. It would be a literal galaxy arms race.”

“Still failing to see where the heist comes in.” She frowned.

“Sure, I could turn you in and collect the reward.” Lars stated, tone bored. Steven tensed.

“Or…” He paused, leaning towards her over the coffee table with a sly grin, eyes shining, “I could advertise I just found a _Light Prism_ and hold an auction. If you’re as rare as I keep hearing I figure I could make… at least five million credits?”

“You’re not selling her either.” Steven cut in firmly, feeling a bit like a broken record. He set his own cup on the table. His anger had downgraded a few levels from Burning to Deeply Irritated.

“Chill, man. Of course I’m not. _This_ is where the heist comes in.”

The wheels in the librarian’s brain turned, smile forming, “You’ll take the money but when it comes time to hand me over, I won’t be there. I’ll have disappeared.”

“Bingo bongo.” Lars grinned, “Now you’re getting it.”

“Oh man. Space heist.” The librarian breathed, eyes glittering with stars. Then, with furrowed brow, “Wait, which one of us is _Danny Sea_ in this scenario?”

Lars snickered at the _Sea’s Eleven_ reference, “ _Clearly_ I am. I'm the one assembling a crew.”

The librarian's eyes got wider, full on sparkles with constellations at this hanging in air at the knowledge a crew had been assembled. She wondered if she could borrow Steven's bodyguard shades for it.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Steven interrupted them, waving the stars from the air with flapping hands, “This sounds dangerous. Why should we?”

“Well now… Other than the fun of it.” Lars pointed out, grin wolfish at her still dazzled expression, “Right now, Copper thinks she’s on Earth. If she gets stolen at some intergalactic auction, that opens up the galaxy for her to be hiding in. He’ll also have to deal with the competition. It probably won’t work forever but it could slow him down.”

The librarian’s dazzled expression faded to contemplative.

“Competition is sugar coating it. You’re talking about bringing other beings into it, leading them right to Earth with a welcome mat _and_ sparking an arms race. Which, by the way, is a violation of the Accords I started.” Steven argued, very sore about the last bit.

Lars rolled his eyes, “They wouldn’t know what door to knock on if we lay a trail elsewhere. Keep ‘em busy a few galaxies away for a while? You’re naive if you think the universe is abiding by your little Accord of non-proliferation anyway. Everyone’s still collecting their toys in case there’s another war, they’re just being real sneaky about it.”

Steven opened his mouth to object and the librarian interjected, “So you’re saying you’d lead them away from Earth in exchange?” She clarified.

Lars grinned, “I hop around a lot. It’ll keep them busy for a long while.”

“No. No way.” Steven insisted, staring at her. “It’s way too risky.”

Lars groaned, fighting the urge to bang his fist against his forehead in frustration. This is exactly why he’d wanted to have this conversation alone with her.

“But you haven’t even heard my ace in the hole yet, my _pièce de résistance_.” His gaze turned back to her, sly expression reemerging, “I know where you came from.”

The librarian deadpanned, “Empire City?”

“No.” Lars grinned, “Where you _really_ came from.”

Her face was an open book, shock prominent as her brain made dial-up internet noises and struggled to process his words. 

“Mhmm... Help me and I’ll give you the coordinates.” He quirked an eyebrow, expression smug.

“I…”

Steven interrupted her, “How do you know that?”

Lars grinned, a lazy lift of a smirk, “Like I said, I get around a lot. I’ve been there. I’ve seen the place where Light Prisms come from with my own two eyes….”

Steven opened his mouth but the librarian cut him off this time.

“Will you excuse us for a second?” She asked with an overly polite smile and a honey tone. Lars nodded and she tossed him the television remote.

She took Steven by the hand and practically drug him down the hall. 

She ushered him into her bedroom and fixed him with an accusing stare. She shut the bedroom door behind them.

“What is it?” Steven asked, brows furrowing in confusion.

“You’re doing the thing again.”

“What thing?” He asked, shoulders raising defensively. He hung back in her doorway, arms crossed, body tense.

The librarian groaned, “Where you decide stuff without asking me what I want.”

Steven inhaled sharply, seeing the frown at her mouth and he wrestled all of his fear back. She looked upset but not angry and he ran a hand back through his curls, ruffling them and inwardly berating himself. Why did he keep doing this? Was he destined to keep messing this up?

He took a deep breath, asking, “Well what do you want?”

“I want to make a decision together and _not_ fight.” She insisted with such deep conviction that it made Steven’s eyes widen. Her eyes searched his, trying to make heads or tails of how he was feeling. He was normally very expressive but right now it was like he’d built a wall between them.

Steven nodded, “I want that too! But I… I don’t know…”

“It’s okay.” She assured him, “Let’s talk about it, just you and me.” She hopped up onto her bed, legs crossing like a pretzel as she stuck her feet under her thighs. She stared at Steven expectantly and patted her mattress.

“You’ll… hear me out?” Steven asked, a bit caught off guard. She didn’t seem angry, didn’t seem to automatically dismiss him or patronize him. The Gems and the Diamond’s were much improved on how they communicated with him but old wounds and old fears still manifested and he shifted nervously in her doorway.

“Well… Yeah? We _are_ dating and you _do_ have more experience than me when it comes to both Lars and space. I wanna know your opinion.” She asked honestly, grabbing a pillow that resembled a sheep. She hugged it to her chest, chewing on her bottom lip, chin resting on it as she stared at him.

Steven sighed, pushing off from the door way. Talk. He could just talk. He’d talked to tons of beings, even hostile ones. Why was he still nervous? He threw himself across the top of her mattress, nostrils inundated with the smell of laundry detergent and her scent from the face full of duvet.

He debated his answer and then, “Lars is a good guy. I wouldn’t have brought him back to life if he wasn’t. But it’s also been a super long time since then, most of which he and I’ve spent fighting about him looting planets that used to belong to Homeworld.”

“Uh… Did you say you brought him back to life?” She interrupted cautiously, expression incredulous. Steven propped his head up, looking at her now.

“Why else did you think he was pink?” Steven shrugged, “Lion’s the same way. Although that was Mom…” His fingers wiggled as if to weigh the semantics.

“Do you have a monopoly on the color pink or something?” She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. He stuck his tongue out at her.

“No! But come on, bookworm. That one should have been obvious.” Steven teased her.

Her mouth fell open in mock offense and she huffed, bopping him repeatedly with her sheep pillow. “No. It. Shouldn't!” She punctuated her words with several pillow whacks, making him dissolve into laughter. “Your magic is just insanely overpowered and it’s not fair!”

Steven threw up an arm, rolling over to protect his face laughing as she continued her pillow assault. He knocked it free from her grasp and she sulked. She debated reclaiming it but it was just _so far_. She flopped in defeat where she lay, face just north of Steven’s gem. She propped her chin up on her fist on top of his stomach and stared up at him.

Steven’s laughter faded to pink cheeks as he realized she wasn’t moving. Her eyebrows arched high as if daring him to move her but he didn’t, instead only twisting a curl of her hair around his index and middle, playing with it. He relaxed further, happiness sliding through him. 

Steven hummed, thought registering as he played with her strands, “Lars’ hair and Lion’s mane are connected via a pocket dimension. Not sure why, but it has its uses. Mainly for getting places fast. I can step in one and go out the other.”

She blinked rapidly, digesting this. One of these days, he’d quit surprising her.

“Can other people go through with you?” She asked, chewing her bottom lip. Steven found it adorable.

“Yeah, I’ve pulled people through before.”

She nodded, “Okay, a quick escape route is a plus.”

There was hesitation now and her eyes darted down, before catching his own, “But you still don’t want me to do this.”

Steven’s smile mellowed and he relinquished the curl he was playing with. His voice was quiet, resigned, “I think it’s easy for Lars to ask you since he won’t be the one in the most danger. You will. And I… I don’t want that for you.”

He tensed, expecting the worst. 

Instead she only sighed, expression longing. She rolled off of Steven and stared up at the rafters of her ceiling, “I know but… Stars, Steven, it’s a chance to know where I came from. There could be answers there. Actual _answers_ about what it means to be a Light Prism. None of Pearl’s books have any and I just… I _just_..”

The yearning in her voice made Steven’s heart ache. He remembered, oh how he remembered, that same need for answers about his powers, who he was. He’d chased answers about his mom, about Rose, for most of his childhood. His expression softened.

“I know… I know you want this.” Steven admitted, knowing he was fighting a losing battle when she looked over and up at him from her spot on her back. He’d seen that face before. It was usually him who made it. “But it’s just coordinates. There’s no guarantees.”

He watched the hope on her face crumble and he reached across the mattress to her, dragging her up to him tightly in a hug. He could feel her turmoil, the swirl of emotions in her. He hated it. He cupped her face, drawing her gaze up to the open worry in his, “I don’t want to lose you over a gamble… or so Lars’ can get money for his stupid engine.”

She laughed at the last bit, lips pouting as she faded to serious contemplation, “I know but if there’s even a _chance_ I…” She trailed off, expression wistful.

Steven sighed.

“I know. I understand.” He assured her soothingly. Because he really did. He tucked an errant wave behind her ear, brown eyes searching her face for a way to make her also understand him, “Of course I'm going to support you either way. I just worry is all. What if something bad happens? You could lose your free will to a warlord.”

She smiled, melting for a moment before she pulled herself together. She cleared her throat with a scoff, “That’s why I want you to come! You would never let that happen.”

Steven grinned, eyes twinkling at how much faith she had in him, “Oh _really_?”

The librarian flushed, confidence dissolving, “I… Well… Did you not want to help…?”

“I _always_ want to help.” He corrected her, “I also want you safe. So if you’re going to do this… Of course I’ll be there.” He murmured, sulking a bit at the notion that she’d think he _wouldn’t_.

She smiled, blindingly bright, and it made Steven’s breath catch, “Thanks.”

“Yeah… No problem.” He mumbled, blush rising in his face at the way she was looking at him. She pressed her lips to the underside of his jaw and his face felt sunburned. She moved to roll out of his grip, intent on bouncing to her feet. Steven tightened his hold, not letting her leave. He sank down, burying his face in her hair.

She laughed but it faded when she felt how tight he was holding her.

“Steven?” She asked hesitantly. Nose close to her neck and in her room he was inundated with her scent, wrapped in it like a blanket cocoon of comfort. Right here, in this moment, she was safe. He was determined to keep her that way.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” His voice was muffled, but full of resolve.

Her face exploded in red, it’s own mini-sun as she stumbled and tripped over her thoughts.

“I’ll always help you, always protect you. I swear.” His voice was clear now, soft and low in its conviction. It was true. He felt it in himself strongly down to his gem that he’d do anything, everything to keep her safe. He’d always had his own knight, but now it was his turn to be one. He protected the Gems, protected Beach City, the Earth… It only made sense he’d protect her too.

“Steven, you don’t have to-”

“I want to.” He cut her off swiftly, only holding her tighter.

“Oh-Okay…” She consented articulately, her stomach flipping. Steven replaced his nose with the soft graze of his mouth at the side of her neck, lingering there. He felt her whole body stiffen and she could feel his smile against her skin. _An interesting reaction._ He tried again, kissing repeatedly at a spot just south of her earlobe that had her breath sharpening.

“ _Steven!_ Lars is still here!” She protested, blushing heavily.

“Lars can wait.” Steven murmured distractedly just behind her ear, kissing there with open lips softly. It lit off a tingle of nerves down her spine, his low voice just outside her field of vision. She felt his fingers splay across her lower back, keeping her pressed to him. Her back bowed slightly, a futile attempt for space and rational thought as she pressed her hands at his shoulders.

“You’re incorrigible.” She breathed, eyes closing as she tried to grip her sanity. He chased after her, a rising trail of kisses marching up the hollow up her throat.

“That’s not a no.” Steven hummed keenly, emerging from beneath her chin, gaze hooded as he stared at her lips. He loved the shape of them, how they always felt perfect slotted against his own full ones.

“Behave yourself.” She scolded him, a bit breathless and equally entranced. How was Steven always able to do this? He turned her logical brain to mush.

“Mhm.. Also not a no.” He pointed out dutifully in a low murmur before lightly ghosting his lips over hers with merely a breath of pressure. He could swear she whimpered, eyes closed, chin raised. She was always so responsive, it was truly rewarding. Had Lars not interrupted them earlier he could have been well on his way to exploring her further. He was tempted to continue as it was, but a time crunch and an audience was not a constraint he wanted on his first time with her.

“ _Steven!_ ” She blushed with a whine, pointedly, drawing him from his internal debate.

“What? You’re the one making this very difficult. You’re so… So…”

_Delicious. Tempting. Wonderful. Mine._

“Pretty.” Steven settled on with a pretend huff, closing his eyes.

"Uh-huh." Her laughter was quiet, grin unstoppable, “But we can’t stay in here forever. Lars is waiting for an answer.”

Steven sighed and reluctantly released her, “I know, I know. So what’s it going to be? Are we doing this?”

She rolled off the mattress and out of reach, looking disheveled and heart hammering in her chest. Steven felt smug, pleased with how shaken she seemed from his attentions.

At his question her lips curled into a smile, eyes sparkling with a hint of the galaxy in them.

“Steven. Come on. _It’s a space heist!_ Of course we’re doing this.”

* * *

Lars’ spaceship was named the _Manifest Destiny_.

This earned a snort from the librarian about how Manifest Destiny was, putting it lightly, _sort of shitty for the natives_ and did not deserve a sweet spaceship named after it. Lars agreed but to his great regret, the ship could not be re-named. It was on the title papers. And besides, he wanted to reclaim it. Manifest a destiny of his own making and all that.

So, for the next two days or so, Steven, Lars, and the librarian along with the Off Colors were making their way on the _Manifest Destiny_ across deep space to the Beta Quadrant.

It would have been closer to one day, but Lars’ warp core was, as he mentioned in her living room, _not in good shape_. Fluorite had been tinkering with it relentlessly and assured them it would be enough for them to get by with.

Part of that was the result of the librarian introducing Fluorite to Duct Tape. The amalgam of Gems had declared it Earth’s greatest invention.

Padparadscha had disagreed, citing fire.

Lars had also disagreed, citing the McGriddle.

_The syrup is baked into the bun!_

The two days of travel did have benefits. It gave ample time for training.

His promise to always protect her to the librarian cemented, Steven had thrown himself into combat training with renewed vigor, terrifying Rhodonite. The Rutile Twins however, had never backed down from a challenge. They still debated each other on if this was a good idea, hesitant at the idea of hitting a Diamond at first.

Nevertheless they settled into an easy flow and Steven was grateful for the outlet. Lars, it seemed, was hellbent on driving him insane. At least when it came to the librarian.

Lars had given up his quarters for her to sleep in, citing he didn’t sleep much anymore since he'd gone pink. He slept a few hours a week at most, leaving his bed up for grabs. Steven, being a gentleman, insisted he'd take the floor. Lars had smiled that shit-eating grin of his at her. 

_More than happy to share my bed with you, princess._

Steven had shattered the coffee mug he’d been holding at the time with the force of his grip.

Then there was the matter of _the looks_. He _hated_ the way Lars looked at her. Steven knew it well, he often looked at her the same way. But Lars had no business, no right. He felt his power surge and the shield he used to block the Rutile Twins burned brighter.

As if summoned, Lars appeared, passing Steven and the Rutiles on the observation deck through his way to the galley. He tried to seem disinterested but open combat always had drawn him, ever since his teen days with Beach City wrestling.

Steven was sweating, blocking a flurry of strikes from the Rutile Twins as they landed on his forearms. He was also shirtless, which Lars’ deemed extra and unnecessary. When had Steven bulked up? He’d seen the librarian peeking in earlier so he knew he wasn’t the only one noticing.

Lars loitered in the doorway of observation, watching as Steven pulled back, narrowly avoiding a left hook to the jaw. He blocked another hit on his forearm in a streak of pink light, twisting tight to the right and letting the Rutile Twins momentum send them stumbling past him.

“For defensive powers you’re sure slow on the block.” Lars commented, arms stretched behind his head. Steven’s head jerked up a bit, making eye contact with the captain.

“Captain Lars?” The Rutile Twins asked, “Do you wish to fight?”

“I’ll take a go at it. How 'bout it, Steven? Ready to lose?” Lars asked, raising a brow. He unclasped his cape and slid into the proverbial ring. He rolled up his sleeves, cuffing them. Inwardly, he was wondering if he was insane. Not that he didn't have a few tricks, but Steven was _a Diamond_ and could _definitely_ wreck him. But he’d seen the furious glares the younger Universe had been sending him lately and he felt like knocking him down a peg.

“Since when do you fight?” Steven asked, brow raised as the two circled each other.

“I may have picked up a trick or two. Space ain’t exactly as friendly as Beach City.” Lars pointed out. Steven lunged, Lars swung back out of the way.

“Besides, what’s a little tussle between friends?” Lars questioned with an edge of dark menace, suddenly moving with a burst of speed. Steven’s eyes widened and he sped up to match pace, the two exchanging a series of rapid blows. Despite his slight build, Lars threw a right hook that caused Steven to slide back on his feet.

“You’re fast like me.” Steven’s eyes lit up and Lars smirked.

“Speed’s not all you gave me.” He twisted into a kick, knocking Steven back before letting out a yell. It was a concussive scream, the force of which created pink rings of power that Steven avoided with a full bubble. It cracked the floor and Steven hesitated.

“Why are you doing this?” Steven asked him, barrier dissipating. The two resumed circling each other, feeling out the defenses of the other.

“Maybe I just felt like blowing off some steam.” Lars swung first, a heavy fist straight down that Steven neatly dodged. He could feel the surprising power from the swing.

“That’s not what I meant. I meant the heist, breaking in to her house.” Steven asked, fringes of resentful anger beginning to show.

Lars stated the librarian's name as a question, grin sly, “What? Is it a _crime_ to want the attention of a pretty woman?”

It was like he’d flipped a light switch. Righteous fury erupted in Steven’s gaze, all pink light and Diamond pupils. The punch he threw connected. Pain exploded across Lars’ face but he felt like he was the victorious one. Steven had always been so carefree, never riled by _anything_. It seemed he had a trigger now days. Lars sailed backwards, managing to regain his footing and skid to a halt several feet back. He wiped the blood from his bottom lip with his thumb, flicking it away.

Steven huffed, gaze scathing, “You don’t care about her.”

“What’s the matter? Afraid of a little competition?” Lars insisted, unable to resist like he had some twisted death wish. He straightened, smirk ever present despite the blow he took, “Besides, who says I need to care about her to get her naked?”

Whatever restraint Steven was holding snapped.

He lunged, moving in a blur of magenta. He had Lars by the shirt collar. 

Someone with all their mortality and their sanity would have shook in fear. Lars however, was only slightly mortal these days and had never been good at knowing when to throw in the towel.

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare even try! _Leave her alone, Lars!_ ” Steven threatened, fully pink. Panic and rage flowed through him, at thinking of her in Lars' arms. Of Lars touching and kissing her. His eyes burned so pink they teetered on white, the heat from his glow blinding. The idea almost made him sick. She was his. _His, his, his, his!_ He was almost completely lost to Pink Diamond now.

Lars’ gaze narrowed, full of contempt, “Or what?”

There was frantic footsteps and a shout of protest behind them.

“Stop! Oh my _god,_ stop it, both of you!” The librarian stood in the doorway, huffing.

Lars and Steven both stared at her. She was bent over, gasping for breath, arms around her stomach.

“Stars, I hate you both _so much_ right now. I had to run… so far…” She was wearing a white apron, her hair flopped over her shoulder.

She’d hauled it from the galley, the complete opposite side of the ship at the incoming news from the Rutile Twins like some doomsday Paul Revere. _The boys are fighting! The boys are fighting!_

“What are you doing here?” Steven asked her, his color returning to normal. He eased Lars lower, allowing his feet to touch ground. Steven hoped with everything in him that she hadn’t heard what they’d been fighting about.

“The Rutile Twins… Came and got me.” She huffed, getting her breath back. “They said you were trying to kill each other.”

Neither guy wanted to admit they had forgotten the Rutile Twins had even been there.

Steven looked chagrined, but Lars quickly interjected, brushing imaginary dust off his own shoulders, “Pff. No? It’s fine. We’re fine. Steven wanted to practice some of his Diamond abilities on me. We share some. Isn’t that right, Steven?”

“R-Right…” Steven confirmed shakily, surprise apparent. She squinted at both of them.

The librarian exhaled heavily, knowing from Steven’s expression it was a bald faced lie but too exhausted from her run to argue it, “Just… Stop trying to kill each other. I’ll be in the galley getting a jump start on dinner.”

She disappeared from the doorway. Both men relaxed, resuming glaring at each other.

She popped her head back around the corner and both of them broke apart their glaring guiltily. Her eyes narrowed, “Lars, you promised to show me how to make that purple ube roll so easy on the hands. And Steven Quartz Cutie Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe, _so help me_ if you murder Lars before I get to try ube I won’t kiss you for a week.”

Steven stiffened and Lars’ glee was obvious.

“Oof. Full name. You are _screwed_.” Lars sing-songed under his breath and Steven elbowed him.

“I would have used yours too had I known it, _Captain_.” The librarian glared at him.

Steven sent him a devious grin, “Oh, I know it! It’s Laram-“

Lars cut him off, slapping a hand over Steven’s mouth, muffling the rest, “ _Steven_ , you little narc-”

The librarian laughed, unable to hold it in any longer at seeing the two men bickering like children. She shook her head and disappeared. They needed to work this out on their own, without her babysitting. 

Both men sagged, Lars releasing Steven. Lars however, continued staring at the doorway, smirk toying.

“She’s entirely too hot for you, man. You know that, right?”

“Then she’s _definitely_ too hot for you.” Steven countered with a smirk. Lars let out a scoff of laughter, rubbing his brow.

“Are we gonna talk about what the hell just happened?” Lars asked Steven, brow arching.

“I’d rather not.” Steven insisted, cheeks a regular level of pink.

Lars rolled his eyes, groaning as he made up his mind. Ugh, he hated being the older person. Responsibility sucked. He swallowed the urge to pick at Steven further and sighed dejectedly.

Steven blanched as Lars slung an arm around his neck and led him out of observation and marched him down the hall, “Lars! Where are we going?”

“I need a drink.” Lars tapped at a keypad in front of a door and drug the hybrid inside.

The two entered what looked like a mash between an office and a bedroom. There was a desk with a chair, a small seating area, and towards the back a large bed with black sheets, “Refreshers in the back.”

Still reeling, Lars shoved Steven towards the back room, “Go clean yourself up. Do us all a favor and put a shirt on while you’re at it.” Lars grumbled, tossing a fist full of loose black clothing at him.

Steven drug it off his face with a noise of protest and scowled, Lars shooing him with his hand.

Lars busied himself with the bar cart, rubbing at his sore jaw occasionally. He dug around in the depths of the cabinet and pulled out the Big Guns. He’d been saving the bottle for something special but he supposed repairing his friendship with the youngest member of the Diamond Authority would be quite an occasion.

Steven exited the makeshift bathroom a moment later, clean and in the clothes Lars provided. He awkwardly made his way into one of the chairs in his seating area. Lars didn’t even look back, tinkering with glassware, “You are old enough to drink now, aren’t you?”

Steven only glowered at him, swiping the drink from Lars’ hand with a scowl.

Lars smirked, “Pace your sips. That’s Corelian mead.”

Steven had no idea what that meant but nodded all the same.

“I don’t drink that often. Tastes bad and anyways… it’s hard for me to get drunk.” Steven admitted. It had to be something to do with being half organic and half Gem but alcohol never seemed to effect him the way it did other humans. He took a sip from the glass reluctantly. Surprisingly it was good, lightly sweet and very smooth. _Huh_.

“It’s next to impossible for me too. Which for the record, _sucks_. I blame you for that.”

“People blame me for a lot of things.” Steven pointed out dourly.

“Yeah well, making it hard for me to get wasted is by far your most heinous offense.” Lars grumbled, pouring himself a glass and taking a long sip. “It’s damned expensive.”

“Why do you care so much about money these days?” Steven asked curiously. Lars pressed the iced glass against his jaw, letting out a sigh at the cold contact. It still ached from where Steven decked him.

Steven looked mildly guilty at Lars nursing the injury, “I could heal-”

“Keep your lips away from me, Universe. There is not enough booze in this galaxy.” Lars cut him off sharply.

Steven rolled his eyes and swapped glasses with Lars, “Drama queen.”

Lars scowled and took a sip off Steven’s glass, the indirect saliva setting to work. In two sips the soreness in his jaw disappeared and in three it healed a muscle ache in his back he’d had for weeks. _Huh_.

Steven looked smug, which Lars resented, since the injury was Steven’s fault to begin with. But it was a start. So Lars swallowed his pride and the rest of his glass and told him the truth, “I’m doing this because I really do need the money, Steven. We can’t all be Diamond trust fund kids.”

“If it was about the money you could have just asked me-”

Lars snorted, scoffing at this, “Stars… We fight every time we speak anymore. I’m not about to do that _then_ turn around and ask you for a boatload of change. I don’t want your charity. Let a guy have his pride and his own schemes.”

Steven thought on this for a moment and nodded. He had felt as much about writing his own songs, about trying to find his own path. He understood where Lars was coming from.

“So what’s the money for?” Steven asked, sinking back into the plush leather chair.

Lars was on his feet again, not making eye contact. He busied himself, tinkering with another refill and admitted,“There’s… Well… I met somebody.”

“Oh _really_?” Steven asked over the edge of his glass, eyes glittering.

“Ugh! Not like that. Don’t start.” Lars grumbled, flopping down in his own seat across from Steven and sticking his feet up on the table between them.

“So this somebody…” Steven paused for a moment, “Have a name?”

“Erina Ottenmeir.” Lars muttered into the rim of his glass, taking a sip. His cheeks flushed a darker magenta. He watched the gears in Steven’s brain turn, the name starting to dawn.

“The chancellor’s daughter from Beta Nine?” Steven’s brows rose high. He’d heard the name before from his diplomatic Diamond sessions. And again from Yellow Diamond, when she had called him about complaining about her gamma sunbathing back on his first date with the librarian.

“Chancellor’s daughter….” Lars parroted bitterly, “You diplomats, I swear… She’s the most brilliant mind the Metals resistance group has to offer and she’s still some politician’s kid to you. Figures.”

Steven ignored the jibe, asking instead,“Why would you need money for her? Isn’t her father loaded?”

“Yes! But Erina can’t just.… She needs funds, _untraceable_ funds.” Lars insisted, fingers rubbing in frustration at the edge of his hairline and his forehead.

“The auction.” Steven finished. Lars nodded curtly.

“I’ve got a bunch of ghost accounts set up, encryption, the works. I’ll give her the money and then she’ll… she’ll take it back.” Lars smirked, expression looking positively smug.

“Take what back?” Steven asked carefully.

“ _She said_ ,” Lars confided with dramatic preamble, “That I’m a jaded two-bit con artist grifter with no sense of responsibility.”

Steven snorted into his glass, drink bubbling and Lars glared at him. He choked a bit but regained his poker face.

Lars continued on, “So I figured if I could solve her little money problem… That’d be pretty responsible of me. She’d have to take it back then and take me seriously.”

“Why do you care so much about what she called you?” Steven asked.

Lars stiffened. He’d been asking himself the same question for weeks.

But rather than admit _that_ aloud he narrowed his eyes at Steven and said, “I don’t know. Why do _you_ keep hulking out over your librarian?”

Steven’s cheeks burned red at this and he avoided Lars’ gaze, “I don’t know.”

“You do.” Lars disagreed, sipping slowly before he sighed, “You know… I have no chance in hell of getting with that, right?”

Steven tensed, trying to keep his expression calm as Lars barreled ahead, “Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to _try_ but seeing the way she looks at you… She wouldn’t even give me the time of day. I’ve got eyes. And she’s super in to you, man.”

Steven looked stunned, expression wondrous, “Then why-”

Lars rolled his eyes at this, “Because I like winding you up. _That’s why._ It’s fucking hilarious.”

“ _Lars!_ ”

“ _Steven!_ ” Lars mimicked right back.

Steven’s face split into a grin and Lars snickered. He popped up and grabbed the decanter, refilling Steven’s glass. Steven took the break to try and explain it further to Lars without the pressure of being looked at.

“I don’t know anymore why I… Keep feeling this way. She’s a Light Prism and I’m a Diamond and that’s part of it. But I also…”

_I think I might be falling in love with her and I'm terrified._

“I just really, really like her, Lars.” Steven breathed hopelessly instead.

Lars’ expression softened, guilt twining within slightly. He'd been using her as a pawn to mess with Steven. It was clear as day to him that the hybrid was head over heels for her.

Ugh, drinking always made him a sap.

“Garnet’s convinced the more she comes into her powers the more I’ll have trouble controlling how I…” He trailed off, cheeks permanently pink now, “What I’m trying to say is… I’m sorry. She just drives me crazy.”

“Hn.” Lars debated this for a moment, refilling his own glass. It seems he and Steven had more in common than he thought these days.

“Well then. To the women that drive us crazy.” He leaned in and raised his glass to Steven’s with a clink.

* * *

Steven Universe was drunk. He didn’t want to admit it, but from the dwindling Corelian mead decanter and the way the dark room seemed to move with no sense of equilibrium all signs pointed to him being _absolutely smashed_.

His first panicked thought was _Pearl must never find out._

He was grown but he still didn’t want one of his moms to know he was wasted.

Oh god, did he really think Pearl was one of his moms? The thought brought on a fresh wave of emotions which he shoved away to deal with when he wasn’t nauseous. The librarian had called Pearl and the Gems his space moms when they first met. He smiled dreamily to himself.

Stars, she was amazing. Where was she?

He needed to lay down. He was already laying down under a blanket flat on the floor of Lars’ room. But that was for peasants. He needed Better Laying Down. Steven moved the crook of his elbow off his eyes with incredible difficulty and raised his head, squinting to get his bearings.

It was dark in the room. He remembered there had been several hours of he and Lars drinking and catching up on the times, old and new. Lars was passed out across one of his leather chairs, drooling against the back cushion under a blanket. That seemed dumb to Steven. There was a perfectly good bed in the back of the room.

It took a few attempts but Steven made it to his feet.

Steven trudged up the stairs of the raised platform, only wavering and stumbling at most once or twice. If the room would just _quit spinning_ he would have made it _just fine_. He crashed into the sheets using his face to land.

From his right he felt rustling, the bed clearly already inhabited.

He panicked for a moment and then-

“Steven?” The familiar drowsy voice asked, “What is it? Something wrong?”

His heart clenched, realizing it was the librarian. He’d forgotten Lars had gave up his bed for her. She must have snuck in while they were passed out, letting them sleep where they had fallen. She was probably the reason for the blankets. His smile was sappy at that.

With great effort, he inched and scooted himself until he settled in closer to her, head on her stomach on top of the covers. His voice came muffled from her torso, “Room’s spinnin’.”

She chuckled lowly, reaching down to tangle her fingers in his hair. She rubbed his curls for a few moments, nails scratching at his scalp in slow, prolonged motions. He let out a muffled moan of pleasure, the sound high in his nose at the gesture.

“Sorry… Woke you. Too much t’drink.” He managed to say, full sentences hard. Stars, her touching him felt wonderful. Why did he ever think not touching her was a good idea? That was the worst. This was the best.

“S’okay.” She replied in the dark,”You guys needed to talk. I’m glad you and Lars made up.”

“Mhm…” Steven hummed in agreement, in bliss at the steady feel of her fingers in his hair. It was a soothing, reassuring feeling, having her thumbs rubbing circles at his scalp, fingers twisting an errant curl occasionally. He would give her anything and everything if she did this more often.

“He’s going to be mad if you sleep here though.” She continued.

“Sucks for him. M’not movin’.” Steven muttered childishly and he felt her quiet laughter shake beneath him with a smile. Even though his arms felt like lead he pulled them closer, locking at her sides. Her scratching slowed, pushing his floppy curls back fondly from his forehead.

“Okay, I won’t kick you out. But I am going to sleep.” She warned him. Steven only sighed, face nuzzling at her stomach. She was so soft, smelled so wonderful.

“Me too.” He whined. She laughed again, sound husky and low. She gave his head a final pat before her hand dropped.

“Night, Steven.”

“G’night…” He murmured. It hadn’t taken long, since he had woken her from sleep as it was, before he felt her breathing drop low. She dipped off into slumber.

He laid there in the dark, head swimming from the alcohol and being snuggled so close to her.

He closed his eyes, feeling as if he was adrift within a bobbing sea with her reassuring presence as his life raft. Come to think of it, he was starting to feel that way when he was sober too.

His thoughts danced and spun, thinking of her, thinking of the Gems, his Dad… His smile melted as he clenched his hold tighter in a squeeze for a moment, sighing deeply.

He tried The Words, testing them in that silent room in the dark. He mouthed them with no audio, trying them out for how they would feel if he said them aloud, _“I think I love you.”_

Fear and exhilaration clenched in his chest but he could not stop his smile as he buried his face against her gently.

He knew he was on the right track when his gem began a faint rosy glow in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently the alternative title to my fic is People Sit Around Talking About Feelings Over Various Drinks. Not even mad about it. But if you are mad about it, I swear to you action is coming. Like, so much of it. Both kinds of action. You may need an adult. 
> 
> This chapter was a schedule nightmare to write by the way. I had a rough draft that I was unsatisfied with that was missing 60% of the scenes and dialogue you see now. AKA I wrote a bunch of new shit frantically over the course of 2 weeks. And it became long AF. 
> 
> Further Notes: Rebecca Sugar mentioned in some interviews that Lars' abilities are a mirror of Lion's and he can do ze swirly screams. I gave him enhanced strength and speed as like, a bonus. Danny Sea refers to Ocean's Eleven. The USA McGriddle, for anyone overseas/unfamiliar, is a (delicious) breakfast sandwich abomination from McDonalds with pancakes for the buns. Corelian mead is Star Wars, if you squint. Til next time, xoxo


	12. Lars of the Stars, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey remember when this story was a giant excuse to simp? Let's get back to that. 
> 
> Some chapter warnings include NSFW, light bondage, and some Dom/sub hints. If that's not your thing, sorry bout it. If it is your thing... Sup homie, let's get to it.

The next morning, the librarian stood in front of the stove, apron on and spatula in hand. She surveyed the expanse of the griddle before her like a warden, keeping an eye on the puddles of batter as the caramelized scent of banana wafted under her nose. She took a sip out of her coffee mug, the steam warming her face.

Despite the mostly Gem crew, she’d been surprised to find Lars’ ship still housed some human comforts. Lars rarely ate or slept but the _Manifest Destiny_ had a decent kitchen and his mattress was fairly comfortable. Although part of the bed coziness could be contributed to Steven.

That made two nights now in a row they’d slept together.

She flushed, her heated face nothing to do with the stove or the coffee.

“I’m never drinking Corelian booze again.” Lars moaned, traipsing into the galley slumped in defeat. He looked haggard, all dark eye circles and death, and the librarian hummed sympathetically.

“Coffee’s in the pot. Pancakes should be ready in five.” She called over her shoulder. With a swift spatula shove and a flip, she tossed the pancakes over to toast on the opposite side. She was satisfied to see the tops were golden brown. One looked a bit pale and she marked it in her mind as hers.

Lars poured himself a cup of coffee and moaned after his first sip, “Marry me.”

The librarian laughed and made a face, nose wrinkling.

“Tempting offer since your spaceship _is_ pretty sweet, but I’ll pass. Breakfast is the least I could do since you spent last night sleeping in a chair.” The librarian shrugged, leaning up against the cabinet next to the stove. Lars grimaced, not disagreeing. He held his neck and wished he could iron the crick out.

“For the record, my space ship is _also_ pretty sweet.” Steven Universe stated confidently by way of greeting, strolling in to the galley bright eyed and practically floating. He sailed his way over to the coffee pot, humming _For Just One Day Let’s Only Think About Love_ under his breath while pouring himself a cup.

“Ah but mine’s _bigger_!” Lars called over his coffee mug, cat that ate the canary grin growing.

Steven scoffed and the librarian whacked Lars with her greasy spatula, “Innuendo police!”

“Ow! This is my kitchen, woman!” Two more smacks, “Ow, _ow_! Okay!”

Lars sulked. Steven only laughed, radiant and unflappable, disposition upbeat like he hadn’t just crushed half a decanter of expensive booze with Lars the night before.

Lars decided in comparison to his own hangover it was criminal.

He squinted at Steven like he was staring directly at the sun itself, “How are you so chipper? I feel like death.”

“Healing powers.” Steven chirped breezily, as if that explained everything. He’d been surprised Corelian mead had even gotten him drunk as it was. He’d slept it off and woke up to the sheets empty but smelling like _her_.

From under his gloomy hangover cloud Lars squinted at the hybrid, “I hate you so much.”

“Ahw, no you don’t.” Steven grinned cheerily, patting Lars on the shoulder. He took a sip off of his coffee before swapping his mug with Lars’. The move came with more humming and a fair amount of flourish.

Lars turned his glare accusingly towards the librarian, “Alright. What did you do to him? If you two did stuff in my bed so help me-”

Steven blushed red furiously and the librarian choked on her coffee, sputtering.

“What? No! How is this my fault? Come on, Lars! He’s a morning person.” The librarian protested, looking at Steven with a dismayed squint of her own, “Which I _will_ break him of somehow.”

She was most definitely not a morning person.

“It is sort of your fault though.” Steven murmured low under his breath so only she could hear, kissing her on the cheek. The librarian flushed rosy at his words.

“Ugh, gross…” Lars sighed in faux outrage, watching them.

He’d never seen the _Manifest Destiny_ be so domestic.

“What’s that smell?” Steven asked her, taking the barstool next to Lars. Black smoke drifted.

The librarian’s eyes widened, “Shit, shit, shit!”

She scurried back to the stove, working in overdrive to determine which pancakes were burned and which were salvageable.

“The pancakes are burning.” Paradparacha decreed, entering the galley with the rest of the Off Colors in tow. They settled in around the high countertop, none of them partakers of human food, but always fascinated with the ritual anyway.

“Yes, thank you Para.” The librarian stated swiftly, quickly scraping the griddle clean of two burned failures and reloaded the surface with fresh swirls of batter. The rest seemed okay.

“How’s the engine looking, Fluor?” Lars asked over his coffee mug. It had taken a grand total of one sip from Steven’s old mug for him to feel completely rejuvenated and hangover free.

“It should…hold out… for now.” Fluorite determined with careful plodding tones. The Gem fusion remained in the doorway, the galley too small to fit her along with the crowd.

“How long til we reach the Beta Quadrant?” Steven asked her curiously.

“This evening….at latest.” Fluorite informed him.

The librarian joined them, offloading pancakes that were suitable for human consumption to Steven and Lars. She took the burned ones with resigned disappointment.

She turned back to the stove and Steven swapped his plate with hers deftly. He knew she preferred the underdone ones and he’d never minded burnt food after experiencing Amethyst’s idea of cooking growing up.

“That’s soon. Does this mean you’ll share with us your mighty plan, Danny Sea?” The librarian asked, brow quirking.

She came back to the counter, plate full of extra pancakes. She glanced down at her own now-perfect serving, shooting an accusing look at Steven. He only smiled at her innocently, cheeks resembling a gluttonous squirrel’s, half way through his new plate of burnt ones.

“I will ignore that quip because these are god tier pancakes.” Lars praised, eyes watering in happiness. They were a lovely sponge consistency, perfectly round and smooth. The sweetness of the banana was amplified by the caramelizing effect of the heat to the sugar.

“Oh god, so good. They’re so fluffy.” Steven practically moaned around his own forkful. Even burnt, her pancakes were incredible. Her cheeks tinged red and Steven smiled, loving to watch her fluster at compliments. She never knew what to do with her hands during them and they flailed and twisted for a moment, fiddling with her hair.

“Humans are incredible. This taste concept… Gaining nutrition by smelling with your mouths is odd.” The Rutile Twins observed, half looking fascinated and the other repulsed as they watched the librarian eat her own plate worth.

“Don’t knock it til you try it.” The librarian talked through her mouthful, earning further fascinated disgust from the Off Colors. “If you don’t eat, how’re you know… alive?”

“We’re sustained through light. Although there’s many kinds, ultraviolet, beta, gamma… All are delicious.” Pardparacha explained, an almost wistful expression on her face. The librarian recognized it as the same she made reminiscing about raspberry donuts.

“I’ll take your word for it.” She laughed.

“Their loss right now though.” Lars confirmed, pushing his own clean plate back with a groan. He had definitely ate too much. The librarian hummed around her own forkful. “Seriously, I want that recipe. Tit for tat for the ube,” Lars clarified and she grinned.

“I’d settle just for hearing some of your elusive recipe for success with the heist. Let’s hear it. You’ve been so secretive it’s killing me.” The librarian pressed. Lars flushed.

“Don’t worry about it, Betty Crocker. I have a plan and that’s all you need to know. It’ll make it more believable if you don’t know what’s happening. Especially since Steven says you’re a terrible liar.” Lars pointed out.

The librarian blushed angrily and sent an evil eye in Steven’s direction.

“What? You are!” Steven whined innocently, “How is that a bad thing?”

“There is something you should know, however…. Part of the plan calls for you to be able to demonstrate your abilities. At least once. That gonna be a problem?” Lars asked her, brow high.

The librarian tensed, shoulders high and tight at this.

“Pffft. No! Why would it be a problem? I’m… capable. Totally capable. Absolutely will not let you down in any way on power summoning. Which is totally a thing I can do.” She protested rapidly, eyes wide and fork pushing around her near empty syrupy plate.

“Uh-huh. Wow, Steven, you weren’t kidding. She’s really bad at lying.”

Steven stifled his laughter and her sour expression grew even more bitter.

“Oi! I’m not lying! I summoned a halberd once! I can do it again.” She tried to make it sound threatening but instead Lars only arched an eyebrow. The librarian sulked but held out under his inquiring gaze.

And, because she felt like further tempting fate, she uttered what could be known as infamous last words: “How hard can it be to do it again anyways?”

* * *

As it turned out, summoning a weapon was in fact, _very hard_.

She’d started out trying to meditate.

She ran through every emotion she could think of.

When that didn’t work she tried not thinking or feeling anything at all. That lasted for about ten seconds when she’d think of something again and it’d negate all her work. Thinking of nothing always took conscious effort but then she was _thinking about_ thinking about nothing and-

She gave up on that line of attempt. With no luck at tapping in to her power, Rhodonite had reverted to more drastic measures and broke in to the armory. The new strategy involved throwing every weapon imaginable at her in hopes she’d summon her powers out of self-preservation.

After repeated failed attempts, Rhodonite became increasingly more freaked out about how _this plan was destined to fail and everyone was going to end up shattered_.

Frustrated, singed, and disheartened, the librarian bailed and went to find Steven.

* * *

Steven Universe sat cross legged on the floor of the observation deck. It was a pillared hall, with giant glass windows revealing only the inky blackness of space. Steven forced himself to keep his eyes shut, to breathe deep through his nose, palms face up on the top of his thighs. He tried to meditate, to catch all the errant butterflies of his thoughts in a giant net like Garnet had taught him, but they eluded him.

He was preoccupied, still ruminating hard on something he had remembered Lars telling him somewhere between their fourth or fifth round of Corelian mead.

_I’ll give you the coordinates. But… Don’t take her there. She thinks she wants to see where Light Prisms come from but… You don’t want her seeing this. Trust me on this, man._

As if summoned, he could hear the familiar gait of her footsteps at his back. The librarian collapsed across the ground in front of him, looking exhausted. He cracked one eye open to stare down at her as she let out a sustained groan.

“I don’t suppose you could float me up to hide in the rafters?” She inquired by way of greeting, face first on the ground, “Or perhaps just eject me into space.”

“Why?” He asked curiously, opening both his eyes.

“Rhondonite is terrifying.” The librarian stated firmly by way of explanation, turning her head to look at him.

Steven laughed but it faded at her defeated expression, “Wait, you're serious? I’ve only seen her be anxious about, well… _everything_.”

“Consider yourself lucky. Training with her is like Pearl but with more OCD.” She grumbled.

“Is it helping?” Steven asked, brow lifting.

“Of course it’s helping, the OCD means she’s very thorough. But it’s still scary.” She sulked. “On the bright side I can now dodge _twenty seven_ different weapon types! Eh? Progress, am I right?” She stated proudly. Steven only frowned, dark eyebrows pointed downwards.

“You were supposed to just be trying to summon your power through meditation.” His tone sounded accusatorially. Upon closer critical inspection it looked like part of her hair was singed.

“Yes but… Sitting like a pretzel isn’t going to help me _not die_.”

“Of course it isn’t. That's what I’m for.” Steven stated matter-of-factly, looking so very stern about it. She felt something warm in her chest at the declaration and she went a bit gooey.

She grinned at him, propping her chin up on the heel of her hand to look at her self-declared protector. Her feet popped up, kicking in the air as she lazed on her stomach. Steven was momentarily distracted by her high waisted burgundy athletic shorts and how they hugged the bottom curve of her butt.

His eyes jumped back up guiltily when she cleared her throat, “Which brings me to why I’m here.”

The way she was looking at him instantly made Steven very suspicious.

“You mean it _wasn’t_ just to play hooky with your boyfriend and hide from your instructor?” He asked dryly, eyes dancing with mirth. She met his gaze, amusement clear.

“Course not. If it was hooky we’d be making out right now.” She chided, eyes raking over him.

He really did look delicious in a jock sort of way at the moment. His training attire consisted of a sleeveless tank top, revealing those biceps she loved so much, and drawstring sweatpants. The red and blue striped sweatband in his wooly curls finished the look.

“Is that still on the table or…?” He trailed curiously, cheeks heating as he registered she was checking him out. The signature Universe charm was in full swing and she struggled valiantly to remember why she _did_ come here again in the face of his growing sly grin.

“Not at the moment,” She blushed deeply and jerked her head to stare in the opposite direction. He was way too handsome and she needed to focus.

“I came here to get your help!”

“With what?” He asked, mirth ebbing into open curiosity.

“My powers. Rhodonite and I really did try and I… Well I can’t… use them.” She sighed, tone dejected. The librarians blush deepened in embarrassment and shame as she dutifully avoided his gaze.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with me? Or I’m doing it wrong? How do _you...._ You know?” She made explosion noises out the side of her mouth, fingers bursting wide into jazz hands.

Steven bit back a laugh, gaze softening. He remembered what it felt like to struggle with powers that came with no manual.

“Well you’re not exactly a Gem so it’s probably different for you. My powers are based on my emotions. I usually just think about wanting to protect the people I-“ _Love_. He faltered, coughing for a moment, “Um… Care about. Happy thoughts, that sort of thing.”

If she had noticed his stumble she gave no indication, absorbed in her own thoughts. Her nose scrunched, “Please tell me there’s more to it than Just Think Happy Thoughts.”

Steven shrugged, “Yes. But also no? Every one of the Gems has their own way. Pearl’s is something about tree dancing, for Amethyst it just happens, and Garnet links her mind with like… all of the universe. You’ll find your own funky flow. It just takes time.”

“Funky… flow, huh?” She asked, wryly amused.

“Yeah!” He laughed, hands wavering like waves at her for a moment, “In the beginning, I thought the key to my powers was Cookie Cat ice cream sandwiches. It worked since they made me happy. My first fight I got _so_ sick. I must have ate like six in a row.”

The story made her laugh and she grinned, rolling to sit up excitedly, “Oh man! I haven’t seen those in years! What ever happened to those things?”

“Discontinued. It’s a tragedy.” Steven sighed morosely.

“They had the catchiest marketing.” She agreed with a sigh. She launched into a “ _Ohhhhh_ …” and Steven’s eyes lit up, stars shining at the familiar lead up.

Surely it couldn’t be…

> _“He's a frozen treat with an all new taste.”_

The librarian began and her expression grew surprised but joyous when Steven joined in with her excitedly, practically bouncing to his feet. He dragged her with him.

> _“'Cause he came to this planet from outer space!_   
>  _A refugee of an interstellar war,_   
>  _But now he's at your local grocery store!”_

Steven pumped both his fists and she pointed at him with a little shimmy,

> _“Cookie Cat!_   
>  _He's a pet for your tummy_   
>  _Cookie Cat!_   
>  _He's super duper yummy_   
>  _Cookie Cat!”_
> 
> _“He left his family behind!”_

The librarian threw the back of her hand to her forehead and dipped backward in a faux swoon. Steven caught her as they wailed dramatically simultaneously.

> _“Cookie Caaaaat!”_

They both fist pumped now, the librarian upright now and triumphant.

The librarian paused and Steven hurriedly added, “Now available at Gurgens off Route 109.”

They dissolved into laughter and through her giggles the librarian asked, “What the heck is a Gurgens? Try Speedsters off Route 74.”

Steven guffawed, “Empire City doesn’t have Gurgens? I thought you were cultured, city girl.”

“Clearly I am a high brow lady who prefers Speedster’s convenience of forty-nine cent Big Thirst sodas. What the heck does _Gurgens_ bring to the table?” She countered with thick sarcasm and an air of elitism that caused Steven to giggle.

“Couldn’t tell you. Haven’t been for ages since they discontinued Cookie Cats. Seriously though, I can’t believe you remembered the whole song!” He grinned at her, eyes like stars.

Her shoulders rose in a defensive huff, “It’s catchy! I’m pretty sure my brain has overwritten a ton of important stuff with useless trivia and song lyrics. Like my power summoning was probably replaced with all of _Haven't You Noticed_.”

“That song is a total bop though.” Steven pointed out seriously. “Sung it for a talent show once and everything as a kid.”

“Uh I demand video or it didn’t happen.” She teased. He stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed.

It faded.

They’d transitioned to both leaning against the nearest observation hall pillar.

He was silent for a beat before he noticed she was eerily quiet as well.

Steven pushed off from his pillar lean, rounding it to face her directly. Sure enough she looked pensive once more, mirth having faded to deep worry again.

“Hey.” At the sound of Steven’s soft voice her eyes cut upward, turmoil evident, “You’ll figure out your powers. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. It ruins the funky flow.”

She smiled, sadness making it hollow, “Flow is one thing. But this plan…”

“Can be modified.” He finished for her, “You don’t _have_ to do this, you know. We can always find out where you came from another way.” Steven pointed out earnestly.

The librarian swallowed thickly then nodded. She avoided his gaze. She wanted to though. She wanted answers. She had wanted to do this. Now all that was stopping her was her own limitations. It was infuriating and her cheeks heated, “I know I… I’ll keep working on it.”

She rallied some cheer, “What about you? How’s the meditating? You connect with the Force, yet?”

“Still working on it.” Steven stated with a shrug. “But short of that… I’m trying to connect with my Diamond.”

“Why?”

Steven avoided her gaze but blushed a bit, “If you’re going to be summoning your power, I need to be able to handle it.”

“That’s a big ‘if.’” She muttered wryly, “But what’s to handle?”

Steven flushed, his turn to be flustered, “Your power um… Affects me. _You_ affect me. And I’m supposed to be protecting you. I need to be stronger so when you do start summoning it, I won’t… Well um.. I just don’t want another Connie’s party incident.”

He avoided her gaze, not wanting to know what he’d see there if he looked.

“Are you… okay?” The librarian trailed, eyes wide. He plunged ahead, talking rapidly.

“Of course! I’m _fine_. Everything’s fine! Totally fine! You have nothing to be afraid of! I can control Pink Diamond. And I’m practicing meditation. It’s really not a big deal. So don’t worry!”

He was using that forceful bright tone again, a familiar one to her own ears and she sighed.

“Steven, you don’t have to do everything on your own, you know. Wouldn’t it help if I was around to… test those sort of things?” She only asked, head tilting.

“I… Well… You’re busy and…” He stammered bashfully.

Steven felt his cheeks heat. It wasn’t just that he hadn’t wanted to bother her. There was also the fear of what if he couldn't? What if he wasn’t as strong as she seemed to believe he was? She kept telling him to believe in himself but he was afraid.

All it would take would be one mistake and he’d take her free will away. It’d be so easy.

He inhaled sharply and stared at the floor seams, the lines in the tiles, with intent focus.

The librarian watched the shift, the dark clouds in Steven’s mood and face begin to storm. She hated it. She had to make it go away.

“I know! Let’s train together!” She fixed him with a bright smile, her feet bounding into his line of sight.

“Meditate you mean?” He tried hopefully, feeling calm enough to glance up at her.

That was simple. That was safe.

She shook her head, expression sunny.

“Nope! You could practice and teach me how to protect myself.” She’d seen him in the fight with Copper. He knew his way around a shield. If anyone was a master of defense it was Steven.

“I’ve got that covered.” Steven dismissed her, spine rigid and breath tight.

“I know but… What if we get separated or something? Don’t you want me to be able to hold my own?” The librarian insisted, expression eager.

“Yes. But you don’t need training to _run_ and _hide_.” He pointed out. She was smiling at him again, a playful thing that made her eyes glitter.

“Ah, you would think. But I’ve always been terrible at hide and seek along with most sports. Terrible stamina. It’s a liability, really. You should do something about it, honestly. Like _train_ _me_.” Her last two words were pointed, expression resolute. He faltered, cracking a smile despite himself.

Steven shoved a fist to forehead with an exaggerated groan, lamenting, “Has anyone ever told you that you are stubborn and persistent?”

“Once or twice.” She grinned impishly, shrugging, “So what’s the plan, Master?”

 _That_ sent a shiver down his spine for all the wrong reasons.

“I’m not responding to that.” He replied instantly and she laughed, weaving around him with a playful bop of her hip. She twirled to stand in front of him, her gaze teasing and alight with mirth. He eyed her, trying to still the beginning race of his heart as an idea began to crest, “I guess I could try and catch you? We could play Steven tag. You just have to run.”

At the time, it had seemed a better alternative to the dangers of open combat he still wanted to keep her from. In retrospect, he should have insisted on dual meditation the moment he felt his cheeks heat and mouth run dry. Pink Diamond also seemed to stir, interested in any game he could play with her.

“What’s Steven tag?” She asked, brows raising, “And how does it differ from regular tag?”

“Hm. I guess it wouldn’t be Steven tag _exactly_. When I play with the Gems, they shape shift into a copy of me when they’re tagged as a penalty.”

“Well I can’t shapeshift.” She sighed. Her expression turned coy, “But I do love stakes.”

Steven fought back his own growing grin, “This is supposed to be serious. You know, training.”

“Mhmm… Oh yes. For sure.” The librarian agreed solemnly. The corners of her lips twitched.

A beat of a pause, and then, “But when I win, you’re gonna teach me to fly your spaceship.”

Steven’s eyes narrowed, “And when you lose, you’re gonna give me twenty minutes of head scratches every night for a week.”

Both of them were grinning. The librarian thrust her hand out and Steven shook it soundly.

She went to pull her hand back but Steven held fast to it. He gripped her hand, staring her down with a laser focus, “You really want to go through with this? I won’t go easy on you.”

Her cheeks darkened, traitorously, “I should be asking you the same thing.”

Steven let out a dark chuckle, his gaze on her still heavy. She swallowed thickly, trying not to flounder under the intensity of it. He watched her critically, releasing her hand after a moment.

“R-Rules.” She managed to croak, “We need rules. What’s the boundaries?” The librarian asked, trying to tamper down the thrill that flooded her. She had no illusions that the odds were stacked against her. Some creative rules would need to be laid down to account for her gifted tutor.

But the idea of running from Steven, with all his vast abilities and powers, appealed to her in some base way she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“No leaving this room.” He confirmed. She nodded. That was simple enough. The observation deck was huge. They had plenty of room to run and she had plenty of beams to hide behind.

“You’re quite fast. How is this even remotely supposed to be fair?” She pointed out.

Steven basked in the compliment for a moment.

“How about… I have to touch you twice before I can actually catch you?” Steven ventured. Excitement filtered through him again, a ripple. Curiosity pulled at his senses, whispers of desire nagging in his thoughts. What would it feel like to hunt her like prey? What would it be like to catch her up in his arms?

The librarian nodded, trying not to think about what it meant that her heart was pounding already, “Okay, but how do _I_ win?”

“You won’t.” Steven stated confidently, grin lifting.

Her eyes narrowed, “How ‘bout a timer? If I can last, then I win. Ten minutes sound good?”

“Sure. But I’m betting I catch you in five.” Steven teased, eyes burning as he stared down at her. Her lips twisted into a smirk to match his own as she drew herself up to her meager full height. She quivered with bravado, just under his chin.

“You’re on, Boy Wonder. Am I allowed some semblance of head start?”

In answer of her question, Steven shut his eyes and began counting backwards from ten. His heart pounded, nerves fluttering. He forced himself to calm down, to focus on the sounds.

There was a flurry of footsteps as she took off. He noted the sounds faded east.

“Ready!”

Countdown concluded he opened his eyes. His brow knitted, surprised for a moment when he realized he had a strong desire to bolt after her. He reigned it in, inhaling sharply.

The room was empty but he looked east and saw a trail of her hair yank behind a pillar at the last second. He grinned strolling that direction in an even pace that took the depths of his restraint.

Steven darted around the pillar, surprised to find it empty. Surprised, he stared for a moment.

He was jolted from his thoughts by a firm smack to his butt.

Her laughter hung in the air followed by frantic footfalls as she streaked past him.

“Hey!” He yelled, blushing heavily and scowling. It could have been his imagination but it felt like less than a swat and more of a grope.

“Keep up, Steven!” She yelled, darting ahead of him. He lunged for her and she danced out of his reach, swinging back before doubling the other direction and causing him to go skidding past her.

His eyes lit up, grin growing when he realized she indeed had a few tricks, “So that’s how it’s going to be, huh? Guess I’m gonna have to start playing for real.”

Steven lifted off, floating. He bounced off one pillar with firm feet, zipping past another. Surprise registered on her face as she realized _oh shit, he was floating_ and she ducked, barely missing a mid-air tackle by Steven.

“No fair! That is cheating!” She declared with open outrage, letting out a ‘ _meep_ ’ as he flipped mid-air, changing directions and lunging for her once more.

She slid low like a baseball player stretching for a base, swinging around a pillar to avoid him in what started out graceful and became a frantic windmilling of limbs. She bounced back, slingshotting her way around the column and darting in a zig-zag pattern to avoid his dive bomb attempts.

“Says who?” He taunted innocently, laughing. His arms grasped air as he tumbled for her across the ground. She vaulted him, jumping as he slid empty handed underneath her. Joy sunk down in him to his gem at the sound of her laughter.

She gave a little hop, then a skip to avoid the swipe of his hand going for her ankle.

She peeked out from behind another pillar, smugness evident and infuriating. Steven huffed for a moment, narrowing his eyes at her from his spot sprawled across the ground.

She stuck her tongue out at him before grinning, eyes glimmering like stars.

“You’re doing quite well for someone bad at this.” Steven pointed out with a slight pout.

“Or maybe you’re just slow, grandpa.” She countered, expression full of sly mirth.

He audibly growled at this and she took off again, looping around and behind pillars from him. She hid behind one after a moment, laughter ebbing as she struggled to catch her own breath. Her heart thundered in her chest and she tried to calm down. It didn’t do her any good.

Especially when she felt a familiar tug on her hair strands.

She whirled, backpedaling from her spot behind the pillar to see Steven’s wide grin.

“You let your guard down. That’s one.”

“You seem pleased.” She looked down at her watch, “But that one tag took you five minutes.”

The grin was wiped off his face immediately and she took off running. She skidded behind another pillar, watching as Steven barreled ahead, anticipating her to zig zag. She doubled back, changing her tactic from _hauling ass_ to _sneaking_ and hoping to run out the clock.

She kept her eye on him this time, trying to keep her breathing quiet. Steven stood in the center of observation, listening intently for any sign of her, any scramble of footfalls. His heart thundered in his chest.

“You’re doing well at staying quiet.” He observed. “But you can’t stay put forever.”

He paced through the rows of pillars, drawing dangerously close, and she darted to a new hiding spot at the last possible second.

It was a critical error and she felt a deluge flurry of bubblegum pink bubbles storm cloud in her direction. Wonder flooded her face at being caught within the whirlwind of floating pink orbs but it quickly heightened to panic. She couldn’t see. When they settled, one of them stuck, capturing her left foot within it. She jerked her leg, desperate to free herself but the pink orb stuck fast like iron.

Steven flittered behind her out of the corner of her eye. She could feel a light ghost of his fingertips brush part of the way down her spine and it made her shudder down to her toes.

“That’s two.”

She turned, intent on swatting his hand away but he was gone.

“Are the bubbles new?” She fought to keep her voice even and the exhilaration out of it. Her foot was still stuck to the ground.

He appeared again, easing out from behind the pillar in front of her. They stared at each other for a beat, his gaze dark, so very dark it twisted to molten as his gaze practically raked down her.

“They aren’t. But they have their uses.”

Her mouth felt dry, imaging several uses for them, zero of them battle related.

From the quirk of Steven’s mouth, it seems he knew exactly what she had in mind.

“This time I can catch you for real.” He warned her, bubble disappearing from her ankle with a pop and a shimmer of pink sparkles. She looked at her watch.

“Two minutes.” She managed to say, feeling a bit faint from the way he was looking at her. Steven’s gaze was heavy, intent and focused. It almost made her want to lose. Almost.

“I’ll count and give you a head start again.” Steven offered her, deceptively charitable. Something in his expression had started to twist, an edge to his gaze. She stared at him, sense of doom heightening.

He grinned a bit, “Not that it'll do you any good.”

She inhaled sharply and ran. Steven laughed darkly and began a rapid count down.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... _fivefourthreetwoone_."

He tore off after her, already beginning to move before he hit one.

The librarian ran, more frantic, and desperate not to lose.

Steven on the other hand was lost, Diamond and human blended hard in their desire to hunt her. There was a manic, exhilarated tilt to his thoughts, the excitement burning through him. He was chasing her and soon… So soon, he'd capture her. His thoughts whirled and spun, chanting her name through his mind over and over in a mantra. He heightened his senses, listening for her footfalls. He caught up quickly in a burst of pink speed, impatient.

In a matter of moments he found her. He lurked now, darting around pillars, ever circling in the shadows as she slowed in the center of observation.

This wouldn’t do. Steven summoned his shield, tossing it and clanging it off a pillar ahead of her. The librarian jumped, expression wide eyed and startled. She backed from the sound, unaware all while he was herding her, driving her in the direction he wanted.

Quickly, silently she darted ahead, desperate to put distance between her back and the sound. She swallowed thickly, glancing down at her watch as her pace slowed. Thirty seconds.

She could win. Flight lessons were almost in the bag.

She looked up, seeing she had made it to near the glass windows of the observation deck. Through the pane was the dark expanse of space. As it was so pitch dark, the panes reflected the light and the occupants within observation, a weak reflection.

And in that reflection she could see Steven closing in on her fast.

She barely had time to react, gasping as she felt him slam against her back, pinning her against the glass with his body, hands rough in her long hair. He tugged, her head tipping back and his face hovered against the column of her neck, huffing to catch his breath against her skin. She could see his gaze burned pink burning from just over her shoulder in the reflection of the glass.

Her watch alarm beeped. With shaking fingers she silenced the alarm. She should be afraid, but the only fear she felt was from the distinct absence of it. Stars, the way he was looking at her…

“Steven… Your eyes changed. Are you-”

He pulled her hair tighter, neck straining back to look at him directly rather than in the glass. She could feel his other hand travel up her side, a ghost of a caress. His gaze burned, pupils Diamond. She could feel he’d started to bulk. Despite his tight grip on her hair, the slow way those magenta eyes were raking over her felt almost reverent.

“I win.” He only answered and crushed his mouth on hers. Angry and desperate, it was a frantic pace she valiantly struggled to match. He refused to let her, pace quickening. Every time she would get close he’d tighten his fist in her hair and _tug_.

He made a sound like a grunt into her mouth and she could feel his opposite hand dig into her hip, rocking her back from her pinned place between him and the glass. His hips bumped against hers before he pressed them up against her fully, letting her feel the extent of his arousal with a pant. He broke from her mouth for a moment, huffing slightly against her bottom lip. He felt her push back, a slight roll of her own hips. Steven growled at her, an honest to goodness rumble that heated her blood.

He whipped her around to face him, hands at her wrists this time. He pushed her against the glass with enough force to shove a gasp from her, hands stretched taut above her head. His nose bumped hers, lips nuzzling the air above hers teasingly. He dove in hungrily, tongue brushing hotly past her own. There was nothing chaste about the way Steven kissed her now, all hunger and burning need like a man who was starving for her.

She tried to reach down and grab his shoulders, run her fingers through his hair. Anything to show him she wanted him, wanted this. But her hands were stuck above her head. He’d conjured another round of bubbles, locking her wrists in place. His hands ran down her forearms in a slower caress now. His kiss became unhurried, and he bit her bottom lip slightly.

“Steven…” She gasped, rational thought rapidly draining from her. She was at his mercy.

He moaned lowly at the sound of her saying his name, a little pleased sound that made her stomach flip.

“Yes?” He practically purred against her ear, hips grinding against her front. That elicited a gasp and she tried to surge forward and break free of the pink bubbles at her wrist.

“S-Someone might see…” She managed to choke out, blush dark. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to release her but yet she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

His hand came to rest at her waist, clenching her hip tight before reaching down her right thigh with a smooth hand. His pink gaze darted down between them as he hiked her right leg pulling it around his hip. Steven pressed himself hard against her, grinding desperately at that place between her thighs and drawing out multiple notes of a moan, “I don’t care if half the galaxy could see this right now. I want them to- _Ah_ \- hear you beg for me.”

His head tilted, nose brushing hers, and she felt his magic start to seep into her as he kissed her. Familiar and warm, it leaked into her mouth, making her flush. She squirmed a bit, the friction of the motion driving him equally insane. The effects of his magic was immediate, healing her soreness and her aches from the day. It also made her thighs quake. She was already hot but now she was ignited, a broken cry in her throat. His mouth trailed to the point of her chin, her throat, her neck beginning to pick up speed as he descended down, down, down her body.

“Beg.” Steven demanded with a rumble, deliberate kisses slipping from her collarbone, over the swell of her cleavage. She could feel him hesitate over her left breast, hovering for a moment, “Or tell me to stop.”

She inhaled sharply but said neither. He tore the top of her sports bra down, wrapped his lips around her nipple and sucked. Her back arched off the glass, pant leaving her at the sensation. She strained against the bubbles at her wrists, muscles cording in her biceps. His tongue swirled, pulling and she gasped loudly. Babbling, pleading nonsense streamed out of her mouth, desperate and wild, as he released her breast with an obscene pop and switched sides.

“Steven!” She gasped weakly, voice cracking. “Please…”

He released her nipple with a dark chuckle.

“Please _what_?” He breathed hotly, eyes practically burning as he stared at the blush that saturated her cheeks. Steven felt utter bliss slide through him down to his gem over the slight whimper she made at this. She wanted desperately to press her thighs together but he still had her pinned open.

“More.” She pleaded, hips twisting in vain. His Light Prism was so very beautiful. She was better than his fantasies, completely at his mercy. Like the damsel offered to Kaiju Kong in Amethyst’s movie. Steven kissed her again, this one open mouthed, with a smooth flick of his tongue that curled her toes and clenched her lower abdominal muscles. He hummed slightly at this. He broke from her, eyes flickering closed as he ran his nose down her neck slowly, relishing in the heat of her skin, the notes of her scent. His. All his.

He trailed south, hands sliding down the curve of her waist to clench possessively around her hips. He dropped to his knees in front of her like a penitent man, kissing slowly at her stomach, palms gliding down to her thighs.

“S-Steven…” She breathed, nerves raising. His eyes cut up to hers, still pink but brow quirking. She gave a nod, nearly imperceptible. It was all the encouragement he needed. His fingers hooked the waistband of her high waisted red athletic shorts and tugged. The librarian’s face exploded red as he drug her shorts down her legs. He was at eye level with her, naked from the waist down.

“You make the most beautiful sounds.” Steven only murmured. And in a smooth motion he lifted her thighs as if she weighed nothing at all. He threw her legs over his shoulders, “But there’s only one thing I want to hear.”

The librarian felt as if her face was so red she was about to pass out, “Oh?”

“Call me your Diamond. If only when we’re like this. I want to hear it… I need to hear you…” He murmured wistfully and then with determined resolve his mouth was on her. Her head fell back against the glass, a gasp leaving her. It was a different touch than his fingers, tongue wet and hot. It was firm in a different way. He sucked, hard tugs on her clit before spearing her with his tongue. She tasted incredible. He set a rhythm of tongue passes and sucks that left her moaning.

“Steven!” Her cries were like music, but not quite the song he wanted. He lapped at her more insistent. He shoved his hand downwards past his own waistband as he licked and teased her. His other hand traveled upwards and he gripped her breast hard, squeezing. He felt her gasp wantonly, hips pushing forward into his face. He met her eagerly.

His head tilted, nose brushing her, and he hit a spot that suddenly had her gasping. Her head tipped back further as she peaked. She was absolutely beautiful, the expression she made as she arched into ecstasy. Sensing her urgency, Steven guided her through it as she crested and swelled. He swirled another lick with magic. She came, grinding against his chin, a deep pulse.

“I’m going to keep going.” Then a pause as he breathed, “Are you okay?”

“ _Yes, yes, yes, yes._ ” The pleas left her as a heated chant as he slid his fingers inside her, a slow pump, as his tongue continued to flick at her clit. The post-orgasm ache of her lower stomach muscles melted at his healing magic, fading as she melted into the edge of another crest. Another pass of his tongue, weak whimpers leaving her as he purred around her clit.

“Please, please, Steven… Please…” There was a beat and then, “My Diamond!”

Steven groaned, hearing her beg and call out for him just as he’d desired. He came hard, his fingers stilled within her for a moment. He pushed out a wave of magic and her toes curled.

She was sobbing, the sensations so powerful. Nonsense flowed out of her mouth, broken syllables of his name or _My Diamond_ intercut with profanity. She fell into an ocean, rocking within a cresting sea as she built towards climax after climax. Time seemed to slow as he dumped wave after wave of magic into her in a shimmer of pink, drawing out her peaks or leading her quickly to another crest.

Her mind became gloriously quiet. There was no anxiety about her, her powers, about him, or what everything meant. It was only bliss and touch and _Steven_. Stars, this was… He was…

There was a glow, this one soft and warm, a glittering that felt incredibly personal. There was an explosion of pleasure and she drowned in it, all sense leaving her.

She didn’t remember Steven releasing her wrists from being his bubbles or him stopping. She didn’t even remember leaving the room.

She came to with her shorts back on and she registered she was lying down and cradled against his chest.

She tried to push with her arms but they were numb, useless noodle limbs. He kissed at her temple and she groaned, feeling faint. She blinked, gears in her brain starting to turn again.

“What happened? Why don’t my arms work?” She asked, floundering helplessly, aware she was no longer in observation. She was in Lars’ bed with Steven. He made a soothing sound at her wide eyed expression, fingertips running down her spine having a tranquilizing effect. She stopped struggling, staring up at him as he lounged with one hand behind his head. His eyes were a rich brown once more.

“Sorry about that.” Steven assured her, expression only slightly guilty.

“For what?” She exclaimed, cheeks flushed.

“Well.. I don’t think your body was supposed to um… do that. I also might have used too much magic. You were acting like you were drunk, mumbling and not making any sense. And then you started glowing, so I stopped.”

The librarian’s mouth fell open, “Wait, I was glowing? In an abstract romantic way or a magical kind of way?”

Steven hummed, cheeks cresting pink, “Both but ah… Definitely magical. I think you were summoning some type of power. Certainly felt like it to me.” It had felt like the most blissful thing he’d ever experienced.

The librarian groaned, smashing her face to hide against Steven’s chest, “No, no, no, no! That was the closest I’ve been to summoning my powers and it only took you blowing my mind to do it.”

“You seem mad.” Steven pointed out nervously.

“Well, yeah! I need to summon it for the heist and I can’t exactly have you do _that_ in the middle of it.” She flapped her hands at him and Steven started laughing, a low rumble of relief and mirth.

“I’m game. Sort of failing to see the issue, personally.” He stated with a wolfish grin.

" _Steven_! I'm serious!" She smacked him playfully with a huff, earning more laughter from him, "I need to know how I did it."

“What? I told you! Don’t worry. You’ll summon it again. This just proves you _can_ do it.” He murmured to her.

She hummed thoughtfully, resting her head against his chest once more. She exhaled, trying to push those worries away.

“Soooo… I ‘blew your mind,’ huh?” Steven quoted her, tone deceptively nonchalant but also full of boundless curiosity and impish mirth. The compliment fishing was blatant.

She let out a prolonged groan, smothering a smile, “I’m not answering that.”

“Fine, fine.” His tone shifted, “But you _are_ okay though, right? Nothing hurts?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Supremely fine. I feel amazing. Why?”

Steven shifted, uncomfortable now, “I was supposed to be controlling those type of… I just shouldn’t have been so rough with you is all.” Steven insisted, embarrassment and shame cresting.

“Steven, you didn’t do anything wrong. Did I tell you to stop? Or that you were hurting me?”

Steven flushed, “I… Well, no.”

She hummed against him, a happy sound before she twisted a bit, looking at the slightly pained emotion in his face, “That’s cause I enjoyed it. Did you?”

“Yes.” He admitted, cheeks coloring darkly as he broke his gaze away from hers in shame.

She coaxed him back to look at her, fingertips at his chin, “Then why do you feel guilty?”

“Doesn’t matter.” He breathed, closing his eyes desperately. She’d hate him.

“It does.” She insisted, “Steven, I’m not mad. And I’m not going to leave. Just tell me-”

“What we just did is the tip of the iceberg of what I want! You’re beautiful and perfect a-and… Stars, I just… I have _endless_ fantasies with you and all of them start like that or worse.” Steven confessed, cheeks pink.

Understanding dawned, “You want to dominate me. But you feel guilty about it.”

His gaze was intense, pink light flaring in excitement. At her words he swallowed nervously, irises dissipating to tempered chocolate once more, “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…”

Steven’s cheeks crested pink guiltily. The signs were all there really, that he liked control. From the big things like how he wouldn’t let things go, his tendency to overprotect, the way he planned and schemed. To the small things like the way he’d rearranged the flower in her hair on their first date and her fridge by food group on their third.

And now he was like a deer in headlights, desperately trying not to embarrass himself and scare away the girl he was finding he could not be without.

“But you do.” She pointed out, refusing to drop it.

“We’re not having this conversation.” Steven muttered pleadingly, eyes closed.

“I really think we should.” She continued amiably, “What bothers you about it, exactly? We're two consenting adults who are dating.”

“Are you kidding me? I shouldn't want control over you, over anybody… It’s _wrong_. It has to be Pink Diamond that’s…” Steven stammered, avoiding her question by pointing the metaphorical finger. He could feel his Diamond grumbling at this.

The librarian fixed him with a wry glance, “All him, huh? You sure about that?”

“No. Yes? I don’t know.” Steven admitted finally with a slight whine, “I can’t tell anymore if I moved all those feelings into that side of myself because I feel guilty. Or if it’s a Diamond reaction to wanting fealty over your powers as a Light Prism. It could be both.”

“But dominating me is something both sides of you like.” She pressed.

It wasn’t a question. He answered her anyway.

“Yeah.” He admitted with a defeated sigh, “I know you can’t give me fealty but when we’re like that… And you call me your Diamond… Just for a little while, I can pretend.” There was a rush that left him at the admission, a feeling of relief. He chanced a glance over at her, cringing and full of vulnerability.

“You’re right.” She murmured, “I can’t give you fealty.”

He knew as much but the rejection of hearing it aloud from her stung anyway.

“But I can give you this.” She continued, “I trust you, Steven. Enough to let you take charge of me sometimes. But only like that, when we’re alone. I still want to be as we are now too… talking like equals.”

Steven felt like he quit breathing, staring at her with wide eyes.

“I do too. But you… Y-You don’t have to. I don’t n-need you to.” He floundered. It was unfair.

She had no idea… No idea how badly he wanted this. It burned and sang through his blood.

“I know but you want this.” She insisted, “And… I mean, as long as you’ll still let me say no and we talk about things in advance… I don’t see why we couldn’t.”

Steven had deleted his ability to form words, only capable of a strangled squeak.

The librarian flushed now, “If it would be anything like earlier… Well I… I think I want you to.”

Steven felt his brain go haywire and crash, unable to string together thought. She wanted him. She wanted him and she wanted him to… To… His mouth went dry, his hands shaking.

He couldn’t take it. He kissed her, relief and excitement thundering through his chest.

She wasn’t afraid or angry or disgusted with him. In fact, from the way she kissed him she was enthusiastic.

He had never thought… Never begun to fathom from the pedestal he held her on…

She looked up at him through her lashes demurely and Steven felt his heart stutter, breath clenching.“Will you tell me what else you want? My… Diamond?”

He felt his breathing tighten, skin flushing bubblegum pink all over like someone had snapped their fingers. He rolled, tumbling to be on top and caging her between flat palms and curling fingers. His thoughts raced, a whirlwind of possibilities and euphoria. His pink eyes seemed to flutter over her features, desire blatant and full of longing.

A knock sounded to the door of Lars’ room.

“What is it?” Steven called, regretful at the edge his voice had came with. He shut his eyes for a moment, trying desperately to regain himself.

“Captain Lars sent me. We’re approaching the Beta Quadrant.” Rhodonite’s voice called, muffled through the steel. He pushed himself off of the librarian, staring away from her.

“Are you okay?” She asked him softly, noticing he was still pink and starting to shake.

He nodded, trying to pull his thoughts back. Instead he managed to sulk, “I want my week.”

The librarian laughed, smiling at him, “When we get back, maybe then?”

Steven’s mind reeled and he nodded, “You need to go with Rhodonite. You need to recover still and I… I need to calm down.”

She moved, rustling to crawl off the mattress. She brushed by him, unable to resist.

“Yes… My Diamond.” She breathed in his ear. Steven let out a mix of a keen and a pant at this followed by a desperate crushed moan of multiple notes at her use of the title. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and dragging her into his lap. He kissed her thoroughly, demandingly for a moment. He crushed his mouth over hers until she squeaked.

More knocking sounded, Rhodonite insistent.

Steven and the librarian broke, struggling to catch their breath as they stared at each other, enamored with the other.

The librarian heard Rhodonite call her name, then Steven’s.

“Go.”

She swallowed and pulled herself off Steven’s lap, butterflies tumbling within her. She didn’t look back but smoothed her hair down with shaking hands and opened the door.

The fluffy haired fusion stood there looking relieved, “Finally! Oh… Am I interrupting something?”

Steven struggled to stay put at his spot on the edge of the mattress. He wanted to slam the door in Rhodonite’s face. Wanted to drag the librarian back into his lap again. Wanted to bury his hands in her hair. Wanted, wanted, wanted.

_My Diamond._

Her voice had made it sound perfect.

Stars, it was better than he remembered, better than he’d fantasized.

“No.” The librarian answered Rhodonite quickly, “I was just leaving.”

She cast a glance over her shoulder at Steven. He’d quickly shut his eyes and attempted to pick up meditation but it was clear he was struggling. He hadn’t gone full Pink Diamond but he was well on his way. His shoulders were broader, hair puffier.

She swallowed, how his eyes had burned when she’d called him My Diamond. It had made her feel warm. Oh stars, she couldn’t stay in here.

“Steven. He’s… He’s pink.” Rhodonite pointed out numbly, catching sight of him.

“Yes… He’s meditating. It happens. We should go.” The librarian prompted her hurriedly, practically sprinting from the room like a coward.

“Oh… Oh yes we should! I’m glad I found you. We’re approaching the Beta Quadrant now. We’re thirty eight minutes behind schedule but we might be able to fit in four more weapon type tests.” She pointed out anxiously, hurrying to keep up.

He heard the librarian’s footfalls recede, the door phase shut.

Pink Diamond opened his eyes, also feeling like he was behind schedule.

He had every intention of making up for lost time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry I've already checked myself in to horny jail. Next chapter - Heist, heist baby. 
> 
> Further notes: Betty Crocker is a baking brand. For Just One Day Let's Only think About Love, Haven't You Noticed, and Cookie Cat are all Rebecca Sugar. The Force is yet another Star Wars reference. Inspo for the Steven tag scene can be directly blamed on the chase scene with Wolf and Virginia from the 10th Kingdom. Honorable mention to the hundreds of hours I've spent reading Inuyasha fanfiction where he goes full demon and chases Kagome. 
> 
> Til next time and happy new year xoxo


	13. Lars of the Stars, Part III

The librarian had a long and storied history of being a fidgeter. It was a nervous habit her Dad had scolded her for and her Pops had lovingly described as a nervous rhythm.

She funneled her anxiety through a beat of her own making, channeling her anxiousness through a quick staccato beat via the back point of her heels. _Tap, taptap, tap, taptap._

“Stop that.” Lars scolded her over his shoulder. He was fiddling with an earpiece, twisting the cord just so as it was concealed behind his right ear.

“No.” She tossed back petulantly. _Tap, taptap, tap._

If she stopped now she’d have to think. And if she had focus on her thoughts in depth, well, there’d be room for pesky reminders of how this could all go wrong. Rhodonite’s theory had been so easy to blow off on the _Manifest Destiny_.

But the librarian wasn’t on the _Manifest Destiny_ any more.

_Taptaptaptaptap._

Lars scowled at her, then paused as if a thought only just occurred to him.

“It’s going to work, you know.”

“I know. I know.” She only answered brusquely, not keeping eye contact as she scanned the room from the balcony.

When Lars had mentioned the auction, she had thought the implications were clear. All things considered, this was the illegal arms trade after all. It carried implicit connotations of trench coats, furtive glances, and dimly lit parking garages.

Or, she amended, spaceship docks.

What she hadn’t expected was it to be out in the open, in a library of all the ironic spaces.

The familiar setting did nothing to assuage her fears. It was unlike any library she’d ever seen.

It was also so posh it set her teeth on edge.

The Federation of Intergalactic Knowledge was a floating building, a beacon of both historical record and new thought in the middle of the Beta Quadrant. The domed building was suspended in the second layer of the tiered city, anchored only by intricate metal work of cables. The suspended architecture was enough to make a Bismuth drool.

The librarian knew she had an air of a first-time tourist, a mix of anxiety, not belonging, and awe at the sights she was seeing. She really couldn’t help it.

The inside of the library, for one thing, was magnificent. There were shelves from floor to ceiling. It was ladders to heights so high she couldn’t see where they ended, all rich, polished wood bannisters and warm lighting. It oozed old charm and smelled like dust and money.

Half the spines were in languages she couldn’t read. Another section was full of tablets in various mediums, resembling a museum. There was an additional section full of scrolls she was dying to disappear and dive into. There was an additional wing with more traditional holocron data stores. But even that was given a veneer of the old world with lush red arm chairs, dim lighting and private spaces for viewing.

In all this antiquity, people and aliens weaved in and out around shelves in a dizzying array of fashion that left the librarian gobsmacked. The librarian spied Gems, humans, Metals, and at least four other beings she hadn’t ever seen before all in the central room alone.

The hair, fashion, and makeup on the more humanoid were awash with vibrant colors and elaborate designs. She was fairly certain one woman had some type of living fish in the fabric of her dress. Another gentleman with cerulean skin and a curled mustache had a suit that changed colors like a chameleon. Strains of electroswing, jazz, and classical drifted in the air.

“Are all these people here for the auction?” She asked Lars, feeling a bit overwhelmed ,in the face of such extravagance. She turned from the balcony. Sensing his own anxiousness she straightened the bow tie on his tux like she had so many times for her Dad, her thumbs smoothing the points.

“Officially they’re here to patron the Federation for Intergalactic Knowledge. But unofficially, yeah, they’re here to bid. You’re not the only thing up for sale on the docket, but you’re towards the end.”

That was when she saw it, the familiar slim handle of the destabilizer, tucked in the inner pocket of his waistcoat jacket. She kept her fingers light and continued to fiddle with Lars’ bow tie, drawing close to him in the process.

“Is that ah… good?” She asked, scrunching her nose and trying to feign an air of nonchalant. Her fingers wrapped around the slim tube and she managed to snake it free and into the folds of her own dress.

Lars noticed nothing, flustered from her fussing, “They save the best for final billing at these things.”

“At least it’s a silent auction.” She sighed. The idea of a bunch of people standing around bidding on her the traditional way felt dehumanizing, even if she had agreed to this.

“Remember, bidding closes in two hours. Mingle and make a good impression until then.”

“Can't I just skim the shelves? Twenty minutes.” She bargained, Lars quickly resembling a wholly exasperated parent. She was fairly certain she'd seen one aisle that looked to be in English, another in Gem glyphs.

“Fifteen?”

A grimace from Lars.

“Ten!” She bargained desperately. This had to be some sort of torture. Shelves upon shelves of intergalactic knowledge just out of reach with no time to indulge.

“No!” Lars kept shaking his head in the negative.

The librarian’s head hung in defeat, groan escaping her.

“Come on, Lars! These people know whether or not they're gonna bid with or without seeing me.” She insisted, making what she felt was _very good points._

“Steven and I did not toss you into that gown for you to lurk in the stacks.” Lars pointed out.

The injustice of it all! Chastised and sulking, she shifted on her feet. She had brought a dress from her home closet, a green number she’d worn to a wedding two years ago.

_“This is very fashionable!”_

_“Agree to disagree. This demands a makeover montage, wouldn’t you agree, Steven?”_

What followed was best saved for her future nightmares. She’d be seeing the delirious star eyed pupils of both men as they shoved her into dress after dress, pricking and prodding her with tweezers and makeup brushes. What she wore now was something she never in a million years would have picked out for herself. But she had to admit, it was a knockout of a dress.

The garment had a thin collar around her neck and covered her front completely with the exception of a tear dropped shaped peep window that dipped low between her breasts. The back of the dress was low and it clung down to her thighs before flaring out in a wide skirt. What made it unique was the top half consisted entirely of iridescent rope work knotting. The bottom was full of wispy chiffon that seemed to billow in the slightest invited wind.

When she asked Lars where in the hell he came up with a variety of gowns for her i _n three days_ the space captain merely made a strange reference to the power of a rather generous anonymous benefactor. The librarian suspected said benefactor was a certain space prince who’d gotten very pink and very evasive when asked about the bill.

“Where is Steven, anyway?” She asked him, brows knitting as her eyes scanned the crowds for the umpteenth time.

“Oh he's around. He'll show up later. Don't worry. Everything's going to plan. Now straighten up. They’re announcing us.” Lars chided her like a disgruntled hen.

“The Honorable Captain L. J. Barringa and Miss…oh… Item 2687 up for bid, the Light Prism.”

“Jerk. I told him my name.” The librarian grumbled under her breath.

“Showtime.” Lars reminded her insistently.

Now came the moment of truth.

Had she been able to display her power and summon it, now would have been the time for a glorious display.

But she could not summon it. So she took a page from the history books.

When she was little, the librarian been fascinated by a distant many-greats aunt on her Dad’s side of the family. She was a medium during Spiritualism who pierced the veil of the great beyond to speak with the dearly departed for a….modest nominal fee. Her Dad insisted she was gifted. Her Pops insisted she was a shrewd business woman who knew the art of the illusion and the con. So in the spirit of her Dad’s relative, she took a deep breath and tried to project an air of confidence.

She closed her eyes, chin rising as she began a grand gesticulation, a circling of hands in flowing motions that seemed grand but were actually empty and meaningless. To the observer, it was a serious dance, an ancient rite for power summoning that appeared mystical and exotic.

In reality it was a mix of motions she’d see on a tai chi workout tape of her Pops.

Lars flipped an anti-gravity switch on the back of his belt discretely and took her hand. He put his hand to her lower back, the small flashlight in his palm lighting the iridescent fibers up in her dress and, along with the help of a clear compound she’d rubbed all over like lotion, made her appear to glow. She seemed to glitter, earning gasps from attendees.

Lars took her arm and the two floated down from the second story and into the center of the atrium. It was not as pleasant as floating with Steven, the ride artificial, but she strived to make it look effortless all the same. She suddenly had empathy for princesses forced to smile and do the fake cupped hand wave for processions.

“So… L.J., huh? What’s the ‘J’ stand for?” She asked out of the corner of her mouth, all eyes on them. She smiled prettily and continued through her teeth, “Jeremy? John?”

“Now? You're asking me this now?” Lars asked, brow quirked overtop his large fake smile.

“It's either this or I throw up on your shoes. James? Jingleheimerschmitt?”

“Oh no. I saw you use that kind of knowledge for evil once already. Never gonna happen.” Lars grinned. The two landed, switch reengaged and light extinguished, and the librarian let out a breath.

She was about to follow up with another round of name suggestions when she was interrupted by a matronly woman with some type of elaborate bird cage dress and another elderly gentleman who’s head was being housed in a box he carried.

“I say! Are you _really_ a Light Prism? You look like a human to me.” The head in the box scrutinized her. The librarian decided his British sounding accent was more outlandish than the location of his head.

“Harold! You can’t just ask a Light Prism If she’s really a Light Prism! That’s _rude_.” The birdcage woman hissed back with a bit of a huff. Her hair resembled the puffed antiquated wigs of Marie Antoinette so the library found a certain humor in her accompanying the headless Harold.

The librarian gave her name shortly, “But yes, I am.”

“A Light Prism with a name? Most unconventional. These auctions are really going downhill. Vetting in my day used to be done with genetic authentication and carbon dating. Prevents faux goods, you see.”

The librarian looked around for Lars, already irritated he had disappeared immediately and that Harold’s head box did not have some sort of front door or flap she could shut.

“She’s quite genuine, Chancellor Ottenmeir, I assure you of that.” A voice at her back sounded darkly. She could feel cold fingers on the exposed skin of her back and it made her spine crawl.

Copper, Electric Grade, C101 slid into her peripherals and she felt cold fear in her gut. He was here, tangible, and not a hologram. His hair was elegantly slicked back, buttoned suit reminiscent of a military officers formal dress. The browns and tans accentuated the cold sepia of his skin, giving it sheen like a penny in light.

“Although what a piss poor, ragtag group of degenerates like your daughter would do with one is odious to contemplate.”

The librarian’s mouth hung open a bit but she quickly snapped it shut.

“Better her than in the hands of a ruthless annihilator like your Silver that’s for sure.” Harold bit back, not the least bit ruffled. The room ambiance dropped several degrees from the exchange.

Copper looked perturbed but retained his haughtiness, “Nonsense, my most precious Metal Silver, Sterling Grade, Point 925 is the rightful owner of this Light Prism.”

“Oh, is he here?” The librarian asked politely with faux innocence. Harold and the birdcage woman choked, illy disguising their laughter. Copper however, was far from amused.

“I could ask the same about Pink Diamond. I don’t see him here either.” Copper intoned and the librarian felt her chest seize, “How _did_ that space ruffian manage to succeed where I failed? Stealing you out from under the nose of the youngest member of the Diamond Authority is no easy feat.”

That sounded like an accusation and while he _was_ right on the money, silently she fumed. She met Copper’s gaze in earnest, fury palpable between the two. Chancellor Ottenmeir and the birdcage woman winced and backed away as Copper and the librarian faced off.

The librarian raised her chin, “I don’t belong to Pink Diamond. I don’t belong to anybody.”

Power play fantasies aside, her relationship with Steven was still one of equal footing.

“Hn. This fallacy of yours must be a product of your Earth environment.” Copper grumbled.

“Or you know….” She gestured with her hands helplessly, “You’re just wrong.”

“Impossible. I’m never wrong. I’m a Copper. I know _everything_. It’s what I was forged for. Just like what you were forged for is to lead the Metal Consortium into a new age of conquest.” He explained in clipped tones. She could see it in his eyes, a mad burn for power that terrified her.

Still she found her voice, relieved when it didn’t shake, “Not interested.”

Copper gave a bark of laughter, menace boiling beneath the facade, “An amusing take, to think you have a choice. No matter, as tiresome as it is… There’s nothing stopping Silver from buying your ownership once more.”

“Civilized.” The librarian appraised, as if she was commenting on the cuteness of a child and not a warrior race’s strategy, “I had heard Metals weren’t capable of that. I half expected you to murder everyone and carry me off like some sort of dimwitted caveman.”

Vaguely she was aware her mouth was saying things that were insulting, yet it seemed to run separate from her brain without a filter for self-preservation. Another more rational part of her was internally screaming at herself to _shut up, abort abort, you absolute loon._

“Oh it was an option, given how ghastly the guest list is.” Copper’s eyes seemed to glimmer and twist at the insult, restrained rage an undercurrent in his expression. He sneered, showing full teeth.

She hoped she was fast enough to wield the destabilizer, if needed. But she straightened her spine and kept his gaze, defiant. Cowering was never a good look.

“Though the universe would be far improved for it, annihilating the guests and just taking you would have set off an intergalactic incident. So for now, I am…” He paused here, searching, “What’s the pathetic Earth term for it?”

The librarian had to bite her tongue. She could supply several options, none of them polite.

“Ah yes. _Playing nice_.” He spit the words out as if they tasted foul.

“This is you… actually being nice?” The librarian trailed, the words feeling strange in her mouth as she said them.

She didn’t think it was possible. He had tried to kidnap her and shatter her friends. Twice.

“Indeed. I loathe it as well.” Copper commiserated, seething.

The music began, a swell of orchestra, an electronic cut of jazz and a synth beat.

“Ah, classical. Come Light Prism. As I’m already forced to proceed with this farce… Let us see if you can follow rudimentary orders and dance.” Copper stated, grabbing her the the elbow and dragging her to the center of the atrium dance floor without waiting for an answer.

“Do Metals actually know how to dance?” She asked, ignoring the jibe.

“Typically it’s on the graves of our enemies but for tonight I’ll make an exception.”

She choked back a snort, surprised, “Was that a joke?”

"Bah!" Copper only tossed his head, expression sour. The librarian looked around, surprised to see most parties engaging in some type of robotic waltz. As much as she did not want to dance, she knew this opportunity to actually _talk_ to Copper was rare. He wasn’t threatening her bodily harm or engaging her in a fight.

She thought of Steven, how he had always managed to find the best in others and in her.

So maybe… Just maybe…

“Your footwork is absolutely atrocious.” Copper intoned, hand grasping her forearm rather than her palm. He had another hand at her shoulder and he seemed to shove, rather than lead her around the dance floor.

Or maybe not.

“I don’t know the steps and you are a terrible leader.”

“Copper’s aren’t leaders. We are strategists. We exist as the brain behind the brawn.” He propelled her through a series of jilted steps. She could think of several retorts to this, nine of them insulting and two likely to cause her bodily harm. She bit her tongue again.

She stepped on his feet once or twice to make up for it.

“Speaking of leaders, you said your Precious Metal is Silver. What’s he like?”

“What’s Silver, Sterling, Point 925 _like_?” Copper repeated clinically. He seemed to turn this over seriously for a moment, expression deeply contemplative. He began his list in a regimented fashion, “Order. Obedience. Subjugation. The praise of the strong. The tears of the weak…“

“Not that kind of like! I meant what’s his personality? How long have you worked for him?”

Copper’s nose wrinkled in distaste, “What does that matter? He is an effective commander. I have been under his leadership for some six thousand years.”

“You’ve worked for Silver for _six thousand years_ and you can’t tell me one thing about his personality?” She turned her head in disbelief to stare at him.

“He’s… cold.” Copper stated finally in a proud tone that deemed this a compliment. “He is the most decorated and most venerated of the Metal Consortium. A true shining example to us all. His filagree is unparalleled.”

The librarian paled. She’d come across filagree in her readings of Metals from Gem texts. For every world burned to smelt, the echelon in charge of conquest would add more filagree to their bodies, intricate carvings like tattoos that would be beautiful if they did not signify the obliteration of cultures and worlds. And Silver, it seemed, was the most decorated of them all. She shuddered.

“Hm… He sounds lovely.” Her tone was grim, grimace apparent.

Copper looked deeply offended, “Silver is the strongest warrior in the galaxy. He is _not_ lovely.”

“Oh no.” She assured him hurriedly, “That was sarcasm. He sounds ghastly.”

Copper beamed at this, “Oh yes, now we have reached an understanding. He is terrifying.” He stated brightly, with a malevolent shine in his eyes that made the librarian think they did not really understand each other at all.

She nearly told him so when there was a tap at Copper’s shoulder.

“You’re monopolizing her time.” A nasally voice stated flatly and she was promptly whisked into the arms of a stout neon yellow Gem.

“Oh. Hello.” The librarian stated, staring down a bit at the short Gem who danced her away from the open mouthed Copper with rapid steps and turns through dance. She wasn’t aware of the movements but she was able to follow easier.

“I can’t believe my eyes. A Metal in a learning institution. Now I’ve _really_ seen everything.” The Gem snorted, sound resonating in her sinuses like an antiquated telephone operator. Her pixie hair was pointed, like a vertical lemon. Her skin, hair, eyes, dress… everything was bright, canary yellow.

“You’re… a Gem, right?” The librarian guessed.

“And you’re a Light Prism. Now that we’ve stated the obvious we can get down to business. You seem familiar. My Diamond would like to know why.” The librarian felt her mouth go dry.

Garnet’s warning about the Diamonds rang in her mind.

“Did you say Diamond?” The librarian asked, her voice going high and cracking a bit.

She rapidly wished she had a higher stat in deception abilities.

“Hm… Are you only capable of broken questions? How disappointing. I suppose your humanoid form is the only interesting thing about you after all.” The yellow Gem looked almost bored as her gaze scanned the crowd.

“I couldn't care less about how interesting I appear to you.” The librarian snipped impulsively.

The Gem let out a nasally laugh at this, sounding a bit like a honking horn, “Oh my! So you do have some surprises. Yellow Diamond will be _thrilled_.”

“You’re here for Yellow Diamond?” The librarian asked, disbelief back on her face. In retrospect that now seemed obvious given the Gem’s color scheme.

“I _am_ her Pearl.” The Gem only stated with a crocodile’s smile, her pupil’s suddenly diamond pointed as she leaned in to study the librarian’s expression. There was something in her gaze, like someone else was studying her through the Gem’s eyes.

“But there’s an Accord.”

It was gone in a blink. That honking laughter resumed again, “Oh that’s hilarious! Don’t tell me you actually _believe_ in that nonsense! A weapon that believes in a peace treaty!”

She continued laughing and the librarian spun out of her grip, head whirling as much as the room. The Accords was everything Steven had worked for. It was different, hearing Lars slight it to Steven’s face. He could defend it. But this was a representative of his _family_.

She felt a little sick.

“I think we’re done here.” The librarian stated in clipped fury, earning coos of amusement from Yellow Pearl. She stormed towards the back of the room, towards the archive.

Party be damned. She was going to go skim the bookcases like she’d wanted from the start.

However, she never made it. She was interrupted by a steady stream of interested people.

“Show me your powers.”

“How durable is your human form?”

“Show me your powers?”

“How many constructs can you control at once?”

“Show me your powers!”

The noise of conversation became deafening and finally she stumbled behind a pillar long enough to hide. She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against it.

Copper had been right about one thing. The guest list for this event was ghastly. Not one person all evening had asked if she had a name.

No one here believed in Steven, who had worked so hard to create a lasting galactic peace.

“Excuse me, miss. Could I have this dance?” A polite voice asked her.

She went to wave them away, unable to stomach another interrogation.

Then his hand caught hers.

Her eyes widened when she registered he’d called her _miss_. That was recognition of a lady. Recognition as a person. Those hands were so gentle, so soft and kind.

She knew these hands.

She squinted, staring past the arm, “Steven?”

Her brain struggled to connect the face with the hybrid for some reason.

The features separately were all there - the dark hair, the brown eyes, the voice. But for some reason the association from features to Steven Universe was a gap her brain refused to fill. The stranger at her front was wearing a full black tuxedo with a pink corsage, a long cape lined red, and a pointed white eye mask.

His eyes sparkled with mirth at the look of shock on her face as her fangirl brain set to work rectifying this was indeed her boyfriend and he was wearing an outfit that looked suspiciously like…

“Is that Tuxedo Knight’s costume from _Princess Bunny Space Soldier_?” She asked, a little breathlessly. Her voice sounded high and wavering to her ears. Seeing Steven dressed as Tuxedo Knight, the tux she suspected custom tailored….

It was unfair for one, distracting as all hell for another.

It gave an illusion he was taller. The clean lines and custom seams made him look broader in the chest and narrower in the hips. The light played tricks of color in the swirls of his curls, giving them depth and dimension of almost violet at times. Her mouth watered. Stranger or Steven he was undeniably handsome.

“I thought you might like it.” He snickered, pleased with her slack-jaw stare and stammering.

“Peridot might have tampered with the mask. No one else should recognize me.”

_That explained the brain dissonance._

“You kept this a secret from me this whole time?” She asked, both offended and impressed. She circled him now, taking him in at all angles. She couldn’t quit staring at him. The mask gave him the mystique of a hot stranger fresh from her most illicit fantasies. But the voice, the hands were all the safe comfort of Steven.

“It was definitely hard. But worth it.”

“But… Lars said you shouldn’t be here until later.” She felt swept away. Steven grasped her hand, another falling to her hip as he seamlessly floated her out to the center of the dance floor and through the steps of a waltz. Unlike her other dance partners, this was effortless. He guided her through the barest of pressure from his fingertips and she followed, flowing with him.

“It _is_ later and I didn’t want you to deal with everyone on your own.” He paused for a moment after the admission, scowl evident, “It’s bad enough you had to dance with Copper and Yellow Pearl.”

For once, there was no quip, Steven realized with increasing worry. It was something he loved about her, her wielding of words, her wry jokes. The silent absence of them made him instantly aware and concerned. She wasn’t looking at him either, chin tucked and fingers tightening. They turned, a beautiful weave across the dance floor but as her distress dawned, he slowed their movements.

She heard him whisper her name in concern, trying to duck to see her face and she swallowed.

“This was a bad idea. Nobody here cares about peace or sees me as a person. I’m just this… thing to them. It’s gross.” She turned her head, mumbling into his shoulder.

“Why do you care what they think?” Steven asked her gently. She could hear his worry.

“I don’t I…”

She sort of did. She hated that she did.

The song changed, becoming slow. The librarian drifted closer to him all at once existing within his personal space. Her arm circled his back, hand resting between his shoulder blades. She rested her cheek on the front of his lapel, holding his hand in hers close to her as she swayed.

Steven could feel her tenseness, her turmoil and he searched for words to make her feel better desperately.

“All of these people…” He began cautiously, “You’re right that they don’t care. But that’s only because they aren’t asking you the right questions. They don’t see you for you. If they made the effort. If they spent time with you and saw you the way the Crystal Gems do…”

_The way I do._

His voice wavered here and he hesitated, “They’d love you.”

She looked up at him and smiled, a watery one but a smile all the same. He pulled her closer, wanting for the umpteenth time to kiss her but settling for the intimate sway of dance. They weaved again but critically this time Steven missed a step, stumbling slightly.

The librarian looked up surprised, but this time it was Steven’s face that appeared stricken.

“Steven? What is it?” She asked, expression widening in confusion. Steven whirled her with his hands into a complete turn, holding her closer. She shook the awe from her expression, trying not to let herself be distracted. He was a good dancer. _Of course_ he was a good dancer.

Steven let out a shaky laugh, “Wrong! Who says anything is wrong?”

“Steven…” The librarian warned him, tone weary.

“I’m wearing an earpiece.” He finally admitted hesitantly, “And it appears The Rutile Twins, also known as Escape Plan A/B, was just captured by event security.”

The librarian stared at him expectantly, “And Escape Plan C?”

“There’s not one.” Steven continued shakily. “It was not part of the plan…”

There was screaming and commotion as a hole blasted through a section of wall dust cloud exploding. Lars sailed through it, looking worse for the wear and tumbling across the ground. To his credit he regained his footing in a backwards flip, skidding to a halt in the center of the dance floor.

“Neither is that.” Steven quipped as a Gem emerged from the hole within the wall. She was green from head to toe, hair wild like flames. She had a gem for a left eye, a wild unibrow that looked like lightening. She stole through the dust with an attitude like someone who had just won the moral and literal high ground.

“Captain Lars! I had heard rumors you’d be attending this little _soiree_ and thought I’d drop by to thank you for stealing my ship. Again.” The Gem stated in measured, delighted fury.

“Emerald. Always a pleasure.” Lars returned the greetings straightening to his full height, “If you wanted to dance, you should have just asked.”

“I don’t want you to dance, Captain. I want you to _die_.” Emerald spat and extended her palm to reveal a light beam of green. Lars dodged, quick on his feet to avoid beams of light. Which, judging from the smoldering hors devours table and the trembling waiter, atomized on impact.

“So the _Manifest Destiny_ …” The librarian trailed numbly, watching Lars summersault across the ground, avoiding blasts of green as Emerald cackled maniacally.

“Oh yeah Lars stole that for sure.” Steven confirmed rapidly, spectating beside her. Event guards trailed in, a mix of private security and elite personal bodyguards. Both of them eyed Emerald and Lars with the kind of glee reserved for prize fighters and predators.

The librarian looked at Steven, panic rising in her expression that the whole scene was beginning to indeed go as Rhodonite had predicted. Steven sighed, fixing a stern stare on her, finger raising in warning, “Hide and stay out of trouble.”

The librarian gave a half nod and Steven ran forward, conjuring pink energy as his shield appeared. He tossed it wide, knocking three attackers back from Lars and into unconsciousness in a smooth arc.

The librarian ducked behind a bookcase but stuck her foot out, tripping one intent attacker and causing another two to stumble over him.

Emerald was laughing wildly, unhinged and firing beam after beam towards Lars. He’d knocked over an appetizer plate and used the mirrored surface to reflect her beams at two other attackers.

“Lars!” Steven tossed his shield again flat like a platform in a series of bursts and Lars scaled them like stairs, avoiding the attempts of several others to capture him. He came down with a heavy punch right on top of Emerald’s head. She blocked it with a high forearm, sending him flying backwards in a crackle of green and yellow electricity.

Steven caught Lars, using the twisted momentum to fling him right back at her. Returned to sender, Lars let loose a concussive scream knocking Emerald back and straight into the bookcases the librarian had just ducked behind. They wavered and the librarian scrambled from behind them.

Emerald’s foot slammed down onto the traitorous chiffon of the librarian’s gown and she shot a hand out, grabbing her by the wrist, “Wait just a minute. I recognize you. You're Captain Lars’ little item… That Light Prism.”

"Who me? You must have me mistaken with someone else!" The librarian laughed nervously at the Gem and went to tug her wrist back. Emerald tightened her grip and leveled her hand cannon directly into the librarian's face. She froze, staring down the glowing white barrel, the hair on her neck standing on end.

"You little liar." Emerald seethed at her. 

“Emerald! You don’t want to do this.” Lars warned her.

“Enough!” Emerald yelled. She tugged the librarian towards her and twisted her held wrist behind her back, making her face the crowd. The librarian winced at the tight angle Emerald held her arm. Lars looked uneasy. Shock filtered through the faces of the remaining spectators. Steven was noticeably absent.

“Turn yourself over to me, Captain Lars, or I use this Prism of yours to shatter you where you stand!”

“Good luck with that.” The librarian muttered under her breath wryly. She still didn't even know how.

“Silence. Your purpose is what I require not your commentary. Now… _Do as I say_.” Emerald’s demand was low and purposeful. Her nails dug into the librarian’s wrist cutting like half moons, demanding action. The librarian gritted her teeth under it, hackles raising as she felt an aura of green begin to drift around her field of vision.

She tried to reach for the destabilizer in the folds of her dress, fingers just falling short. Her breathing tightened, panic raising. 

The librarian cut her gaze back the Gem who already oozed superiority and said, “I don’t take orders from anyone, least of all somebody as weak as you.”

Righteous anger exploded in Emerald’s eyes, “ _What_ did you just say?”

It was a risky move but out of the corner of her eye the librarian could see a blur of pink moving. Steven was making his way around the room to her. She just needed to buy time.

“I said you’re weak. I’ve read about you. Emerald, the powerful mediator for the Diamonds during Era One and Two. You were a powerful Gem. And now in Era Three you’re reduced to leaning on a Light Prism to take out a human space pirate?”

Murmurers ran through the galley and Emerald colored darker green in embarrassment. The librarian almost would have felt guilty if she didn’t feel the Gem’s will trying to sink its teeth into her, past her defenses like a touch with spikes. The librarian’s vision blurred, tinting vibrant green. Panic, white hot and desperate bubbled free and she turned, trying to claw the Gem’s touch from her in vain.

“Let go of her. Now.” Another voice cut in with a dark edge. The hand released her, there was a shower of sparks, screaming from Emerald, and the librarian stumbled forward and straight into Steven’s chest. He was so pink he glowed.

“Are you alright?” He asked her lowly, noticing how she trembled. Unable to voice words she gave a nod. It had been close, so close. She’d started to feel anger, depths of hatred for Lars. Feelings that had not been her own.

Emerald screeched and clutched her now defunct hand weapon, tearing the sparking metal free from herself and tossing it to the ground. Released she huffed, staring at the two of them angrily. New security forces joined her and Lars backed into the center of the circle with them.

“I don’t think hiding is an option.” The librarian looked up at Steven warily with increasing awareness that combat training was going to become very relevant in three…two…one.

“I don’t think it is either. Let’s dance.” Steven told her. The first attacker lunged and the librarian felt Steven take her hand and swing her wide out of his way. Steven incapacitated him with a clear strike of his shield.

“Seriously?”

“Dancing. Fighting. They’re not dissimilar.” He explained. He walked her around him with a high hand, avoiding swipe after swipe of hands as Lars knocked them clear from the two with a steady sweep of his legs behind them.

Steven tugged her closer to him and she tottered forward on unsure feet. He held her right hand high in his own and she held up her chiffon with her left, “I’m going to get us killed.”

Lars zipped past them in the background, locking blows with Emerald once more.

“No you aren’t. Now eyes on me.” He coached her with soothing tones and she looked up, right through his white mask and right into him. His gaze was a twist of bubblegum pink and she felt herself relax in his hold. She knew Steven’s was power involved in this but… she trusted him. Honestly and completely, she trusted him.

So began the dance. Steven protected her through it all on defense as Lars bounced between taking on Emerald and taking out other security forces. Not that the librarian noticed.

Entranced and enraptured, her nerves melted away as he led her through the steps of a strange dance. She could feel it, his power burning under her touch, the curve of his shield which he held behind her, slung across the strong arm at her back.

Steven’s power felt different than Emerald’s, she realized. Where hers had felt staunch and cold, Steven’s was warm, familiar. It seeped through her skin seeming to soothe anything Emerald had attempted to touch. She felt it thrum in his fingertips as he sent showers of pink shards behind her, pinning assailants to the wall like daggers. All the while they circled and twirled as if on air. Her head felt clouded.

“You can’t be a good dancer too.” Her voice pitched, tone heightening to strangled as she felt his magic twine around her, “Really not fair given the circumstances.”

Steven’s gaze cut from over her shoulder to her features at her tone, corners of his mouth lifting in a grin, “People only think the waltz is difficult because they’re never getting anywhere. It’s always one step forward and two steps back.”

She groaned at the joke, smile threatening to break. The steps grew more rapid and he dipped her low, avoiding another attacker swipe. He fixed her with debonair grin and waggled his eyebrows at her at the dramatic move.

It started quiet and slowly built in volume, the sounds of her laughter making him relax. His eyes wavered from pastel pink into brown, his own laughter starting. The librarian quickly found she was unable to stop and delirious happiness sunk into him down to his gem. He bumped her nose with his, wanting so badly to kiss her but knowing that was a step too far given their environment.

Her eyes met his and he spun her out from his grasp, feeling elated. She gasped, smile wide, as he twirled her back to him.

And in her perfect, incandescent happiness the librarian began to glow.

It was a beautiful light, like the kind that filtered through a window on a sunny morning clear. Enemies seemed a distant memory. He was dancing with her in earnest now, all of her seeming to sparkle in a full spectrum of color as her dress swirled around his legs and they turned and spun. It was pure joy, pure happiness.

The glow grew, mixed with pink that not even Steven’s tux could stifle.

She was so in tune, so in sync with him. Surely she knew… Surely she could feel the way he…

He was so in tune, so in sync with her. Surely he knew… Surely he could feel the way she…

There was that smile on both of their faces and then…

_Yes!_

The remaining spectators gasped, the room bright, dazzling in the multi-shaded rose hue followed by white light that flooded the library.

The amorphous bright light danced and turned. Steven’s gem twisted in the shapeless mass and then the experience of the librarian and Steven Universe paused.

And the experience of Crystal Quartz began.

* * *

Crystal Quartz came in to being at 21:02 Federation Standard Time at the Federation for Intergalactic Knowledge, Galactic Coordinates 17h 45.6m. She was approximately eight foot tall, her weight a dangerous number to ask and best remained unknown.

She took a look down at herself, hugging her own shoulders with her top two arms.

She had six after all.

She was in a strapless dress that was purple and pink, wrapping around her curvaceous form like a toga. Standing tall, her hair trailed down her back much like the librarian’s except it was now just as curly as Steven’s and bubblegum pink. A clear crystal prism set in her chest and Steven’s pink stone was revealed on her left thigh through the high slit on her dress. She felt like a model. She felt like a powerhouse.

_We’re incredible. We’re beautiful. We can do anything like this._

_What happened to me? We’re…we._

“It seems we’ve fused.” Crystal Quartz explained aloud, in a dry reedy tilt, and pandemonium erupted. She was too busy marveling at the sound of her new voice.

There were screams and running for the exit by the aliens of smaller stature who felt imminent bodily harm was possible from the giant woman that stood in the atrium. The stampede carried away Copper in the surge who was ranting and raving about thievery all the while.

“You!” There was a dangerous threat in the voice at her back and the fusion turned, hair and dress twining around her. Emerald pushed a bookcase off herself and stood up, “Who the hell are you and what have you done with the Light Prism?"

Part of her felt greatly amused by her own answer as she gave it, “She’s in here somewhere.”

Who was Crystal Quartz? Was she snarky? Was she shy?

She didn’t know. But she couldn’t wait to find out.

“She ate it!” Someone wailed out.

“What? No! I didn’t eat her!” Crystal Quartz protested, offended.

“Attention, mysterious Gem! You currently house the property of the great and powerful Yellow Diamond. Please unfuse at once and hand it over.” The nasally voice of Yellow Diamond’s Pearl announced, staring up at Crystal Quartz with an almost bored expression.

“I _what_?” Crystal Quartz asked flatly, taken aback.

There was layers to unpack about Yellow Pearl’s statement starting with…

“Lars!” Crystal Quartz bellowed and the space Captain popped up across the atrium from Emerald.

“Uh… Yeah.” Lars mentioned, rubbing the back of his head, bashfully, “About that. The bid window just closed. I checked the account and well… Yellow Diamond won the auction for the Light Prism.”

Yellow Diamond…. Yellow had bid. Yellow Diamond had won.

_Hey now it’s okay. It doesn’t matter. I’m not actually going with Yellow. Someone had to win._

Rage filled her and she turned, unable to find an outlet for it. She didn’t want to be here.

_So let’s blow this Popsicle stand._

Her attention fixed on the large glass bay window on the second floor. She could feel power in her anger, flooding and overwhelming her senses, practically like an endless blocked well. She directed it in her mind, trying to build runoffs and streams yet she could still feel it threatening to explode.

_There’s so much power. So much of it. Is this how you feel all the time?_

She could feel experience, that part of her Steven, as she sorted through her power and guided channeling the well within her. They gave the blockage a poke. Crystal Quartz waved two of her hands and there was a violent burst of what appeared to be pink crystal spikes. She wasn’t able to hide her open wonder at seeing it appear.

It had felt so good to wield.

It had felt so bad to wield.

“Stop her!” Copper yelled.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

At the demonstration of her power a shudder ran through her body. Crystal Quartz stumbled and tripped, fumbling over her own two feet as she scaled the pink crystal spikes to the second floor.

She felt unstable, half of her panicking at the sensations of power flowing through her body.

She reached the second level and split apart in a burst of light right as she tumbled over the bannister.

* * *

  
The librarian fell out of the burst of light as Crystal Quartz ebbed away.

Steven Universe was next to her, shaking and completely pink.

“Steven, are you alright?” She asked. He looked up at her with burning pupils.

Surprisingly he still looked unsettled, a bit dazed. He barely seemed to focus on her.

“Fine. Don’t worry about me…” The librarian ducked under his arm anyway, letting it drape across her shoulders as she pulled him to his feet. He felt hyperaware of her, how she felt against him. He was always disoriented after fusion but mixed into that scramble of thoughts was something new.

The librarian could hear the pandemonium on the floors below.

“Can you stand? We need to get out of here.” She looked around distractedly for an escape route, some type of exit strategy. The plan for the heist had not included fusion. They were making this up as they went now.

Steven looked dazed as she stared at him. His pupils were geometric shaped, his skin pink. He’d started to bulk up again.

She gripped Steven’s jaw and forced him to look at her, “Steven, snap out of it! They’re going to take me away from you, do you understand? _We need to leave_.”

His gaze intensified at this, a sense of focus returning as the words her lips had formed reached him. The footfalls grew closer. Anger swelled in him at the unthinkable threat she explained to him, thrumming in his blood. Take her. They were going to take her.

Steven threw his hand out, forcing a sturdy barrier in both directions that pushed Emerald, Copper, Yellow Pearl and others back, double honeycomb walls of pink. Effectively, this cut off both sides of escape though for them, the path to their left and right blocked now.

In front of him the librarian paced. Her thoughts ran like a rat in a maze as Steven struggled with himself and the barrier. There was _nothing_ around them. Only books and bookcases and windows and-

Oh no. She knew a way.

And as a librarian, she hated herself for it already.

She stared up at the towering bookcase in front of her and sighed mournfully.

“What are you doing?” He asked, watching as she began ramming her shoulder into the nearest case.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” The librarian half whimpered, trying not to think about the hundreds of years of knowledge contained on the shelves. She rammed the shelf again and it began to waver, books tumbling off in clatters. The case was bolted to the floor but it rocked, refusing to break loose.

“Move.” Steven stated darkly. She scuttled out of the way as a spiked wall of pink slammed into the bookcase. The window cracked, break spidering, then shattered as the bookcase fell through it, books tumbling down into nothingness.

Before she could even register it, Steven had dropped his barriers and jumped into her. He tackled her through the glass, the two of them stumbling down the bookcase platform hand in hand before hurling themselves over the edge.

They floated more than fell and Steven summoned his pink shield underneath their feet.

“Hold on!” Steven shouted and she wrapped herself around the back of him. He shuddered.

Gravity returned and they plummeted down, using his shield to surf the expanse of thick cables that hooked up to the floating library. They left a trail of sparks in their wake, gaining speed thanks to the intense dips and plummets of the cabling.

“This was not the plan!” The librarian screeched, clinging to his back like a panicked koala.

Ahead drones shone spotlights on them, an alarm blaring, “Halt, you are in the possession of stolen property.”

“That was fast.” Steven stated, equal parts impressed and annoyed. He sent a hail of magenta diamond shards in the direction of the drones, knocking them clear of the cables.

The librarian ducked behind him, avoiding a face full of sparks and magic.

Path cleared, they sped through on his shield, picking up speed.

“Where are we going?” The librarian shouted. “The _Manifest Destiny_?”

“Not yet. Now that we’re free we can follow the rest of the plan. Lars set me up with a ship. He’s going to insist on getting the money from Yellow and we’re going to rendezvous with him at a set coordinate when it’s safe.” He answered her.

She had little time to process this however.

“Steven…” Fear permeated her tone, seeing the complicated series of twists in the cables ahead of them.

“No, no, no, nooo!” She half begged him, half warned him, despite no alternative existing.

“Hold on tight. I’ve got you.” He assured her as he leaned forward, sending them plummeting over the edge of a particular peak and down into the series of loops. She screamed, hair whipping around her and battering her in the face as she let Steven direct them into a series of coordinated leans. She felt sick, sights rushing by her in a blur of colors but she buried her face between Steven’s shoulder blades and held on for dear life.

Suddenly, she realized they were running out of cables. What was even more concerning was the collection of drone bots lying in wait, floodlights aimed at them.

“What do we do now?” She shouted, peering up and around him with eyes wide.

It was the end of the line.

“We’re going jump.” Steven stated, grin rising. She looked back at him in panic and realized he was serious. “Remember when we first met?” He asked, excitement palpable.

“Oh _stars_.” She cursed, closing her eyes. Steven slammed his foot down on the front of the shield, a shower of sparks emitting as it flung the two of them up airborne and forward.

It had been since their first meeting that they floated together but they moved simultaneously just the same. He never let go of her hand as they skipped across the top of the domed tops of the drones like stepping stones on a stream. They were nearing the end when she heard the charge up of a weapon.

“Watch-“ She barely had a warning out before he turned, moving so fast his barrier was only a streak like paint on an easel. He reflected the beam.

He let go of her to release a deluge of pink shard projectiles and she felt her gravity returning.

“Steven!” The scream was caught in her throat, she could hear him yelling her name.

She tumbled in mid air, helplessness sinking in when she followed the well within her. She kicked at the blockage again and there was tingling at her fingertips just as Crystal Quartz had felt. A crystal spear materialized in her hands. She’d done it!

She was falling past a drone and frantically she thrust forward. Relief flooded her when the spear hung up into the grooves of metal work on the body. She hung from the spear handle like it was monkey bars, feet kicking in the air.

She looked down and immediately felt sick when she couldn’t see a bottom. She was several hundred feet above an abyss of nothingness and suddenly very aware she was terrible at pull ups.

Overhead she could see Steven fighting the drones, a sling of a shield, a shower of pink projectiles. The drone she pierced powered down and also began to fall. Another bot shot its claw arms out at her and she lifted her legs, narrowly avoiding the grab.

She let go of the spear and dropped onto the top of the metal arms. She screamed, as it whipped her through the air to shake her off. She clung to it, realizing it was raising her higher. She streaked upwards on it past Steven and she realized she was going to have to do something stupid. But she knew, without a doubt, he’d meet her half way.

“Steven!”

She let go. She dropped, free falling, arms extended.

Steven’s eyes widened and he hurled a projectile past her, spearing through the last bot above her. He fumbled and stumbled, desperate to reach her.

“I’ve got you!” He caught her, grabbing her outreached hand tight into his and pulling. They twisted like skydivers for a moment from her momentum before he brought her gravity under his sense of control once more. She clung to him and they plummeted towards the ground.

Steven slowed their descent gradually until it became an ethereal float just above solid ground.

The two of them clung to each other, clasped tight.

“Don’t… do that again. That was dangerous.” He exhaled, trembling slightly. He hid his face from her in her hair.

The librarian gave a brittle smile, “I knew you’d catch me.”

Their feet delicately touched pavement and Steven exhaled. She gave him a look filled with so much open trust that he felt sick. He broke her gaze and took off in a run, tugging her along by the hand.

“Come on, we’re almost to the docks.” He ground out, eyes burning pink.

“Are you alright?” She asked him worriedly.

“Fine. Fine.” He insisted testily and they skidded to a halt in the face of more bots.

“You are in possession of stolen property! Your apprehension is imminent.” The bots chorused.

There were so many. The librarian looked at Steven who released her hand long enough for his fists to glow pink.

The librarian shut her eyes and delved deep, taking another kick at the blocked well within her. It was on its last legs and she could feel that tingling in her fingers once more. She reached out and gripped…a crystal sling shot.

“Oh come on!” She huffed.

Steven was already off and fighting, throwing his shield and cleaving a bot in half. It dissipated, returning to him and he used it in a half turn to clothesline another bot in two. He blocked a clawed hand speared attempt, knocking it aside before punching clear through the offensive bot. He turned, using his shield almost as a wedged weapon to bash the top of another bot in. Still more loomed.

“Here goes literally nothing.” The librarian grumbled under her breath, drawing the empty slingshot back. Out of her field of vision around the sling cradle, crystal light began to shimmer, vortex whirling around her as she charged the shot.

She used her stance from _Alien Invaders_ at the arcade, one eye closing as she narrowed in on a bot looming overhead of Steven. She released the sling and light exploded from her shot, shooting through every drone bot in the sky at once.

“Oh.” She stated dumbly, stunned a bit at the kaleidoscope of light she’d just created. She wavered a bit on her feet feeling like she’d just worked the busiest twelve hour shift of her life with no break.

Ahead of her though, Steven was on his hands and knees and _that_ pushed her on.

“Steven!” She shouted, running to his side. She placed a hand on his back and Diamond pupils looked up at her.

“Are you hurt?” She asked him. “I didn’t shoot you, did I?”

He was struggling against something, for breath, looking at her like a deer in headlights.

He shook his head a bit, eyes closing, “No. I’m fine.”

“Then what’s-“

“Come on.” He interrupted her, stumbling to his feet and grabbing her hand in his once more. He tugged her along, ducking into ally ways and keeping them moving. Behind him the librarian’s brows furrowed in concern.

They reached the docks in short order, Steven’s eyes scanning the docking numbers as he hurried her along. He paused in front of a nondescript berthing, the Era 3 ship resembling the one from their first date.

“It’s this one.” He stated and he ushered her up to it. He tapped a series of numbers into the data pad and there was a hiss of depressurizing steam, the gang plank extended and the door opened. He rushed inside, tugging her along and he slammed the entryway closed behind them.

Inside the safety of the ship he crumbled to his knees again in the entry way, trembling.

“Oh stars… What’s wrong?” She asked him worriedly.

“Nothing.” Steven insisted through his teeth, struggling to get to his feet.

“Are you sure you're not hurt?” She asked again.

“No! Stay back.” He insisted, the muscles in his back trembling. She was at his side now, in the powered down blue glow and under lighting of the space ship.

What was wrong with him? Why was he acting this way?

“Stop it.” She said quietly.

At the command he looked up at her, gritting his teeth. He was surprised to see the hurt in her face, “You’re shutting me out.”

“I’m not-”

“You are. You’re on the floor right now and you’re shaking. Do not lie to me and tell me it’s nothing when it’s clearly something.” Steven clenched his eyes shut and looked away from her, a verifiable fortress.

She’d seen him fight before, although only as Pink Diamond and not as himself. But he’d been struggling earlier than when the bots first appeared. She racked her brain trying to think.

The only thing new had been…

_Oh. Oh no._

“It’s my fault, isn’t it? It’s how you’re reacting to me accessing my powers.” She realized, pieces falling into place. She reached out and touched him, fingertips soft on his shoulder.

In an instant he snapped fully pink, Diamond pupils staring at her.

Whatever internal war Steven had been waging, it was clear the Diamond had won and his lips curled, positively predatorily. His whole demeanor shifted. The librarian’s eyes widened.

“You always were so clever.” Pink Diamond complimented her.

“Pink Diamond.” She breathed out, wary. 

“Hello, Stardust. It’s been a while."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuses this chapter is late and the next likely will be too: My birthday (oh god 30 is looming), general USA anxiety as I live in real-life Delmarva, specifically the DC area. I also have big girl job and it makes me very stressed (imposter spotted!). 
> 
> Further notes: I listened to a lot of electroswing writing this, specifically Caravan Palace. It may show. Princess Bunny Space Soldier and Tuxedo Knight are a call back to an earlier chapter as well as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. Crystal Quartz is inspired by Kaihoun fan art of the temple fusion Obsidian (http://su.reactor.cc/post/2184035) but has some mods. The librarian's dress exists only in my head which I am sad about. 
> 
> I love you all and thanks for sticking around xoxo


	14. Lars of the Stars, Part IV

Pink Diamond stared across the bridge at his stubborn, infuriating subject. If all subjects were this vexing he was grateful to only have the one.

He could sense her nervousness, watching the knot in her throat bob as she swallowed. He straightened, rising from his spot on the floor. She took a step back and his grin slid into a smirk, taking a step forward. Like predator and prey they eyed each other, waiting for the other to give away their intentions. A move either direction, a tell of intent. Each acutely tuned in to the other in a battle of perception.

The librarian broke stalemate first, “Last time we spoke you were sneaking into my dreams.”

She seemed tense and afraid of him, backing into the center of the ship with careful footsteps and rounding the center console. It was a weak effort to keep something, anything, between them. As if it would offer her any armor in the face of his shrewd pink gaze.

Pink Diamond enjoyed healthy respect, all he was due as a Diamond. But fear? And from her? This simply would not do.

He ran his hand back through his poofed pink curls with a deep sigh, a pronounced show of relaxation. She continued to eye him across the command console, wary but wavering.

“Sneaking sounds undignified and unwelcome. If I recall you quite enjoyed my presence, Stardust.” He stared down his nose at her, Diamond pupils twinkling with mirth at the accusation. The corner of his mouth lifted knowingly as red flushed traitorously down her neck.

He could see her ire explode, hackles raised.

“It was unwelcome! You never asked permission! You…” Words failed her, “You creep!” She accused finally, arms crossing self consciously over her chest as she fought to keep her cheeks from blushing too dark.

Pink Diamond was a taller, pinker, broader version of her own boyfriend. It was natural, she told herself bitterly, that she found him very attractive. It was all very unfair. The wide shoulders, the large biceps, how he seemed to dwarf her all in ways that was acutely confident male.

But that attitude…

It was the second side of the coin.

She’d almost forgotten about how conceited Pink Diamond was.

For his part however, amusement flickered clear, “Oh, so Steven is forgiven but I’m not?”

There was a pouting tilt to his voice, a tone of faux hurt arising.

A game.

He saw everything between them, her feelings, her fealty, her free will as nothing more than a game.

Anger burned in her cheeks, hot and glowing.

“ _Steven_ was apologetic and not an arrogant ass about it, so yeah, I think he is.” She ground out, her fists clenching. She really had forgiven Steven for it. But the indifferent way Pink Diamond seemed to treat it, treat her, pissed her off anew.

Pink Diamond smiled at this, a lazy grin that boiled her blood in more ways than one, “Hm, I remember exactly how Steven _apologized_.”

The librarian’s flush grew traitorously darker. Looming behind the console, he leaned forward, palms stretching flat across it. Her eyes lingered on his hands for a moment too long.

She remembered too.

Pink Diamond’s gaze dragged down her body, bold and blatant. She stood clothed in her evening gown but he made her feel as bare as if she wore nothing at all.

“I’d be more than happy to do the same. All you have to do is beg for it.” He stated loftily, surveying his nail beds with an air of indifference.

In the face of his cavalier attitude, the librarian sped past pink and saw red, “ _Beg_ _you_ to apologize? For something you did wrong? You must be joking.”

Her scoff was enough to put a crack in his facade, expression falling for a moment before he recovered. He noticed the way she trembled and he leaned back to his side of the console, demeanor once again lofty. A knowing chuckle sounded from him. It was obvious, he decided, her overwhelming desire for him.

“I’m a Diamond, sweetheart. You should be grateful I’m willing to concede at all.”

What he perceived as trembling maidenhood was in reality, burning anger.

The librarian kept her hands in fists otherwise she was fairly certain they’d wrap around his throat on their own accord to strangle him.

“Grateful?” She breathed in disbelief, “Oh my god… You _arrogant_ -”

Pink Diamond sucked his teeth, tutting at her.

“Now, now. That isn’t very sporting. What happened to that earnest little speech you gave Steven? You know, about how you’d convince me to help you.” He was grinning at her now, positively wolfish as he watched her cheeks flush, expression heated and glowering.

“I don’t have to be sporting or very convincing right now. It’s _just as much_ in your own self interest to get off this planet as it is mine.” She pointed out hotly through clenched teeth.

“Hmm... Maybe, maybe not.”

Her mouth fell open.

“It’s not quite as pressing, I think, for me. I like _my_ odds.” Pink Diamond countered dismissively, stretching up to pop his spine, hands overhead as he gripped his elbows. The display of biceps was a low move, in the librarian’s opinion. He released his stretch, relaxing as if to say their whole situation was beneath him.

“I’d like to see them try to do much of _anything_ to me. For one… Diamond.” He gave grand gesturing to himself with a turn of a hand. “For two, the diplomatic optics aren’t great. Can you say the same about yourself?” He posed the question with an air of innocence not matched by his smile.

It was a forgone conclusion of course, that he’d help his subject. But he was enjoying this game of theirs, his freedom outside of Steven. He wanted to hear her beg for him. For his help, his protection, his touch as Pink Diamond.

The librarian only snorted.

“It _is_ crowded in here between me, you, and your giant ego. Maybe I should take my chances with Copper or Yellow Diamond.” She stated primly, making for the door.

Pink Diamond lunged, a blur of rose hue as he streaked in front of her.

He seems to growl, blocking the door, eyes lit with fury.

“ _Don’t_.” He warned her with heavy breath, “Don’t toy with me, little subject.”

Her heart thundered in her chest as she stared at him, wide eyed. Nothing was between them now other than her rapidly disappearing personal space. He shook, his words twinged with disdain as he continued with a huff, “They are beneath you.”

The librarian slid her gaze over him carefully, a tilt of her head and a distrustful squint, “No. They’re equal. Equal life-forms. Steven tells the Diamonds that. If you were really him you’d know that.”

“I am Steven!” Pink Diamond shouted, losing his composure momentarily. There was a rush of an explosion of pink, air that blew her back. Her feet skidded on metal but she kept her footing tossing and arm up. He panted, regaining himself.

Stunned she shrank back for a moment, expression wide eyed.

Pink Diamond noticed this shift and rage boiled within him. Why? Why was she always afraid of him? Frustrated, he tore his hands back through his hair and paced, “Steven is still here! I’m just in charge. What part of that do you not get?”

She was starting to get that very clearly.

“What do you want?” She asked him coldly.

At her question, Pink Diamond froze his pacing, eyes settling on her once more. She was looking at him as if he was her enemy, some invader. He strode towards her purposefully, gait deliberate, pace slow.

He stepped closer to her and she made no move to retreat, standing her ground. That impressive will of hers kept her spine straight as she tipped her chin back to stare up at him.

He leaned down a bit, tone quieter and modest, “Only what’s mine.”

The hair raised on the back of her neck raised as he amended, “Starting with you.”

“Why is everyone so set on me belonging to someone? I don’t _have_ to belong to anyone.” She pointed out, a sullenness in her words as she stared up at him. He reached out, hand large just beneath her chin. She flinched, eyes flickering.

He felt a pang of hurt at her fear, but did not retract his hand. She stayed still and he pushed on, surprised when she let him touch her, fingertips curling along her jaw. Her eyes met his, blazing, defiant.

“You’re a Light Prism. You’re made to belong to a Diamond.” His words were a murmur now.

The _to me_ hung between them unsaid, heavily implied.

The fingers at her jaw were stroking the edge carefully, like that of a giant to something fragile. He continued the motion, sensation lulling as he spoke to her careful and slow, “Didn’t you feel it when we fused? How it felt to have me as a conduit for all that power of yours?”

The memory of the sensation was enticing. The librarian nearly shuddered at the reminder.

Crystal Quartz had been an experience of assuredness, of confidence. She’d quickly found her own power, one that she struggled with as herself. Perhaps most maddening was the companionship, how it had felt to twist her consciousness against Steven’s in a way that felt beautiful, cherished, and safe.

“It was nice.” She admitted reluctantly to him, wary but softening.

“You don’t have to be Crystal Quartz to feel that way.” Pink Diamond coaxed her, “Give yourself to me.”

There was a glimpse of vulnerability in her now as she failed to meet his gaze, “Why do you want fealty from me? Why don’t you just want fusion?”

A flurry of insecurity whirled within her like a gust of wind, pushing it to the surface momentarily. Why did he want her at all?

_Because you are enough._ That had been Steven’s answer.

The fingertips at her jaw pushed upwards, drawing her gaze to the conviction in his own,“Because I still want to be myself. But I want to have you. If you give me fealty, it creates a bond. Everyone will know you’re mine. And as you are now, you invite chaos into the universe by fighting your rightful place.”

“So that’s it then. You just want the universe to be in order?” She asked bitterly, dismayed with the acute disappointment she felt within her. This was all because of what she was not who.

“No.” He said in warning, watching crestfallen emotions flit across her features, “I want _you_.”

She seemed to stop breathing. He pressed onwards, invading her personal space as she tried to step back. But he held her now, tight around the elbows,“I want to have you in every way you can possibly be had. I want all of you, every piece, every word, every breath.”

“But _why_?” She insisted again, mesmerized.

“Because there is no one else!” His voice rose in volume, “There is only you.”

It was a hell of a speech and she wavered in the face of it. Earnest. He looked so earnest.

He pressed on, “With you by my side, I’ll have the Diamonds respect. The universe will submit to me, starting with you.”

So close. He’d been so, so close.

Anger burned through her, at herself, for being swayed by his words. The choice he expected her to make was twofold as she saw it - fealty or fusion. He still got to be himself through fealty. But either way, she did not.

Not to mention… The universe was not his to rule.

That was unacceptable. That was not Steven. That was Diamond.

She narrowed her eyes, “You cannot just order people to submit to you.”

His hand dropped away from her, voice low and stern, “Power says otherwise. And you my dear, are powerful.”

“I’m not-“ She began with a broken protest filled laugh.

He shook his head, finger covering her lips.

“I beg to differ.” Pink Diamond stated, amused grin appearing. “After all, you have my interest.”

As if it was a great boon. She swallowed thickly.

“So Stardust, what’ll it be?”

She’d never seen a being this confident in all her years. It boggled the mind.

“I’m _not_ subjugating myself to you. Get me off this planet.” Her words were low and ominous.

Pink Diamond sighed, disappointed, but not down for the count, “Stubborn. You are so stubborn yet you accuse me of arrogance.”

She let out an incredulous laugh, staring at him and he circled around her, “I’ll take a close second. Ask me nicely to help you.”

She debated leaving again but she knew that was an empty bluff. So she grit her teeth, swallowed her pride, and huffed, “Fine. _Please_ get me off this planet.”

Pink Diamond grinned at her, eyes sparkling as he leaned forward a bit, “I know Pearl gave you Gem texts. That’s not how you ask a Diamond for a boon.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open, a comical expression of shock before she recovered, “You can’t be serious. We really don’t have time for-”

“We would if you’d quit stalling!” Pink Diamond pointed out in a sing-song tone, breezing past her and towards the captain’s chair.

She fought to stifle a scream. How were her boyfriend and Pink Diamond even the same person?

Frustrated, she strode forward and tried hard to focus on Steven. She could get through this if she focused on him.

Pink Diamond had ended up standing near the captain’s chair in all this and for a moment he thought she’d lunge at him but she didn’t.

He watched her abruptly drop to her knees, spine arching as her forehead met the ground. She stretched her arms out in front of her, palms together and elbows bowed out slightly. The space above her head between her arms and hands took on the point of a diamond, the symbolism strong in the gesture.

Pink Diamond’s eyes widened. If he was honest, he’d only asked her as a joke. He half expected her to tell him to kick rocks. Yet here she was. He eyed the way the rivulets of her hair flowed down her prostrated back, over the metal floor. There was an elegant curve to her spine like this, an artistic beauty in her submission, that he found that he liked.

And then he heard it, the beguiling lilt of her plea in Gemspeak. It was a gentle sound, a hopeful song so earnest that it pained him:

> _Your eminence, your Radiance_  
>  _My everlasting shining Diamond -_  
>  _Your song a comfort to my ears_  
>  _With strength to erase all fears_  
>  _Please grant me this one favor._

The tones of her hum hung in the air but prostrated on the floor it was so quiet. She thought Pink Diamond might laugh at her, at her human accent. She probably missed a word. Embarrassed she stayed put, the prolonged bow a show of respect but also covering her humiliation. She was almost afraid. Why did she care so much that she did this right?

Footsteps, measured purposeful footsteps, seemed to echo with power around her. She stayed as she was, painfully aware of her breaths, of the cold metal of the floor beneath her. And then she felt it, an agonizingly slow skim of the pads of his fingers tracing up the curve of her spine. They came to rest just under her hair to the nape of her neck. And then they fanned out through her hair, letting the curls fall around her.

“Beautiful.” He said finally and her head raised cautiously.

She went to move and Pink Diamond smirked, “No. You know that’s not how this works. You only move when I say my decision.”

Instantly she snapped back, a tightness restored. He stroked her hair for a moment longer, another three passes of hands before he stood. The steps sounded, echoing in her ear once more as he wandered his way to the Captain’s seat, feigning disinterest over his subject’s display. He settled himself into the seat, the broad expanse of the arms appearing almost like a throne. He looked every bit the royal as he looked her over.

“And have you?” She asked, trying to keep her frustration unapparent, “Made a decision?”

Pink Diamond leaned his head to the side, chin in hand as he eyed her, “Use my title.”

The librarian inhaled sharply, knowing how the title affected Steven.

Would it affect Pink Diamond?

“Have you made a decision, My Diamond?” She corrected herself with a hint of grit.

The title was an elixir or pleasure and torture. Pink Diamond shifted, doing his best to hide just how obvious his enjoyment of her display was. It was the ghost of a fantasy. He’d dress her in his colors, an endless wardrobe of pink and magenta. Shower her in jewelry and collars of rose diamonds and bring his pet with him to court. End the tiresome discussions and diplomacy and usher in a new age of order where he could finally rest. In the night she’d sing to him in Gemspeak, relax him until-

There was an abrupt slam on the outside of the hull that jolted both from their positions, the librarian nearly jumping a foot off the ground, head popped up fully now. They could see it, the metal arms of a bot as it scuttled over the windshield like a spider.

“We should be going.” Pink Diamond observed rapidly, gaze following the bot.

The librarian’s mouth fell open than closed as she grasped for words, incredulous, “That’s it? You’ll help me?”

Incredibly, the Diamond blushed, a dark pink hue to his cheeks as he resolutely turned his head away from her, huffing indignantly “Of course I was going to help you.”

She wanted with everything to chuck something at him. Spoiled, haughty-

“What do you mean, _of course_? Did you seriously know this whole time and still make me-” She asked furiously, spine unlocking as she pushed herself up to stare up at him from her spot in front of his feet, scrambling across metal as the banging continued.

He scoffed, “As if I could make you do anything, Stardust. Although, for a human, your form was exceptional.”

She glared at him, glower struggling as she bumped against the foot of his chair, “Backhanded compliment. Real nice.”

“You’re reading too far into it. Not everything I say is meant to insult.” He grumbled with a huff, eyes following further bots as they began to bang at the glass.

“I know. You just have terrible human skills, for a half human.” She quipped.

It was his turn to bluster, offense deep but she pressed onwards.

“Can you even pilot us out of here?” She asked, at his side now and watching the bots swarm with morbid fascination. He watched with a sense of pride as she seemed to unconsciously drift closer to him into his personal space. She was nearly bumping against his knees now.

His eyes narrowed down at her, burning at the perceived challenge, “ _That_ is insulting. I am an incredible pilot and-”

The librarian rolled her eyes, popping up to her feet. She swung around to face with and pointed down to the console, “With those dinky controls? No way.”

Faced with the controls, the sea of tiny buttons and levers he glowered. In this form, he edged seven foot, with the massive hands to match. Unfortunately, the controls were incredibly small by giant man standards.

The pounding on the hull continued and the librarian tried not to smirk at his expression. This did impact her safety but it was amusing to picture the giant Diamond attempt to operate what amounted to baby controls.

If he had been thrown off his game however, the youngest member of the Diamond Authority recovered quickly.

“You’ll just have to be my hands.” Pink Diamond grinned, an amused expression began to crest, as he watched her glee be wiped clean. The corners of his mouth raised into a wolfish smile and he patted the top of his knee, “Come here, Stardust.”

“Ohhhh no. No. No way. Get up first.” She countered warily, attempting to backpedal out of reach. He chuckled, amused. With his long arms, he reached out and caught her easily, pulling her in to the small seat space between the massive bricks of his thighs.

“Let me up, you oaf.” She demanded, squirming slightly at his front. His hands settled, grasping her right around the top of her hips, keeping her firmly in place despite her squirming. His hands were so large his fingers nearly encircled them totally. He leaned forward and nipped slightly at her earlobe in scolding.

Instantly her breath sucked from her lungs, her back ramrod straight. She heard his breathy chuckle at her back, was acutely aware of him.

“No. Now flip that lever. Third from the left. Along with the two the row above that.” He murmured against the skin of her neck, just behind her right ear. She could feel him hovering there. Her skin prickled with gooseflesh. She scowled but followed his instructions. Her back felt impossibly hot, Pink Diamond’s presence practically dwarfing her.

The ship began to power up and, with exhilaration, she realized he was teaching her how to fly.

“Good. Now type in the following numbers on that pad.” He began reciting a string of numbers and she swallowed, trying to not mis-type as her fingers shook slightly. His grip on her hips lessened as he realized she wasn’t going to bolt, his thumbs rubbing upwards in slow, firm strokes against either side of her spine. She exhaled hard through her nose in response.

He watched as her shoulders lowered, tenseness receding as she settled into the captain’s seat and to him. She was lovely in her concentration, in his lap and following his instructions.

“Now’s the fun part.” He warned her, “Hit those top three buttons and then press up on the throttle.”

Suddenly they were moving, disengaged from the dock. Below them the bots were scrambling, warnings blaring. He placed his hand over hers, fingers lightly directing her smaller hand to steer on a trackball of light.

They were maneuvering their way out of the berth, avoiding other crafts as they edged into a flow of traffic. Bots scrambled, falling off the glass dome.

“Oh stars we’re actually flying.” She breathed, stars large in her eyes.

Her happiness pleased him, he realized and he smiled a bit, quick to praise her.

“You’re doing well, darling. Once you start doing as you’re told.” He stated with a sly smile, unable to resist. He couldn’t see her face but he knew she was scowling. She attempted to elbow him but lacked the space, frowning fully at the ineffectiveness of the gesture. He hooked his forearm around her waist, keeping her in place with one arm as he helped her steer with the other.

“I'm ignoring that. I am flying. You are not going to ruin this for me, Diamond.”

“ _My_ Diamond.” He corrected her indulgently, chin on her shoulder as he squeezed her to him.

“Give it a rest.” She huffed, but smiled anyway as she stared resolutely through the windshield. Inwardly, she was a mess. She was getting to fly a spaceship, a lifelong dream.

But Pink Diamond, for all his infuriating qualities, was infinitely more tempting to her traitorous libido behind the wheel. She loathed herself for it, told herself steadfastly that she preferred her regular, considerate Steven. She could see his reflection in the glass, that infuriating little devious lift of his lips that _did things_ to her stomach.

Something slammed into the ship with enough impact to cause her to jump, startled. Pink Diamond gripped her tight in response, reassuring at her back. There was a whir and then the ship shuddered, displays crackling on impact but staying online.

All sense of amusement slipped from Pink Diamond’s features, frown developing as he checked the display readings in glyphs she could barely comprehend. Bots floated behind them on the scanner.

“Is it bad?” She asked him, gaze cutting back in a flicker from the bow.

“We’re okay. But we have more company.” He stated, brows furrowing.

“No kidding. That’s a lot of bots.” The librarian stated, staring up ahead. The flow of traffic was blocked by a sea of floating bots at least twenty strong. It was a barricade, meant to to force them to break.

“Hold on, sweetheart.” Pink Diamond murmured grimly, urging her to flip a certain lever. The craft accelerated, crushing her back against his chest. They tore through traffic lanes, weaving through spacecraft. Bots behind them tore after them. He directed her steering through it all, shrewd gaze calculating their next move and reacting.

“Oh stars. We’re gonna crash.” She warned him, wanting desperately to close her eyes.

“Reverse all of those switches.” Pink Diamond instructed her. She flipped them down quickly and the ship powered down. They dropped out of gravity, plummeting down to street level. Sparks erupted as the craft met pavement, sliding over ground and skating under the blockade of floating bots like a hockey puck.

“Flip them up again now.” He ordered and she obeyed.

The engines popped back online and they shot forward in a roar of motor.

And then they were free of the traffic.

She let out a burst of triumphant laughter, smile bright as she looked back at him. Pink Diamond felt something in him clench at her exhilaration. They were racing ahead now and he tightened his arm around her waist.

The ship whirled and from behind her she felt Pink Diamond stiffen, “That’s a Fleet of Iron.”

Pink Diamond directed her to press a button and they whirled the trackball, the ship brake activated as the craft slid to a halt parallel in front of the fleet. Their engine idled while both of them marveled.

The sight on the display ahead of them was imposing, all pointed lines and futuristic menace. The Fleet was a set of three Metal warships, designed for battle and each with the capability of decimating a planet. Any joy was immediately sucked out of the librarian.

The ship whirled, “Incoming Transmission from: Copper.”

The librarian looked back to Pink Diamond, panicked. He shifted and fished the white pointed face mask he had worn at the auction gala from his pocket. He raised it to his face and grinned at her, “Relax, Stardust. I’m still incognito. Ship, accept the call.”

Copper’s face appeared in front of them, menacing and furious, “You are in possession of property of the Metal Consortium. Hand over the Light Prism, mystery thief, or I’ll destroy you.”

Pink Diamond only raised an eyebrow, “No. Besides, I thought I stole her from the Diamond Authority. You really should check your sources again.”

Copper seethed, “The Diamond Authority is nothing in the face of the power of my Precious Metal’s Fleet. Not that a nobody thief like you would know. Who are you, anyway?”

“Mystery thief, huh?” Pink Diamond mused, “I sort of like it. What do you think?” He asked her, turning his attention to the the librarian, “The Phantom Thief? The Caped Crusader?”

“Copyright infringement.” She deadpanned.

“Light Prism!” Copper exclaimed, “You were so steadfast this evening that you belong to no one. Yet now I find you in the possession of _yet another_ pink Gem.”

“What can I say? I have a type.” The librarian shrugged. She could practically feel Pink Diamond’s grin at her back and she fought the urge to elbow him.

“Yes, what _of_ Pink Diamond? I can only assume this… ruffian is in his service.” Copper ruffled.

Pink Diamond snorted at the idea and that Copper was actually this dense.

“The Masked Thief works alone.” Pink Diamond stated with a dramatic head toss. He hadn’t channeled a character before. Steven, it seems, had some experience with the figure of Beach City wrestling known as Tiger Millionaire. But this was a new role.

His bounty sat pensive in his lap, pondering aloud, “Besides Pink Diamond is just _so bossy_.” She felt the hand on her hip tighten in warning and she smothered her impish grin, “I think I’ll hop around the galaxy with the Masked Thief and see the sights for a while.”

“You cannot run from destiny, Light Prism.” Copper’s lips curled into a smirk.

“I can try.” She grinned.

Suddenly there was another ship on the horizon, a giant floating yellow metal right arm. The palm extended and blasted Copper’s ship with a beam. He tilted, clearly blown off kilter by the blast, transmission shaky before cutting off entirely and disconnecting. One ship exploded into fire and flame.

“That’s Yellow Diamond’s ship.” Pink Diamond confirmed, both of them staring up like mice at the feet of titans in their tiny craft. Both ships were firing on each other, the remaining Fleet of Iron powering up their weapons as well.

“Well… Copper’s probably pissed. What do we do?” The librarian asked faintly, turning her head to look at Pink Diamond over the roar of their engine which began to rev.

“Run while we can.” He stated grimly, already moving her hands back towards the controls.

“How?” She asked, not disagreeing with him. The ship was moving and they shot ahead, just as the yellow hand decked a Metal ship with a closed fist.

“We warp.” He told her, guiding her through a rapid series of lever flips. There was a charging noise and she slammed her hand down on a prominent red button. Their surroundings stretched into a blur of color but she held on.

The librarian was thrown back, the strength of warp always powerful. She couldn’t help but think of her first date with Steven as her cheeks flushed rosy. He guided them into warp stream holding strong and letting her be crushed against his chest. He eyed her pink blush with illy disguised glee.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” She grumbled, peeking up at him.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.” He admitted with a smirk. She scowled to hide her smile.

The warp lessened, struck firmly by a blast to the back of the ship. Both of them looked ahead, a feed in the windshield displaying the multiple Iron ships in the warp stream behind them. At least two crafts were firing on them, causing the ship to shake.

“I guess we were too naive to think they’d all stay and fight Yellow. Isn’t that sort of a diss?” The librarian mulled aloud.

The ship lurched again, taking another hit, and Pink Diamond ran a hand through his hair in frustration. It was difficult to outmaneuver at warp, pilot skills limited.

“They’re going to knock us out of the warp stream or blow us up. We can’t keep taking hits like that.” He stated, eyes burning in fury. It was a quick flick of Diamond pupils, cataloguing the ship’s readings.

“What do we do?” She asked anxiously, “Don’t we have some kind of shields on this thing?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Pink Diamond stated, grin growing. He closed his eyes for a moment and the librarian felt something like a pulse pass through her, a ripple of pink that made her shudder. The ship was awash in a hue of pink before the color expanded out and surrounded the ship. He encased the craft in a pink bubble, brow furrowing slightly at the effort.

“Can you hold that?” The librarian asked, concern growing. He nodded tersely.

“It’s taking effort since we’re moving but… Yes.” He admitted cautiously, vision slightly unfocused. She gripped his forearm and he looked down at her, focusing on her bottom lip.

“I don’t suppose there’s any weapons on the craft either?” She asked him.

He stared at her for a moment before raising one eyebrow expectantly.

“Ah. I was afraid you were gonna say that.” Her displeasure was immediate, debate within her clear. Something did need to be done. But would she be able to do it?

“It’s not ideal.” He began cautiously, “But can you summon something?” He asked her. The librarian looked nervous now, doubt apparent. She’d been able to summon her power earlier, when they were on the run.

“Look, I’d love to say _yes_ but I’m still on slingshots, I can’t summon a laser cannon or anything helpful.”

“Well we’re going to have to think of something fast.” Pink Diamond pointed out, his barrier taking another hit. It rattled and he closed his eyes for a moment, displeased with how it wavered. He would hold it. He would keep her safe.

She closed her eyes, thinking rapidly.

“Can the hatch open in flight?” She asked him, eyes shooting open. She was moving, slipping from his lap and twisting around the console. She was headed back towards the door they came in, expression grim.

He was confused but he answered her anyway, “Normally no, but there’s an override.”

She was out of his line of vision and with difficulty he hit autopilot. He got to his feet, turning. He stood in shock while she stood in the lights of the warp stream just in front of the hatch, fingers working at the knots in the intricately designed rope work of her dress. Fabric and rope work fell away, rope beginning to coil as more and more of her skin bared.

“Not that I’m not enjoying this…” He began, voice strained and breaking, “But now is hardly the time…” He trailed, mouth dry. He eyed her, the rope and fabric remaining leaving little to the imagination.

The librarian glanced up at him as if her own lack of clothing was just aware to her and stuck her tongue out at him. She shoved a fistful of rope into his hand, “Hold this.”

She tied another end of the rope in a knot, tying it again around the banister of the center console. She tied the next part around her wrist, around her waist.

“If you make a joke about finally putting me on a leash I _will_ kick you.” She threatened him, headed towards the hatch. It took him a moment before her words clicked.

“No.” Pink Diamond told her flatly, figuring out her intent.

“Do you have a better idea?” She asked serenely, hand on hatch plating.

The barrier rattled and he winced.

“Open the hatch.” She told him.

He typed at the pad next to him a grim set of his jaw fist tightening on the rope in his hand. She’d given him one of her tethers and he did not intend to let her go. There was a final tap, a rush, and the door phased open.

She floated out of the ship. Protected from the elements of the warp stream from within Pink Diamond’s barrier she could see three craft speeding after them. They appeared to be Metal crafts from the gleam of the silver exteriors.

The librarian inhaled deeply and reached again within herself, following the path Steven had laid when they were Crystal Quartz together. She could feel it, the last vestiges of a seal, the last stone covering the well within her. She chipped away at it, wanting and hoping with everything that it could help her, could give her what she needed. She could feel it, sparkling in front of her.

A bow, minus the arrow, appeared. She opened her eyes and groaned when she saw it.

Bow and arrow against three futuristic space crafts.

Somewhere somebody in the cosmos was laughing at her.

Grumbling she grabbed the crystal handle, settling into her arcade stance. She pulled the string back, feeling power start to well behind her. It swirled, twisting air currents overhead. She recalled the slingshot and trusted that something was happening. It felt like she was charging up.

“Now!” She yelled back through the open door, not looking back. All at once the barrier around the ship dropped, and she fired. There was an explosion of light, a flutter of her hair, the zing of her arrow following a curved line, right through the hulls of all three ships behind them.

The last stone blocking her power crumbled and the floodgates opened.

This wasn't water it was _fire_.

Her power erupted from a candle flame to a blazing inferno, enveloping her and she gasped, feeling like lava had replaced blood. She was alight with power, glowing and sparkling and white as the driven snow from her hair to her eyelashes.

She felt herself being pulled, the rope at her waist tugging her backwards. Otherwise she felt powerless within her own body, pain lit up under her skin. She panted, feeling blinded. She was unable to look down, so bright was the light that seemed to burn through her chest, unfurling from ribbons of light.

“You’re glowing.” Pink Diamond pointed out helpfully and she collapsed on the floor of the spaceship. She heard the hatch rush closed in a hiss of pressure. She made no move to get up, instead curling in on herself, hands fumbling at her chest as if to try and shove the tendrils of light ribbons back inside herself.

“It hurts.” She gasped, “Stars, why does it hurt so much?”

She heard Pink Diamond swear, a rare occurrence that betrayed her situation’s seriousness, and then he was at her side. Hands gripped her now, pulling her upright. They felt cold, like ice and she hissed at the sensation.

“I can’t… You’re not wounded… There’s nothing I…” His hands ran over her shoulders and she shuddered, the pain twisting with an edge to something else.

“Help me.” She begged him weakly. “Please make it stop. Please help me.”

“I don't know how!” He despaired. She smiled through it, tears sliding down her face, sparkling in the air like crystals, suspended in motion as she flung herself into him. He felt like a block of ice compared to her and she kept her arms tight around his neck, face buried in his shoulder. She gripped him weakly, clinging to his neck with curling fingers as her body sagged and burned and blazed out of her control.

Pink Diamond always confident, always self-assured was for once helpless. And he crumbled, facade breaking and shattering with fear as he felt her power roar in his arms, light near blinding.

_Hold her, please, hold her._

He could feel his humanity, the half of him Steven Universe fighting him for all he was worth to get to her.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.” The words flowed out of his mouth, like an unconscious instinct. The Diamond felt tears in his own eyes. It was foreign and strange to comfort someone. But it was warm and reassuring too.

“Steven… It hurts.” She sobbed, clinging to him desperately.

She felt so pathetic and small.

“It’s your power, Stardust. You’re not built for it on your own. You need someone to channel it. Let me help you. Share it with me.” Pink Diamond insisted, “It’ll burn you up like this, please let me…”

She pulled back enough to look at him, able only to give a minuscule nod. Her white eyelashes drifted closed, face tilting up to his and reaching up.

He kissed her, pressing his mouth on hers. Like nudging an accelerator she felt the white flames within her flare, heat lessening as they flowed out from her and slammed straight into him. He stiffened, racked with the pure ecstasy of a power so potent it nearly made him moan. It flowed into him, like liquid fire and he clenched her so strong he worried she’d break. She broke the kiss first, the ribbons of light from her furling and wrapping around them both.

It felt like he stepped underneath a waterfall. Such was the weight of the stream of power from her, pressing into him from all over like a torrential downpour, filling him and overrunning his senses.

He shuddered, eyes burning so light pink they teetered on white and it terrified her.

His expression changed, covetous and fearsome, and all the while she could feel raw tendrils of energy and power practically brimming out of her like smoke from a cauldron. He’d started to growl, lines of white erupting over his skin like iridescent veins. He was awash in her energy, the ability to control anything in the galaxy was in hands.

Fear flooded her. She tried to pull back but he clung to her with a grip so strong it bruised.

“Enough, let go.” She gasped through the pain and the light. Her head spun, consciousness swimming.

“No! Keep giving it to me. I want it.” He insisted, his expression twisted and fierce. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her hands shaking. She nudged the outline of something with her hand as she tried once again to force the light back into her bosom and her eyes widened.

She pulled the destabilizer from the remnants of the bust line of her dress and with trembling fingers pressed the button. It roared and screeched to life in her hand and Pink Diamond jumped at the sound, slowly pulling back from her.

He gained a sense of clarity at the crackling weapon in her hand.

“Stardust… What are you doing?” He asked her, thinly veiled anger in his voice.

It felt like he had just stepped out of a fog and he struggled, feeling disoriented.

“I'm corrupting you. You can't be my conduit. It’s too much for you.” She told him with a patient sadness. She hadn’t wanted to admit it but instead of turning her power pink she had washed out his magenta color until it hovered near a shade of the lightest pastel, teetering on white.

“I’m fine. Put the destabilizer down.” He told her furiously, more angry at himself than her. She was right and it stung. He was a Diamond. If anyone should be able to handle her power, it should be him. So why couldn’t he?

“You said you wouldn’t use it.” Pink Diamond continued.

She smiled sadly, “Close. I said I wouldn’t use it on you.”

She turned the prongs toward herself and shoved them against the light in her chest before he could object.

“No!”

There was an explosion of light across the center of the ship and it blew Pink Diamond several feet away and her into the side panels of the spacecraft.

The librarian hit the floor with a sickening thud, steam rising.

The light from her dissipated and she wasn’t moving. The pain she felt before was gone, replaced with a dull ache that in comparison felt downright pleasant.

Her vision was hazy, her chest feeling like warm water was trickling out of it.

Her world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Pink Diamond is that attractive guy that knows it and _man oh man _does it make you want to sit on his face until he stops being annoying. 👀🔥 My fave fan art inspo of Pink Steven as I imagine him (https://ar.pinterest.com/pin/725361083722302346/)__  
>  Notes: The boon verse is my own creation as is the formal bow. 
> 
> Spaceship chase scene can be loosely tagged as inspired by the movie Redline with Sonoshee and JP's end race (seriously, check it out while you're waiting for my slow ass to update. A wild sci-fi space romp with a race and a romance. It also took seven years to make via hand drawn animation and the soundtrack is a certified banger).
> 
> Pilot captain horniness can be attributed to my love of the hot mess that is Han Solo's son, Kylo Ren, but like, when fanfic authors write him. Don't @ me I know he's an angsty trashcan. Til next time. xoxo


	15. Rose's Room, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is a doozy. Chapter warnings include NSFW and depression/anxiety themes. 
> 
> If you'd like a soundtrack while you read, my rec is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QltODNFwp20

Steven Universe regained consciousness with all the grace of one hit by a mack truck. Pink Diamond was gone. He was against the far wall of the spaceship, adrift in space, and his head was pounding. Gingerly he touched the back of his skull, wincing but finding no wound.

The ship was dark, the lights powered down as it floated in stasis.

Groaning, he pushed himself up on his hands and knees, consciousness swimming and twisting after his extended stint as Pink Diamond. It always left him feeling unmoored, a tangle of wants and thoughts that were both _his_ yet _not quite_ his. He could remember pieces of what had happened like it was a far away dream turned nightmare.

Power. Light so white it made his pink grow pale. Screaming.

Steven looked up, shaking his head as if to dispel the last of a troublesome fog.

That was when he saw her, the crumpled mass of the librarian’s form lying face down and prone against the opposite wall.

He yelled out her name, events rushing back with sickening clarity when he noticed the burned out destabilizer handle. The prongs were gone, blackened and smoking. He was dragging and pulling himself to move, fumbling his way across the distance between them.

Steven was gaining strength in his fear, adrenaline hot and blood rushing in his ears. She made no movement, no acknowledgement to his calling of her name. He stumbled to a stop at her side, rolling her over to face him.

His fears heightened as he pushed her dead weight, her body thumping over onto her back against his knees. His brown eyes cut wider, shaking in disbelief. Right side up, the damage was extensive. Her gala dress barely clung to her and in some places it was burned away entirely. In the center of her chest sat a stone, protruding with all the points and three dimension of a crystal pyramid.

Except it was cracked.

The light within it was fading like a desperate dying pulse, the rainbow of color muted, the light she normally blazed with dim. It sung to him in a warbled sad song. A clear line ran down it, her body from sternum to navel mottled charcoal. Her skin cracked and flaked, steam rising from it as if she’d been burned to her core.

“You’re hurt. You’re hurt really bad.” Steven realized, dread dragging down, down to an opening pit in his stomach.

He could fix this. He had to fix this.

He leaned down quickly, breath strangled in him and eyes shutting with the force of his silent plea. Lips, soft and parting as he touched them to the cracked stone with healing intent.

But there was nothing, no shimmer of pink, no magic welling within him.

He pulled back, feeling numb, the panic rising like a tsunami.

“My powers aren’t working?” He realized aloud, the implications making him nearly dissociate. He pressed a second kiss, a third, both as impotent as the one before.

The crack remained, her injuries still vast.

Steven pulled back, fear breathed ugly new life. He was twelve again and couldn’t access his powers, watching Amethyst slip away. He was sixteen and Spinel had stolen his powers with the rejuvenator as he watched Beach City slowly rot and die.

Powerless. Hapless. Useless. Just _less_.

_…_

_.._

_._

_No._

Insistent, Steven shook her shoulders, yelling her name now.

A groan. A soft groan made him pause, breath catching like hope as he watched her long eyelashes flutter, unfocused gaze raising to him.

Awake the librarian stared upwards. First at the ceiling, then at what appeared to be three Stevens. They eventually merged to form one very worried Steven. The face he was making was grim, all panic and fear. She had no idea why he was making such a terrible expression.

She opened her mouth to ask him why but the intent drifted. She was simply so _tired_.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Steven soothed her tightly. “I’ll get help.”

“Okay…” She parroted, wanting to fill the space that followed with so many questions. _Tired_. Everything in her felt heavy, so lethargic that simply breathing felt downright herculean. She could feel him bundle her into his arms, tight and cradling her to him. They were moving, what felt to her a gentle bustle of motion and to Steven clumsy and frantic.

She fell asleep for a moment, head lolling heavy against his chest.

She woke up slowly, her nose against the starched collar of his unbuttoned white dress shirt. She wanted to squeeze him to signal she was awake but her hands weren’t responding. She wasn’t able to move. Steven was still with her and holding her so tight it barely mattered. They weren’t on the spaceship anymore, she realized in a daze.

Lars and the Off Colors were crowded around them in the center of the _Manifest Destiny_. Steven’s arms looped under the back of her knees and up under her arms. He squeezed her for a moment, the tone of his voice sounding hysterical from the way it rumbled in his chest against her face. She tried to wrap her consciousness around the sound long enough to focus.

Words ran clear from nebulous distortion for a moment, her ears ringing.

Lars was squawking, also agitated, “Steven, are you _nuts_? You can’t go back to Earth right now! That’s the first place they’ll look! Yellow Diamond and the entire Fleet of Metals are looking for her!”

“I don’t care, Lars! I don’t care! I need to take her to Mom’s fountain or to the Gems! I can’t heal her. We have to go back to Earth!” Steven was screaming, his hoarse voice crackling in earnest like it always did when his emotions ran high.

The librarian was glad Lars and the Off Colors were alright after their brazen get away. She just hated hearing Steven and Lars fighting again. She tried to tell them to stop but the words seemed to drift just out of reach. She lacked the energy to chase after those words, to force them from herself.

Maybe if she slept again for just a moment…

Swimming. Her consciousness felt like it was swimming in a lucid, moving pool. She was safe with Steven. Eyes closed she felt her senses fading. She could smell him though, all lavender soap, ocean salt, and sun.

There was a pop, a shimmer of magic swirling her into consciousness once more.

She opened her hazy vision to find the world colored pink.

“Hold your breath, Stardust.” His low voice at her ear instructed soothingly and she did, wanting desperately to release it. Steven was moving through a field of wheat, the rustle of the stalks tranquil despite his fast pace and quick beat footsteps. They were coming up on a tree, a tall oak surrounded by a chest and a painting of Rose Quartz.

She couldn’t hold it. She lost her breath, blackness overtaking her immediately.

It was strange.

She knew inherently that something was wrong, an insistent nagging at her instinct. Panic would be the natural response. And yet she was as calm as when there was a thunderstorm just outside her door. Her head on Steven’s chest, her body wedged cumbersomely between him and his guitar as he sang and strummed with the thunder, rain, and roaring sea his accompaniment. Lazy acceptance filled her of things she could not change.

Again she woke with a gasp, cloying for air. Breath latched onto, she took several more, relaxing despite the yelling, this time from the Crystal Gems. Steven still held her, grip just as strong, just as sure as the previous times.

But this time it felt like voices were drifting to her from far away across a sea.

“What happened to her?” Pearl sounded hysterical, voice warbling, a blur of blonde and blue.

“She’s dying.” Steven was shaking now, “I can’t heal her. An entire Metal Fleet and Yellow Diamond are coming for her. Garnet, what do I do?”

The librarian could feel another hand cupping her cheek, thumb brushing along her face. It felt cold and lethargically she turned her face into it, desperate for the soothing ice it seemed to bring.

“She short circuited both your powers. You won’t make it to the healing fountain with Copper and Yellow coming. Go into the Inner Sanctum, stay in Rose’s room. The Crystal Heart of the temple will hide you and restore your strength to heal her. We’ll hold them off.”

There was a whir, otherworldly and angry. Red search light casted across her face making her closed eyes scrunch closed tighter with a soft groan. Steven swung her away from it, blocking it with his back and shoulders. He murmured reassurances into her hair. She could hear Amethyst screaming, “Red Eye!”

“Will you guys be okay?” Steven asked, worry thick in his wavering voice.

“We got this!” Amethyst insisted. There was crashing, the sound of whip slamming into metal.

“Go!” Pearl was yelling, pulling her spear from her gem.

The Inner Sanctum phased open. He carried her across the threshold.

It slammed shut behind them, the sounds of crashing and battle replaced abruptly with silence.

“We’re okay. We’re okay.” Steven insisted in her ear weakly like a chant. It felt like he was trembling. He flexed his hand repeatedly, a splay of fingers in open air to summon power.

Again and again he tried, pushing within himself desperately to no avail. He tried over and over, until his vision went dim. Until he almost passed out.

She was falling now, falling, falling, falling. The arms beneath her were opening. She was surrounded by pink clouds, her eyes opening to see Steven falling next to her. He was clearly losing his own fight to stay conscious as they fell through them.

It must have taken so much out of him to bring her here after all that had happened. He reached for her hand, fingers stretching.

The wind whipped around her but Steven’s plea rang clear, “Please hide her. Room… Please help… I want to save her.”

They both slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

The librarian awoke with a start, tea cup in hand and once more in the hooped wicker back chair. She was back in the tea room, light streaming so bright through the windows it hurt. She winced, squinting in the face of it.

“What part of _try not to draw attention to yourself_ was at all unclear to you?” Anti-Rose Quartz asked, voice dry and dismal across from her like a bored headmistress faced with an unruly student. The librarian looked across the table to her astral visitor, unsurprised to find her expression prim and disdainful.

Dream world again. She took a sip of tea. Rose oolong again.

“Well… Not to be pedantic but you recommended against _trying_ to draw attention. I _succeeded_ in drawing attention. Clear difference.” She grinned facetiously, watching Anti-Rose’s expression pinch. She could practically see her sausage curls vibrating and it satisfied her in the most petty of ways.

“You… You insolent, fool hearted child. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Anti-Rose asked her with bated breath. Her eyes cut across the librarian’s form, assessing how her outline appeared dim, fading even from the astral plane.

“Since you won’t tell me anything? Not really.” The librarian admitted sullenly. Anti-Rose was on her feet, clipped sounds as she rounded the table. She reached out and grasped the librarian by her jaw in one hand, fingers pinching into the hollow of her cheeks as she turned her head this way and that. She was fading.

“You’re dying.” Anti-Rose surmised as the librarian jerked her chin out of her hand.

The librarian swallowed thickly. She had heard Steven say as much earlier as well but had preferred the comfort of the drift, hadn’t wanted to really think on it.

What did one say, when faced with their own mortality? It was daunting. She sipped her tea and settled on, “I assumed you’d be thrilled.”

Anti-Rose wrinkled her nose in distaste, “Don’t be dramatic. Your death would be very inconvenient. There are things in this universe that only you can do.”

“Inconvenient as it may be… I seem to be quite good at it. Why do I feel so.. So…” The librarian asked wearily, raising a hand to rub at her chest. Even on the astral plane it ached, numb and pain muted.

“Your seal is broken. Such a thing is only meant to be broken through a bond.” Anti-Rose explained, clearly displeased, arms crossing across her chest.

“There’s a seal? First I’ve heard about it.” The librarian blinked, surprised.

Anti-Rose sighed, tone taking on that of an exasperated teacher, “There is a seal to keep your power from surging. Once you have fealty, a conduit, whatever you wish to call it… You then have no need of it and it disappears. A partner opens you to balance, someone to share your burdens and your pains.”

“And control my free will.” The librarian huffed, “No thanks.”

“Is that what those Gems with their ridiculous caste have told you? How disappointing. I had thought a few thousand years would have made that opinion ancient history. They remain so narrow minded.” Anti-Rose huffed, contempt dripping.

The librarian froze, staring at Anti-Rose as she phrased carefully, “Isn’t fealty, well… _bad_? I don’t want to be controlled.”

“Listen to me carefully, girl. Having a conduit is not a loss of power. You gain it. Yes, your partner can control your constructs but _you can also control their power as well_. It is a partnership, an open door that goes both ways. Your strengths become their strengths. It is the closest and most sacred bond there is for your kind. But it is all in _the_ choice, _your_ choice, of who you wish that to be shared with.”

_“With the wrong Diamond… The wrong Gem.. It can be.”_

“A choice.” The librarian breathed, realization dawning, “It all depends on who I choose. It could be terrible. But it could be wonderful. That’s what Garnet meant.”

“Well put.” Anti-Rose hummed with a rare approving nod.

“But Steven… It corrupted him.” The librarian trailed slowly, confused. She looked to Anti-Rose, searching her expression for answers. She merely rolled her eyes.

“As it will _all_ who try to force it under their will without the respect it’s due. A Diamond trait, no doubt.” Anti-Rose sniffed in disapproval, nose raising high.

“That’s not fair! He was trying to save my life.” The librarian huffed defensively and with a fair amount of heat.

“Heed my words, girl, Gems will never give you the strength you need because they see you as _less_ _than_. They subjugated your race. You already serve a higher purpose. Me. You are one of the last-”

“Enough! You don’t even know him! Or me! I choose my own path. And that path does not involve following the orders of a mysterious angry rude lady. Even if your tea is delicious.” The librarian declared, setting her teacup down with a slam. She raised her chin, anger swirling.

Everyone had an opinion these days about her. On what she was, how she was supposed to be, what her purpose was. It was new, this judgement. Her Pops and Dad had always been supportive, never answered her choices in life with derision or contempt. Pink Diamond, Copper, Yellow Pearl, all those strangers at the auction… As a Light Prism now she was so inundated with opinions on what her purpose should be she felt sick.

“Impetuous brat… Have you no sense of self preservation or respect?” Anti-Rose asked, eyes glittering and seeming to glow, so pale pink they verged to white.

“I did complement the tea.” The librarian pointed out. “But I don’t know you or your name. Why should I listen to you or believe anything you say at all?”

Anti-Rose seemed to loom, stretching larger and taller as she droned, “I am a god, a goddess among time and space. What motives have I to summon you here and lie?”

“I don’t know.” The librarian admitted, a hike of the eyebrows, “Hell of a title, by the way.”

The looming stopped abruptly, Anti-Rose returning to her original stature as Rose Quartz.

“Call me Mother.” Anti-Rose extended graciously, placated slightly by her honesty.

It was short lived as the librarian stood, the two women facing each other now, no table or tea between them.

“No.” The librarian said shortly, “I’ve gone all my life without a mother. I don’t need one now.”

Anti-Rose narrowed her gaze, anger illy disguised, “It’s a _title_ and a sign of _respect_.”

“Why should I respect you? You don’t respect me. You sit across from me and demean and belittle and insult… Summon me when convenient and then tell me to _figure it out_ when I ask for help. That is not what a mother, _a real mother_ , would do to her child. So no. I won’t call you Mother. Anti-Rose serves me just fine.”

At this Anti-Roses’s lips quirked, words soft and more to herself than the librarian she remarked “Perhaps you are not as changed from what you were as I first thought.”

The librarian huffed in the wake of her tirade, tense.

Smiting. People that told off gods were typically smited.

Anti-Rose merely reached out to her, hand at her earlobe, “Names aside, it does not change the ties that bind. You are a child of mine and as such I will show you the depths of my love by doing what’s best.”

“When you say _child_ …” The librarian began, doubt and curiosity peaking.

It was interrupted by a blaze of power and the librarian felt something burn within her before snuffing out, the flames contained. Anti-Rose’s fingers pulled back, crystal bauble hanging in place from one earlobe, a singular earring trimmed in gold.

“I’ve placed a limiter on your power. You can still access parts of it, you are not defenseless. But it will stop you from burning out of control _irresponsibly_. At least until you find the partner you choose. Have care of your limits and try not to break it.”

“Why?” The librarian asked, speechless.

“I have already told you. There are things in this universe that only you may do. Strengthen your body and your mind. Search the galaxy for someone with enough strength to serve as your equal. Perhaps when the limiter breaks, then you will be ready for my purpose.”

“Thanks… I’ll um… think about it.”

“Pray you do not think on it too long.” Anti-Rose sniffed.

“But… I’m still fading. I’m still dying?” The librarian trailed, raising a hand. It appeared to her translucent with merely a hint of her skin color.

Anti-Rose sighed, “Must I solve all your problems, child? Your physical body is not here so I cannot help. As little confidence as he has inspired thus far, it remains to the Diamond prince to heal your body. Useless boy. Even now he brings you to near death at the hands of a room fueled by his own selfish desires.”

The librarian’s cheeks turned pink, properly scolded and also frustrated. It was clear she and Anti-Rose had different interpretations of what a room fueled by Steven’s desires entailed.

“Go! Wake up!"

* * *

Steven Universe woke within the Inner Sanctum of the Gem Temple feeling restored. He was lying on his back on what felt like a cushion of baby pink clouds. He felt better, stronger, and he flicked his hand out, able to summon pink magic with a flick of his wrist once more. The sparkles hung in the air, suspended around his fingers and the relief sunk in him deep to his bones.

His powers were back. He could heal her.

“Thank goodness.” Steven sighed. He rolled eagerly to his right. The librarian was lying next to him, turned away from him with her back facing him, a swathe of hair. He reached out for her, touching her shoulder gently.

She disappeared in a poof of clouds under his hand.

And Steven was alone.

Steven called her name out, expression disbelieving as his eyes shook, hands trembling. He looked around him, sense of dread, nausea and fear returning with a vengeance and climbing to higher heights. He sat upright with a bolt, scrambling to his feet.

He called her name once, twice. He whipped around in circles, disoriented and looking for any glimpse of her among the plethora of pink clouds, light, and fog.

She had been with him. She had been right there.

He remembered distinctly carrying her inside the Temple.

…Hadn’t he?

He was in his Mom’s room. And it liked to play tricks.

“Room!” Steven yelled sternly, voice nearly cracking.

This couldn’t be happening. He had his powers back. He’d brought her here.

Or was that what the room _wanted_ him to think since it was so very badly what he wanted? Thoughts a blur, he turned this way and that, trying to catch a glimpse of her hair, any sign at all that he’d really brought her here with him.

A tiny pink floating whale appeared, staring at him with a toothy grin.

“I want to see her. Where is she?” Steven demanded, tone harsh. He didn’t have time for this.

The librarian appeared before him in a poof of clouds, a tumble of unfurling hair and billowing skirts. She was smiling and wearing that alluring seafoam green sundress he loved, “Hi, Steven.”

“No!” Steven yelled immediately, feeling all the more manic at the sight of a version of her happy and whole. His voice shook, beginning to panic in earnest, “I want to see the _real_ her. Where is she? Where are you hiding her?”

The fake librarian’s smile downturned and slipped into a frown. She disappeared into a poof of dissipating clouds that drifted away like smoke. There was a beat of a pause and then…

The pink clouds and light parted. A spiral staircase appeared, surrounding an incredibly tall tower of pink brick surrounded by vines and white fog. It looked like something out of a fairytale book, suspiciously familiar to him.

“What’s going on?” He asked aloud with sinking dread.

His eyes cut accusingly to the tiny floating whale next to him.

“Room! What’s happening?”

The whale only grinned toothily. It spurted a stream of water at Steven and as the droplets fell images formed within the droplets.

Steven could see them, when they had entered the Inner Sanctum. Part of him was relieved at the verification it hadn’t been a figment of his mind the room had twisted. He had made it here safe with her after all. The Steven in the water droplets looked terrified.

_“Please hide her. Room… Please help… I want to save her.”_

Steven looked at the whale and then at the tall spire of clouds and tower and felt his heart sink. It looked exactly like a version of a storybook he’d had as a child that Pearl had read him. It told fairytales about princesses-

 _Ah_.

“She’s up there, isn’t she?” Steven asked the whale with a resigned sigh.

The whale only continued to grin. In the last droplets he could see the librarian, laid out across some type of dais. She resembled a sleeping beauty. It was juxtaposed by her injuries, the extent of which seemed to be darkening and spreading across her torso.

“No.” Steven nearly whimpered for a moment.

He turned on the small floating whale, tone furious and demanding, “She’s still hurt! Please, I need to heal her. I _want_ to heal her!”

The whale only disappeared with a pop.

Every moment was precious.

Powerless. Hapless. Useless.

…. _Lifeless_.

She could be dead.

He kept telling himself she was only unconscious. But after all, from look alone there was no way to tell. Steven had also lost sense of time. He had no idea how long they’d been in here or how long she’d been waiting for him to wake up. With her injured in such a way…

He took off for the tower at breakneck speed, running. The environment responded around him, brambles emerging around the tower, protecting it. He summoned his shield with a determined scream, a barrage of pink projectiles aimed at the winding thorns.

There was another thing from the storybook he had forgotten.

Steven groaned aloud in frustration, hearing a screech and the deafening beat of leathery wings. He jumped back from a stream of fire that seemed to rain down from the sky, raising his shield and watching as fringes of red flame licked across the surface.

There was a dragon.

Of course the prince always had to fight a dragon.

* * *

The librarian awoke to the sounds of an angry dragon screeching. She was laying flat on some sort of raised platform. Her eyes slid into focus, the skies above her a swathe of baby pink and cotton cloud wisps. She wasn’t in a bedroom so much as a raised platform surrounded by pink nothingness.

The dragon soared overhead, casting a black shadow in the clouds as it soared, tearing straight ahead with a roar and an explosion of flames.

Her chest ached. She looked down and her eyes widened at the extent of her injuries. Her skin was charred and burned. She was in enough pain that it cycled past excruciating and went into numbness. In the center of her chest rested a pyramid prism, the glitter of the stone casting rainbows off the pink clouds.

Her cheeks were hot and her head swam, vision sliding in and out of focus as she mustered enough energy to turn her head to the side and look down below.

She found the source of the screaming when she did.

Below on the ground, Steven Universe was fighting a dragon with only his shield. It breathed a stream of fire at him and Steven shoved his shoulder into it, pushing forward as the flames parted on either side of him like a forked tongue of fire.

“Steven…” She wanted to help, wanting to run to his side. She felt immobile, sucked down by quicksand, limbs unwilling to move.

He screamed with the force of his shove, pushing his shield forward and slinging it to the side with a spin, fire forced with it and spewing to the right. “Let me through! Please, I don’t have time for this!”

“That’s not what you want.” The dragon rumbled back to him. “You want this. You want to save her. You want to save everyone and be the hero.”

The librarian’s eyes widened, for one due to the talking dragon. But for two, it was clear from the look of sheer panic and pain on Steven’s face the dragon had tapped into something personal.

“Shut! Up!” Steven yelled. The dragon dive bombed him and he rolled to the side in a neat summersault, head over heels ahead of a trail of fire. The dragon swooped ahead, knocking him off balance and sending him tumbling hard across the ground.

“You’re _enjoying_ this, aren’t you princeling? Saving the day. Saving the girl. Do you think she’d give you the time of day if you were boring? If you were ordinary?” The dragon spit venomously, an explosive fireball that Steven blocked, sinking to his knees and clenching his eyes shut.

“Admit it. You’re glad she’s here. If she’s here she can’t leave you. Just like everyone else leaves you.”

“Stop it. Stop saying that.” Steven begged, staring up at the dragon with hazel eyes that were wide and vulnerable. It was an imposing beast, all wingspan and darkness as it spoke in a hiss thoughts he had only late at night, when he was alone. It seemed insurmountable now, his fears.

“Steven, that’s not true…” The librarian breathed, realizing what was happening. Anti-Rose had said this was a room fueled by Steven’s desires. This was clearly fears he needed to face.

Steven heard her voice, saying her name aloud and turning his head as if he could hear her. She was alive!

“She’s perfect. So wonderful. So beautiful. What’s she doing wasting her time with an _alien_ _freak_ like you? Doesn’t she know? You ruin _everything_!” The dragon roared crashing onto all fours and nearly crushing Steven in the process. He stumbled and tripped free of harm just barely, feeling the weight of the words, his confidence badly shaken.

“It’s not true.” Steven insisted, his voice small as he tried to fight it. He clenched his eyes shut for a moment, desperately trying to shove the sharp pang of emotion aside.

“Course it’s not true.” The librarian murmured hazily to him, “You make everything better.”

From on the ground Steven’s eyes widened, blush cresting on his cheeks. Embarrassment burned deep within him. This had to be the worst scenario. He was losing time and he couldn’t reach her. The things she was hearing… He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Steven called her name out, “Please don’t listen! Don’t listen.” He begged, rolling to avoid the quick stomp of dragon feet. He went underneath it, through the safety of its soft underbelly and shot a shower of pink shards at the beast. It poofed for a moment.

Then reappeared, teeth glittering menacingly in front of him, “You _want_ her to listen. Everything happening is because _you_ want it to. You want to save her. Because you feel like you need to constantly impress. She’ll toss you aside if you don’t.”

“ _No_ …” Steven begged brokenly. The dragon bit forward and he stumbled backwards, narrowly avoiding the snap of jaws and teeth. He fell on his butt, shuffling backwards. The dragon looked triumphant, raring its head back to soar above him.

“ _Yes_. But most of all it’s because you feel like you need to _earn_ her.”

Steven curled in on himself, fingers in his hair.

The dragon let out a distorted laugh, looming over him, “Like that will ever happen. You don’t deserve her.”

Steven shut his eyes, trying to block the voice out and failing.

“You don’t deserve to be happy!” The dragon crowed victorious.

Steven flinched, feeling the declaration as if it had been a physical blow.

Far above them however the librarian burned with furious anger. Was this really how Steven felt? The darkness of his thoughts? Tears licked at her eyes.

“No! _You_ don’t listen! You _do_ deserve happiness. Fight for it, Steven.”

It took concentration and spite but she closed her eyes and focused. There was pain, so much of it, as she dipped her fingers into the surface of a small pail of water instead of a well.

Steven looked down at his right hand, stunned as he watched a crystal sword appear in a burst in his hand. He breathed her name and it glowed with all the colors of a rainbow, hilt large and he swung it in an arc. He could feel it in his hands, warmth, hope, _love_.

“Fight for it.” The librarian urged him, “Don’t… let it win.”

The dragon breathed fire once more and Steven blocked it with his shield just at the last moment. He slung the flames aside and jumped up, shoving the sword straight ahead. With a clean twist of the wrist he cut through the dragon and landed on one knee in a crouch, sword slung up onto his shoulder.

The dragon was defeated, clouds poofing in a tuft of smoke.

This time it didn’t reform. The librarian smiled, silence instead of battle reaching her.

Up on the dais the crack in the librarian’s prism split deeper.

The crack was so loud it echoed and Steven froze, triumph of victory dashed.

Late… He was too late.

 _Useless_.

He screamed her name.

She closed her eyes again for just a moment, “I’m here… I’m just… so tired.”

“Don’t fall asleep! I’m coming, do you hear me? Stay awake!” Steven screamed.

She sighed. He really was so bossy. With extreme difficulty she fluttered her eyes open.

Panicked, Steven rushed forward, the thorns and vines seeming to swell around the tower.  
He threw himself into them, fighting like like hell to reach her. He climbed and clawed through the thick wall of thorn brambles and vines. Distraught, his hair a mess, his clothes shredded, he closed his eyes and begged.

“Room… I want to reach her. Please, just let me reach her. She needs me, please, she needs me.” The steady stream and babble chants of his pleas devastated her.

The room refused to let him reach her. The room was trying to keep her safe and out of danger. The stairs had disappeared, leaving him at the bottom with no way up.

So there was really only one thing to do.

She didn’t have any doubt about it either which was… strange.

She gathered all the strength she had and drug herself off the dais.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be right down.” She called through gritted teeth. There was a bit further platform to traverse and she struggled across it, nearly passing out once or twice from the mind-searing pain.

She ran out of energy a foot away from the edge and she stared at it, huffing, vision blurring, nearly there, nearly going dark when-

“Please… Please…” She could hear Steven. He sounded hopeless, desperate, his tone bubbling and wet.

Crying. He was crying.

It forced her to power through the remaining distance. She reached the edge of the dais and looked down. It was a long drop. Steven was at the base of it, clinging to the stones, sagging against them, clawing against them.

She hurled herself over the edge without a second thought.

She could feel the wind on her face as she fell, wanting, hoping with everything to see-

Steven Universe.

She felt his arms close around her, enveloping her as she felt her face hit against his shoulder, familiar fingers tighten in her hair. He spun them, momentum carrying them in a half circle and she tipped her chin back, unable to find the strength to embrace him but happy to see him all the same.

Steven held her, grip tight around her, tone reverent, “I’ve got you… I’ve got you.”

She could see the translucent shimmer of magenta around them and she realized she was within his pink bubble with him, floating. She could feel him, warm and sure against her. He held her tight for a moment longer than pulled back.

“Hurts.” She managed to choke, expression pleading.

Steven gave a half nod, expression grim “Let me see. Show me.”

He pushed her chin back farther, back bowing and lifting the extensive damage of her torso just above her bust. He supported her as if he was her partner in a dance, arm hooked low around her lower back just above her hips. Her eyes closed, embarrassed. His lips were at her chest, warmth sparkling through her as her eyes opened again to a shimmer of pink magic.

The crack across her prism healed.

The scalding black burns of the destabilizer melted away to nothingness.

The skin of her chest knitted and smoothed over.

Her exhaustion and last aches drifted away, her thoughts running clear once more.

He lingered, sinking to his knees with her as he replaced his lips with the bridge of his nose against her sternum. He stayed there with closed eyes, immense relief flooding him.

She reached around him, embracing his head and shoulders. She felt him stiffen and he pulled back immediately, brown eyes watery and wide as saucers as he looked up at her.

“Hi…” She whispered in a quiet chirp.

Her voice was the trigger. Tears welled then broke in his eyes, chocolate melting until it overflowed.

“Hi.” He whispered back, laughter wet, happy for the briefest of moments.

It was clouded over immediately by dread in his expression, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

He couldn’t look at her, pushing his face from her hands, onward to hide against her chest. Stunned she froze for a moment when she heard it, the first gasp of a sob. He was clinging to her, fingers curled in her hair, face pressed against her bare skin. Shaking, trembling, raw. He was weeping, overwhelmed by the panic and the fear. Old wounds ripped open and laid bare as the gambit of emotions he’d tried to suppress in order to save her bubbled over. He was vulnerable and soft, the only noise the regular rhythm of his shaky gasps for oxygen through thick emotion.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry.” He echoed himself, choking it around uneven inhales.

“Why are you sorry?” She whispered to him kindly, voice wavering, “I’m the idiot who tasered herself. You healed me. If anything I should be thanking you.” She coaxed his face free from her chest but he kept his eyes closed, unable to face her.

Her arms felt clumsy and new as they raised but she managed to smear the tear tracks across the softness of his cheeks, attempt to wipe them away. She held his face in her hands, thumbs smoothing against his cheeks. Her fingertips slipped over his soft skin, wet from tears.

He let out a bubble of laughter, tears flowing harder. She was kind. Kind to him even though he’d nearly killed her. Kind to him even though he didn’t deserve it. She’d nearly died.

Between the snot and the panic, he couldn’t breathe.

“I did _everything_ wrong! You almost died twice because I couldn’t save you.” The fear was palpable in his eyes. He was rubbing his wrist at his nose and face, shrinking inward.

“You did save me.” She corrected him, eyes soft and gentle as she kissed at his temple. Panic floated in his dazed expression at the idea of if he _hadn’t_.

“Everything worked out okay.” She insisted again, sitting up better if only to embrace him. He buried his face against her chest and she curled around his trembling form, cradling him to her.

He could feel her hands smoothing up and down along his back, a slow rhythm.

“Just focus on breathing.” She murmured and he did, clenching his eyes shut and letting himself just be. He was with her, in a space he knew was safe. She was whole. They stayed that way for a while as he struggled and took deep breaths.

Her voice was chanting now, a gentle reassurance, “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

Steven shuddered, reveling in the feel of her holding him tight. The tears kept coming, his voice smaller and quieter now, “How?”

Then in a desperate gasp, voice quavering. “You were burning…”

His throat closed up and he couldn’t finish.

“I picked up some new jewelry.” She said quietly, finger brushing the small crystal bauble that hung from her right ear. “Limiter. Like it?”

“How? When?” He sputtered through his panic.

“It doesn’t matter.” She’d tell him everything later, when he wasn’t spiraling, “What matters is I’m okay. It’s a temporary seal.” She reassured him, thumb rubbing his jaw.

“Temporary?! What if it breaks? I can’t I… I’m not able to…” The sheer panic was strong in his eyes as he pushed back enough to see her.

The librarian only smiled, albeit a strained one. He shut his eyes tight, face turning into her hand. She didn’t know. She had no idea how to fix it. Why was she so calm?

“I’ll figure it out.” She assured him simply. At his distraught expression she gripped his jaw, forcing him to look up at her as her voice turned stern, “My problems aren’t all your fault, Steven. It’s not always your responsibility to fix everything, to fix me, either.”

“You could die! You almost died!” He insisted, furiously, “You can’t…” He inhaled pleadingly. He hadn’t had a choice, losing his Mom. So many had left, so many things had changed. But the librarian… He simply _wouldn’t_. He’d bend the universe itself to his will if that’s what it took.

His lips pressed onto hers. His will was strong, desire intense within him. Magic slammed into her body, shooting through her to her toes, making them curl. She could feel it tip into her, desperate to heal any ails. It clenched tight in her abdomen, cheeks flaring pink as a soft gasp left her into his mouth. It affected her as it always did only this time the desire that filled her for him from it was so strong it made her ache. His hand was in her hair, fist clenched. His other hand cupped her face, thumb brushing her cheekbone.

“You can’t…” Steven insisted again, vehemently. His next words he confessed tightly against her bottom lip, eyes closed and body tense, “I love you.”

Tears welled. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

Steven whispered it again to her, his eyes closing as he hovered near her mouth, “I love you.”

He leaned forward, dipping his face under her lowered chin and up. His lips met hers in the promise of a kiss, magic blazing bright within his barrier. His gem glowed, light nearly blinding. It shot around them, pink light that moved like lava.

She crumbled, arms sinking around his neck, around him. His nose brushed past hers, full lips sinking into her mouth. Her fingers curled, clinging to his shoulders. It felt like she’d quit breathing. There was an insistency, an urging in his kiss, that caused her lips to part. He tipped her head back farther in his hands, deepening it without hesitation.

Steven broke from her mouth hard. Just long enough to murmur into her lips, “I love you.”

He’d been so terrified to tell her. He couldn’t stop saying it now. It surged from him.

She speared her fingers through his curls and drug his face to slant down lower over hers. He stoked it further, a smooth brush of his tongue against hers that drug sounds from her she had never heard. She was drowning, lost in the elation from a mix of Steven’s magic and declaration

“Steven.” She warned him pleadingly, a hint of a gasp peaking from her, “Your magic…” Her words dissolved in a rushed exhale, cheeks pink. He whined, craving something powerful, something he didn’t know how to name.

They were moving, shifting like pieces of a puzzle unsure of their fit against each other. She ran her hands out across his chest, pushing the last tatters of his suit jacket back off his shoulders. She kept her mouth on his, fiercely, desperate as she seemed to slip closer to him. She sucked slightly on his bottom lip for a moment, kiss messy and frantic.

She ducked her head under his chin, lips at his neck, against his ear, “Is this okay?”

“Stars yes…” Steven gasped, hands trembling as he felt her tug and pop each button of his dress shirt open one by one. He reached down, fingers digging into her hips, the curve of her butt as he pulled her to him. Her hands slipped underneath the fabric of his dress shirt, open now, fingers splaying out across his broad chest. She pushed the fabric back, tugging it off of him as well.

Steven hummed slightly, unable to find his voice momentarily as she laid a wet trail of her kiss along his collarbone, over his shoulder, hands smoothing down to run hot across bare skin. His cheeks stained pink under her attention. He knew he wasn’t exactly a model. He was more stocky than lean, insecurities whispering to him.

A brush of her nose against his as she leaned up to kiss him, all exploration of hands. Stars, the way she touched him, way she gripped him, made him feel desirable. It was a heady feeling. His gem glowed from it.

Her hands trailed down his front, breaking her onslaught only when her hands brushed passed the stone in his stomach. He made a sound, a strangled groan into her mouth at the contact. She pushed slightly at him, giving them a modicum of space.

“Sorry, did that.. I don’t want to hurt-”

“You didn’t.” He interrupted her in a rush, blush cresting high in his cheeks, “The opposite, actually.”

She smiled at this, a growing lift to the corners of her mouth, as she hummed, “Really?”

He could feel her fingers moving down, dexterous fingers smoothing over the flat pentagon top of his gem. With a careful touch she moved along the smooth facet cuts of each side slowly.

“It feels hot.” She murmured, fascination apparent, “Why the glow?”

Lectures of Gem biology swirled in his head, clinical reasons about the temperature of light, his human makeup, a static speech he had given countless times to curious humans. All of it tumbled and jumbled at the feel of her touching him. Steven inhaled sharply, fingers curling and digging sharply into her hips. A strangled keen hung in his throat, head falling forward and eyes clenching shut on her shoulder.

“S-Stars…” He stammered, flush furious in his cheeks. She shifted against him, dislodging his head from her shoulder, blush growing as she realized just how pleasurable it was for him.

“Is that… not normal?” She ventured curiously.

Steven gave his head half a shake in the negative and surged forward. His lips were on hers again. It had knocked her hands free from the stone in his stomach but the loss spurned him onwards. His fingers tugged, hands pulling and tearing the precious remaining fabric of her dress free from her until she was bare.

It was his turn to touch her, a trail of flat palms over hips, up her sides. He pulled her against him, hand strong as it clenched into her butt, his face falling into her bust. She scrambled for grip, fingers digging into his curls, his shoulder. Her head tipped back as his lips roamed over her breast, hand smoothing her right leg to wrap around his waist before running down her back.

His barrier popped and she felt herself being pushed back, falling, falling with him until she was on her back in a field of pink wheat. He was hovering over her on his hands and knees, and he sunk into her neck with his lips, a nip of teeth and she moaned, a full pleading sound.

“Beautiful… S’beautiful…” He mumbled praises to her, lips kissing at the curve of her breast. She could feel his hand between them, sliding down her front, disappearing into her underwear. The librarian’s lips parted in soundless surprise and she bit her bottom lip. Steven watched her with dark fascination, intent on noticing any of her tells. He parted her with his fingers, index finding her nub and beginning small, tight circles there.

“My Diamond.” She whispered, a multi-noted soft moan escaping her. Steven groaned, huffing little breaths at watching her devolve beneath him into a wanton, pleading mess. He kept pace, leaning forward to draw her nipple back within his mouth again, sucking and mimicking the rhythm and pressure he set below. Her back arched, breast shoved into his face insistent for more of his attention.

“ _Yes_.” He agreed, word sounding almost needfully hot as he broke from her breast to lay a trail up her chest with his mouth. She keened and her hips bucked against his hand. He slipped his finger within her, groaning at just how soaked she was.

Not to be outdone he could feel her hands drifting down his front, clinging to his belt buckle before pulling and tugging it open.

He breathed hard against her skin, “Y-You don’t have to… Ah!… Oh _stars_ …”

She had shoved her hand down the front of his pants, hand wrapping tight around his erection. He blushed, panting at the feel of her hand smoothly stroking along him. She was touching and rubbing him in ways he’d only ever previously done himself. His eyes closed, hand stilling against her momentarily.

“ _Shit_.” Steven swore, open moan tumbling out of his mouth. He was overcome with the sensation of her rubbing the weeping wetness of his own arousal down over his shaft in smooth strokes. He leaned his hips up, tilting them needfully into her hand. Her lips were at his neck and he felt like he was about to pass out.

“You never curse.” She pointed out, in awe of the profanity she drew from him.

“I… I can’t help… It feels good.” He breathed, unable to finish a coherent sentence. He inhaled sharply as her wrist added a twist. Another swear, this one filthier than the last as her hand tightened around him, pace increasing.

She let out a soft moan at hearing Steven dissolved into obscenities.

“Stardust, you gotta stop.” He begged her, pleadingly, “I’m gonna…”

He groaned, hands flying from her to her wrists, pulling her hands off of him and to either side of her head. Her whine at the loss of his fingers made him blush. He looked her evenly in the eye, panting. His nose pressed against hers as he tried to regain clarity. A frustrated groan left him as one vexing thought occurred to him.

“Protection.” He mumbled, slightly embarrassed, “I don’t have any-”

She smiled slowly, a nip at his lips, “I’ve got a birth control implant.”

“Oh.” He breathed, eyes widening.

She hummed in affirmation, nip at his lips deepening to a searing kiss, tongue seeping into his mouth. She seemed to rock with it against him. He shuffled completely out of his pants and her underwear, feeling her push them down. He kicked his pants free of his ankles and he felt her gaze slide down him, lingering over his obvious arousal. She’d already touched him but to be visible and completely naked in front of her… His cheeks crested pink.

“Hot.” She murmured, “You’re so fucking hot.” She mumbled, lips sinking into his earlobe. He hissed at the sudden sensation, enough to pull him from his self consciousness. He laid a trail of kisses down her front, over the plains of her stomach, hands trailing from her wrists down her arms to grip her breasts.

“I could say the same of you…” He mumbled, his tongue dipping into her belly button for a moment. She squirmed and he chuckled, kissing down. He gripped her thigh, pushing it up and over. His head dipped low, her fingers flying to his curls as he drug his tongue along her most intimate of places.

“Steven…” She gasped needfully, tone desperate and pleading. He made a pleased sound in response before he repeated the motion. This time magic swirled on his lips and the sound that tore from her made him tighten his grip on her. He alternated between gentle sucks at her clit and deep curls of his tongue. He kept pace, setting a delicious rhythm that drove her insane.

All too soon her thighs began to tremble, her body quivering. Another pass of magic. She gasped, coming apart for him, body shaking, as she chanted his name, nearly sobbing from the relief of release. She crashed into orgasm and he courted it, coaxed into into a steady plateau of pleasure, drawn out by his will. As it faded he surfaced, devilishly pleased grin quirked on his mouth.

She couldn’t even bring herself to hate him for it because, _damn him_ , it was well deserved. He murmured her name and she blushed, watching him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand slowly.

“You didn’t have to…” She began, cheeks pink and reddening through her post-orgasmic haze.

“Just so we’re clear…” He murmured against her mouth, “I thoroughly enjoyed that.”

She didn’t doubt him. She could feel the proof jutting against her hip.

He kissed her and she could taste herself on him still slightly, “Do you want this? We don’t have to keep going.”

“Steven…” She groaned in frustration, her legs wrapping around him, trying in vain to pull him closer to her. He resisted, setting her with a stern look as he stayed frozen.

“Tell me. Yes or no.”

“Yes!” She insisted furiously, “Damnit, I need you…”

“Look at me.” Steven murmured, reaching her through her post-orgasmic haze. She could feel him, shifting between her thighs, sinking his hands along her leg. She curled it around him.

She met his gaze, blush heavy on her cheeks.

“I love you.” Steven breathed to her again. He gripped himself and thrust up, sinking into her. She gasped, stiffening. He kissed lovingly at her shoulder, biting her gently before soothing the injury over with his tongue and another dose of healing magic. His magic healed any discomfort and quickly set her aflame once more.

Breath left her in a whoosh as her hands helplessly skittered down his back before digging in just at the dip of his lower back. His hips twitched as he pressed forward still, finally bottoming out. Her hips bumped against his and his eyes widened, cheeks pink. This was it. This was what it felt like to be with someone, with her, in the most intimate of ways.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, struggling to adjust to sensations that inundated him.

“Fine.” She insisted breathily. “Are you?”

He gave a short nod, “You’re sure? I could stop.”

“Don’t you dare.” She breathed and rolled her hips against his. Breath left him in a whoosh as he felt it, the full delicious sensation of how it felt to move within her. He rolled his hips experimentally, ending with a pronounced snap. He watched the pleasure shoot across her face from the motion and moaned.

“I don’t… I don’t know how long I’ll l-last.” Steven warned her, repeating the motion as he tried to find a movement and rhythm he liked best. Her heel pressed into his lower back as she drug him closer still and he let out a moan.

“I don’t care.” She murmured, chin lifting as she tugged him down to kiss her. He braced himself beside her head, hips finding a steady rhythm that caused her to gasp heatedly into his mouth. Emboldened, Steven let out a breathy chuckle, enjoying the sensation and losing himself in her. She wrapped an arm around his neck, fingers clinging in his curls.

“S-Steven!” She gasped, an urgent lilt to her moan. She twisted her hips against his, nearly sobbing. His eyes widened and his rhythm drifted to a steady staccato, emphatic and deep against her. The librarian tipped her head back, a steady stream of babbling praise and compliments as he felt her flutter and tremble around him. Her legs lost its hook against him as her fingers dug into his back, his butt instead.

Steven grabbed her thigh, pushing it back as he took her, deep powerful thrusts of his hips as he struggled to hold onto her. The way she looked, the way she felt… He was lost in her, to her. His hands slid down her, thumb reaching between them to give a guitarist’s flick of his thumb at her clit.

“Oh stars…” He felt her gasp, tremble giving way to a certain tenseness in her body as she came immediately. Steven groaned, feeling the clamp of her muscles around him.

It was too much.

“ _Shit_ … I’m gonna…” He came as well, his hip’s rhythm skipping and stuttering as he gasped against her neck. He filled her, the strength of his own orgasm causing him to moan at the sense of relief. Steven panted for breath, stunned, overheated and tangled against her. Awareness and self-consciousness bloomed in the moments after as he pushed back to look at her.

A lazy smile flooded her features and he made a face as he felt laughter twine between them. He struggled for a moment to disentangle himself from her before he slipped free of her, rolling to her right and stretching out in a flopped heap.

His gaze didn’t leave her, affection and happiness apparent.

“That was…” He trailed, a little starstruck.

“Good.” She confirmed, running her fingers back through her own hair before she turned to face him with an amused snort, “Really, really good. What the hell, Universe? Your first time is supposed to be terrible.”

Steven stuck his tongue out at her childishly and she laughed, an incredulous sound.

“So you’re not… disappointed?” He ventured, cautiously, insecurities fleeting but present. He had hoped, of course, that his inexperience hadn’t been something obvious.

“Stars no.” She exclaimed, rolling over to leave a lingering kiss on his shoulder.

He sighed, tucking an arm up under his head as he looked at her, “Does anything hurt? Are you okay?” He insisted, eyes flickering over her face.

“No. I feel fine.” She promised him. “Fairly certain I might be immortal now with as much healing magic as you gave me.”

His cheeks were still flushed but they still tinged darker, as he told her shyly, “I like how my magic makes you feel.” He brushed a curl of her hair slightly damp around and behind her right ear with lingering fingers.

She blushed, slightly sulking, “Kickstarting my libido with magic is cheating.”

Steven’s smile grew, lazy and full of mischief, “I didn’t hear you complaining earlier.”

She groaned, ruffling his curls and Steven let out a noise of outrage, the two of them dissolving into laughter. They rolled for a moment, and Steven wrapped his arms around her waist and tightened his hold. He pressed his face to her collarbone and sighed.

Bundled against him the librarian let her own tenseness slide. She settled in his arms before she chanced a glance at him.

“That stuff… With the dragon earlier… You know it’s not true, right?” She began cautiously, “With or without me you deserve to be happy.”

Steven’s smile as he looked up at her was bittersweet as he leaned forward to press his nose to hers. He lingered there for a moment, eyes closed before he pulled back, “I chose with. I meant it, what I said. I do love you.”

It felt like her breath left her in a whoosh as she stared at him, eyes widening as she froze.

“That’s good.” She squeaked, her voice rising high in her nose in panic, “That’s really uh… Really nice of you?”

Steven laughed, smile wide and amusement clear as she flailed, red faced and squirming next to him. Inwardly she was spiraling. She liked Steven, stars, maybe even did love him. She wanted to say it. It bubbled on the tip of her tongue, a chaotic cocktail of wanting to please and serotonin.

And yet… But yet… She had her own dragons.

“You don’t have to say it back.” Steven guessed as he watched conflicted emotions storm across her expression. His smile was easy and knowing as he felt her hands slide down the center of his chest, hovering just over his heart.

“I don’t want you to misunderstand. It’s not that I don’t…” She began cautiously.

“I know.” He assured her calmly, “I could feel how you feel about me… When we were Crystal Quartz.”

“Oh.” She realized, cheeks darkening. Fusion, the ultimate lie detector.

She remembered then, the depths of his feelings for her as well and she wasn’t sure her face would stop being red for another week.

“I just need to um… Work through that myself first. Before I say it. It’s scary, you know?” She admitted, unable to look up at him.

He smiled at her, gaze softening, “It’s okay. I was scared too… at first. But I think I’ve loved you for ages. I don’t know how to stop. Is it okay if I keep saying it anyway? No obligations or expectations. Just because I want to?”

She gave a nod, shy but happy. He pushed the hair back from her face, a gentle smoothing brush of fingertips. His smile grew devious.

“I think,” He began, tone lifting in confidence, “That you’ll say it eventually. I just have to wait. I can be patient.” It was a pale shade of Pink Diamond’s overconfidence and her eyes shot to his face, incredulous. There was an edge of impish mirth around his features and she let out a burst of laughter.

“Steven! You are the most impatient person I know.” She pointed out, her own smile blooming.

He hummed, sound full in his throat as he grinned at her. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t try my hardest to convince you.”

Another bubble of laughter, her smile twisting and amused, “Oh really? And how exactly will you do that?”

“Well.” Steven stated with a leading perfunctory sigh. He rolled over on top of her and he grinned. She squealed and he nipped a trail of kisses along her jaw, “ _Somebody_ promised me a week alone when we got back. And I intend to make very good use of my time.”

_Do do dodo do._

His phone went off. Steven kept kissing her, down the slope of her neck, enjoying the sound of her laughter.

“Steven! Your phone!” She gasped with a laugh, twisting a bit beneath him in protest. She could see it vibrating, shaking its way out of the pocket of his discarded pants. It shook free and across the ground, trembling wheat at the force of its vibrations.

_Do do dodo do._

“Don’t care.” He insisted, lips finding a spot just behind her ear that caused her to stiffen. He froze as well, eyebrow lifting as he repeated the motion, the ghost of his hot breath causing prickles of a shudder to roll down her spine. Her pushing hands became fists as she curled them into him and he repeated the kiss, varying pressure until he found a way that made her toes curl and a gasp to leave her.

_Do do dodo do._

Steven hummed, his own hands trailing down her, flat palms over the curve of her body until he reached her hip, “Did I mention that this room can conjure just about anything I want?”

The librarian’s mouth went dry, “Anything?”

“ _Anything_.”

She nearly melted at the way he was looking at her, expression heated as he swiped his mouth along her collarbone, “That’s low. You’re trying to seduce me with a holodeck.”

_Do do dodo do._

His kissing was slowing, deepening to more insistent as he crept up the other side of her neck now, hovering behind her ear, “Mhm. Is it working?”

“Depends.” She murmured. She tilted her head to the side, whispering in his ear a series of suggestions and fantasies so lurid, Steven’s cheeks sped past pink and flushed dark red. When she pulled back he was panting, his wide eyes so rich brown they edged into a dark umber.

He lunged, pouncing on her fully and she let out a peal of laughter that quickly dissolved into heated gasps.

_Do do dodo do._

For the first time in her existence, White Diamond was sent to voicemail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter felt incredibly personal and intimate in tone for me to write. I struggled with it at times. Anyways, I really hope people like it and keep coming back? My updates may take a little longer as we start getting into the next arc. 
> 
> Further notes: Inspiration for the character posing in the scene where Steven heals the librarian is direct from Revolutionary Girl Utena when Utena pulls the sword from Anthy. For the unfamiliar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYqe8ju6GlU
> 
> But instead of Steven pulling out a sword he's leaning down to kiss the light. I am magical girl trash so what did you expect? Until next time, xoxo.


	16. Rose's Room, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an ice cream sundae, served to you with a heaping amount of fluff and covered in a NSFW sauce. There is a sprinkling of pet/power play dynamics. If you're allergic, this sundae may not be for you.

The dreams had started almost immediately, much to Steven Universe’s bewilderment.

He could see the librarian falling next to him in the clouds, like they had been when they first entered Rose’s room. The colors around them were cloudy, bleeding like watercolor in a vortex that felt disorienting. He reached out to her, fingers stretching to their limit but falling short. She was awake and also reaching, trying to meet him half way. Her own fingers missed his and failed.

Their eyes met and all at once she seemed to flare, ignited into white and burning with light so bright he could barely look at her. He squinted, head turning slightly to the side in the face of it.

He could see her panic, the words of fear undoubtedly moving from her mouth except they sounded without audio. She touched her face now, her chest where the light shown so bright, patting herself down as if she could extinguish the blaze on her own.

Ribbons of her power fluttered in the air of their descent, twisting with light white and clear. The ambient illumination of pink diffused through them, other times making them red. They twined around him, connecting them loosely, but only just, like strings of fate.

Terrified, Steven tried to grab one, to use it as something to drag her to him.

The ribbon snapped.

He slipped into Pink Diamond. He looked up helplessly, fear filling him as he saw Yellow Diamond smile, Copper’s laugh.

Ties severed between them, she blazed in earnest now, seeming to collapse, curling her arms around her knees in despair. The look she gave him was passive and unseeing, resigned to loneliness. He reached out to her and she burst into light so white he couldn’t see her anymore. Anger, bitterness, frustration all boiled within him until it overflowed.

He exploded into a burst of power, screaming, implosion of it scattering the clouds…

And he woke up.

Awake, Steven gasped, still feeling as if he had released a burst of energy. Eyes wide and searing pink he sought to regain his breathing. He relaxed momentarily when he realized he was in his own bed, twisted in the cream duvet. He was safe, he registered, and the librarian…

He looked to his side, last of his panic flitting away entirely as he saw her twined in the sheets as well, just waking up herself from the flurry of motion next to her.

Her brows knit in confusion, head tilting a bit inquisitively as she saw his pink gaze burn strong for a moment before fading away to brown, “Steven? What’s the matter?”

“Bad dream.” He admitted hoarsely, sinking back down next to her. She reached out, hand smoothing back from his temple into his messy curls. He was radiating heat, clearly had been sweating. He let her fuss, relief flooding at the feel of her hands, eyes closing.

It hadn’t been real.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked him frankly.

Wordlessly he shook his head, throat prickling. He slid back down into the sheets closer to her, relaxing fully as he felt her hands run through his hair, fingers scratching at his scalp. He hummed, enjoying the feeling and she made an amused sound in reply. It was enough to make him second guess his answer and he heard the _clink clink_ of the bauble at her ear as she moved.

He looked at it in earnest, head shifting to lay on her bent elbow, as she continued her soothing ministrations, “You said that was a limiter?”

She made a low sound in affirmation, reaching up to her own ear to finger the smooth bauble. It was a faceted cut of a crystal ball trimmed in gold filagree resembling patterns like lace, “It’ll seal my power for now. I can still summon it, it just feels like… Like I’m used to this ocean but only given a kiddy pool.”

A fancy singular earring, that’s all it appeared to be. It was all that kept her from blazing, just like his dream. Steven reached up and touched it now, rolling the hard crystal between his thumb and pointer, “And Anti-Rose said this would help?”

“Well.. It’s temporary ’til…” _Til’ I find someone who can handle my power. Someone that's not you._

She could see the stricken look on his face and she amended course, “Yes. She did warn me it can break though. I still have to figure out exactly what my limits are…”

At this Steven looked pained, but the alarm on his phone jingled and interrupted them. He shuffled across the mattress in an awkward roll to reach it where it sat on the wooden headboard lip, tapping the side button to silence it.

“Somewhere you have to be?” She asked him curiously with a hike of her eyebrows. She knew the answer, but would be remiss if she missed an opportunity to tease him about it.

“No.” He uttered the word sourly with too much heat to be true. Steven huddled back down into the sheets next to her with the disposition of a curmudgeon. The librarian chuckled and Steven fought to hide his smile. Instead he nudged her hands again gently with his head, a wordless request by insistent head-butt.

She smiled, resuming her ministrations without comment. Steven settled back against her, eyes closing in contentment. He had been cashing in on his victory terms from their training on the Manifest Destiny daily, without fail. He reveled in it, feeling like he was starved for affectionate touch. The Gems had always been loving but this was something different, something that felt uniquely intimate and his own in a way he’d never experienced. He couldn’t get enough.

“We could just stay here forever.” Steven mumbled the proposal, slightly resentful as he tacked on, “Responsibilities are overrated anyway.”

He was happy here, inside the simulation of his own room. It’d seemed silly, the real thing being the other side of the Temple Door. He’d teased her when she requested it - _All of the universe and you ask for Beach City_ \- but now as the simulated surf and breeze sounded cyclically through the open sliding glass door neither could picture being anywhere else.

She hummed, a particularly slow drag of fingers as she carded and shifted them through his black curls, “I’m pretty sure you would be missed. Earth’s greatest defender and all.”

“Earth’s _fine_.” He groused dismissively, hunkering down like a petulant barnacle.

She laughed, tone tinged with a hint of gallows, “That could always change.”

“It better not. I put a lot of work into saving the Earth already. I’m retired.” Steven grumbled, his arms sliding underneath her. He latched onto her tightly, arms giving her midsection a squeeze that would make a boa constrictor envious.

A snort of laughter escaped her and he buried his face against her to hide his amusement.

“I know but you’re just _so_ good at it.” The librarian cooed through her giggles with a sympathetic scratch to his head. He gave her another squeeze and popped his head up, chin on her stomach. “Besides, who’s gonna do it if you don’t?”

“I’m not the only Crystal Gem last time I checked.” Steven sniffed, sulking.

The librarian grinned slowly, eyebrow arching high, “Perhaps. Their leader seems to be sort of a brat though.”

Steven let out a bluster of air, looking smug rather than outraged, “How dare you say that about Garnet.”

“I clearly meant _you_!”

Steven only hummed, smile devious, “Debatable. I think I’ll tell Garnet you said that anyway.”

She let out a squeal of frustration, a flurry of limbs as she squirmed against him, “Steven! Don’t you dare!”

They rolled, tussling and tumbling across the mattress. She let out a shriek and Steven snickered. The rolling morphed into play wrestling for dominance before finally the librarian sunk her fingers into a spot Steven’s side just south of his right pectoral.

He flinched and reflexively giggled before fixing her with a look of panicked knowing dread.

“No! Stop! You know I’m ticklish.” He practically begged her. She grinned at him, full of toothy cunning. He immediately dove for her hands, the battle for victory resuming.

“Promise you won’t tell Garnet!” She demanded forcefully, wiggling her fingers in his side, and Steven felt his eyes water with tears, barely able to catch his breath through the ache of his laughter.

“Fine! Fine! You win! I won’t tell on you.” He capitulated. Sulking, Steven interrupted her open glee and squeal of victory by flipping her. Her hair scattered across the sheets, fanning out, as she landed hard on her back underneath him enough to stun.

Her smile faded, eyes widened as she felt his playfulness shift to something cunning. She knew that look and it made her heartbeat quicken. He kissed her, bottom lip frozen against her own for a moment, lingering. Softly, coaxingly, he pulled it into a series of grazing ones.

She relaxed, eyes drifting closed, breath rushing from her. She slid her hands up along his bare back, cupping his neck, clinging to his bicep. They’d spent the past several days with Steven seeming like a man possessed with urgency to map every square inch of her skin. He’d been frantic in some moments, leisurely in others. It was like he burned with a desire to memorize her, as if she’d disappear.

Not that she was exactly upset about it.

Steven Universe was the kind of lover poets wrote sonnets about, she had decided. For having never been someone’s partner before, his inherent kindness, attentiveness, and innate desire to please had made him a natural study. He quickly clued in to tell-tale sounds she would make. Or the way she’d stiffen when he’d find a spot particularly sensitive. He encouraged her to show him what she liked, tell him what she didn’t. He did it all with little interest in pursuit of sating his own pleasure. Some would call it selflessness. The librarian called it diabolical.

Because nothing, she had decided, was as good as watching Steven receive pleasure. He had other worldly powers, had saved the Earth all in an average day’s work before he turned sixteen. And yet he became putty in her hands. It was heady, intoxicating, and positively delicious. The way he’d pant and beg for her, the look of heat and longing in those brown eyes like he needed her _right then_. There was an aphrodisiac in that without the magic. With the magic… _Well_ …

His phone alarm jingled once more, rattling on the headboard. Steven sighed, breaking from her mouth with a whine that accelerated into a full groan, eyes shut. He reached a hand up, fumbling for it and silencing it. He collapsed fully stretched on top of her in defeat before curling down against her, burying his face into her neck.

“I do have to go.” He admitted resentfully, “But I don’t want to.”

“But then you’ll have to _get up_ and put on _actual_ clothes.” The librarian argued, tone phrasing this with enough gravitas as if it was a horrifying process to contemplate.

Steven groaned, “I know! But I’ve been away too long as it is. The Diamonds are holding council. I really should be there for it. They do need me. It is sort of my job…”

A tell-tale sarcastic grin peaked, “Here I thought you _had_ been doing your job these past few days. _First contact_ and all that.” She waggled an eyebrow and he actively snorted at the euphemism, flushing.

She continued, voice taking on the grandness of a spokesperson being interviewed, “As a Light Prism, I have nothing but high praise for the Diamond Authority’s diplomatic representation. That Pink Diamond. _Very_ attentive.”

She could feel his coarse chuckle roll over her skin, “Is that so? You think I make a habit of this sort of thing?”

“Seduction for the sake of the Gempire? Course not. I like to think I’m a special case. Very stubborn, I’ve been told. It was the only way.” She teased.

“Mhm-hm…” A humoring sound, “So Light Prism, what exactly _is_ your current feeling towards Gems?” He inquired in a semi-professional tone, kissing now across the plains of her stomach. The librarian’s breath hitched as his lips pressed against a spot just under her right hip bone.

“Dunno.” She bluffed, body tensing as she felt him vary the pressure, kiss changing from an insistent press to a caress. Her toes curled underneath the sheets as she bowed up into him from it. “But I’ve always been partial to human-hybrid Gems.” Her airy admission turned deceptively innocent and curious through coy lashes, “Are there many of those?”

He growled at her at this, nipping at her skin hard enough to make her gasp before healing it over with a sparkle of pink magic, “Just me. So I guess I’ll have to work hard to keep making a good impression.”

It was a statement heavy with intent and the librarian let out a soft moan as she felt his lips brush over the outer curve of her hip. She could feel that rush of heat fill her once more, need singing in her blood for him. He’d kindled it in her so many times he knew the signs and he practically purred, a pleased sound of peaked interest.

“Steven…” His name left her half in warning, half in sigh, “I thought you had to leave?”

“I do.” He insisted, “In a minute…” He slid down her and the librarian let out a deep curling moan, his face disappearing between her thighs.

He was already running late anyway. What was a few more minutes…

* * *

The warp pad on Homeworld began to glow and illuminate, beam of light shooting down. Steven Universe, hybrid and youngest member of the Great Diamond Authority, appeared with little fanfare. He was dressed once more in his regular attire of black star t-shirt and jeans. The warp at Homeworld was quiet as the last trill of sound from his arrival ended.

He took one step off the pad before he was immediately tackled by an energetic blur of pink and pigtail.

“Steven! You made it! Oh _man_ where have you been?” Spinel asked, tone dipping as she shook him back and forth by his shoulders. Steven felt rattled like a can of soda furiously shaken.

“White’s been going _c-ra-zy_!” She pronounced each syllable, wrapping her body around his like some sort of snake or spring before whirling in front of him, still talking a mile a minute, “Well, no more than normal but _you know_.” She intoned meaningfully.

Steven did know.

“Sorry about that…” He trailed, struggling to mean it, “I’ve been… busy.”

Spinel watched the way his cheeks crested pink but shrugged it off, practically dragging him down the hall and towards the council room.

“S’okay. You know _I_ don’t mind. I just wish you had more time to play.” Steven’s cheeks burned darker still in guilt. He had, in fact, been spending more time than he should have playing. That was the problem.

Spinel was still steam rolling ahead, waving wordlessly at the sentient walls as she passed, “Yellow’s been gone so much lately and Blue has just been all _storm_ clouds instead of _fun_ clouds and-”

Steven allowed himself to be tugged along by the hand, trying to focus on what Spinel was saying but failing. His mind was still a galaxy away, still thinking about the librarian back in Rose’s Room. Once they’d reunited, it’d been ages until he’d checked his phone. Somewhere around their second day in the Inner Sanctum he caught up while she got some much needed sleep, inundated with texts from all of the Gems, Lars, and Connie.

Most disturbingly was six missed calls from White Diamond. Three days prior he would have been a panicked stress ball at the mere thought of missing White’s calls. Instead, upon seeing it, he merely raised an eyebrow. Of course he’d gotten distracted shortly after, feeling the librarian’s chin on his shoulder and her arms slip around him.

He wondered for the second time already what the librarian was doing without him with a slight blush. He’d only been gone an hour tops and he was itching to get this over with and return.

“You alright, Stevie?” Spinel asked suddenly, whirling on the hybrid.

Steven skidded on his heels abruptly, eyes widening guiltily.

“Who? Me?” He asked, voice strangled.

“Yes, _you_ , you dope. Who else? You seem… distracted.” Spinel said carefully, eyes squinted.

Steven rubbed the back of his neck, giving her a helpless shrug, “Oh you know how these things make me.”

Spinel’s cheer mellowed, giving a nod, “Don’t worry about White. It’ll be fine this time.”

They rounded the final corner and the Pearl’s saluted before the double doors opened. It still made him cringe. He kept telling the Pearls this was Era Three but neither Yellow or Blue Pearl held much interest in visiting Little Homeworld or being separated from their Diamonds.

Steven and Spinel strolled into the council room. The three of the Homeworld Diamond Authority members rose to their feet from their spot around the giant diamond pointed conference table.

“Steven! It’s good to see you!” Blue Diamond exclaimed, voice smooth and ethereal despite her clear joy.

“Yes, _so good_ of you to join us, Steven.” White Diamond exclaimed, sulk evident. White was seated at the head of the table, just as radiant and blinding as always even if her mood was otherwise.

Steven laughed nervously, choosing not to address that, “Hi everyone. Sorry I’m late! I’ve been-”

“Busy. Yes. We’ve heard.” Yellow Diamond exclaimed with fascination, eyes seeming to glow. Steven froze, staring at her for a moment. The two silently eyed each other.

He’d been so occupied by the librarian, concerned about White, that he’d forgotten about Yellow.

He hadn’t seen her since her ship’s appearance in the Beta Quadrant. When Yellow Diamond had bought his Light Prism. _His_. He recalled how the warm heat of the librarian’s skin felt beneath his touch, the smile she always gave him. _His_.

He nearly flushed fully pink, his pupils flickered between brown and pink points. Steven struggled to keep the surge of anger he felt in check. Stars, these feelings were supposed to feel more manageable, better, now that he’d experienced touch, been with the librarian for days on end. Instead they felt stronger, a more visceral intense burning of one singular thought.

 _Mine_.

Yellow was still appraising him carefully as Steven quickly shoved those feelings down, blinking and fixing her with a static smile. He jumped, floating upward and into the giant throne chair that had been assigned to Pink Diamond. He hopped up to the arm and then stood on the table, chair looming behind him.

“So what’s this all about?” Steven asked, Spinel bouncing into his chair behind him.

“Well. If you would have answered your phone…”

“ _White_.” Steven sighed in warning, exasperated.

The matriarch of the Diamonds sniffed, “Yes, yes I know. But perhaps if you weren’t _so busy_ you would know that there was a Light Prism for sale on the black market in the Beta Quadrant.”

Steven paled, eyes shooting to Yellow Diamond. The reformed conqueror leaned in her chair, gaze seeming to glitter at him. He realized a moment too late this was probably telling and he quickly shifted his gaze to Blue. The Diamond normally appeared serene but at this she merely looked troubled

“Really, White? You’re sure?” Blue asked with open wonder and skepticism.

“Yes.” White Diamond bemoaned, collapsing into her own chair dramatically. “Yellow Diamond reported it. Did you not hear about it, Blue?”

Blue’s voice sounded ethereal, breezy, like a starlet of old Hollywood, “Well… I had heard rumors but I just assumed it was all talk, that sort of thing. Everyone knows Light Prisms went extinct at the end of Era One. Such a tragedy, but you know Pink did her best.”

“Regrettable.” Yellow Diamond commiserated sternly.

Steven tensed at the mention of Pink, mention of his mother. The feeling never got easier, only appearing tinged with dread. How many of his mother’s secrets would he be forced to endure?

“What do you mean _they went extinct_? What did Mom do?” Steven asked, the _this time_ implied. He almost didn’t want to know. He thought of his librarian, how earnest she was in wanting to know her origins. If she was the reason…

The Diamonds shared a look.

“Light Prisms used to belong to us, the Diamonds. We all had one. But Pink… Well Pink wasn’t conquering _anything_ so we gave hers to Hessonite. After Pink gained her first colony though, we gave the Prism back to her. And Pink started getting all these crazy ideas about Light Prisms being _sentient_ and having _free will_.”

If they were anything like his own Light Prism, Steven had a feeling he knew where his Mom had gotten the idea from. From what he knew of how the Diamonds were, he could guess how that was received.

“Hessonite was such a mess.” White Diamond bemoaned with a fair bit of irritation that was telling, for one who prided herself on keeping a cheerful tone in Era Three, “It was all very tedious.”

“What happened?” Steven asked, mentally preparing himself.

Blue ventured with a sad sigh, “Something corrupted our Light Prisms.”

Yellow shot her a narrowed look, “ _Corruption_. Bah! Pink’s Prism was always defective.”

“You have to remember it was Era One, Steven.” Blue Diamond continued, “We used Light Prisms to colonize half the galaxy. We knew what they were capable of. And then suddenly we discover they could corrupt us? It was terrible.”

Steven fought to keep his voice even and judgement-free, “What did you do?”

Yellow’s voice was flat, “Pink’s Light Prism took human form and turned all the Prisms against us. So we wiped Moissanite off the star map. They were _sentient_ weapons, Steven. They were dangerous.”

Blue nodded eagerly, “We couldn’t let them fall into the hands of Metals like Silver or heaven forbid, _Gold_.”

“Ugh, don’t mention him to me.” White Diamond moaned dramatically, a well black manicured hand pressed to her temple, eyes closed.

“Woah, woah, woah. Was Moissanite a person?” Steven asked, attempting to keep up.

The three Diamonds exchanged a look amongst themselves again, clearly reluctant to proceed. Spinel popped up like a daisy through the ice.

“No silly! It was a planet! The Light Prism Homeworld!” Spinel cartwheeled across the meeting table, foot landing on a hologram that projected the planet above them.

Steven spied the familiar coordinates in neat glyphs next to the floating hologram of asteroids around a shattered planet. They were the same ones Lars had scribbled down for him.

He collapsed onto the desk, legs giving out beneath him, faintly, “You…”

“Eliminated a threat.” Yellow Diamond filled in, watching the younger Diamond carefully.

“And we will again.” White Diamond decided swiftly, leaning her face into her hand.

“You can’t!” Steven blurted out immediately, earning raised eyebrows all around. “I mean… Why? How do you know she’s a threat? What do you want to do?”

“She?” Yellow asked suspiciously. Steven flushed, inwardly berating himself for the slip.

“I-I.. I mean I just assumed. You said human form.” Steven stammered out the lie.

“This Light Prism does present female. I saw her, through Yellow Pearl, at the auction held in the Beta Quadrant.” Yellow Diamond explained, settling back into her own chair. The revelation was enough to take the attention off Steven and onto the canary yellow giant.

“Really? What did she look like Yellow?” Blue asked, completely spellbound.

“Puny.” Yellow sniffed, “She escaped though by fusion. Some renegade Gem is helping her.”

“Outlandish. I won’t believe it.” White Diamond scoffed dismissively, “Who would betray our kind by fusing with… with… that lowly life form.”

“ _White_.” Steven ground out again in warning through clenched teeth.

White sulked, pursing her dark lips, “Equal. _Whatever_.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll find the Light Prism and this… renegade Gem. And I’ll shatter them.” Yellow Diamond declared, eyes glittering at the challenge. It had been an age since she had been able to hunt down a traitor to the Gempire, found a threat that was powerful and challenging.

“No!” Steven exclaimed, jumping to his feet and his senses, “That’s not you speaking, that’s Era One. We’re in Era Three now. Give her a chance. There’s no guarantees she means us any harm.” He looked up at the three Diamonds beseechingly, trying to push them to see reason.

“Oh Pink… _Steven_!” Blue corrected rapidly. Steven winced.

Her voice wavered, clearly touched, but patronizing, “You always do see the best in others.”

“Copper was also at the auction.” Yellow continued, eyes only on White Diamond, “You _know_ why he’d want her.”

White scoffed and Yellow pressed forward insistingly like the other three Gems weren’t there, “Metals, White. Metals again at our doorstep.”

White Diamond sneered, a curling of her features that filled Steven with familiar horror. Her distaste was apparent, as she clucked her tongue dismissively, “Shatter them, Yellow.”

“No! Please!” Steven insisted in a rush, feeling increasingly like he was in a nightmare, “You don’t understand-” Words stuck in his throat, his past and present blending together.

_Please don’t do this. I love her._

“I’m sorry, Starlight.” White Diamond only cooed down to him, as if he was a child, “If you had Pink’s memories… Perhaps you would understand what I’m trying to prevent. I can’t let this come to pass.”

“I won’t let you do this.” Steven only insisted, fury rising as he stared up at the three of them.

“Run along, Steven, dear. Let me handle this.” Yellow Diamond insisted dismissively, eyes glittering as she stared at White. Exhilaration rose with in her. This was the glory of the bygone eras, come for her once again. A chance to prove she was capable of more - the takedown of a Light Prism.

The three Diamonds turned away while Steven nearly overflowed with anger, eyes pink. He hopped down, ignoring Spinel’s calls of concern after him. She ran after him, struggling to keep up and drawing the attention of the Diamonds. He pushed the double doors of the conference room open with a gust of power.

The Pearls saluted as he went, “My Diamond.”

“Steven! Wait up!” Spinel insisted, gaining on him only by stretching her limbs into practically noodles.

“They don’t understand what they’re doing.” Steven warned Spinel abruptly, tone darkening as he whirled to face her in front of the warp, pupils flecked geometric, “If they do _anything_ to her…”

Spinel’s eyes widened, understanding sparking as she uttered, “You know her.”

Behind Spinel, Steven could see Yellow, Blue, and White had filtered into the halls. Yellow was talking animatedly with White out of earshot but upon seeing Steven she froze, gaze appraising the two.

Compelled, Steven found himself shouting down the hall to her, “Yellow! Who was it that won the auction for the Light Prism?”

Yellow Diamond’s eyes immediately narrowed at him, Diamond pupils seeming to constrict. The two stared at each other a silent battle of wills. Yellow spoke carefully as she called back, “Some Metal Resistance group on Beta Nine, apparently!”

Steven’s lips lifted knowingly at the lie. He stepped on to the warp pad.

“Really? Strange. That’s not what I heard.”

White Diamond looked between them speechless, for once as the look on Yellow’s face flooded with a mixture of fear and shock. Panic filled her features as Yellow tried to figure out how Steven knew. He knew!

Steven only gave her a two fingered salute of a wave before disappearing into the warp stream back to Earth in a rush of chimes.

* * *

Steven appeared on the warp pad inside the Temple, fury still simmering.

He knew he should talk to the Crystal Gems, should plan what to do considering he’d all but told Yellow he knew where the Light Prism was. Strangely, he could care less.

He stood in front of the Inner Sanctum of the Temple and pink gem activated, door to Rose’s Room phasing open once more. He slipped inside.

Through the pink clouds and mist he could hear steady strikes. There was a skating sound, metal grinding against metal. He rounded a cloud and could see her, the librarian locked sword for sword against a Holo-Pearl. She was dressed once more in training attire, her neon purple athletic set, her hair in a high ponytail. She seemed to grit her jaw and push her opponent aside in a tangle of metal and a forceful kick. Unfortunately she wasn’t fighting only one Holo-Pearl but a sea of them. Two more rushed her spears drawn while she pushed the kick through.

Steven summoned his shield immediately, sliding in front of her at the last possible second to catch the spear point onto the front of his shield.

“Hi honey. I’m home.” He quipped darkly. She huffed, eyes wide to see him and in a burst of strength and a pink wave of power he sent six Holo-Pearl’s flying and short circuiting.

“Is this your doing?” Steven asked her curtly from under the cover of his shield. He held it on his forearm above them, effortlessly holding back a lunging stab by several Holo-Pearls.

Her cheeks flushed pink guiltily and she couldn’t meet his eye. The sea of Holo-Pearl’s whirled in a synchronized drone of voices, “Additional combatant detected. Dual training mode initiated.”

“I _might_ have turned the training simulator up to a higher difficulty than recommended.” The librarian admitted wryly with a bit of a fidget. Her eyes widened as she ducked the swipe of a Holo-Pearl’s blade. Steven took the opportunity to parry the blow, disarming the holographic Pearl in two shield strikes and a clean sweep.

He flicked his shield free from his wrist, the spinning pink disc cutting in an arc through multiple foes at once, “I don’t remember recommending it at _all_. How did you…”

The librarian blocked a blow of her own, using the Pearl’s momentum against her by stepping to the side. The holographic droid careened straight into Steven’s pink bubble spiked fist, “You told it to listen to me! What’d you expect?”

Steven poofed the Holo-Pearl and pushed the librarian back behind him,“You are a danger magnet.” He insisted heatedly, “I can’t leave you alone for five minutes.”

“That’s just rude.” The librarian huffed, “Contrary to your opinion, I _can_ take care of myself.” She insisted hotly, sword in her hand twisting to cross against a Holo-Pearl’s spear. She exchanged two strikes with the red-eyed Pearl before the combat droid sent her flying. Steven caught the librarian by the shoulders and absently she realized he’d bulked, was taller.

“I’m not questioning that.” He insisted, “I am questioning why you’re not fighting with a construct of your own.” His eyes darted down to the blade in her hand that was not made of crystal, clearly a solid grey.

“My summoning is a little… dodgy with a limiter.” She admitted hesitantly, shoving the sword tip first into the ground momentarily. She attempted to summon the halberd construct once more and the outline of it seemed to fritz and break in her hands like a shaky image. A Holo-Pearl burst through it, spear raised above her in a coiled death blow.

Steven snapped, bulking completely, and flaring into Pink Diamond at the sight of something else trying to harm her.

He immediately slammed a pink wall between the librarian and the Holo-Pearl, the Pearl’s attack clanging off the honeycombed magenta surface. Pink Diamond gave a flick of his hand and the librarian lifted, floating. He gave a quirk of his fingers, the toe of her sneakers dragging through the clouds as she flew behind him. A giant bubble of pink snapped around her.

Pink Diamond slammed his fist into the ground, crackling like a pink electric field as it traveled like a current in front of him. The twenty or so remaining Holo-Pearl’s frizzed with it, stiffening momentarily before dissipating.

“Expert mode defeated!” The last Pearl mechanically declared before poofing into nothingness.

The librarian stared wide eyed at the display. She always knew Pink Diamond… Steven… was powerful, had heard the stories. But somehow seeing him fight was always awe inspiring. A shudder ran through her. It had to be a combination of shield prowess, battle confidence, or the way his magic affected her that caused her cheeks heat, heart pound. She tried not to show she was shaking as Pink Diamond righted himself.

“Are you alright?” The Diamond asked her gruffly, releasing the bubble of pink around her with an effortless turn of his hand. Owlishly she stared at him, managing to give a nod. She registered dimly that he had made it into her personal space likely during her distracted marveling. She was dwarfed by him in this state, coming up ambitiously to the mid point of his chest.

“Hello Pink.” She said faintly, head tipping back to look up at him. He smirked at this, a hot lift to the corner of his mouth that made something in her lowers curl and did nothing to help her raging hormones.

“No flinching _and_ a greeting.” He marveled aloud, eyes darting down with a slight impressed tilt of his head, “I think that’s called progress.”

“Perhaps.” She ventured cautiously, feeling self-conscious, “A training simulation is a little… beneath you, don’t you think?”

The Diamond however did not look pleased.

“I disagree. _Everything_ seems to want to kill you today.” He practically seethed.

The librarian frowned, surmising rather quickly, “Bad day at the office then, sweetie?”

Pink Diamond let out a scoff, running a hand back through his pronounced pink curls in frustration and turning away from her, “The Diamonds heard about the auction. That there’s a Light Prism on the run with a renegade Gem.”

The librarian’s tone was bone dry, “Oh, I’m sure Yellow told them all about it.”

Pink Diamond was not amused, his expression furious as his gaze cut to her at the mention of Yellow. Her dark humor faded and Pink watched her expression carefully as he told her, “They decided to shatter you. Yellow is lying to White about being the highest bidder. And I’m pretty sure… That she knows I’m the Gem who helped you escape.”

_And the Diamonds wiped out your entire race and planet. My mom is the reason you’re alone._

“That’s…” she breathed headily, blinking rapidly. The Diamonds were Steven’s family. She was threatening everything Steven had worked to build, driving a wedge between them.

“I won’t let them near you.” Pink Diamond was assuring her, fingers brushing her hair back and over her shoulder. The motion was enough to draw her from her thoughts and abruptly she looked up at him.

“Stev- Pink…“ The librarian corrected herself, “They _know_. Shouldn’t we just go talk to them?”

“No. You don’t know what they’re like.” Pink Diamond dropped his hand, frustrated as he began to pace through the clouds, “They’re not like the Crystal Gems. They’re family and they _try_ but they still aren’t… Well, they conquered planets for thousands of years. Era Three wasn’t built in a day or even ten years. It’s a _second_ for them. And I…” He trailed, grasping for words emptily.

“You still don’t trust them, do you? Old habits and all that jazz?” The librarian surmised and Pink Diamond felt like the air left him. It was true. He didn’t trust them. His own family and he didn’t trust them to hear him out and not shatter her.

Yellow’s motivations, for another, remained ominous at worst, mysterious at best.

“They value my opinion, but they also still dismiss me like I’m... Well, some stuff they still like to think they know best on. Light Prisms are one of those things. They were dangerous back in Era One and they still think you’re dangerous now.” Pink Diamond finished, hands raising before collapsing back at his side.

The librarian laughed, incredulous, “I can barely even summon a weapon at all right now. My combat training is… _sparse_. How the hell am I dangerous to them?”

“I’ve seen what you’re capable of first hand. They _should_ be afraid of you.” Pink Diamond argued, lips lifting into a proud smirk. She flushed.

“That was an accident!” She protested, “I really didn’t-“

“All the more terrifying. Untrained and you still took down a Fleet of Iron. They’ve decimated _worlds_ , Stardust. Do you realize that? And you took them down at _warp_.”

“I really don’t know how I…” She stammered and Pink grabbed her by the shoulders, staring down at her with a pointed gaze, excitement palpable.

“I could show you.”

“Not this again.” She sighed, exasperated, breaking free with a protesting hand. It was pure arrogance, to think of trying fealty. She still had a hard time thinking about how terrible the ordeal in the Beta Quadrant had been, how he looked washed out of color. She refused.

“Yes, _this_ again.” Pink insisted hotly, grabbing her before she could turn from him “Do you _honestly_ think I’m going to sit idly by while I watch Yellow invade my planet to get to you? I could see it in her face, that she thinks she’s won. That you’re hers by right.”

He could see it, the fire that flared in her eyes, “I don’t want you fighting your family for me. I’m not worth-”

“Don’t you _dare_ say you’re not worth it.” Pink Diamond cut her off sternly, “You are _mine_. And I will keep you safe even if she brings half the galaxy to take you away.” His hand was at her profile again, a featherlight caress that made her tremble.

“And what does that entail? Keeping me safe?” She asked him, a bit breathless.

“Not leaving this room, for starters.” Pink Diamond declared flatly, staring at her as if daring her to disagree. His fingers brushed the bauble hanging from her ear, a pretty piece of jewelry.

Predictably he watched her blink rapidly, mouth working in exasperation to find words, “I can’t _stay_ in here! I have a job, you know. I need food... Entertainment.”

Pink Diamond quirked his mouth, hunching to stare at her at eye level, “Nanaefua isn’t expecting you back for another week, maybe more. There’s a few Gems from Little Homeworld helping her keep things running at the library.”

She let out a burst of incredulous laughter, scoffing as she stared at him, at a loss for words. This could not be happening. Was he serious?

“As for your other needs, my demanding little pet... _I_ will provide for you.” He stated, with a proud air, his smile lifted into a smirk, “As Your Diamond it’s only proper.”

“I’m not a pet! You can’t keep me in here forever.” She practically growled, “It’s not right!”

“I most certainly could.” Pink Diamond snapped back, “Although I’ll settle for at least until I know the Earth is safe and Yellow isn’t looking here. Fair enough, Stardust?”

She glared at him, bitter, “And how long will that take? Whenever you get around to it?”

Pink Diamond grinned at her, a full curl of his mouth. So clever, his little subject. She was practically vibrating with anger and he drew close to her anyway, a displeased sound leaving him when he reached for her and she attempted to bat his hand away. He grasped it and tugged her into him, feeling her push at his shoulders with her tiny fists like an immoveable mountain. He weathered it as impassively, amused at her fight. She refused to look at him and he grasped her around the back of the neck, pad of his thumb pushing her chin up.

Her eyes sparkled, a dam against her welling tears, as they met his.

“You’re afraid.” He realized aloud, turning serious.

“ _Of course I’m afraid!_ ” She burst out almost hysterically, “You’re telling me I have to sit here and do nothing while everyone defends our home. That’s not right either. This is my fault. What if something happens… I’m ruining everything… ”

Pink Diamond hummed, brushing his mouth over her lips gently, “You are helping by hiding willingly in my cage, little bird. You aren’t ruining anything and nothing will happen. I won’t let it. Trust me.”

“Trust you?” She repeated him slowly, tenseness unfurling. Slowly she registered she was fully in the Diamond’s grip, pulled against him. He had her, held her, and she realized already her body had slackened without her realizing it. Pink Diamond only smirked at her.

He tightened his grip around her waist, fingers brushing at her cheek, “Give me one full week. You already promised Steven that anyway.” He practically purred.

“You seem to forget you can’t guarantee Earth’s safety if you’re in here with me.” She pointed out, her pride wavering along with her weakly in his arms.

“And you seems to forget it’s not just me that cares about you.” He countered. “One week, Stardust. That’s all I ask.”

She chewed a bit on her bottom lip, mulling over this for a moment before giving him a stiff nod, “Fine. One week.”

Exhilaration flooded him, deep satisfaction at her trust. Pink Diamond ran his fingers down her neck, “As for entertaining you while you stay here, pet… I don’t think that will be an issue.”

“Pink…” She breathed faintly and abruptly he kissed her, hand against her lower back, crushing her against him. She gasped against his lips, feeling as if she could practically taste magic in his mouth. In this form he was radiating power, the magic just barely beneath the surface. It made her hungry for him, desperate to touch and taste. Her head spun, her knees weak. He supported her effortlessly, dragging her in to wind herself against his front.

He chuckled lowly, amused by the sudden need that seemed to overtake her and she blushed, furious at herself but also needing… needing… She shoved her fingers into his large pink curls and kissed him hard. He growled, finger digging into her butt, pulling her up and against him to compensate their height difference. The position pressed her momentarily against his lower body and she could feel the prominent swell against her through his jeans.

His hand slid between them, shoving down the front of her spandex work out pants. His fingers were large and searching as they probed into the front of her underwear, slipping and fiddling with her sex. He chuckled lowly in amusement, feeling her drenched for him.

“You’re burning for me. Why is that?” Pink Diamond inquired, tone dark and playful.

Her cheeks flushed darkly and she looked to the side, embarrassed at the way her hips seemed to have a mind of their own and bucked traitorously to his touch.

He leaned closer still to her, voice low like a conspirator, “Is it the fighting? I do enjoy our little spars.” He murmured into her ear hotly right before he nipped at the shell of her ear.

“Or is it that you _like_ the idea of being my pet?”

She whimpered weakly at this and Pink Diamond hummed knowingly.

“Room… Make my pet look the part.” Pink Diamond instructed. In a poof, her athletic clothes were gone, replaced with a singular outfit that seemed to consist of pink shorts, covered with a smaller pink tutu that bled upwards into elaborate magenta corsetry. The front corsetry clasps were small roses, the front dipping low. Small circlets of pink silk covered her upper arms as off the shoulder sleeves. Around her neck was an elaborate choker of pink jewels and diamonds. Her hair was woven with roses and jewels.

“Better.” He hummed, “Beautiful. You see?” He asked her dotingly, a mirror appearing before her. The librarian flushed, barely recognizing herself for a moment. It was clear from the outfit to exactly which Diamond she belonged. She could see Pink Diamond standing behind her and she watched, the strong forearm wrapping around her waist and dragging her backwards to him. She could feel his arousal, hard against her and she squirmed a bit, overwhelmed. His hand ran up her front to just under her chin. He pushed her head back and dipped his face low, kissing her.

His opposite hand slid straight back beneath the waistband of her shorts and she whimpered, a beautiful needy sound. He caressed and fiddled with her, expertly knowing what she liked through his knowledge of Steven’s exploration.

His hand at her jaw fell and elation filled him as he realized she continued a leisurely pace of hungry kisses with him. She turned to face him and he kept his hand against her, a movement and quirk of his index finger causing her hands to fly to his shoulders to brace herself, breath catching. He smirked and she glowered at him, a resentful heat in her cheeks.

“Don’t g-get the wrong idea. I d-don’t… I’m not…” She insisted furiously, losing her train of thought as pleasure fluttered across her features.

Pink Diamond chuckled, lighting a fire within her, “Its far too late for denial, sweetheart. You want this and you want me. Admit it.”

She pushed at his shoulders and he collapsed back, into a carbon copy of Pink Diamond’s throne from Homeworld. Surprised, he quirked an eyebrow as she followed him, straddling him with a knee to either side of his hips as she slid into his lap. The look on his face was smug and she scowled but did not pull away.

Pink Diamond hummed, running his hands up her sides, relaxing back into his throne. He could feel her hands at the button of his jeans popping it free. She unzipped him and leaned forward to kiss him. Her lips hovered against his bottom one, breath hot as her nose nudged his, “Only if you also admit what you want…”

He exhaled sharply, breath leaving him in a rush as he felt her fingers brush over his gemstone lingeringly. She traced it slowly, lips just out of reach and withholding as she touched him. He groaned low, need sliding hard and intense through him at the sensation. Her mouth quirked at the sound and her hand slipped down past the waistband of his boxers. She hovered here as her nose nudged his. He leaned in for her mouth and she pulled back slightly, a playful hitch of a powerful smile as his hips shifted needfully under her hovering hand, “Tell me.”

“Touch me.” Pink Diamond told her and he pretended his voice didn’t lift with need when he said it. She pressed her lips over his, fingers sliding downwards before wrapping around his arousal. His eyes fluttered closed, a needful groan sliding from him as he felt her hand raise and lower. The librarian moaned herself, registering he was thicker in her hand than she recalled, a certain ache settling between her legs.

“What else?” She asked him softly, “My Diamond?”

Pink Diamond groaned heatedly practically tearing her shorts down her legs. The librarian shifted, kicking them free with a flick of her ankles. She paused for a moment as he slid his pants down farther, shimmying free of them as well. Her eyes flicked between them, at his arousal, clear and jutting between them. His voice was deep, heated, “Don’t stop. Touch me.”

Nerves spiked in the face of it, but she pushed them away, resuming her touch of him. It was nearly a caress. He exhaled harshly, eyes seeming to burn as he watched her, the determination in her gaze to please him. She kept her hand moving over him a steady rhythm. He huffed, staring up at her heatedly, hand clamping around her neck and collarbone to urge her in a pull, “Ride me.”

She lifted up onto her knees and drew closer to him before making eye contact with him. His pink eyes seemed to burn, as wide and as worshipping as when they were brown. Carefully she guided him, pressing him to her entrance. He huffed, struggling not to thrust up. Instead he let her lower herself onto him slowly. She moaned, confidence slipping to a whimper for a moment as she gradually let him slide up and fill her. Finally she settled down onto his hips and she let out a breath, thoroughly overwhelmed at the feel of him.

“Such a good girl.” He breathed praise to her, “Taking all of your Diamond.”

She whimpered and he hummed, hand reaching down between them. He rubbed and flicked at her clit and slowly, ever so carefully he felt her start to shift on him. He rumbled appreciably, letting her adjust. He felt her relax, a sigh. Beneath her he rocked gently, holding her tight as he began to move from beneath within her.

“That’s… Not fair…” She protested, envious Pink Diamond had taken the lead from her. He chuckled deviously, keeping his movements small, his fingers rubbing at her clit. Soon her hips were rocking as well as she began a stuttering rhythm of her own, slowly riding him. His hands were in her hair, on her hip, guiding her.

“Mhm-hm… That’s it. That’s it. Just like that. Stars, so good.” He encouraged her, hips bobbing beneath hers as he groaned. She began to pick up her pace hips grinding up needfully against his own, movements growing bolder. She began to twist, a winding figure eight on his lap of her hips and Pink Diamond nearly lost his grip on his control, panting.

She wasn’t able to keep pace long before he stopped her, pushing her back off of him. She whined, stumbling and wavering on her feet. The acute sense of loss was immediate and she nearly protested, But Pink Diamond stood as well, only to push her to stand to the side of the throne.

He bent her over one of the expansive armrests and pressed himself back to her entrance. He gripped himself and pressed his way back inside her, grunting in pleasure. Pink Diamond let out a low groan, the sensation causing him to see stars and nearly go over the edge. He set a quick, demanding pace, relief filtering through him at the ability to take her as rough and fast as his body burned for.

“Pink.. _Steven_ …” She insisted, tone pleasing, “I’m gonna… _Please_ …” She barely could form words, pleasure mind numbing as she clung to the throne.

“What? What do you need?” Pink Diamond asked her, a trail of his mouth at the nape of her neck, tenderness at odds with his actions. His thrusts were hard now, relentless.

“You!” She pleaded, “I need you. Please, I’m so close, please.” She tensed in front of him and he purred at her answer, shoving his face against the back of her shoulder. He reached around her, brush of his fingers at her clit. She gasped, sobbing as he felt her flutter around him, coming immediately in a deep throb and rush of pleasure.

He bit her for a moment, magic cresting through her and he felt it slip, trying to rush from him and revert him to Steven. He snarled and clung to her, desperate to finish as Pink Diamond rather than Steven as she trembled. His thrusts became more pronounced as he kept pace through her sustained orgasm.

Finally, Pink Diamond grunted, unable to hold back any longer. He buried himself inside her a final time, groaning and giving in to a wave of release. He showered her in a steady flow of magic that healed all of her aches and made her feel warm, safe.

The throne disappeared from beneath her, back to factory default clouds. Throne gone, she slid to her knees, with him following her. She looked back over her shoulder at Steven Universe huffing at her back rather than Pink Diamond.

“Hi.” She murmured, smiling at Steven with a lazy grin.

“Hi yourself.” He mumbled back, nosing her face with his. He slipped from her but continued to lean against her back, face against her shoulder blade. He seemed to sag against her, spent but satisfied.

“Feeling better?” She only asked with a deep sigh.

“Yeah. Sorry if I…” He flushed pink guiltily, embarrassed. In truth, the scenario had been a fantasy he’d held for weeks now come to life. He pulled back from her a bit, flustered.

She quirked an eyebrow in warning and he broke off his apology. Previously she had scolded him for apologizing for wanting things like this, wanting her. Instead he asked, “Are you alright?”

Her warning look relaxed into a melted smile. He always asked her, always concerned that not only that he hadn’t hurt her, but that she was properly satiated.

“I’m so tired.” She only admitted with a whine, making him laugh, “But I feel gross. I need a bath.”

“I can take care of that.” Steven assured her soothingly. _I can take care of you._

She sighed, twisting in his grip to lean against him, and he summoned a bath tub.

“You’re tired too.” She protested weakly with a frown.

“Just relax.” He insisted. He turned the dial on the faucet, the style that of a grand clawfoot. There was an explosive rush of water, the tub seeming to steam. She wavered against him as it filled with water, feeling exhausted. Steven only hummed, working to divert her of the last remains of her pink outfit, blush returning.

“Did you uhm… the outfit…” He ventured clumsily, cheeks dark as he looked up at her. She guessed his meaning, unable to stop the beginnings of an amused smile.

“It was cute. Very pink. Then again subtlety isn’t exactly your style.” She appraised, watching the tub finish filling. She absently thought of bubbles and the beach and the Room seemed to shift to her whims, location changing and tub interior suddenly foaming. Abruptly he scooped her up, lifting her off her feet and into his arms.

“I just think it’s your best color.” Steven protested, tone far too innocent to be true.

She made a face and he chuckled, stepping with her into the tub. Slowly, carefully, he eased them both down into the warm water.

“Logically there’s no way we should both fit in here.” She pointed out but sighed anyway, blissful at the feel of the soothing heat. She settled between Steven’s thighs and hiked knees and he summoned a bar of his lavender soap.

“Well I’m not getting out.” He declared, “And you’re not going anywhere til you’re clean.”

“If you insist.” The librarian tried to feign dismay but it rang hollow. She felt him dip the bar of soap under the surface before running it up her spine, along her back and up over her shoulders. His fingers followed, deep dragging presses of his thumb and fingers between her shoulder blades. She practically melted back against him, groan pushed out of her by the motion.

Silence fell over them, the only sound that of artificial waves the notes of a sigh that left her as he continued his ministrations. Steven smoothed and caressed the soap over her skin, adoration in every brush of his hand.

He could do this. He could keep her here, safe, her every whim catered to with the help of Rose’s Room. She wouldn’t have to leave, leave him. The serenity slid through him as he lathed her wet skin, following the clean path of her right shoulder with his mouth. Within him Pink Diamond’s fantasy still burned, fueled stronger still by his own love, own desperate desire to shield her and keep her safe. He could keep her here, just like this, all to himself.

Unseen, his eyes started to glow pink once more as the thought cemented.

 _Mine_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I saw my hits spike around last weekend (aka my normal update time) and was filled with crippling guilt so... as an admin note my every two weeks may stretch to the 2.5-3 time frame. I have not been able to write as much lately (real life! gross!). Don't worry. I cannot give up my one-woman crusade to take this wholesome show and write sin for it. I'm in too deep. Save yourselves. 
> 
> I enjoyed writing the Diamonds this chapter. It's just my take, but I think they were too hastily redeemed in the show. White also hits like a narcissistic parent to me... I deem them supremely sus. 
> 
> Til' next time... xoxo.


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